As anyone who’s ever taken a marketing class can tell you, the quickest and cheapest way to sell a product is to get the attention of religious folks. And having Twitter to help spread the word faster than ever is nothing short of a gift from Baby Jesus.
Gay Star News reports that Tom Ford’s new product — a line of necklaces featuring penises in the shape of a crucifix — has gotten a slew of free publicity from people who believe the $790 charms (which naturally come in small, medium, and large sizes and are available in either gold or silver) are worth discussing (or shall we say, promoting) on social media.
“God will punish Tom Ford for making that necklace,” said one amateur salesperson on Twitter, while another coined the slogan “Just in time for Christmas, a way to say ‘screw Christ,’ the savior of the world.”
Not bad for guerrilla marketers working on a purely volunteer basis.
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A less succinct but nonetheless helpful plug said, “How dare you use a phallic symbol in the Christian cross! You insulting piece of trash! HOW DARE YOU!”
Even the leader of the Catholic League, who surely has a lot on his plate this holiday season, is doing his part to spread the word about Tom Ford’s penis necklace, calling the designer a “corporate bully” and reminding us of another of his triumphs: “When we learned of this item, I said to the staff that I bet this guy Tom Ford is a homosexual. I was right,” Bill Donahue is quoted as saying. “We should remember that this corporate bully tried to shove its secular agenda down our throats by punishing the New York City St. Patrick’s Day Parade for not allowing gays to march under their own banners in 2014.”
While Tom Ford hasn’t yet reached out to personally thank these people for helping him sell his necklaces, perhaps he will reward them by making even more of the alternative kinky gifts. Because as of this writing, the large penis pendants are currently sold out on his website.
In a world where there is so much hatred and ugliness, isn’t it nice to see people lending a hand to help others in the spirit of Christmas?
Ladbrook
I wonder if Jim Bob bought Mrs Duggar one for Christmas. She clearly loves Jesus – and dick. God knows she spreads her legs often enough.
Bad Ass Biker
Oooohhh, Ladbrook, you are BAD, but I love it. And of course what the idiots like Bill Donahue don’t realize is that by their stamping their little feet and having hissy fits over it, only helps Ford sell more of them.
jjose712
Ladbrook: Really good one, i’m still laughing
It’s incredible that Christians didn’t learn absolutely nothing of previous faliures like Madonna’s Like a prayer or Antonia Bird’s Priest (which is a big success in catholic countries in Europe after the church backlash)
ait10101
Dear me, and I always thought the Christian cross WAS a phallic symbol. Probably I read too much D.H. Lawrence.
jason smeds
Tom Ford is an idiot. He gives the gay community a bad name in my opinion. Has anyone noticed how ugly he looks? His eyes are squinty and hideous.
Oh, and he exploits women to make a buck.
Garrett
@jason smeds: OMG. Get some glasses you creepy troll. Ford is beautiful. And he doesn’t exploit anyone. He’s a fashion designer, not a pimp, you dipshit.
jason smeds
Tom Ford is ugly, sorry. He is not nice looking at all. He has this strange set of eyes. They’re almost like slits.
Ladbrook
@Garrett: Ignore him, Mr Garrett. Jason (AKA Marionpage and BJ McFrisky) is a self-loathing homosexual and graduate of Marcus Bachmann University (with honors). When he isn’t here attacking the LGBT community, he’s out raising money for Rick Santorum’s upcoming presidential campaign.
It’s the only santorum he’ll ever see in person.
jason smeds
Ladbrook,
But, darling, I thought I was supposed to be having breakfast with Marcus Bachmann….
Captain Obvious
Looks more like an upside down cross to me, balls are at the base of any penis, subconsciously you have to flip it upside down in your mind to see the penis(which is already spitting on the sacrifice of Jesus). More Satanism and an agenda against Christianity.
People claim atheism so often when they’re really harboring a Satanist agenda which is in fact a religion.
Trippy
@Captain Obvious: Somehow I find it hard to believe that Tom Ford is a Satanist.
fpcinnyc
“How dare you use a phallic symbol in the Christian cross! You insulting piece of trash! HOW DARE YOU!” Or as I like to say…
How dare you use a phallic symbol to depict a method of torture and murder.
I wonder if Jesus had been born into revolutionary France would the Christians all be wearing guillotines around their necks?
Blackceo
Tom Ford….DROOL!!!!!! Incredibly intelligent, sexy, and talented man.
callenstewart
Well, if anyone wants to pick one up for Christmas… http://www.tomford.com/accessories/jewelry-1/
ShowMeGuy
I’m more disgusted in that the little piece of jewelry is selling for 790 dollars.
NoCagada
@jason smeds: Evidently, you get underneath him while he lays the morning cable.
Saint Law
@Captain Obvious: “People claim atheism so often when they’re really harboring a Satanist agenda which is in fact a religion.”
You manage to combine a complete absence of imagination with total insanity.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: Lol at the man who is lucky he can get a blind hobo to piss on him announcing he would turn down Tom Ford.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: “He has a strange set of eyes. They’re almost like slits.”
That’s cause you’re looking at him through heavy hooded eyes, you creepy clammy old Gila monster you.
Brendan
It looks more like a T than a cross to me, and besides isn’t worshiping a cross idolatry anyway? Whether it’s a penis or a cross or a statue, if it’s not God that you are worshiping, then you are still breaking the same commandment.
Tracy Pope
@Captain Obvious: You remind me of the “MONSTER Energy Drinks are the work of SATAN” lady on YouTube. She’s kind of a lunatic.
@jason smeds: Once again you bring… Nothing. Your posts are mostly derogatory, always inflammatory, usually myopic, and generally homophobic.
@Brendan: Most Christian religions ignore that part, much like any other part they don’t like. The Catholic Bible has removed the graven images (idols) passage from the Ten Commandments altogether.
jason smeds
Oh, please, you couldn’t pay me to sleep with Tom Ford. His face has a pinched appearance about it. His mouth looks pursed. There’s also a strange shape to his ears in my opinion.
Ladbrook
@jason smeds: That’s convenient, because not even the deed to Ft Knox would be enough to convince Ford to sleep with you, I suspect.
charbo
it is s cross, not s crucifix.
druidkirk
It’s not a cross, really. It’s a fascinum, the ancient Roman symbol of the divine penis. It was worn by men for good luck. Quite innocent, really. If folks want to see this as a cross, that’s their problem. We Pagans know what it is.
DistingueTraces
It’s not especially new: all over the mediterranean men wear bull-penis necklaces, it’s very common.
Also, the pendant looks more like a Thors-hammer than a crucifix.
Geeker
I’m more angry that it’s ugly and way overpriced.