Holly Stuckey, a 12-year-old student at Maesteg Comprehensive School just northwest of Wales, died suddenly in her father’s arms after collapsing from a still unexplained medical trauma. Just prior to her death, her father Clive found notes Holly wrote about being tormented at school by classmates, whom claimed she was a lesbian.
A note written in pink biro read: ‘I hate you for what you have done to me. I feel like no one.’ Mr Stuckey has since given the names of 13 teenagers to police who are investigating his daughter’s death for the coroner. Holly, who was an only child, was described as innocent, quiet and timid by her grieving family. Her father said: ‘People made fun of her because she did not know much about sex education. ‘She was an innocent girl but kids turned on her and started to call her a lesbian because she didn’t know as much as them.’
[…] Holly, who lived in Maesteg, was an asthmatic but the problem was under control and not thought to be related. Mr Stuckey, who lives in Maesteg with his 47-year-old wife Lee, said: ‘We just don’t know but it could have been the emotional strain of what she was going through which brought on a heart attack. ’I have been contacted by several other parents who have told me that their children are being bullied. ’I want other parents to stand up for their children. I want to protect them.’
And while we may never know what caused Holly’s sudden death, unquestionably the torment she suffered through wasn’t improving her quality of life. The bullying alone is problematic; that kids continue to resort to calling kids queer as the ultimate of insults is even more devastating.
playasinmar
How could we “never know what caused Holly’s sudden death” ?
No autopsies in Wales?
REVEMUPMAN
She didn’t die off suicide from what I’m reading. So in my book she doesn’t add to the MALES who are DYING off from this bullying that’s happening. Women are already protected in this bum ol society. Please stop trying to make society sympathize with a lesbian who didn’t die off of suicidal conditions like the MALES who are dropping like flies by the second.
I’m sorry if I’m harsh but it seems like we either have to throw a woman or child in the mix in order to get some serious boo hooing.
I’m personally getting sick and tired of it.
wmcarpenter
@REVEMUPMAN: Wow. That’s some ignorant shit right there.
Also, aren’t the “MALES” in question mostly children?
malcanoid
Revemupman I appalled at what you are saying here.
Nevertheless, I wonder if this will will be reported on the BBC National News.
REVEMUPMAN
Bullshit, your appalled cause you’ve been programed to….
REVEMUPMAN
And for the 2 people who agree with my comment.
YOU GET IT!
Hyhybt
What does her being a girl instead of “MALE” matter?
Annie
Revemupman–bullshit. I’m a lesbian who tried three times to kill herself in high school after being tormented for years. Don’t fucking tell me we’re completely protected because it’s absolute bullshit.
REVEMUPMAN
@Hyhybt
It has everything to do with gender relations. The fact that society see’s males as the aggressor, the predator. This is why we don’t get fair treatment when it comes to bullying or even death. No one sympathizes with a mass of males dying as oppose to one single girl who died off of unknown causes. You tend to bring her into the mix when her story is not of suicide relations. In order for something to be taken seriously a woman or child has to die in the process.
I am the only one who speaks of it because I could give a fuck about being PC.
ewe
The state can begin expelling students from school for bullying which would force them to commute further. That would at least be a start in dealing with unruly kids protected by the law.
Hyhybt
Where have you been the past week or so? I’ve seen (almost) nothing but care, concern, and sympathy for the guys who have killed themselves recently. And until and unless we know what this girl died OF, we don’t know it wasn’t suicide. She did, at least, have the exact same motive.
REVEMUPMAN
@Anne
The exception proves the rule to be correct. Not a lot of lesbians are committing suicide at phenomenal rates.
Look at the statistics, who has the highest suicide rates? We live in a culture that demonizes male sexuality and anything related to masculinity.
Pygar
@Annie: Annie, while I don’t apologize for anyone please know that I find it sad that idiot asswipes come in all sexual orientations. I am also a gay suicide survivor. Glad we both came through stronger for it. Much love!
