"I don't want to bore the audience. I don't want to leave them as I was with a certain one-woman show in New York recently, saying, 'When the f#ck is this going to end?'"–Joan Collins

80's mega-bitch Joan Collins is embarking on a 25-date British theatre tour with her one-woman show, "An Evening With Joan Collins." The show–part theater, part autobiography–will tell the tale of Collins' life and career, through stories, song, photographs and clips of film. Collins only worries that, since her career is "so sprawling and multi-faceted," the show might be too long.

In case seeing Joan Collins talk about her own fabulousness for a few hours isn't gay enough, she will be accompanied on musical numbers by British cabaret act Four Poofs And A Piano. We may faint.

On the heels of smash-hit autobiographical shows by Bea Arthur and Elaine Stritch (Stritch won a Tony Award in 2002 for her show, "Elaine Stritch At Liberty")–we are salivating at the promise of seeing The Lady Collins on stage in all her glory. Will there be an American tour? Maybe we'll just have to take a trip to the British Isles and not chance missing it.

Spend an evening with Joan Collins [The Guardian--Observer Magazine]