When it comes to the chosen people, gay men need about a year longer to come out than their female counter parts, according to researchers at the gay educational center Hoshen. While lesbians stay in the closet for about 2.5 years after they “begin doubting whether they are heterosexual,” gay men keep the door shut for about 3.5 years. But that does not mean lesbians start identifying as gay at a younger age. That’s because gay men start realizing something’s up at around age 14.5, while on average it doesn’t happen for lesbians until age 18; men start self-identifying as gay around age 17, while women do it at 21. The study does show that gay and bi men and women generally follow the same game of telephone when it comes to revealing their sexuality: first they come out to a friend, then mom, then later on their dad, and then finally (though definitely not always) their work colleagues.