Fitz
It really doesn’t matter that this kid was or wasn’t a lesbian. Nor does it matter that she wasn’t a gay man. And, in fact, it doesn’t even matter so much that it probably wasn’t a suicide. The issue is both bullying and our ever-decreasing internal strength to cope with the bullying. Both are societal problems, and it is no surprise that the younger members of our society are having problems when they are both exposed to more vitriol and denied the supports that adult members have.
In other words: We have a big problem where our world is getting meaner, and our people are getting more vulnerable.
REVEMUPMAN
Funny that women make up way more of the population than males yet we are the ones dropping like flies when it comes to suicide?
REVEMUPMAN
“The issue is both bullying and our ever-decreasing internal strength to cope with the bullying”.
I’m pretty sure if anything this little girl only suffered from verbal bullying. Leave all the physical for the males to endure. We are the ones shoved into the lockers. Beat up, spit on, tires slashed. Even principals tell us we can’t wear this, yet woman can wear that.
This society stinks something horrible!
Fitz
@REVEMUPMAN: This society stinks something horrible!
I’m sorry that your painful experiences have blocked you from seeing other people’s suffering, but it’s become very tiresome to read your “men have it worse” posts. Racing for the title of biggest victim isn’t going to help. If you think society sucks so badly, work to fix it by fostering the only available antidote: be one more humanistic yourself.
Janet
She wasn’t a woman, she was a child. And I don’t care how she died, she has a family grieving for her. Before you go and say things like that, think about them for a minute. How dare you say one life is worth more to us than another, just because one is female, the other male? Everytime I visit this site, and I see another article about a child’s death, it gets to me. I don’t always respond, because I simply can’t find the right words for it. For such a horrible thing like this, there are no words. The reason I am responding now, is because of these hatefull comments you are posting.
REVEMUPMAN
No shit, did I ever refer to her as a child. And as for racing for the title of biggest victim. I think women have already claimed prize and are walking home with it now as a I type this!
Fitz
@REVEMUPMAN: You are a sad man. Explore becoming more of a hermit.
Hyhybt
@REVEMUPMAN: “Racing for the title” of anything would mean that the thing raced for is desirable. The only one around here who seems to *want* the title of “biggest victim” is you.
Open comment to Queerty itself: those buttons under each article really need work. I realize that it may well be something out of your control, but while it’s good and important that you continue to cover stories like this when they occur, it just feels WRONG to express appreciation for a story about a dead child with “more please.”
Mike L.
Revemupman is prove that gay men can be sexist too.
You’re a Disgusting sorry excuse for a human.
obiwan
This is a very sad story. I was bullied in grade school and Junior High. I am convinced that children learn their bullying from their parents and that adults who look on –even though they know that the bullying is unacceptable behavior– and use the excuse that “kids will be kids” are just as much to blame as the child bullies.
Hilarious
This is awful and further proof that the finger needs to be pointed at the school.
Where the hell were the teachers or other faculty? Why didn’t she have a safe place to go and tell someone what was happening at school?
Parents can’t be at the school at all hours of the day. Teachers need to pay attention and put a stop to this crap, write up the bullies, and then the principle needs to flat out suspend them.
Now a parent of an only child has to grieve and blame himself because the so-called adults at a school didn’t step up.
Cam
It is just so sad that the last days on earth for this child were filled with fear and torment.
thedarkchariot
@REVEMUPMAN:
Revemupman, I don’t think you see the situation as it is here. Stop the hypothetical. Stop thinking of it in sociological concepts of “society”, “males/men”, “females/women”, “sexuality”. I sort of hear what you are saying. I think your anger is probably at the sort of “pass” that lesbians get from society, that it’s perceptively easier for a (lipstick) lesbian than it is for a gay man. I actually agree with you on that idea, and it makes me angry too.
But, it’s not the time or place for that issue. A child has died today from homophobia. The mindset that many have – that ALL gay people (LGBTQI) are evil/wrong/bad/”funny” caused it, and that is what we should be focusing on. We need to unite.
missanthrope
REVEMUPMAN just can’t stand women getting one second of attention. He’s just a pathetic misogynist who hides his insecurities behind his hatred for women.
Cassandra
“Revemupman is prove that gay men can be sexist too.”
