Remember Mickey Weems, the homo-journo who professed his non-sensical love for The L-Word?

Sure, we gave him a bit of shit over that piece, but we still heart him like whoa. After reading his latest offering, we love him like whoa times two.

Just in time for Halloween (today, in case you didn't know), Weems gives Hell House, the Christian sin-themed haunted house, the ol' faggot make-over by suggesting a few sulfur-infused punishments for homo haters (and, of course, a few select homos) everywhere.

While they're all fairly clever, our personal favorite has got to be this particular damnation:

For Christian media whores who drive God-fearing homosexuals into ex-gay reparative therapy (I’m thinking Jerry Falwell, Ann Coulter and the late Reggie White), their hell would consist of being irresistibly attracted to Pope Benedict XVI, who would prance before them in a sexy hot-pink thong (body hair untrimmed) and red Prada shoes.

Ahhh! A hairy Benedict XVI in a thong? If that's not hell, we don't know what is…

(We must admit, however, that we object to Benedict getting to flit about in his Prada's. Give 'em Pay Less or nothing at all!)