Joe The Plumber: Doesn’t Want Gays ‘Anywhere Near My Children’

Sometimes you’ve got to assume that when people are quoted saying terribly homophobic things in the press, they were misquoted. “They can’t really think that,” you wonder to yourself. But when it comes to Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher, you’d be wrong.

In an interview with Christianity Today, the unofficial spokesman of blue collar America’s ignoramuses — and not all of blue collar America — says about same-sex marriage on the state level: “At a state level, it’s up to them. I don’t want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.”

Joe Wurzelbacher: Linguist expert and proud father.