Just look at the sorry state of the American educational system! Apparently, we have failed our children so miserably that they don’t even know what porn is.
When Texas A&M hosted a safe-sex seminar during national GLBT Health Awareness Week, a group of conservative college students had the brilliant idea of sneaking a hidden camera into the seminar to create their own bootleg version. They recorded an instructor explaining, in the most un-titillating and clinical of terms, how to safely penetrate a butt. Here it is:
That was apparently more than conservative student leader Justin Pullman could bear. “We had no idea there would be pornographic videos and new sex acts,” Pulliam said.
Oh Justin. Poor sweet cherubic Justin. Pornographic videos are videos that you masturbate to. Did you masturbate to the video of a lady doctor describing how to penetrate a man’s ass? That’s adorable. Keep doing that. We’re so glad you’ve found some “new sex acts” that make you happy.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
But at any rate, when you use the word “pornography,” we don’t think that word means what you think it means. Simply talking about sex or taking off one’s clothing does not a pornograph make. Unless, of course, you consider medical textbooks to be pornographic, and the act of taking a shower to be gross indecency.
And if you’re still confused, allow us to recommend you make an appointment with Jonathan Coopersmith. He’s a history professor at your very own university who’s been studying porn for years. We’re sure he can help you clear up your confusion.
egoiste
Did an Aggie write this story? Even the headline is misspelled.
greenluv1322
I just figured it out Conservatives conserve…their brains. Wow why are these people so fucking stupid?
Joetx
FYI – In TX, we have Aggie jokes. They’re the equivalent of blond/pollock jokes. In a state full of morons, they’re the cream of the crop.
Aggies also have bizarre “traditions,” especially the pseudomilitary Corps of Cadets. Google them & LYAO.
Finally, the A&M Student Senate voted to back an antigay measure proposed by a member of the Texas House (a Republican, of course!) that would require schools w/ LGBT resource centers to spend an equal amount on centers for so-called “traditional and family values.” In A&M’s case, they’d cut funding for their LGBT center in half & use it to fund their so-called “traditional and family values” center.
gregger
The running joke in Texas and across the South for A&M is,
“how dumb was the Aggie boy? He was so stupid that he stayed up three nights in a row studying for his urine test.”
What does anyone expect of that school? After all it is the home of GW (Dubya) Bush’s presidential library of coloring books.
CoCo
Oh my god. I went to high school with Justin and this is the greatest thing ever. He was in FFA so I’m not surprised he has no idea about sex.
ohplease
These may be “new sex acts” to Justin — who sounds like the most clueless person in the history of ever — but the rest of the world has been doing them since time began.
Not only does this college-age man not know what porn or anal sex is (so why is he even in college?), he thinks he’s accomplished something by “secretly” recording A PUBLIC EVENT. And he thinks it’s scandalous that college students should be taught how to have sex safely. There aren’t words to describe the depths of his idiocy.
I’ll say this for Justin, though: he has definitely found his calling. Being that stupid, he was born to be a conservative leader.
ohplease
I just watched the video that has Justin in it. That explains everything. Even if he lives to be a hundred, that poor boy will obviously die a virgin.
Joetx
@ gregger – The George H. W. Bush library is at A&M.
George W. Bush’s library is being built at SMU.
Cam
Is there anybody out there who DOESN’T think that that guy is a closet case?
I’m so bored of all these phony “Oh my goodness, how shocking!” Conservatives.
That guy is a young man in college. It is OBVIOUS he wanted to hear somebody talk about sex, and now he has to act shocked as the excuse for being there. (Eye Roll).
Kevin Farrell
“Remember, you’re seducing a potentially interested, but possibly reluctant butthole.”
plaintom
Justin: Good news , you have a job as the college liason for the Santorum 2012 Campaign. In order to familiarize yourself about this wonderful Republican just google Santorum. lol
Marvin_B
Once I heard that the library was named after GWB, everything else just seemed irrelevant.
Chelsea8
No Justin’s not a closet case, he looks like he just walked off a Teletubbie set. He has no genitals at all. Thank God.
rextrek
yea don’t worry Justin – You’ll be a Virgin a VERY LONG TIME!
gregger
@Joetx: Thank you, noted.
Jeffree
Poor, chaste Justin doesn’t realize that the str8 folkz have the buttseks too.
Just wait until he discovers that “Oral Roberts” wasn’t one of the 252 positions in the Kama Sutra.
