Joining the club with Nyle Dimarco, Miley Cyrus and thousands of other label-defying young people, the very adorable star of TV Land’s Younger, Nico Tortorella, has come out as “sexually fluid.”
“I’ve never been in any sort of closet … I was never really in the house,” the 27-year-old actor said during a Pride event with The Infatuation blog in New York City this week. “I think it’s one thing to hide … and it’s one thing to come out of the closet in a public statement.”
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“But I’ve always done me and never been shy …” he added, “and have been vocal about it.”
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Tortorella is currently dating a woman, but says he hasn’t shied away from his attractions towards men. “It’s just a fluidity,” he told Page Six. “We’re all kind of moving into this one situation.”
He’s also hip to the open relationship trend.
“I think that an open relationship or a polyamorous relationship or an understanding of sorts is acceptable in this day and age,” he told Cosmopolitan in January of this year. “Relationships and people are my hobby of sorts. I love exchanging energy with people and getting to know people and falling in and out of love.”
But, he says, cheating is another story entirely.
Related: “America’s Next Top Model” Hottie Comes Out As “Sexually Fluid”
“Cheating inherently is a terrible thing,” he expressed to Cosmo. “If you’re going behind the other person’s back and if there’s any type of malice, you’re a bad person, end of story.”
We’ve been saying the same thing for a while now — be honest with the people you love, even if it makes you uncomfortable. If they really love you back, they’re going to be understanding and compassionate!
We give Tortorella two big thumbs up for being man enough to speak so candidly and ditch the stigma.
Billy Budd
Ditch the girl and come to me, hot stud.
Brian
I don’t agree with Tortorella’s reported comments on open relationships. They show that he may be immature.
Doesn’t he realize that such arrangements are sleazy? They also may lead to rabid exploitation of women.
In a general sense, whenever men project their rampant sex drives onto women, it often leads to the exploitation of women. Women are often turned into prostitutes as they seek to match men in terms of promiscuity.
tricky ricky
sexually fluid: gobbles c*ck morning, noon and night, *ss like the Holland tunnel. why can’t these people just say they’re bi like in the old days giving their moms a bit of hope they might meet a nice girl and settle down.
SonOfKings
I really can’t stand the term “sexually fluid.” Bisexual is likely a more accurate description. We don’t call biracial people “racially fluid.”
Hu7w
In the past, the sexuality was a taboo or a sin, for this reason it’s important that nowadays people speak openly about sexuality and they also practice it freely.
As well, it’s very necessary that straight guys (or mostly straight) have this open attitude about the sexuality as the straight women have made for a long time. Thus, the straight community will be able to realize that their Community is sexually diverse.
Although I have to say that it’s not suitable to use the term “come out of the closet” for this cases. This is only suitable in the case of people that are really gay.
n900mixalot
@SonOfKings: lol exactly. The reason I don’t feel anything for the so-called “bi” struggle. They’re all opportunists who see people as sexual conquests. Gross.
Paco
His quote about treating relationships like a hobby didn’t sit right with me. Not sure I would enjoy my boyfriend referring to me as his “hobby”. I took it as he really doesn’t want to invest much in another person and wants an escape hatch the first moment he gets bored or times get tough. But then I wouldn’t expect anything less from the narcissist generation.
Pistolo
That comment about never having “been in the house” let alone a closet because he was just “doing me” makes him sound holier than thou. Being in the closet is something a person is subjected to by internalized homophobia and possibly out of concern for their safety, to have a choice in the matter is a luxury.
But, let’s get real, Nico invests a lot in his looks- he’s a model, actor, and there’s no way he works out under 20 hours a week (he also never wears a shirt). A lot of people are attracted to him and I’m sure that makes him feel sexy about himself, making it easier to bang them for the sake of hedonism. It’s just like Nyle Dimarco! When you’re like that, of course people are “hobbies”.
cabe
sexually fluid means “I’m 100% gay but not ready to admit it” Over the past 18 years, I have never ever met a guy who was truly bisexual. Never!! Women – yes. Guys-no.
crumb bum
@SonOfKings: It’s almost as if race is an imperfect analogy for sexuality. Hmm.
crumb bum
@n900mixalot: And you’re a bigot who can’t see past blatantly outrageous stereotypes. Gross.
crumb bum
@cabe: Huh. Maybe bi guys don’t hang around you because you’re a dick to them, not because they don’t exist.
crumb bum
@cabe: I mean, I for one just *love* spending time with guys who are trying to determine whether I’m “truly” bi.
gayhope1990
@Crum but:Bi-slut.Bisexuality is a myth.
crumb bum
@gayhope1990: Is your space bar broken?
gayhope1990
@Crum but:No breeder,bi slut bi hypocritical and liar.Bisexuals are just a lot of maniacs who can’t accept they’re gay.
crumb bum
@gayhope1990: So cogently put. Are you a speechwriter?
misterhollywood
I wonder in some ways if he’s gay baiting? So many of these young actors seem to be doing this. He did do a gay kiss a few years ago, which led to a lot of chit chat (we’ve got it on our site). I was unaware of the Cosmo comments – interesting. I do like him. He’s a decent actor and yes, adorable.
