Blues Fuzion is a band with a serious message about how effed up the United States is now that old-timey sepia-toned religion has been swept away and nobody spells the word “assembly” with an extra letter “e” anymore. They address this issue at 0:10 in the video for their song “Christian Nation?” Watch it immediately and you’ll learn about some of the band’s other lyrical concerns, like…
0:29 “They” are stealing away the nonspecific rights of Christians with nonspecific legislation.
0:41 Some African-American woman in a parka is performing all the abortions in the world.
0:44 “They” want to steal children away from two adults on the beach. Or maybe the two adults on the beach are the ones who did the child-stealing. Either way, hide your kids from “they.”
1:00 Barney Frank is going to take over everything with the wave of a hand.
1:06 Gays getting married is the same thing as bondage porn.
1:29 Fat people in hats are asleep in recliners and somebody should do something about that.
1:37 Leprechauns did it. Fuckin’ leprechauns. They made 9/11.
1:49 Blind people are somehow culpable in all this. They are, apparently, blindfolding sighted people and making them cross streets. This didn’t happen before Obama.
2:24 Nancy Pelosi and all the Supreme Court justices conspired to make some kid fall asleep on a couch when he should have been keeping watch for his religious liberty. Now more leprechauns are going to show up and snatch it away.
2:45 Mount Rushmore, you’re not so innocent, either. It’s because of you that the following picture of a wolf photoshopped wearing a sheep outfit happened.
2:50 President Obama gives a secret handsignal to his followers that translates to: “Go get em, leprechauns, homosexuals and Abortion Coat Lady!”
2:57 Obtaining a Bible-verse-emblazoned coffee mug is the first step to healing this once-proud land. Only then will Christians be free to misspell “assembly” again.