On November 1st, the Bi Social Network wants all you bisexuals out there (we know you exist) to make an “I Am Visible” video to help raise awareness of bi-phobia and bi-erasure in the LGBT, media, and entertainment communities. So, is this basically “It Gets Better” for bis? Not exactly.
As we’ve said in the past, most Americans aren’t sure how to “code” bisexuality. That is, bisexuality lacks the same, easy-to-read stereotypes like gay lisping or butch motorcycling. So for bisexuals who want to be out and proud—but aren’t sure how—or folks who want to learn more about the bisexual experience, the campaign seeks to educate, not just to reassure them.
Plus, the campaign so far features handicapped folks like a deaf woman communicating via sign language and the wheelchair woman in the video above. Since the gay and lesbian community tends to overlook our handicapped brothers and sisters, we welcome any campaign that brings them to the forefront as long overdue.
JK
I know it’s an American thing, but “handicapped” is such an awful word! Derived literally from “cap in hand” it epitomises the supposed helplessness and neediness of Disabled people (capital D deliberate and denoting political identity). I know that some Americans have made moves to counter this (like “handicapable”) and even here, in the UK, many people use “differently abled” rather than disabled because they don’t want to be defined by something (i.e. their disability/ies). Nevertheless if the LGBT people were called “People of Sexualities” or something comparably bland I have no doubt that we would be at least 50 years further away from same-sex marriage than we already are. As a gay person with a disability, who politically identifies as Queer and Disabled, can I suggest this site moves away from handicapped as a form of positive action?
calvin
“bisexuals who want to be out and proud” = oxymoron
Juhnuppi
Me thinks bis’ are the least protected species.
If u are male and into males, ok. But if u into both: how to react?
I am male and gay, I just like to think
jason
Most of the men who have a fetish for girl-girl action are quite anti-gay in the broad sense. They don’t believe in gay rights and think that two men together is disgusting. Their interest in bisexual women is based on voyeurism and a sense of entitlement.
Most bisexual women are fakes who use their sexuality to appeal to the sleazy straight guy fantasy for girl-girl action. Therefore, it’s safe to say that most bisexual women actually support homophobia in an indirect sense.
As for the bisexual women who are flattered by the attention given to them by straight guys, all I can say is that you are severely deluded. You’re handicapped, basically.
Juhnuppi
Wow, how many comments!
And Jason, what about Bi-sexual men?
the crustybastard
@Juhnuppi:
Please don’t provoke the crazies.
tallest
Ugh boring… “I’m sad cuz people think I’m straight.” So over it. Also as a handicapped person I don’t really see a problem with “handicap”. But I definitely have a problem with “wheelchair woman”. wtf is that shit?
Carl
Calvin, I’m openly bisexual and damn proud of it! I knew at 14 and pretended to be straight until I was 18, then I started to tell people and they reacted badly so I went the other way and lived as a gay man, because it was easier for them and me. I lived that second lie for almost a decade. Eventually I came to realise that what others think doesn’t matter, my Natural Bisexuality is MY sexuality and anyone who has issues with it can take a long walk off a short pier.
Carl
Oh and yeah, I’ll be making a video for this!
Cinesnatch
I would like commenter Jason to say what he just said to my friend who is bisexual. She’d knock you into next week if you hadn’t already injured your clueless brain anymore than it already has been. And, tallest, my friend does feel marginalized in the gay community and she isn’t the type to complain about frivolous things.
The wheelchair woman had me in stitches.
And the first video’s date placard had the year as 2010, not 2011.
Lastly, Carl is awesome.
Max the Communist
@calvin and Jason–Wow. Bisexuals put up their own videos, on their own website, to express themselves the way they want to and STILL you can’t let go of your hackneyed, bitter, bigoted points of view. Why don’t you two go have tea with Michelle and Marcus Bachmann? You all really belong in the same club.
tallest
She shouldn’t feel marginalized if she isn’t whining about stupid shit.
I’m all for bi’s who aren’t frivolous and annoying. More power to your friend.
“Wheelchair woman” is a highly offensive term. ffs she is a woman in a wheelchair. The wheelchair is a tool not her defining attribute.
Fitz
I don’t know any older Bi’s. I know plenty old fags and dykes, and
even more old hettys, but I don’t think I know of a single old Bi.
Doesn’t mean anything on it’s own– just an observation. Makes me wonder if Bi’s are
prone to “choosing a side” because of group pressure, desire to have a partner,
or if I am just living in a non-Bi ghetto.