CaliKyle
Im not sure who is more annoying; the article’s writer or Tortorella. The actor did not “speak so candidly” as described by the article. Instead he spoke rather vaguely and indirectly about his sexuality, making sure to not to commit to anything other than his supposed attraction to women. When the topic switched to open relationships the writer stated that if someone truly loves you then he or she won’t balk at the prospect of “polyamory” but will receive it with understanding and compassion. That sounds like something a narcissist says to a partner who has no desire to be in an open relationship. The old “but if REALLY loved me then you’d go along with it” line of manipulative bs. Anyway, this meh looking actor boy has a long way to go from whatever his announcement was supposed to be before anyone could consider him as anything other than a straight guy who isn’t apoplectic at the thought of possibly being attracted to a guy.
scotshot
@Brian: Yes, a woman who has sex outside of a relationship, or more than one partner is a prostitute. Who is your role model, Rush Limbaugh?
smh
crumb bum
@scotshot: *Thank you*
SumSay
Never really even heard of this guy, but he’s attractive ¯\_(?)_/¯
Bisexual and sexually fluid mean the same thing fundamentally. It’s more or less a varying “degree of bisexuality”, if you will. “Racially fluid” doesn’t make any sense, that’s why we don’t word it that way. There’s no fluidity in the act of being a race because race isn’t an action. There are also other terms that biracial people prefer such as “mixed” or “multiracial” and “multicultural”. Does it also make people uncomfortable when they chose to use these words as opposed to the term biracial?
Ashke113
Sexually fluid?????: that’s the most asinine way of saying YOU’RE GAY YOU’RE QUEER YOU’RE A HOMO YOU’RE A FAIRY…….. this stupid ass trend of people trying to avoid labels. Doesn’t matter what you want to pretend to be you have a label dumbass……..
Brian
@Ashke113: You have no right to put a label on anybody, sweetheart. Keep your labels to yourself.
Brian
@cabe: Women fake their bisexuality just like they fake their overall sexuality. Theirs is not a genuine bisexuality in a general sense. They do it because they are rewarded for it by men. It’s prostitution.
The only genuine bisexuality exists in men as men cannot fake their arousal and overall sexuality in the way women can. However, bisexual men can and do hide their homosexual sides as women do not reward them for it.
Men also tend to have a biased bisexuality in that it tends to be weighted toward one sex.
Dave Downunder
Terms like sexually fluid or gender fluid are just the current young generations way of trying to differentiate themselves from past generations. Call it what you like but at the end of the day it just means your bisexual. Who cares how they want to label it?
onthemark
@Dave Downunder: Yeah, you can’t herd the cats. We had a very long-time Queerty poster here who several months ago was outraged, outraged, outraged, that young people are doing this and avoiding the word “bisexual.” He considered such “fluid” talk to be pandering to heterosexuals. (He particularly hated “heteroflexible.”) He demanded, demanded, demanded that young people stop doing this and declared they must revert to using “bisexual.”
Worse, he thought Queerty and other LGBT news sites were orchestrating some grand conspiracy simply by reporting on this phenomenon.
Then suddenly he disappeared. After YEARS of posting regularly here. I wonder what psychiatric institution he ended up in!
Dave Downunder
@onthemark: Yeah, I kind of figured out there are a few like that on here. I am starting to discover the idiosyncrasies of this site and its posters myself. If I hang around long enough I’ll probably see some disappear or simply re-emerge under a different profile name.
Regarding your posters outrage at all the “fluid” talk I guess I can see that for some, especially an older demographic who may feel that they fought hard for people to be able to safely come out as gay or bisexual, seeing a younger generation denying their gayness or bisexuality by creating new terms may feel like a betrayal.
I sometimes think a more united front would strengthen our community but the gay community is becoming more fractured as time passes. Even gay men are calling themselves bi or straight on dating apps these days. Add that to the sexually fluid emergence and it is starting to seem like being gay is becoming old news.
DDstar1me
Wow…..I love the show and I am as attracted to Nico. His statements don’t make him relationship material. But, it’s ok. Some guys are just sex pots. We need guys like him. They make us feel good when we just need to get off. Jesus I’ve never been more attracted to a white in my life. He’s so hot! hot! hot….!
