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Dubious Honor

Introducing The Douches Of The Year: The Republican Presidential Candidates

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This year set new standards for douchiness, so when the Queerty edit team sat down to award the coveted 2011 Douche of the Year award, we were confronted with an embarrassment of riches (or something that rhymes with riches).There was Timothy Dolan, Archbishop of New York, who took political ineptness to new heights during the marriage equality battle in New York State. There was Indiana state Rep. Phil Hinkle, who denied being gay even after he was caught advertising himself as a “sugga daddy” and paying an 18-year-old (male) $80 during an encounter at a motel. What about New Jersey high-school teacher Viki Knox, who wrote 36 pages of less-than-AP-English-quality rants against gay people on Facebook?

And then there’s the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer—just for being himself.

But sometimes the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

While almost all of the GOP presidential candidates could qualify as Douche of the Week individually, their collective douchiness is exponentially greater.

So we’ve made the Republican presidential front runners the joint winners of the inaugural Douche of the Year award.

 

Click through for a rundown of the Douche of the Year winners and why we picked them!

Images via DonkeyHotey

 

 

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  • 26 Comments
    • Tavdy79
      Tavdy79

      Needless to say both Huntsman and Johnson are so little regarded by Republican voters that, accounting for the margin of error in most polls, they might actually be running in the negative percentages.

      Actually, Johnson is so little regarded by Repug voters he’s running as a Libertarian. If he asks Huntsman to join him as his running-mate, the Repugs could find themselves the third party next November.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 6:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chuck
      Chuck

      Great summary. Are you listening GOProuders? As Newt said, if you care about gay rights, vote for Obama.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 6:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • QJ201
      QJ201

      No disagreement the (dis)honorees AT ALL.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 7:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      Editing would be nice, or at least use of a spellchecker. Douch is actually spelled douche and inaugeral is actually spelled inaugural, for example. Kthx.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 7:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ian
      Ian

      Should be interesting to see how the GOProud’ers defend this flock of GOP “presidential” candidates. Each is worse than the next.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 8:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David Ehrenstein
      David Ehrenstein

      A Confederacy of Douches.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 8:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andrew B.
      Andrew B.

      Gary Johnson could be the only candidate I would support enthusiastically. Yet another election where I the least horrible shithead.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 8:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeff4justice
      jeff4justice

      If we should not overlook Ron Paul’s possible racist and homophobic tendencies and associations, then should we also not overlook Obama’s acting as GWB’s 3rd term on indefinite detention, bailouts, corporate donation collections, environmental destruction, war expansion, and continuation of the drug war?

      So how about those alternative parties?

      Dec 29, 2011 at 9:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeff4justice
      jeff4justice

      While congress has the lowest approval rating in history and as half of the nation is now poor, if now is not the time for alternative parties then we Americans deserve the hell we vote (or not vote) ourselves into.

      I wish the Tea Party & Occupy energy could be turned to the advancement of alternative parties.

      The media blackout (including from LGBT media) does not help.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 9:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • max
      max

      The GOP is the party of hate and evil. If that’s what people want then that sure says alot about people.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 9:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sceth
      Sceth

      I don’t mind a racist president. I don’t mind a homophobic president. I do, however, mind a president whose legislative positions harm the populace, and for that I’ll take Ron Paul over Obama any day. “Too poor and sick to celebrate?” If your health depends on the government, good luck in that waiting line.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 10:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim
      Jim

      @Ian: That sounds like an M.C. Escher painting.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 11:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Darren
      Darren

      Ron Paul = Anti-War, Cut Military spending, non-interventionist.

