Kirk Cameron is getting an unexpected boost to his resume. In addition to being a D-list actor, Evangelist, and antigay activist, the 44-year-old father of six can now add “softcore gay erotica character” to his impressive list of credits.
Kirk Cameron & the Crocoduck of Chaos Magick is a gay erotic novella by Mandy DeSandra released last week on Amazon that stars the former teen heartthrob.
Related: Kirk Cameron Teaching People How To Act Around Gay People Is Nutty Even By His Standards
Set at a remote pray-the-gay-away summer camp, Kirk Cameron & the Crocoduck of Chaos Magick tells the story of a rebellious teenager who employs “chaos magick” to seek revenge on the camp’s director, Kirk Cameron, by sicking a “crocoduck” on the Saving Christmas star.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Sounds intriguing.
What’s a “crocoduck,” you ask? It’s a cross between a crocodile and a duck and was first imagined by Cameron himself. He and creationist Ray Comfort invented the “crocoduck” back in 2007 when attempting to disprove the theory of evolution to fellow Evangelists. (No, seriously, they actually did this. There’s a whole Wikipedia page about it.)
Related: Coming Soon: A Virulently Homophobic Feature By Kirk Cameron’s Creationist Buddy, Ray Comfort
According to the book’s description, Kirk Cameron & the Crocoduck of Chaos Magick promises lots of “hot gay orgy action, involving crockoducks, sexy holy cheese, Chaos Magick, oral sex, anal, clone 69ing, and Stigmata hand sex.”
Here’s a little excerpt:
The Crocoduck darted toward the kneeling and shocked open-mouthed Kirk Cameron. Kirk didn’t close his mouth in time and took nine inches of the Crocoduck. It squealed with delight while flapping his wings. The Boners followed the Crocoduck’s lead but went into the 69 position. They sucked one another, mirroring each other, looking like a funhouse of fellatio.
Kirk Cameron & the Crocoduck of Chaos Magick is currently available on Amazon for $6.99.
We know what we’ll be reading this weekend!
h/t: Edge Boston
Jerry Payney
time has not been kind to this asshole…. but then again Good!
Justin Martin
Wait…what?
Joselito Yambao III
That’s fucked up. Him?
John-Martin Beebe
I think this is a joke….as he is!
Hrh Spinsista Mitzi
but isn’t he the homophobic gay bashing fool from just the other day???
Tab-Eric Varney
Noooo…..
Wesley B Keeton
Its his attempt to come out of the closet
William Meyer
Bryan Beard
http://youtu.be/7l03Ycy8tZg
Found a clip…
Aaron Lorance
What? Hypocrite!
Ron Berry
Anything for a dollar
Darryl Cummings
Who cares. Move on.
John Kuehnle
This IS a joke, c’mon…
Richard Gorlewski
SO SAY WHAT?
Ruth Winkler
thanks for the laugh!!! I needed that!
Victor Barry
I’ve heard, although it’s very hard to believe, every word in the book is true. Jesus told me so.
Ismael Smiley Flores
Uhhh… alright. I guess I can add him back on my <3's lustlist lol…. be all that you can be Kirk!
Brian JC Kneeland
he is such a has-been – and a homophobe – he needs to disappear!
John Schwartz
Closet case!!!!
Crae Harper
I’ll pass….
Ric Miller
He’s a joke!!!!!!
Drew Sobaski
Gay for pay…
Tate W Peavy
I wouldnt watch it even if it was true.
Randy Corrales
Read the article guys…it is an epic story…
Dion Daly-Susino
He can make what he wants but I am not watching them!!
Stefano
Read the little excerpt guys. He is making fun of gay sex. people are so stupid sometimes !
Cam
Jesus says that Cameron is in the closet.
Ed Toribio
Finally
Lestar
Eyeroll…I thought he was actually involved. Thanks Queerty for leering me in. It’s an ad promoting that person’s book…$6.99 on Amazon. Also, who would want to be fantasizing about him…the name Kirk Cameron makes me shudder in disgust.
John Wilkinson
Amazing
Stephen Meeks
Sounds like a loser role for a loser person
Simone Pancer
Doesn’t this completely go against his religious beliefs
L Daniel E Kaufman
Be careful queerty he can sue for this.
ait10101
Hey, the guy is an actor. Don’t expect actors to be real. An actor is just who they imagine they are.
Ruben Valdez
Oh please… He need to stick to what he knows best, hate and stupidity.
David Mitchell
This has to be joke….he is so religious now….
PARKAVMAN
Is this from ‘The Onion’?
Berkleyguy
Maybe this ought to be verified with Snopes – lol! The leading homophobe of Hollywood in a gay erotic film? Sounds like an oxymoron to me.
