Comments on: ‘I have been in relationships with women. And men. That doesn’t make me gay. That doesn’t make me straight’ http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/ Free of an agenda. Except that gay one. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 16:11:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: jason http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-230571 jason Fri, 30 Oct 2009 10:46:00 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-230571 I would say that 90% of all self-described straight guys are actually bisexual in their orientation. I'd also say that 50% of all self-described gay guys are bisexual in orientation. Does it change our commitment to gay rights? Hell, no. Our enemies from Queen Victoria onwards have always sought to extinguish the male-male erotic interaction, a notion that we can fight together as gay, bi or straight. Does the notion of bisexuality in men play into the hands of conservatives who insist that being gay is a choice? No, I don't think so. Think of bisexuality as a set versatile orientation. It is just as set as exclusive homosexuality and exclusive heterosexuality. There is no choice involved. I would say that 90% of all self-described straight guys are actually bisexual in their orientation. I’d also say that 50% of all self-described gay guys are bisexual in orientation. Does it change our commitment to gay rights? Hell, no. Our enemies from Queen Victoria onwards have always sought to extinguish the male-male erotic interaction, a notion that we can fight together as gay, bi or straight.

Does the notion of bisexuality in men play into the hands of conservatives who insist that being gay is a choice? No, I don’t think so. Think of bisexuality as a set versatile orientation. It is just as set as exclusive homosexuality and exclusive heterosexuality. There is no choice involved.

]]> By: Tkip http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-230561 Tkip Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:39:04 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-230561 I tend to think that almost everyone on this planet has a preference for one of the genders. Sexuality is probably somewhat fluid for many but no one quite understands how this works. So some people probably naturally bi-sexual and do have attractions to both genders. But I think this represents a small segment fo the population. Most people are either sexually attracted to men or women. And I get kind of sick and tired of the genders bashing it other and announcing to the world that they hate women/men and would rather vomit than have sex with them. We get the point. Dan Savage has done this several times and I really think he owes a lot of the women reading his column an apology for trying to make them feel like freaks of nature because they're women and he gets nausous when thinking about their bodies. Gets really tiresome after a while. You have some buried bitterness for society making you have sex with the opposite gender? Get over it and stop vilifying the other gender. And if you as an individual cannot see and appreaciate the physical beauty of the opposite gender whitout resorting to using strong language to explain your discomfort, then I think you need to find out the root cause of your discomfort. I'm a straight guy and I can look at other men and appreciate when I see a good looking dude and admire his looks. I really think some gay people are terrified of admitting to admiring the beauty of the opposite gender because they're afraid of the backlash from within their community. I tend to think that almost everyone on this planet has a preference for one of the genders. Sexuality is probably somewhat fluid for many but no one quite understands how this works.

So some people probably naturally bi-sexual and do have attractions to both genders. But I think this represents a small segment fo the population.

Most people are either sexually attracted to men or women.
And I get kind of sick and tired of the genders bashing it other and announcing to the world that they hate women/men and would rather vomit than have sex with them.

We get the point.

Dan Savage has done this several times and I really think he owes a lot of the women reading his column an apology for trying to make them feel like freaks of nature because they’re women and he gets nausous when thinking about their bodies.

Gets really tiresome after a while.

You have some buried bitterness for society making you have sex with the opposite gender? Get over it and stop vilifying the other gender.

And if you as an individual cannot see and appreaciate the physical beauty of the opposite gender whitout resorting to using strong language to explain your discomfort, then I think you need to find out the root cause of your discomfort.

I’m a straight guy and I can look at other men and appreciate when I see a good looking dude and admire his looks.

I really think some gay people are terrified of admitting to admiring the beauty of the opposite gender because they’re afraid of the backlash from within their community.

]]> By: Zoe Brain http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-202641 Zoe Brain Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:38:05 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-202641 @<a href="http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201740" rel="nofollow">YCHTH</a> - Confused? Not at all. Confusing, yes. Especially Intersexed people. However, from your previous posts, you're just here to do "Beavis and Butthead Discover The Netz" impressions, I won't respond further. @YCHTH – Confused? Not at all. Confusing, yes. Especially Intersexed people.

However, from your previous posts, you’re just here to do “Beavis and Butthead Discover The Netz” impressions, I won’t respond further.