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
Even after Orlando, you still have gay or bisexuals who are afraid of using “gay” or “bisexual”. I just don’t know.
mikhailmaui
Haters. That seems to be the majority of people who post on here. Why do we have to put ourselves into a box? Who made the rule? Yes, I am gay, not bi, not fluid etc., but I am also of that generation that we had to label ourselves. Yet, the younger generation does not want those constraints and I for one applaud them. I also do not want anyone telling me what constraints I should have in a relationship, that is between me and the person I am with. Open relationships work for some, not for others. Fluidity works for some, not for others. It is a different generation and they are entitled to use the word “fluid” if they so choose. It is not my right to tell them they must be “gay” or “bi” and those that I know who use this term are very open about sleeping with both sexes. Good for them. I have never thought they were “denying their gayness or bisexuality”, but embracing an entirely new attitude, one of freedom to do exactly what they want. So good for Nico. And good for him on his attitude towards cheating. We all need to live and let live and stop dictating that we need to “check a box”.
Paco
Sexually fluid is still a label. I do wish they would choose a different label though. It is too similar to “sexual fluids”. :p
crumb bum
@Brian: So, women don’t have anything better to do than please men, and they can’t possibly have identities independent of what men want?
Honey, you’re just a misogynist. A bitter, boring misogynist.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
When they say they’re “sexually fluid” people look at them and go “huh?”.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@crumb bum: Why doesn’t Queerty put a block button on this site? Queerty, is it that hard to program a block button?
rmarin776
Wow. Most of the commenters here are really out of touch with what’s happening among the younger generation in terms of sexuality and gender. They are less into binaries and more willing again to experiment flexibly with their desires. I don’t understand why that makes so many of you so angry.
gayhope1990
@rmarin:I’m 25 so I’m young but I have always felt gay since I was 11.Personally I think bisexuality or sexual fluid are nonsenses.The folks for a world without labels are self hated cases.There are only two sexualities:heterosexuality who makes up roughly 95% of the people and homosexuality who makes up roughly 5%.The trans issues are totally different and lgbt a joke.Only the gay issues are important for me,I don’t care about lesbians,trans or the so called bisexuals.
onthemark
People have the right to call themselves what they want! Try to stop them, you can’t. There’s also nothing magical about the terms “gay” and “bisexual.” Although they go back a ways, they’re neither definitive nor scientific.
@Dave Downunder: Agree. That seems like a good explanation. I told that poster he was being like a white person circa 1970 telling blacks that “N egro” was a perfectly good word so why did they want to call themselves something new? 🙂
He seemed pissed off at me for that remark, but maybe it made an impact (or it gave him a heart attack?) since he disappeared suddenly after that.
@rmarin776: ??? – I just re-read the comments & don’t see that “most” of the comments are angry. Only a few. Believe me, some of the geezers from only a year ago have given up on this one! As they should.
onthemark
@gayhope1990: Oh, I see you just disproved my last theory (that it’s only the older generation objecting to this).
We mostly hear about “old geezers” but I guess you are a “young geezer”!
Paco
@onthemark: “People have the right to call themselves what they want!”
Well yeah they do have that right. Just don’t expect others to validate your self-made label without anything backing it up. Maybe the guy really is “Sexually Fluid”, or maybe he is just gay baiting. I guess time will tell just how fluid he really is. He wouldn’t be the first “bisexual” I have heard about that never had any bisexual experiences and was only so in name only.
enlightenone
@Paco: 🙂
crumb bum
@gayhope1990: Such a triumph of empathy, this one.
I hope you one day are able to appreciate how embarrassing your comments are for you.
gayhope1990
@onthemark:You’re self delusioned.Labels are not a core matter but they represent our identities as gays or straights.As soon as you feel anything for a man or you wanna fuck another man you’re gay,period.
crumb bum
@gayhope1990: That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.
onthemark
@gayhope1990: Are you sure you were born in 1990? You sound like a lot of old queens I met in the bar back in 1980. “There ARE no bisexuals! They’re all gay!”
onthemark
@Paco: Try not to project your own personal experience onto all the other 7 billion people in the world. How do you know if someone is faking bisexuality (or whatever they want to call it)? Why do you care? How is that a threat to you?
gayhope1990
@onthemark:Yeah I was born in August 1990.Many gay people like me or my boyfriend don’t believe the so called bisexuals exist.It’s just a bunch of posers,of self delusioned freaks.They can’t admit they’re gays.They are ashamed to be gay.
ronald91
I can’t believe how much intolerance is in here, I mean if you are not agree with his lifestyle is your problem doesn’t sound that familiar?. I mean if u are attracted to men you shouldn’t be pressure to be one thing or judge the same if you are attracted to a woman, or another gender you are, nobody should choose for you. If you are a monogamous person or a polyamorous person but true to yourself and the person that you are with its ok. I’m not polyamorous but a don’t judge the polyamorous perks. Because I don’t know what it’s feels.
Captain Obvious
So now people would rather come out as a whore than gay? Jesus the world is really getting f’d up.
At least bisexual didn’t completely open the flood gates to “I’d sleep with anything as long as there’s a hole”.