      Obama and all the other GOP warmonger candidates = Pro-War, Increase Military spending, Start a new War against Iran as soon as possible.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 12:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james_from_cambridge
      james_from_cambridge

      @Sceth: “I don’t mind a racist president. I don’t mind a homophobic president…”

      Of course you don’t. You’re a privileged white male who thinks his race and money will protect him from his fellow anti-gay Republican Nazis. You’re a naive fool. And if you really want to live in a Libertarian paradise, try Somalia, a country with no Federal government that’s run by a small cadre of elites. Libertarianism is really working wonderfully over there. Neither Ron Paul nor any other Libertarian will EVER be elected President of the U.S of A and deep down inside you know it, because while Americans may be greedy and selfish, they’re not retarded enough to elect someone who will completely destroy the welfare State. The one thing Americans trust less than the Feds is corporations and we know with an emasculated Federal govt., we would be completely at their mercy. And that is simply unacceptable to the vast majority of us. Deal with it Paultard!

      Dec 30, 2011 at 12:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • WillBFair
      WillBFair

      @David Ehrenstein: You had to go literary.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 12:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Storm
      Storm

      I reject discrimination against privileged white males. I am one, I’m pretty sure, but there’s not a republican candidate on any ballot – national, state, or local – that will ever get my vote. Particularly none in this year’s moron circus. Obama hasn’t been perfect, by any means, but then he wasn’t my choice for the democratic nomination. Still, he’s been far better on gay rights issues than all the previous presidents put together, and we’ve made more progress on a wide variety of fronts. I’ll give him another four years, and probably a check, too.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 1:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • doug105
      doug105

      @Sceth: you mean Mr.let the poor sick people die?

      Dec 30, 2011 at 1:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Red Meat
      Red Meat

      When will people realize that our debt is not everything the media and republicans have sharpened up to be? We have been above 10trillion for more THAN A DECADE, no one really cared, or triple A credit was honkydory at 12 trillion for 9 years then everything gets politicized and then everyone starts crying out their vagina’s.

      Ron Paul won’t change anything, his running platform to pretty much hold the executive branch hostage.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 2:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chuck
      Chuck

      @Sceth: Roy Cohn is that you?

      Dec 30, 2011 at 7:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville

      @Josh: Well, it appears that Queerty has corrected the errors you pointed out — alas, they failed to use the strike through ….

      Nonetheless, even with your urging for grammar/spell checking, they, with hysterical irony, didn’t bother checking other errors, so it is still their “we don’t know how to ‘edit’ team” making the decisions instead of their editorial team.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 10:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville
      Mike in Asheville

      @Chuck: Very droll — well done.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 10:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Big Mac
      Big Mac

      The real story here is that no one seems to acknowledge, even after 3 years in office, that our current president is STILL less qualified than most of the Republican candidates. Give me a Romney or a Huntsman over Brocko Bomber any day.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 11:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scribe31
      scribe31

      @Sceth: i guess as a gay black dude I should just leave this country if mr. paul gets in office. screw him and repectfully screw you!

      Dec 30, 2011 at 3:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sceth
      Sceth

      @james_from_cambridge: “You’re a privileged white male…”

      Wrong.

      And I’m actually a moderate, darling. I disagree with Ron Paul on the education department, which I think should be stronger than it is, but would love to see the FDA and the minimum wage gone, y’know, because they hinder technological progress and provide little in return. And whether Obamacare is sustainable (it’s not) isn’t open to opinion. I volunteered for Obama in 2008, btw. But if Paul becomes feasible I’m jumping ship. I’m not going to assume as much about you as you have of me, but your post betrays either a failure of information or of thought, alongside unprovoked vitriol.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 5:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      Queerty, you’ve outdone yourself this time! Definitely agree with your choices for this dishonorable award. Happy New Queer’s!

      Dec 30, 2011 at 11:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Marco
      Marco

      @Sceth:

      Obamacares actually decreases the government. If we had a single payer system, health care costs would decrease because much of health care costs today are wasted on administrative costs (like huge executive salaries & bonuses).

      That said, Obama has continued Bushes war policies but shrouded them in secrecy while ramping up attacks on civil liberties.

      But, hey, Obama is the lesser of evils. We know that the GOP candidates are all corrupt and willing to crush gay rights and totally sellout the middle and working classes.

      Dec 31, 2011 at 11:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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