Journalist hater Andrew Sullivan, who packs up his blog and moves it to various magazine brands every now and then, recently came into a bit of good fortune: the U.S. Attorney’s office helped get him off on a federal pot possession charge.
Facing a $125 fine (LOL) after getting caught with some weed on the Cape Cod shore in July, Sullivan found himself facing a federal misdemeanor, since the Cape Cod National Seashore is a national park, outside of Massachusetts’ jurisdiction where pot was decriminalized. And U. S. Magistrate Judge Robert B. Collings wanted to stick Sullivan with the rap, since plenty of other pot-busted savage criminals had to deal with the same inconvenience.
But Sullivan’s attorney didn’t want any crime, no matter how small, on Sullivan’s record. Because that could get in the way of the blogger’s citizenship application, of which he’s in the middle of. Bizarrely, the U.S. Attorney’s Office moved in to dismiss the charge, and when Judge Collings demanded to know why (’cause he wants all persons treated fairly under the law!), Assistant U. S. Attorney James F. Lang told him he had no business knowing their motivations. Well!
Given Collings had three other defendants facing the same charge that very day, you can imagine why he was in a grumpy mood, and opted to fire off an 11-page memo declaring his unhappiness with the U.S. Attorney.
So the pot-smoking Sullivan — who’s recently used his blog to slam the president on turning the right to get high into a punchline — gets off without anything on his record, though he will have to acknowledge to immigration officials that he was charged with a crime.
Say what you will about Sullivan unfairly escaping a spot on his record, but finally, for once, a gay gets special treatment under federal law. But because we live in an unfair world, the law lotto winner isn’t even American.