Most of these so called fluid people actually choke up when the word gay is used around them or if they have to say it themselves. This all comes down to self hate and we allow it by supporting them.
If you can seize up at the mention of the word masculine or “straight acting” then supporting all this fluidity nonsense shouldn’t be in your cards either. At the end of the day these people just want to mitigate the “damage” of saying they’re attracted to men. They don’t want to be viewed as one of us so they ramble on with extra bullshi* just to deflect.
The fluidity angle is getting out of control. As many of us know a lot of young gay men have always claimed bisexuality to downplay their coming out and then later admit to being just gay. It’s unfair to actual bisexuals(hijacking their own personal situation) and it’s unfair to the rest of us(denying our situation).
Chris
@rmarin776: I don’t mind the terms. I mind that they are being imposed on me.
I fought hard to be gay and/or bi and I fought even harder to be treated equally/decently as a gay/bi man. So to have the term queer applied to me is yet another imposition on me and my identity; but this time, that label’s being imposed on me by people who (a) were never victims of smear the queer and (b) who assume a holier-than-thou attitude through the claim that they’re beyond binaries.
I’m very glad that Tortorella is into whoever has his attention at that time. And I am genuinely happy that he has the opportunity, which I never had but fought for, to experiment freely and to come into his own self. And he can call himself whatever he wants. Just don’t label me with those terms.
chakrakahn
‘Tortorella is currently dating a woman, but says he hasn’t shied away from his attractions towards men. ‘
That’s about it.
I’m making a sweeping generalization on this, yet it’s been my experience(and that of many friends) with bi or fluid folk is that they tend to always be with someone from the opposite sex when they make their claims. They want to be included in the LGBTQI community but don’t want to commit, and when shit hits the fan, they can easily melt back into the straight world and not have to deal with any consequences.
frankcar1965
@tricky ricky: They’re not Bi they are just queers that want to be hip. Any woman that goes along with this crap needs a shrink. I don’t believe this fluidity schlock, just come on out. I don’t believe anyone is Bi either, you can ACT Bi but you are not bisexual.
frankcar1965
@Brian: He can label anyone he wants, you tooty you, just like you can say you are fluid, but you’re really not, you are a full on gay boy.
frankcar1965
@gayhope1990: They hate it when you call them out, just big girls. He is probably so nelly it hurts.
frankcar1965
@mikhailmaui: You can call yourself Kubla Khan if you want it does not change the fact that you are GAY. It’s a free country after all.
frankcar1965
@gayhope1990: Thank you for that, I’m 50 and feel the same way. I resent being lumped into bi trans lez I am none of those and don’t feel anything more to them than I do to anyone. That has always bugged me.
frankcar1965
@ronald91: Not even close to being the same thing, if you are talking about straight society. The straights have done everything possible to harass and discriminate and even physically attack gays forever, and a good job they have done too. Nobody is doing that here, just calling out the hypocrisy.
Donston
Okay, this is a minor rant:
I am all for people self-identifying, but let’s be real: these vague terminologies are often just the new way for people to stay in the closet. You feel the burden of coming out off of you, but you don’t have to deal with being labeled a faag. There are a thousand real sexual orientations. It’s not that hard to find on what suits you. So many homosexual people (well, homo-men) can’t deal with how emasculating and definitive being gay is. So, they have sex with women and they have relationships with women in between their “gay lifestyle” to feel closer to being normal, to feel closer to not being branded a homo. They have sex and relationships with women to not only stay closeted but to boost their own egos and sense of masculinity. Nico’s language and the language of Erza Miller don’t sound like men who are genuinely attracted to more than one gender (BS like love is love and I’m open-minded and I enjoy people’s energy as if sexual orientations don’t exist). They sound like men who want the option of hetero-normalcy, who want the option of being with women and can’t stand the idea of being another gay dude in Hollywood. In the case of Erza he might just be a new age hipster hetero who doesn’t mind hooking up with guys, so he wants to jump on the “queer” bandwagon. But if you’re a “celebrity” and you’re gonna come out and use these vague terms, actually explain what it means to you and your actual orientation and attractions. Otherwise, it just sounds like empty nonsense, coming out without coming out, and despite what they try to convince themselves it’s another way of conforming and staying closeted.
BennyP
All these sexually fluid and bisexual guys are all BIG BOTTOMS , One got me to come to his house while his wife was our of town, He met me at the door wearing his wife gown and panties and had lipstick on . Yes I screwed him, more than once. later he started talking about me joining him and his wife in bed F**k that. I don’t talk to him anymore , let his old lady peg him , I don’t care
kent25
I don’t gave shit what he is, he’s very annoying for one thing.
These old nasty polyamory guys are so queer they are just not happy unless gay men find them pretty, then they feel like Cinderella at the ball lmfao