Carl
@Cinesnatch: First thanks – and your friend isn’t the only one, I encounter similar prejudices a lot. I’ve made a point to help out at my local gay pride, as photographer and helping to run the bisexual stall. Things like that to help make our community a little more visible.
Mark
The San Francisco Human Rights Commission, LGBT Advisory Committee recently released a bisexual invisibility report. It’s a must read.
skzip888
I mistook a Bisexual friend of mine for straight, he did not like that.
Cinesnatch
@tallest: No, her humorous and unchained personality was the defining attribute, or else I wouldn’t have commented.
Nice Sean
@calvin: Not cool. I have a bi pride T-shirt, and go to pride with whoever I may currently be dating/sleeping with.
iDavid
@Jason
Got some solid stats on that bro? I’d go
w “some” but not “most”.
jason
Cinesnatch,
I don’t give a rat’s what your friend thinks about me. I’m a very tough person with a hide like a rhinoceros. I don’t recoil from stating opinions based on facts.
I am fed up with women exploiting double standards in order to get preferential treatment. Absolutely fed up with it. You see this in how women exploit the clothing double standard and the bisexual double standard.
I think an alert needs to go out to all men regardless of their sexual orientation. Women need to be told that, if they wish to have equal rights, they need to play by the same rules. It’s as simple as that.
And if that grates on you, tough titties to you.
Cinesnatch
@jason: You don’t grate on me. But your anger on this matter is confusing. Sounds like your basing your opinion on media cliques.
ChrisC
Oh Jason, even though you’re annoying as fuck, Queerty wouldn’t be Queerty without you…lol.
Carl
@jason: You’re confusing attention whores with bisexuals: some straight women who would never, ever date – let alone sleep with – another woman will happily kiss them to get the attention of straight men. The actions of those few attention seekers should not be used to disparage those of us who ARE bisexual.
And seriously, you seem to have some pretty major issues with women in general, have you considered counselling?
iDavid
@Jason
U are irrational based in anger. Your theories are senseless muddied by your obvious general hate for women. Therefore I can not take you seriously. Get help man, life will b better for you then.
j
@jason: Get laid get laid get laid get laid get laid get laid get laid. Get laid.
Fitz
@j: And how the heck do you expect THAT to happen?
Ok, show of hands.. which of us wants to fuck a misogynistic, racist, sexaphobe?
There’s no pics here, but my guess is 50-75 lbs overweight, and semi employed.
darkskin bttms R survivors
@Fitz: I hear you.. I don’t know but a few BI people, a couple of women who are married to men but have side girlfriends and a few “DL dudes” who “creep” at night with out gay men.. I think “I Am Visible” is a good idea so gay men like me can learn about our BIsexual brothers and sisters.
Carl
@darkskin bttms R survivors: All you really have to do is ask around – most Pride events have a bisexual stand/stall (I helped to run the one at Sheffield Pride this year). There’s a big difference between “DL dudes” (who are usually deeply closeted guys who married for various reasons like social opinion and so on) and bisexuals – although I won’t say this is a universal truth, just a common one.
Mostly, I will say that any stereotypes you may have heard or know of about bisexuals aren’t universally true – just as the stereotypes about gays and lesbians aren’t universally true (not all gay men mince and have a lisp, not all lesbians wear lumberjack shirts and short spiky hair). As with any group, we are huge and varied. Some will cheat – but hey, heterosexuals and homosexuals cheat too – some are monogamous, some love kids, some don’t and so on.
All I can say other than the above is that I’m glad you understand that your limited experiences don’t define all bisexuals and are willing to learn about us. And you would be surprised by the number of people who are bisexual: Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day lead singer), Alan Cumming (actor, in a civil partnership with a man, but openly bisexual), Drew Barrymore (actress, too many films to list lol), Pink – and that is just the tip of a very large iceberg.
jp
@tallest:
AGREEEED! how did this get published?!
jason
Cinesnatch,
No, I’m not basing my opinions on media cliches, I’m basing my opinions on real world realities.
Take a clicker, go to a street corner, and do a survey for me. Count the number of times you see a woman walk past in pants. Count the number of times you see a man in a dress. Then compare the numbers.
I can guarantee you that you will see many women wearing pants but no men wearing dresses.
A man will tolerate his wife or girlfriend wearing traditionally masculine attire such as pants in public. But would a woman tolerate her husband or boyfriend wearing a dress in public? I doubt it.