Only if you believe his story. Rev em up man is probably a child himself, probably a bully at school, who has gotten in trouble for his serious misogyny issues.
To return to reality:
http://www.teachersandfamilies.com/open/parent/ra1.cfm
“Acts of relational aggression are common among girls in American schools. These acts can include rumor spreading, secret-divulging, alliance-building, backstabbing, ignoring, excluding from social groups and activities, verbally insulting, and using hostile body language (i.e., eye-rolling and smirking). Other behaviors include making fun of someone’s clothes or appearance and bumping into someone on purpose. Many of these behaviors are quite common in girls’ friendships, but when they occur repeatedly to one particular victim, they constitute bullying.
Increasingly common is another form of harassment termed “cyber bullying”—using e-mail and websites to harm someone. Cyber bullies use personal websites and instant messaging to spread rumors about classmates over the Internet. Cyber bullies might also use classmates or “friend’s” PIN numbers and pass codes to send embarrassing e-mails. Sometimes it is easier to engage in cyberbullying than more direct acts because the bully never faces the victim. This form of harassment is also very fast–an instant message posted at night may spread through an entire school before the first class period.
Occasionally bullying by girls occurs between relative strangers. A new girl moves into the neighborhood or a classroom and is met by some or all of the types of behaviors described above. Perhaps the bully feels threatened by or jealous of the new student. At other times, the victim may be part of a particular friendship group and the other group members suddenly or gradually turn on her. Girls often serve a certain role within a friendship group — leader, follower, etc. If someone threatens the leader by suggesting ideas of her own or starts making overtures to another friendship group, the group may protest by making fun of her, ignoring her, and in general making her life miserable. It is this change – from good-natured teasing that indicates membership in a group to incessant negativity – that marks the line between a healthy relationship and a relationally aggressive one.
Relational aggression tends to be most intense and apparent among girls in fifth through eighth grade. This type of behavior often continues, although perhaps to a somewhat lesser degree, in high school. Although most common during the school day, relational aggression can occur in other settings such as the neighborhood or community activities. ”
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/violencebullying/a/girlbullies.htm
“The tactics used by girls who bully are distorted versions of some normal mechanisms of social development. According to research done by Lagerspetz, Bjorqvist and Peltonen at the University of Miami, when girls bully they use things like alienation, ostracism, deliberate and calculated random exclusions, and spreading of rumors to harass their peers.
Girls get other kids to gang up on one or more peers as a way of exerting control. Sometimes they incite other children to act out aggressively and sit back to watch the show. They form groups that pick and choose members at random and exclude others without real reason. They form alliances with other social groups in an effort to jockey for popularity and positions of power among peers. All too often the bullying tactics used by girls are brushed off as cruel but normal social interactions.”
“When girls bully it often goes unaddressed. Since adults don’t always label the tactics used by girls as bullying kids who fall victim don’t know where to turn for help. ”
“Girls Bully in Packs
Sadly, good kids who know better go along with these types of popularity power games for fear of being singled out and cast out of the group. Since adults often treat this exclusionary behavior as mere social clashing kids who are caught in the middle are afraid to stand up to the bully. It seems easier to do nothing than it does to do the right thing.
Kids who quietly go along with a bully add to the bully’s power by giving victims the illusion that the bully has peer support. The victim feels like everybody is against them, not just the bully. When adults do not address exclusionary behavior the same way they would address more traditionally forms of bullying it worsens the problem. Kids who know better feel powerless to do the right thing when adults don’t react.
Girls who bully will pick on boys as well as other girls. They act out as consistently as boys who bully and pick their targets in much the same way. While girls have been known to get violent when they bully it is much more common for them to use emotional tactics.”
Annie
@Pygar: Pygar, thank you. Life is amazing, glad we’re both here to see it 🙂
~R~
@Hyhybt: you, my dear, suffer from ‘poor me’ syndrome! Seriously. Have you ever witnessed girls bullying other girls? Trust me, it isn’t pretty. Sure, the boys can be brutal but SO CAN the girls. BULLYING is gender blind! Anyone can be a victim. Anyone can be an agressor. Just as you are bullying this girl (deceased) because she isn’t (a) a man and (b) a suicide.
