Today’s Page Six brings us the strange, lurid tale of a budding bromance between abstinent Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow and wangsta ex-Limp Bizkit front man Fred Durst.
Says Page Six:
The two dined at Craig’s restaurant in West Hollywood on Wednesday night. A source said the unlikely friends met while Tebow was a star quarterback at the University of Florida: “Fred has been a fan of Tim’s since he played at Florida. Fred is from Florida and used to go watch Tim play. They stayed in contact and ran into each other at the ESPY Awards a few years ago.”
In WeHo? That’s pretty gay. And, as previously noted, the Internet has confirmed that Tim Tebow is the proud owner of gay hands and gay lisp.
So, naturally, we conjecture: did the 24-year-old Tebow fall in love with the 42-year-old Durst while Durst was worshiping him from the bleachers in Florida, only to share a furtive backstage kiss at the ESPY Awards—Tebow tearing away from Durst, whispering a “I can’t do this” as he runs off to his beard.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Flash forward to a hypothetical today, and Fred has finally popped the question to Tim at Craig’s.
“We can do it in Washington or Maryland—it’s legal there now, too,” smiles Fred.
“You know my answer, Fred,” says Tim with a smile. “And I’ve always wanted to have a Seattle wedding.”
And scene.
Photos via Wikipedia, Steven Howard; Bromantic Photo-Illustration by Evan Mulvihill
Meowzer
Betting Fred is the total top and Tim is the queeny bottom.
curt
FRED DURST??!!!??!
didn’t he die in a grease fire or something??
JB
Wait a minute!! I thought Tim and Jeremy Lin were an item
Tangelo
I bet Fred is an aggressive bottom and Tim a sensitive top who like watching himself in a mirror.
😛
derek
Fred Durst is 42!!! Tim is only 24
William
“Tebow tearing away from Durst, whispering a “I can’t do this” as he runs off to his beard.”
This just killed me.
EmmaMTF
Lawd knows that a low IQ and terrible taste in music go hand in hand. Limp Bizkit is trailer trash shit perfect for a fundamentalist Christian football jock.
hf2hvit
But Saddlebacking is OK because you don’t lose your virginity
Gauthier
Sorry, but am I the only one who thinks that sleazy forty-ish douchebag Durst getting it on with young, dumb and innocent Tebow is really, REALLY hot? Funny and witty article btw. I actually really hope this is fact and not fiction, teehee.
Oh, ok.
This reminds me of Tom Cruise and Zach Efron, but less Hollyweird, and more backwoods Virginia.
jarvisbearcub
@curt:
Actually, I think you meant that he SHOULD have died in a grease fire.
Jim Hlavac
So, limp wristed, lisping momma’s boy who grew up without a father and hangs out with men all the time and avoids women since he is chaste and decent has romantic dinner with older dude in West Hollywood eatery named “Craig’s.” Hmm. No, not a clue there of anything. Or, either Mr. Tebow and his man are very gay friendly or gay itself. I find it hard to believe they just happened upon a restaurant in that town because they were in “Los Angeles.” And allowed themselves to be seen there together, too. It’s a big conglomeration of a city, and WeHo is a pinprick on the map. Somehow this looks like ducks, and quacks like some, too.
travis
I don’t know if Tim Tebow is gay or not but if his “seeing” Fred Durst???? EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
todd
Can’t we please fake believe Tebow is tebowing somebody else? David Gandy, Brady, fuck I’ll even take Gisselle from hell at this point. But, Durst bag? Now I’ll have to find a new seudo celebrity to stalk. And I’ll never kiss Tebow again!
Price Waterhouse
I’ve always thought Durst was sexy. He can introduce Tebow to the ways of the flesh.
Oh, ok.
After watching Tebow lisp her way through that Youtube video I no longer believe she’s straight. I never paid any attention to her, never cared about her, and never got her fame. But damn if she’s not playing for the pink team.
@Jim Hlavac: Actually celebrities literally hang out in WeHo(and plenty live here too) every weekend. It’s rather mixed and full of straight yuppies. It’s not nearly as gay as television would lead you to believe, though it has a large gay presence.
If they were caught together on the weekend I’d raise and eyebrow but a casual weekday is something plenty of us do around here.
That said I agree with you that Tebow is definitely gay. That youtube video was all the proof I need. Homegirl needs some speech lessons and whatever butch classes they sent Ricky, Justin(Timberlake), and Efron to. Maybe he can be paired up with Lautner since they both have the exact same tells.
I love this town. So gay, but so “straight”.
stevoj
@William: my favorite line hands down. that imagery was so ridiculous that i actually want to believe it
Ben
i think Tim might be closeted…just saying…
GOD (gay old dude)
So funny that you guys think it’s an insult to label a public figure as gay. “I hate him, so he must be gay.” “He’s religious, so he must be gay.” “I can’t have him for myself, so he MUST be gay.”
Guess I’m the only one who thinks it’s wrong to project such love-hate on another human being just because . . . he’s religious? Because he hasn’t rushed out to shoot an “It Gets Better” video? Petty, and sad (not to mention very telling).
christopher di spirito
Tim Tebow just signed with a talent agency in Los Angeles. I thought this was strange. I mean, Tebow tells anyone who interviews him that his off season time, he volunteers to help disadvantaged and sick children. Now, he’s suddenly an LA guy, with representation and eating dinner in WeHo? What happened to going to the Philippines with his Christian mommy to deliver Bibles?
christopher di spirito
@Oh, ok.: Hardly. Cruise is a Scientologist and his duty is to try and recruit fresh sources of income for the Xenus. Scientologists are required to tithe 10% of their income to the church. This is why Cruise aggressively tried to recruit David Beckham and Oprah — neither of whom joined up.
Matthew Rettenmund
Any time you get the urge to swoon over Tim Tebow, remind yourself he is Rick Santorum with a nice everything and that should make it less urgent.
shannon
DURST MADE A SEX VIDEO YEARS BACK…I VIEWED IT AND WAS FLOORED AT HOW TINY….AND SMALL HIS DICK WAS!! ——-I WAS TINY!!——-I MEAN IF TEBOW BOTTOMS…HE WILL NOT FEEL A DAMN THING!!
Some Random Guy
@shannon: Isn’t that how Limp Bizkit got their name?
Blahqula
Poor Fred, being stuck with the daddy role to Tebow. A kid living the bovine dream of hetero xtian money, straight from freaky Florida is going to have needs. Seriously disgusting ones, like Durst is going to have to put up with coprophilia, or get something amputated or some such, just to keep the freaky Florida Flower interested.
This guy leads huffing manflesh into battle, lovingly patting asses and damning them to hell if they slip and say “Jesus is great as the 12th man, with you as his prophet, Tim. Does he like my hair?”. The ego it takes to be a public evangelical feeds on the filthiest of urges, maybe Durst might want to include clauses against child sacrifice and such like in the pre-nup.
tebow football news
I really hope that Tebow saves himself for a Godly woman. These “hollywood” girls are so insecure and twisted inside its a shame. You didn’t wait this long to have a 5 min marriage that ends in a divorce Tebow. Please don’t fall for their outward beauty and find a girl who is beautiful on the inside.
tebow football news
tebow please marry a real woman and not these hollywood girls
pscheck2
+Poor Tim! He needs a good PR team who can supply him with a worthy ‘beard.’ Other NFL players have had successful relationships with ‘beards’, actually some even marrying them and having babies! BTW: I really like the guy and I think he has been blackballed by the NFL because of their suspicions!