The folks over at Buzzfeed spoke with three sexperts about the nitty gritty of a favorite bedroom pastime for many gay men: Rim jobs.
New York City sex therapist Dr. Stephen Snyder, proctologist Dr. David Rosenfeld, and Dr. Dennis Fortenberry, professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine, who specializes in the research of health risk behaviors and STDs, sat down with Buzzfeed writer Casey Gueren to talk all thing anilingus.
Here’s what they had to say:
STIs
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According to Fortenberry, STIs can be transmitted via rim jobs, “not necessarily because the anus or rectum is infected, but because it’s part of the skin that connects the entire genital area, and some of those organisms may simply be moving around.”
That’s right, fellas, Hep A and B, chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, herpes, syphilis, and even HIV can all be contracted from ass-to-mouth and vice versa.
“I’m not sure that the exposure that you would get from direct contact with the anus would be that much different than with oral sex or sex,” Fortenberry says.
Bacteria
Germaphobes can relax because, according to Rosenfeld, bacteria festering in your partner’s backside isn’t something you need to be too worried about since there’s bacteria all over the place–in your anus, in your genitals, on your skin, in your bedsheets — and getting a little in your mouth typically won’t do any harm.
Of course, this is assuming neither you or your partner are hosting any strains of harmful illness-causing bacteria or parasites in your bodies, which leads the experts to the next point…
E. Coli, C. difficile, salmonella, etc.
If your partner is suffering any parasites from, say, a trip abroad or eating bad Chinese food, or if his stomach has been acting up, don’t perform a rim job on him without some sort of barrier (i.e. a dental dam). Although, chances are, if he’s battling a bout of salmonella poisoning he’s probably not going to be in the mood for hanky panky anyway.
Poo
According to Rosenfeld, if your partner has been having irregular bowel movements or loose stools, you may also want to reconsider tossing his salad, or, if you do, at least use a barrier.
How come? Because irregular bowel movements = excessive bacteria, festering germs, etc.
The goal, Rosenfeld says, is for “smooth, solid stool that doesn’t leave anything behind when you wipe.”
Unfortunately, this may mean asking your man about his BMs, but, as Buzzfeed so eloquently puts it, “a conversation about his poops… [is] better than going in there blind, right?”
Cleanliness
This one should really go without saying. Before going down on him, tell your man to wash, wash, wash. And then wash some more.
Rosenfeld recommends washing with a detachable shower head and using a mild soap since body washes can sometimes irritate the anus.
How clean is clean enough? Snyder says it’s a “judgement call.”
“If it passes a visual test and a sniff test,” he says, “you should be in the clear.”
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Demitrius Wolfe
Theres just some places lips and a tongues should never venture. Fucking nasty.
o.codone
NOT nasty at all, in fact, delicious. hell yes, I’ve done it a million times and it’s never been a problem. I love ass licking. Please sit on my face now.
tdx3fan
I personally LOVE eating a hot ass. It is good for me and good for my partners. Both my partners are complete germophobes, and they keep it very clean.
Realitycheck
Correction to the article, well known fact, saliva kills HIV, that is a fact.
Unless one has a bleeding sore in his mouth there is virtually risk of
transmission from that
Realitycheck
virtually NO risk of transmission,
John Kovacs
John Crotty
Chip
If this is your thing I say have fun. It is Not for me though.
Billy Budd
I’ve NEVER licked anyones ass, but mine has been licked before.
MMDD
Have eaten out my hubby’s ass hundreds of times and never had a problem at all. He goes absolutely wild when I do it to him. It’s a deliciously erotic and sexy thing to do to a man.
Jack Anthony Owen
Looks nice firm and juicey’
Low Country Boy
Why is the lead photo accompanying this post a peach that looks like the head of a dick then?
Giancarlo85
@o.codone: Coming from you, that isn’t a surprise.
Rimming is something I think is gross and something I don’t do, nor would I allow it happen to me.
Charlie in Charge
Soap and water… immediately before. Clean up and I can rim you in three languages. It eases one up for all the wonders that follow.
Demitrius Wolfe
And so that we are clear. You never go ass to mouth either. Just as bad.