Now I bring on my :-{ sadface because he’ll soon discover that “safesex” doesn’t ONLY involve padding one’s headboard & keeping one foot on the floor at all times…..
tap, tap, tap.
L-inAustin
@gregger: Innacurate. It is the home of the first King George H.W. Bush, President. SMU, Southern Methodist University was the loser to get dubya’s presidential library.
L-inAustin
I do admit I got my electrical engineering degree at Texas A&M and all of your comments about ignorance and lack of awareness are so true.
Some of that was me in many ways. When you grow up in a town of 150 people where the macho male (ignorant, mean and prejudiced) is the standard and you realize you like your male classmates and not the girls and have only the flamboyant classmate as a role model you stay the f*ck in the closet. Then A&M was the best engineering school in the state. And when all of the sudden I am living in a city of 45,000++ on campus I then began my journey of awakening while hiding so far in the closet I didn’t know it was a closet… then I slowly and finally gained awareness that big city kids get while in grade school. We didn’t have a LGBT center, we didn’t have anything gay except what was passed off as that odd flamboyant guy who likes to suck men’s dicks.
I understand Justin’s indoctrination of farm town macho male. Awareness has to find an opening in a completely trained bigoted, prejudiced and fearful mind developed by 18 years of religious, societal, familial, (whatever else)-ial h8ful abuse, thoughts, attacks and proclamations. I have empathy for his future journey that he will either choose to perpetuate the inbred state’s conservative dialog or wake up. It is his choice.
This is my hometown state where governor good hair, Perry (an A&M graduate), announced that all gays are welcome to leave this state and go somewhere else that is friendly and welcoming. I saw it live and never ever saw it on the news nor did a single person object to it.
FFA, Future Farmers of America, or is it Future Fags of America?
Personally, I am grateful that my first job took me to live in other countries and learn that most of the beliefs I adopted from my parents and authorities was bullshit. Now, I’m here in the only safe city in the state, Austin, wondering what happened to what I once believed was a kind, compassionate and neighbor-friendly state. I guess that’s what a few decades of republican leadership does to shape the minds of the children.
Raquin
May I just say that I just laughed my ass off at this story?! They’re watching the great Carol Queen’s video ‘Bend Over Boyfriend’ – only one of thee best resources for anal play education. It is technically ‘porn’, but coincidentally, I was in Porn class listening to Carol Queen lecture us while she played clips from this film yesterday. As a former peer sex educator on my campus, it bugs the shit out of me that people are still so ignorant about their sexual being and health, especially hetero guys. It’s just shocking to me how ignorant people really are.
I don’t think I have anything of merit to contribute to this board other than how much I respect Carol Queen. Also, please refrain from calling it boring when the only real resources gay dudes have in regards to sex education videos is ‘Bend Over Boyfriend’ and ‘The Expert Guide to Male Anal Sex’. Both are quite titillating if you get the chance to view them.
MattGMD
Hopefully Justin’s girlfriend will take a couple fingers to him soon. Otherwise he’s on his way to being another Ted Hagard. Yikes.
Dustin Stalohc
@Joetx: Not Quite true. I have two personal friends (one gay, one bi) who are members of student senate. The proposed funding cut did pass, but was only for half of the funding which was derived from student fees, not funding originating from endowments or otherwise. Anyway, as ass backwards as it sounds and is, the funding cut amounted to less than 10%.
Ironically, a lot of the concern about funding the GLBT resource center was their use of school funds to bring the NOH8 campaign to campus, which offended conservatives because it appeared to back a politically motivated group. Ironic, that is, because this student senate is notorious for a conservative wing which loves to raise topics/bills/propositions supporting or opposing bills passing through the Texas House and Senate, with no affect to campus policy. Simply stating a point of view of a majority of the student body for lobbying purposes. And Justin Pulliam is every bit the bigot and moron he appears.
Great resource center. Interesting gay culture. Love College station drag. Wow.
Brad Shannon
Texas A&M is considered THE school for science, engineering, and now business in the state. They are the top research school in the state with two campuses in the middle east. HOWEVER, they are GENERALLY more conservative than most schools. I went to SMU and the Aggie jokes make no sense. This school has more freshmen SAT scholars and valedictorians than Rice. A lot has changed in 40 years. I came out 8 years ago and my Aggie friends were cool with it. At UT they have confederate statues but clearly they are a more liberal school. Knocking the school is backwards and ignorant however. Peace out.