This clearly demonstrates that women are exploiting double standards in order to get preferential treatment. Women do this in relation to clothes and in relation to their sexuality. In relation to the latter, you only have to look at adult movies to see that female-female sexuality is marketed to straights as if it’s a normal part of every day sexuality.
I truly think there is an awakening happening that is going to have serious consequences for the gay rights movement. Gay and bisexual men are beginning to realize that they have ceded privileges to women in the name of pro-female political correctness. We’ve basically allowed women to get away with things that they should not be allowed to get away with.
Fitz
@jason:
Jason, you know this whole “It gets better” campaign? Well,
not for you. It will never get better for you. It will always
suck. You will always be the unfairly treated victim. Life will
always be awful. There is no hope (for you). Give up. Hang it up.
Go out with a bang.
jason
Fitz,
I don’t care about me so much as everybody else. It’s not about me – never has been.
You know, it’s amazing what you can achieve when you think outside the “me” box.
Fitz
@jason: bottle of asprin, bottle of pepto, a few slices of bread. Just sayin.
Robert
@Calvin-Clearly you don’t know that many bisexuals. I’m bisexual and I’ve been out for decades and so have my other bisexual male and female friends and lovers.
At least the person who runs the “I am Visible” campaign is not biphobic, racist, or Transphobic like Dan Savage is. She’s also not doing it for an MTV reality TV show either. 😉
Fitz-Get out more.
There are a whole shit load of latent bisexuals masquerading around as gay men because they are ignorant of the fact that bisexual doesn’t only mean an equal attraction to both genders or they’re too scared to admit it because they’ve invested so much of their time and energy cultivating a gay identity.
The dirty little secret that never gets addressed in the so called “gay” world is the fact that many gay men do go through a second coming out and re-identify as bisexual. These men may still overwhelmingly prefer men, but their orientation and identity are not exclusively towards men. And how their attraction to both sexes manifests differently as well.
iDavid
Bis seem much more balanced than gays. They def don’t have the whole queeny bitch thing goin on. Maybe that’s gay boys who are stuck in gay mode but really bi.
Shannon1981
I am glad of this. Bisexuals are very invisible, and many LG folks are really biphobic. Sad, but true.
Shannon1981
Jason, why do you hate women? I am curious. I am a female bodied human( I do not identify as a woman), and I would LOVE to know what I have done to make you so angry.
Lefty
Can we all ask Jason a question?
Jason, what is your favourite cologne?
I’m just curious, I’m not going to buy you some for Christmas or anything!
jason
Robert,
I think the issue with bisexuality in men is that any same-sex attraction in men has been discouraged from the very beginning. Even 0.0001% of an attraction to men has been discouraged. In women, it’s a different story. It really is quite remarkable how different the treatments are depending on the gender.
I honestly have not seen a more blatant double standard. What’s even more scary is that gay-identifying men will accept bisexuality in females before they accept bisexuality in males. Truly remarkable, and indicative of a dysfunctional gay mindset.
This is why I get so angry with women in particular. It is women who are part and parcel of this discriminatory double standard. What makes it even more aggravating is that women have basically colluded with sleazy straight guys to create this double standard.
iDavid
@Jason,
Your argument is 180° off base. When was the last time u saw a women pound the shit out of a guy for being even a smidgen gay. Men set the openness standard for woman on woman heat, not women. Men completely set the gay gold standards, women are barely visible. You give waaaay too much power to women. Sounds more to me like a mother son sexual abuse issue as you are far too irrational to separate reality from insanity.
Carl
@iDavid: Jason’s blatant sexism is obvious and sickening to all, I think. The guy clearly has a lot of women issues. You’ve got to roll your eyes at how women are responsible for the male-focused media (especially UK tabloids like The Sun, which pioneered the “page 3 girl”) sexualisation of women and the hand in hand rise of lesbianism being regarded as “hot”. Sure, women went along with it and have a fair share of the blame, but without men it would never have happened, the objectification of women would not have occurred.
Who knows what lies at the core of Jason’s sexism, but I doubt it’s pleasant. Whatever it is, he needs therapy and to get over it already.
Max the Communist
@Fitz: You’re living in a non-bi ghetto. I know plenty of old bis. I myself am bi and 47 years young.