Tackle
@Realitycheck: Good points. Because I’ve never heard of HIV being contracted from rimming…
MMDD
@Demitrius Wolfe: Nope. Not bad at all. I frequently kiss my hubby after I’ve rimmed him. Again, it’s never been a problem.
TemptyK
To me, eating ass is like sucking on foreskin. It would be A COLD DAY IN HELL before I ever do either of these two things. Fucking nasty! I think I’m gonna barf!
tdh1980
Once one overcomes phobias and insecurities about the cleanliness of buttholes, rimming becomes an easy and pleasurable aspect of sex as both giver and receiver. It’s a basic fact of physiology that poo isn’t housed in one’s rectum *all of the time*, so chances are that as long as one’s partner bathes regularly and practices safe(r) sex, enjoyment can occur without trepidation.
Joseph Perry
that looks more like a big ol’ juicy dick tip to me.
TampaBayTed
Most guys (straight, bi, gay) loved to get rimmed. It feels oh so damn good. But most would not do the rimming for various reasons.
Matt
Freaking disgusting. Dogs do it but don’t know any better. And the first sentence is wrong when it says “many gay men”. It’s more stereotyping.
wpewen
The first thing a guy did to me at 19 that I said “why?” After a while I found out. Not for everyone, not for all occasions, more than one not. Why? Well, ignore anything said here and stick with HIGH RISK. Yes,it is, no matter how much people deny it. Why? Primarily parasites, amoebas, any intestinal problem. Not that many people used to get any real STDs from it as I remember years ago (I could be wrong) but the main deterrent is doing it with a pick-up guy. You should personally know the man, not a hook-up. Same really, for dick in ass sex, despite the use of a condom. As a 56 year old guy that’s what I’d advise. Anytime your ass is involved other than Daddy’s strap, be careful. If you pick up an amoeba or parasite it can be hell, and amoebas used to be a real bummer to get rid of. When in doubt, don’t.
UWSguy
Love it provided you follow the guidelines above. When in doubt I have them shower in front of me (with a helping hand from me). Very gross when someone wants it dirty.
Mikah
I fucking LOVE rimming,and ass eating.It’s definitely a hobby of mine.
polarisfashion
Not for me. Although I did have a previous partner that would do it to me all the time. I don’t know why I made an exception for him. It felt so good, I just had this inhibition about kissing him afterwards.
Clark35
Not for me at all. I’m not sure why it’s so popular among not just gay men but people of all sexual orientations? I had it done once to me in my very early 20s by a guy I dated briefly and I found it gross, and it was even more gross when he wanted me to make out and French kiss him afterward so I didn’t do that.
I know men who got Hepatitis from it though, and some who got HPV from it. I’ve heard that getting HIV from it is very difficult unless the person’s ass is bleeding.
Men I know who really love to eat ass and rim told me how they use dental dams with random people, or people who they’re FWBs with but don’t use them with guys that they’re in a relationship with who have been tested.
I have heard from multiple medical professionals like doctors and nurses-even gay male doctors and nurses-that despite how gay men think that a man’s ass is clean if it’s douched and washed with soap and water it’s not clean.
scotshot
Only 5% of people properly wash their hands after using the toilet, 33% did not use soap, 10-20% did not wash at all. These figures are in all probability low as who’s going to say they don’t wash their hands.
What this translates to is the fact that almost every surface you touch each and everyday of your life is covered with $hit, germs microbes, etc.
I’m not saying that everyone should eat ass, but your daily life gives one pretty much the same exposure. Don’t forget your mouth is pretty much as full of creatures as your ass.
Calebspapi
It’s great to read comments from so many open minded individuals, who understand that even if they don’t like something, it is rude and immature to openly voice their disgust and shame – blame those that do enjoy it.
I’m sure they all apply this standard with heterosexuals thoughts on anything gay sex/anal related.
“Gays…The most tolerant and nonjudgmental people on the planet”. -said nobody
MMDD
@Calebspapi: Don’t assume the negative posters on this thread are all gay.
Giancarlo85
@scotshot: Great. Lets cite some statistics, make a poor correlation and start saying “well it’s just as bad”. Um, perhaps washing your own hands can clean germs?