]]> By: Tommy http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-202171 Tommy Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:26:03 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-202171 @<a href="#comment-201728" rel="nofollow">Cam</a>: So what? Everyone has the right to come out and talk about their sexuality on their own terms and the way that makes them feel comfortable. The gay community is the only minority that is harder on its own members than the bigots. Why do we always turn on that anger on our own kind, and not the homophobes. I will never understand that. And it doesn't make the experience of actual bisexuals less valid. @Cam:

So what? Everyone has the right to come out and talk about their sexuality on their own terms and the way that makes them feel comfortable. The gay community is the only minority that is harder on its own members than the bigots. Why do we always turn on that anger on our own kind, and not the homophobes. I will never understand that.
And it doesn’t make the experience of actual bisexuals less valid.

]]> By: youcanthandlethetruth http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201740 youcanthandlethetruth Tue, 04 Aug 2009 18:41:14 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201740 Homosexual bisexual or transsexual all amounts to the same thing - CONFUSED Homosexual bisexual or transsexual all amounts to the same thing – CONFUSED

]]> By: Cam http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201728 Cam Tue, 04 Aug 2009 18:26:27 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201728 @<a href="#comment-201661" rel="nofollow">Tommy</a>: Your comment would be more meaningful if we didn't see 98% of gay men take the first step of coming out by first saying that they are "Bi". EVERY time they do people always say "Oh don't judge them! Sexuality is fuid!" and then 6 months or a year later they are fully out, fully gay, and laughing about once saying they were "bi". @Tommy: Your comment would be more meaningful if we didn’t see 98% of gay men take the first step of coming out by first saying that they are “Bi”. EVERY time they do people always say “Oh don’t judge them! Sexuality is fuid!” and then 6 months or a year later they are fully out, fully gay, and laughing about once saying they were “bi”.

]]> By: Tommy http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201661 Tommy Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:40:58 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201661 I see nothing wrong with what he said. Why does everyone have to choose one or the other and wear a label? He didn't say he was dating women and men at the same time and lying to his partners. It's not bisexuality that's the problem. It's pretending to be in a committed relationship and then lying and cheating with whatever gender. I think it's more important to be human than call oneself gay. I do identify as a gay man, but if someone else doesn't want to do that, I don't care. What is a bisexual lesbian? Sounds like a contradiction in terms. Honestly, sometimes the so-called gay community can be as judgmental about the complexity of love and relationships as the bigots we are fighting against. I see nothing wrong with what he said. Why does everyone have to choose one or the other and wear a label?
He didn’t say he was dating women and men at the same time and lying to his partners. It’s not bisexuality that’s the problem. It’s pretending to be in a committed relationship and then lying and cheating with whatever gender.
I think it’s more important to be human than call oneself gay.
I do identify as a gay man, but if someone else doesn’t want to do that, I don’t care.
What is a bisexual lesbian? Sounds like a contradiction in terms.
Honestly, sometimes the so-called gay community can be as judgmental about the complexity of love and relationships as the bigots we are fighting against.

]]> By: hyhybt http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201529 hyhybt Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:11:07 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201529 @<a href="#comment-201118" rel="nofollow">youcanthandlethetruth</a>: ...but enough about you :) Anyone else here never *heard* of Gerard Butler until now? @youcanthandlethetruth: …but enough about you :)

Anyone else here never *heard* of Gerard Butler until now?

]]> By: rudy http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201269 rudy Mon, 03 Aug 2009 21:33:31 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201269 @<a href="#comment-201029" rel="nofollow">merkin</a>: His press agent is making sure nobody thinks he's gay. http://www.nypost.com/seven/08022009/gossip/pagesix/gerard_butler_checks_out_babes_incognito_182613.htm @merkin:
His press agent is making sure nobody thinks he’s gay.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08.....182613.htm

]]> By: M Shane http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201146 M Shane Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:46:54 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201146 @Cam: It would be even worse going to bed with a dyke; they wouldn't like you to have to it with them just because they are lesbians , unless you are to (?) It's not impossible to get used to women if you let your imagination wander. @Cam:
It would be even worse going to bed with a dyke; they wouldn’t like you to have to it with them just because they are lesbians , unless you are to (?)

It’s not impossible to get used to women if you let your imagination wander.

]]> By: youcanthandlethetruth http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201118 youcanthandlethetruth Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:05:47 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201118 Gerard Butler is apparently some horny old dude who will wants to get his rocks off anyway he can. No doubt he could be just as happy with a goat or an inflatable vibrating doll just as long as he has an orgasm. Gerard Butler is apparently some horny old dude who will wants to get his rocks off anyway he can.

No doubt he could be just as happy with a goat or an inflatable vibrating doll just as long as he has an orgasm.

