When once-languid kisses turn into robotic pecks, lonely lovers are left to lie around and ask, “Why?”
Well, one such lonely lover took matters into her own hands by requesting the wisdom of her local advice columnist, “Dear Annie.”
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“He does not like to be touched,” she writes to Hutch. “There is no cuddling. We don’t have sex. There is nothing.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Married for eight years, “Lonely” assures “Annie” that they had truckloads of sex before tying the knot.
But since saying “I do,” they don’t have any sort of physical connection. 🙁
I long for an intimate relationship. Whenever we had sex, it was because I initiated it or complained that we never had sex. It’s been eight months now and I just don’t have it in me to try anymore. And he obviously doesn’t miss it.”
Well, this “Annie” columnist doesn’t offer much in the way of advice, and decides to sadistically stoke the fires of the young woman’s anxieties instead.
Like an evil “best friend,” she offers an increasingly hysterical glut of “What if’s…?”
Does your husband have other redeeming qualities or does the lack of intimacy trump everything else? Has he had a physical checkup? It could be a hormonal imbalance like low testosterone, or erectile dysfunction. Is he asexual? Is he gay and using the marriage to stay in the closet? Is he depressed? Has he lost interest in you? Is he having an affair?
Is he a serial killer using her as a beard? Is he a spooky ghost only she can see? Is he screwing “Dear Annie”…?
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“Annie” suggests the beleaguered wife should confront her aloof buzzkill husband with her concerns, weirdly advising, “Don’t be coy…”
Ask him directly about each of these issues. You can offer to accompany him to his doctor to discuss it. You can insist that the two of you return to counseling to sort this out. But if he refuses to talk about the problem and will not seek treatment of any kind, your decision is whether you are better off with him or without him the way he is.
Perhaps she should sit him down and show him a copy of the “Dear Annie” column. That should get him going.
DarthKitsune
That Annie is a straight up messy bitch! I love it! I’m surprised that Annie didn’t suggest that the wife had traumatized the husband with her demands to have sex when he clearly didn’t want to.
broadshoulder
Maybe its just you Annie!
Brian
Maybe this young woman is an annoying harridan who bores the sh!t out of her husband.
In any case, women often use the “he’s gay” excuse to rationalize rejection of themselves. They cannot bear to think that a straight-identifying man is not interested in having sex with her and her awful personality.
Women fear the idea that a man can discern amongst women. It limits her ability – as an individual – to use sexual consent as a weapon to keep a male beholden to her.
This is also why women view male bisexuality as a threat. If a man can discern amongst men and not just women, it totally disempowers her.
CivicMinded
I agree with Annie. I like her straightforward way. I have been with too many men who refused to talk about their feelings and what was going on in the relationship. When they get distant if usually means they have found someone else. Kick him to the curb.
loren_1955
Having been on the other side of the fence for 27 years, i.e. married to a straight woman, fascinating that a lack of sex is the man’s issues. For myself, I tired of don’t touch me there, be more gentle, go faster, go slower, be quiet, don’t make those sounds. Let alone her fears of not wanting sex except for after dark in the bedroom behind locked closed doors. Then of course having 4 children, it was like having sex in a quart jar. There was a point I gave up, seemed like no matter what I did she could not be pleased. Then she started questioning my sexuality…dang, had we both known at the time.
scotshot
@Brian: Huh?….What?….Sorry you keep droning on and on and on and it puts me to sleep. Be careful or you’ll bore us to death.
Dave Downunder
Women use withholding sex as a punishment and to make their husbands do as the wives want all the time but if the man doesn’t want to have sex he must be gay. What a double standard. Probably a BS story ant way.