Your daily life does not give you the same exposure. Cry me a river. That’s a total exaggeration.
Caleb, understand that people have a right to voice their distaste for something, and yes I am gay. Most gay men don’t do rimming.
MMDD
@Giancarlo85: “Most gay men don’t do rimming.”
Really? You actually know “most” of the gay men in the entire world and have actually asked them about that?
jwtraveler
@Calebspapi: I was just thinking about how to express the exact same sentiment. Thanks for saving me the effort.
Matt
@Mikah: You must have developed a taste for feces at a young age.
bottom250
I love rim jobs especially receiving them
Clark35
@TemptyK: Foreskin is clean, but an ass is not. Cut dick is disgusting with the scars and less sensitivity.
Clark35
@Calebspapi: If you like to rim don’t be surprised if you get an STD, or intestinal parasites. I know bi and gay men who did get sick from rimming, and this includes various types of hepatitis, and intestinal parasites.
“What I want to defend is the proposition that there is a whole body of experience within the existing promiscuity of faggots that (if accepted for the good that it is) is revolutionary …
“We need to be indiscriminate. No one should be denied love because they are old, ugly, fat, crippled, bruised, of the wrong race, color, creed, sex or country of origin. We need to copulate with anyone who requests our company; set aside all the false contraptions of being hard to get, unavailable—that is, costly on the capitalist market. We need to leave behind the whole mentality of measurement; it is a massive tool of social control. We all measure ourselves against some standard, find ourselves wanting, and feeling inferior, guilty, wrong, weak—in need of authority, direction, correction, ruling and enslavement.”
— Charley Shively, “Indiscriminate Promiscuity as an Act of Revolution”, Gay Sunshine/Fag Rag (Joint Issue, Summer 1974).
Giancarlo85
@MMDD: You don’t seem to have much mental power. Rimming is done by a few. That’s all.
MMDD
@Giancarlo85: Coming from you, that’s a huge compliment. Troll.
TemptyK
Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you might actually believe it. Foreskin is fucking abhorrent and I wouldn’t touch that thing with a 5000 mile pole, and my CUT dick functions very well. Aesthetically pleasing, and very functional. Could it be more sensitive if I still sported an anteater? Possibly, but I’m not betting on it. Either way, foreskin is nasty! Well, my “scar” doesn’t show, not that I would have minded because circ ring is damn sexy *wolf whistle*
Foreskin always has a smell. I know it does, and you’d never get rid of it because the skin is always brewing some nastiness under it. I mean, the asshole doesn’t create shit. It simply lets it out, so if someone washes and douches, you can be sure they’re still okay after 2 hours provided they don’t go to the toilet. And douching is bad as it washes off the mucous layer that lets things slide a bit easier. Not that I would lick anyone’s ass though! Cheese maker aka foreskin is fucking gross. It’s repugnant and heavily nauseating and smells like rotten eggs emulsified with cheap Gorgonzola cheese. There I’ve said it. Now, EAT ME!!!
Giancarlo85
@MMDD: You can’t prove anything otherwise. Shows how stupid you are. Enjoy the parasites.
Matt
If rimming were that popular, the gay community would be even more disease ridden than it already is. Smart people don’t rim or get rimmed. Think not only about yourself but the piggy that’s rimming you.
Clark35
@TemptyK: LMAO foreskin doesn’t smell, and it’s not dirty. FYI I’ve been around cut guys who had nasty smelling dicks, and they smelled worse than all the intact guys I’ve been with. Your dick may function well now but eventually you’ll go impotent or get ED as that’s what circumcision or male genital mutilation does, and your penis is far less sensitive than a cut dick is.
Clark35
@TemptyK: That’s nice you’re just a random internet troll that nobody wants to have sex with. The vast majority of men in the world are not cut, and even in North America the rate of male genital mutilation is greatly decreasing. You’re just simply angry that you had your dick mutilated without your consent, and have a disgusting scar, and your dick is dry.