Unless you have something important to add, it is best you refrain from adding your 2 cents, because honey, your 2 cents is completely worthless… say for the one or two losers buying into your “pity party” crap!
Good-night!
Billy
This is sad to hear. She deserved to be treated better.
ousslander
Whatever happened to teaching your kids to stand up to bullies and fighting back? It seems like each generation is getting mentally weaker and weaker with them being constantly coddled.
My sympoathies to her parents and all the other parents out there, who have suffered throug this.
Hyhybt
@~R~: I never did any such thing. Perhaps you clicked the wrong “@Reply” button?
~R~
@~R~: and my above comment is in fact directed at that revemupman character. I appologize for the misdirection. 🙁
Hyhybt
@~R~: Thanks very much for clearing that up!
Fitz
@ousslander: That method works better if your family is of the same group that you are. Queer kids are extra-isolated. And it works better when you have a fighting chance. And when society isn’t lauding the bully.
kenny
@REVEMUPMAN:
Human beings are HUMAN BEINGS whether male or female they are STILL human beings. All of this is devastating and tragic more and more kids everyday feel like their life is not worth living for due to some cowardly insecure kids picking on them trying to exploit those poor kids supposed weaknesses.
A female is just as good as a male is there is no difference there both human beings they both have a heart and a soul and they both bleed the same blood: red. People like you disgust me you have the nerve to make it seem as if this was some kind of publicity stunt just because it is a female instead of a male? Besides the fact that we do not know if this poor 13 year old was gay or not she was tormented and bullied by those cowardly little kids using labels that hurt that girl. Enough is enough the fact that so many of these bullies act as if the words lesbian or gay should hurt people is sick in and of itself.The LGBT community is special each and every member of it it doesnt make us better then anyone else but it does make us a human being just like every member of the heterosexual community.
Shame on you for making comments about this innocent girls life shame on you for making claims that they had to throw a female into the mix just because recently and sadly 4 or 5 teen boys have killed themselves.
All of these kids have something in common : they need help they need love and they need protection.Some of these comments really disappoint me I mean has our society truly become so desensitized to this kind of thing that it just doesnt matter to most people?RIP Holly yet another innocent life lost all of these kids should be living and breathing right now male or female they all deserve love and protection period.
Yal
Has Queerty made a post yet about the two lesbians who committed suicide together in the woods outside their hometown? I haven’t found a post.
Annie
Yal, when did this happen? I haven’t seen anything about this…
MaryAnn
Something very fishy here! There is more to this story than meets the eye so I’m hoping they do a full follow up when the investigations are complete. These “loving parents” didn’t have a clue that their only child was being harrassed? BS. Dad appears to be covering for Mom. This has nothing to do with parphilia or sexual deviants and everything to do with cover up. For those that have odd desires to have sexual relations with children, members of the same sex, objects, animals, unconsenting adults, etc.. there is therapy treatment available and you owe it to society to get help.
christy
Brings tears to my eyes. Especially the comment saying women are protected. No one is. How could someone say that?
Women straight, or lesbian are tormented everyday for how they look and often feel they aren’t worthy. THIS GIRL IS SO YOUNG and so beautiful makes me sad really sad that men, women, boys, girls of all races, all ages, are ridiculed. No one should feel like they do not belong. So sad. I can’t believe the comments u can read online these days. Part of the problem indeed.
~R~
@christy: You are right! Some of the comments on here show that ugliness does not discriminate.
taylorgang
i cant believe that something as simple as school could result in something like death or committing suicide. kids in school who are young and immature dont realize what their comments and remarks effect others. im in school right now and i know how people are. i get a litte name calling here and there but it’s more of a funny thing and mostly all i do is laugh. everyone in there life is going to get picked on because no one is perfect. also about the whole homo thing i could care less about it. i dont really give mind to it. if your gay you just are i dont have any problem with it but i dont support it. mostly because i am a christian but also because i cant control anyone. all im saying is that one day the world will hopefully get along and there wont be a reason for anyone to commit suicide.