Fitz
@Max the Communist: cool. I was thinking more blue plate-special than 47, but your probably right.
bipride
@jason: Okay, so I’m homophobic because I’m a bisexual female? Thats funny I run a GSA. I’m a slut because of it? Wow, I’ve totally not been in a relationship for a year. I’m a faker? I’ve had feelings and relationships for all genders. Biphobic prick
RoxyWTF
LMAO!
I have never received any of these so-called “benefits” from being a bi-sexual woman.
Is there something I need to know? Please explain!
As for the “making out for attention”, I can only recall making out with women that genuinely wanted to make out. It was usually in private. With no awesome results from others.
Y’all trip me out with these generalizations and stereotypes.
NotBiALongShot
“The dirty little secret that never gets addressed in the so called “gay” world is the fact that many gay men do go through a second coming out and re-identify as bisexual. These men may still overwhelmingly prefer men, but their orientation and identity are not exclusively towards men. And how their attraction to both sexes manifests differently as well”.
There is no “dirty little secret”, just a bunch of re-defining of things by a group of people who obviously have an ideological agenda. Saying that one need not be a true 50/50 bisexual (ie. having no gender preference) in order to be classified as bisexual is basically saying that one must be 100% one way or the other to be considered homosexual or heterosexual. Why should anyone accept that paradigm over the one the says that “latent bisexuality” is not bisexuality in any meaningful way? That people who may have fantasies or incidents of arousal for one gender but almost exclusively, if not exclusively, DESIRE the other gender, and who probably don’t even relate mentally or socially with true bisexuals, are, for all intents and purposes, gay or straight?
Jayne
I really see myself as a Bi female. I have a long term significant other 13 yrs to be exact but I could easily have been with a girl that long too. I don’t judge how I feel about people based on age, gender or colour. I sometimes wonder how someone can box up another person and interact with them in a certain way based on how they think they should interact with them instead of just going with how they really feel. I just want someone who can understand love me for me and I can love them for them, quirks, faults and all.
BostonMike
This is a much needed program or PSA since in the GLBT community there are still tons of biphobic gay men and lesbian women.
See here: http://www.queerty.com/listen-real-world-castmate-so-sick-of-biphobia-he-can-barely-hook-up-with-tons-of-random-dudes-20111022/
NotBiALongShot-If someone is actually heterosexual or gay, they’re not going to have any sexual attraction to both genders at all.
If someone is at least sexually attracted to both genders then they are a “true bisexual”.
NotBiALongShot
“NotBiALongShot-If someone is actually heterosexual or gay, they’re not going to have any sexual attraction to both genders at all”.
False!!
“If someone is at least sexually attracted to both genders then they are a “true bisexual”.
False again!!!!
Once again, why should I accept your idea that says that one must be 100% exclusive to be considered homosexual or heterosexual? IT IS SIMPLY NOT REALISTIC. All of this “biphobia”, “bi-erasure” nonsense it laughable. Lack of receptivity to your ideological paradigm does not equal being hated or discriminated against. If you don’t like what I had to say, you can eat bricks.
Mat
I came out as bisexual at 17 and have faced horrible homophobia in my home town for it. Then come to a gay community at 19 and find out I am not welcome there either. I have had many relationships with both women and men and am currently with a biwoman. my attractions, desires, and romantic feelings could never be contained within gay or straight. I tended also to date more women because I rarely felt welcome or comfortable in the larger gay circles, but found a few awesome gay lovers and friends.
Sadly I faced biphobia in ways which have been rather devastating, and mostly from the gay male community. I often felt I should closet myself again but that was impossible. I am 40 and know many older bi’s both in same sex and opposite sex relationships. Most of these bi men and women I have known are in monogomous opposite sex relationships – and yes they are still bisexual.
Mat
My therapist is an old bi he is married monogomously to his wife since 1974. When people ask him if he is “gay” he says “it’s a part of me”. He is I think 70 years old. The point is many people are presumed gay or straight depending on who they are partnered with or their demeanor. Bisexuals are everywhere if you want to find them take John Birch Paranoid Blues just replace Bi for Red:
Well, I wus lookin’ everywhere for them gol-darned Reds
I got up in the mornin’ ’n’ looked under my bed
Looked in the sink, behind the door
Looked in the glove compartment of my car
Couldn’t find ’em . . .
I wus lookin’ high an’ low for them Reds everywhere
I wus lookin’ in the sink an’ underneath the chair
I looked way up my chimney hole
I even looked deep down inside my toilet bowl
They got away . . .