Clark35
@Matt: Indeed. A lot of the gay men I know who rim or get rimmed have had an STD though, and my friends who were around before HIV/AIDS was known about said how back in the 70s and very early 80s lots of guys got sick from rimming. I remember when I was younger and I first heard of rimming I seriously thought it was a scat thing from a Dennis Cooper novel.
MMDD
@Matt: “…the gay community would be even more disease ridden than it already is.”
A horrifically homophobic statement, and even supported by others posters on here. It’s clear to me that this site has become nothing more than a breeding ground for anti-homosexual sex people who are looking for yet another instance to lash out at gay male sexuality and condemn those of us who actually enjoy it. In other words, it’s no different than any of the right-wing, homophobic, so-called “family values” sites who work against us every single day. You even go out of your way to belittle and degrade the male form. This place clearly attracts the lowest of the lowest Internet scum.
You people need to go rim yourself into oblivion. I can’t say go f*ck yourself because that would require for you to actually have something that you clearly do not.
I’m done. Good riddance.
Matt
@MMDD: Honey, spreading messages of good health is by no means homophobic. It’s taken so long for people to accept gays because of the filth in the community, and even now, there’s still not full acceptance because of the piggies. When you act like a dog that’s how people are going to treat you, and some people treat their dogs better than they would a gay man.
Rimming is scummy, it’s common sense. Would you put your tongue in your toilet after you or partner/open relationship person/hookup/friend/family took a dump?
TemptyK
Well, this is getting dumb but I too can do dumb.
Firstly, I got circumcised on my own. No parents involved, but they knew about it.
Secondly, my dick is as “dry” as my stomach skin.
And thirdly, I don’t care how many kids these days are left with an anteater, because most guys my generation are circumcised. That’s all I care about! The day you meet an uncircumcised guy will be day you know a penis isn’t meant to go in your mouth. You wouldn’t find me dead next to an uncut guy, also, someone that “nobody wants to have sex with” would never be picky as I am. I know my worth, and I always want to know from the get go if a guy is circumcised before I catch feelings!
I always roll my eyes so far back into my head when I hear some cheese maker pull the “sensitivity” because the only people who’ve proven this as a “fact” are intactinuts. Impotence isn’t caused by circumcision. I won’t even delve into that because I already feel ridiculous explaining myself to a stranger who I wouldn’t care if he woke up dead tomorrow. I don’t know which men you’ve been with, but where I’m from, cut men don’t stink and foreskin ALWAYS smells. I’ve argued with some guys about this and they too just came out with it. I should know because I voluntarily went for circumcision, so I know everything about the worlds of both cut and uncut.
Avery Alvarez
@TemptyK: Actually, I think you’ve made it quite clear that you are unhappy with your deformed dick.
TemptyK
Since when does deformed look better? I love my machine. LOL! Anteaters are gross. Ewww!!! Cheese makers. I think I’m gonna be sick!
Clark35
@TemptyK: Just because you mutilated your own dick does not mean anyone else wants to as the majority of men in the world are not cut, and have no plans on mutilating their penis by removing their foreskin.
Don’t worry, the majority of people here would not care if you a random internet troll woke up dead tomorrow.
TemptyK
You clearly don’t have anything to say other than “mutilation”, which you think is offensive because English is the only language you’re able to speak. Learn other languages and you’ll realize offense can only be taken, which I don’t. The vast majority of people are horrible in math and science; doesn’t mean I have to be. Quite frankly, I did (and still do) exceptionally well in them. Numbers, as far as the human population is concerned, mean absolutely nothing.
Since this has gone on forever in circles, I’m out of here and I’ll never change my stance on this. I’ll deactivate the notifications so I don’t get any more of this drivel. Peace! Have a nice life!
Daytona
My girlfriend (tgirl) goes absolutely crazy when I rim her. She has a beautiful starfish. She can have any guy she wants and yet she enjoys my skills enough to bi pass advances and slide over the edge of our bed and spread her legs for me. Spreading her cheeks with both hands, finger manipulation, breath and tongue application leaves her screaming. She usually cums during ass play. It makes her anus so sensitive penetration isn’t needed. It is thrilling to be able to give that much pleasure to someone I love.
BTW, she enjoys French kissing too. Sometimes alternately in combination with rimming.