]]> By: Cam http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201111 Cam Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:00:45 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201111 @<a href="#comment-201094" rel="nofollow">TANK</a>: Um.....I wouldn't want to sleep with Ellen De Generous or Jodie Foster since they are women, that doesn't mean i'm not happy that they came out. Sheesh. @TANK: Um…..I wouldn’t want to sleep with Ellen De Generous or Jodie Foster since they are women, that doesn’t mean i’m not happy that they came out. Sheesh.

]]> By: TANK http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201094 TANK Mon, 03 Aug 2009 18:21:05 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201094 Honestly, who gives a fuck? It's not like any of you have a shot in a hell covered in the frozen tears of the devil. Honestly, who gives a fuck? It’s not like any of you have a shot in a hell covered in the frozen tears of the devil.

]]> By: sal(the original) http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201080 sal(the original) Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:52:49 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201080 whatttttt!!!!!!!!!!!praise the lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!(please dont be a hoax) whatttttt!!!!!!!!!!!praise the lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!(please dont be a hoax)

]]> By: Cam http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201040 Cam Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:46:31 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201040 @<a href="#comment-201029" rel="nofollow">merkin</a>: And I'm sorry but your screename is GREAT! lol @merkin:

And I’m sorry but your screename is GREAT! lol

]]> By: Cam http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201037 Cam Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:44:37 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201037 A lot of people use logic like that to claim bi-sexuality....what they don't say is that the "relationships" with women were all decades earlier in high school and that they haven't seen a vagina in years. As for Butler, if the article is real then good for him, it does seem to show taht much of the press, while they will ask a straight actor about every intimate detail of their lives won't touch any of that with a gay actor. A lot of people use logic like that to claim bi-sexuality….what they don’t say is that the “relationships” with women were all decades earlier in high school and that they haven’t seen a vagina in years.

As for Butler, if the article is real then good for him, it does seem to show taht much of the press, while they will ask a straight actor about every intimate detail of their lives won’t touch any of that with a gay actor.

]]> By: merkin http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201029 merkin Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:20:11 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201029 The interview is a fake. If you search around, you'll see it only appears in message boards. If its real, where and when was it printed? According to the "article," Butler had already been in Tomb Raider 2. By that point, he'd be too savvy to casually reveal he was bisexual and jeopardize his marketability. The interview is a fake. If you search around, you’ll see it only appears in message boards. If its real, where and when was it printed?

According to the “article,” Butler had already been in Tomb Raider 2. By that point, he’d be too savvy to casually reveal he was bisexual and jeopardize his marketability.

]]> By: M Shane http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201023 M Shane Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:14:06 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201023 That's just a very noncommital answer: by saying he's had relationships with men and with women, he's only saying at most that he's had sex or dated both. Even if he's had sex with both that doesn't imply a preferrance. He's decidedly skirted that . Many people can have sex with both but usualy prefer one or the other. If you asked him something more specific he might be forced to commit. I'm inclined to say that we need to believe those who claim to be bisexual, but I hve fornd many of those claims to be bogus e.g. I met someone who dated (bisexual) lesbians but was always looking to men for sex. The thing is that because heterosexual women who are sexualy realized are not about to let you play the field as gay men do (or did) . So as a male, you have to make a choice. or sneak around. I don't really think it's possible for anyone just to switch back and forth constantly. That’s just a very noncommital answer: by saying he’s had relationships with men and with women, he’s only saying at most that he’s had sex or dated both. Even if he’s had sex with both that doesn’t imply a preferrance. He’s decidedly skirted that . Many people can have sex with both but usualy prefer one or the other.
If you asked him something more specific he might be forced to commit.
I’m inclined to say that we need to believe those who claim to be bisexual, but I hve fornd many of those claims to be bogus e.g. I met someone who dated (bisexual) lesbians but was always looking to men for sex.
The thing is that because heterosexual women who are sexualy realized are not about to let you play the field as gay men do (or did) . So as a male, you have to make a choice. or sneak around. I don’t really think it’s possible for anyone just to switch back and forth constantly.

]]> By: lestic http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-201017 lestic Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:01:37 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-201017 My life just got a little bit better. My life just got a little bit better.

]]> By: Leo http://www.queerty.com/i-have-been-in-relationships-with-women-and-men-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-gay-that-doesn%e2%80%99t-make-me-straight-20090803/#comment-200996 Leo Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:16:18 +0000 http://www.queerty.com/?p=62725#comment-200996 It's GERARD Butler. You guys need a good editor. Where shall I send my résumé? It’s GERARD Butler. You guys need a good editor. Where shall I send my résumé?

]]>