Cam
@L Daniel E Kaufman:
No he can’t
Gustaf Au Chocolat
I’m praying really hard for Saving Christmas 2 ð??ð?¼ Please?!
ParisNat
Who is this man?
SteveDenver
A Crocoduck for a crock-o-fukk, how fitting!
Glücklich
Do a sentient flying butt and a wealthy T-rex make cameos?
http://www.queerty.com/what-does-it-feel-like-to-have-sex-with-your-own-butt-20150331
Jeff Nichols
Lol
Ladbrook
Not sure what park is Cameron’s favorite these days for sucking midnight dick, but I think it’s way past time that someone takes the hit for the team and films Cameron with a pole in his mouth, or maybe bent over and holding onto a tree.
Catching him in the act is the only way we are ever going to be free of this sick, closeted ‘mo.
Tiana Shantell Washington
No it’s fake
Robert Kinzey
Totally and completely a stupid individual.
Raúl Hernández
Is this an article straight up from The Onion? It must be.
Allen Richard
Given hes been adamantly antigay, Id say satire
Greg Morris
A Crocoduck.. priceless
Bill Mountrey
He needs to have his tubes tied and stop making babies. Even tho’ that seems to be his only success.
Marshall R. Krug
he needs to quit his day job at Burger King and focus on his acting career.
Robert Young
Soft core? I thought having your head all the way up your own ass was kind of hard core……?
onthemark
Jesus said you should go into the CLOSET to pray:
Matthew 6:6 – “But you, when your pray, enter into your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father which is in secret.”
Kirk must have taken this literally. Also, shutting the closet door keeps out the crocoducks!
tdh1980
He wants a taste of Mr. Richard so badly that he can’t even think about anything else. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
Mack
He’ll probably have some rights to change it around to straight people instead of gays. There are many films out there that started out as gay oriented that changed to straight oriented. Don’t trust him in the least.
Sam Chavez
And in between takes he will read from his bible, try to convert gays and feed the poor
Laura Lynn Jungwirth-Madden
Not funny
gaym50ish
Guys, you’re reading too much into this article. As I interpret this article and the Amazon description, the book is for real but it isn’t Cameron’s project. He didn’t write it, and I’m quite sure he won’t profit from it. It’s ABOUT Cameron and his character the Crocoduck.
Cameron could probably sue because there would be an IMPLIED copyright on the Crocoduck character even if he didn’t file a copyright. But he probably wouldn’t win.
Wilson W Wong
Sounds fucking stupid
Joe Payer
Hot
Ronald Wei
More frightening than Nightmare on Elm Street.
Stefano
@gaym50ish: You are right. Mandy DeSandra is the writer. That’s what happened when you don’t read carefully (i include myself, ;-P). Thank you gaym50ish
stonrdude
Yet another Kirk Cameron movie I will miss. I wonder if he has recovered gay marriage yet.
Diego Umino-Hatake
…
What?
Randy Todd
he hates gays, maybe he will get accidentally –cked
Gary Hecklinger
What! Wait… Wasn’t he just Gay Bashing a few months back????
Daniel Downing
Ewwwwwwww
Loyd Hawkins
Funny how many people comment without reading the article at all. This isn’t a porn movie folks, its a piece of WRITTEN satire poking fun of Cameron.
Kevin Kendall
I know one thing i won’t be see it!
Leon Ochoada
Going from “Left Behind” to “The Right Behind”??
coffeeaugur
What is the original source of this story, because Cameron is way too much of a homophobe to do such a movie, not even animated, unless there is some sort of diabolic outcome condemning LGBT…s to Hell. I doubt he needs money because he’s made of ton cash off the right wings with the Left Behind series.
coffeeaugur
Most all the reviews (all high scores on Amazon) were written right around July 7. This has got to be a scam to sell this book and make a profit. Don’t buy into it.
Matt Defo
Asshole!!!
james_in_cambridge
I hope everyone knows that the only people giving this bigoted idiot any press at all is the gay media. No one else gives a damn and his so-called “movies” are all straight-to-the-internet nothings. Let’s stop, please.
Jeanne Mehallo
This is the answer to his prayers.
Jason Bertalotto
F off! Kirk Cameron!
Robert Cella
I doubt this
Patrick Crawford
Finally
Bill Stewart
This headline just turned me straight.
James Wilbanks
WHY ??
Mike Topjian
Praise the lod!
mikelphx
Is this a joke?
Billy Budd
Hilarious.
Stefano
@Loyd Hawkins: yes it is very funny ! And some people are making comments every day (Bob LaBlah, Xzamilio, …) and have strong views on some subjects. It amuses me a lot. It is like their lives depends on Queerty and what others think of them! I really love to piss them off ! 🙂
Bill Cheek
scotshot
@onthemark: How many closets even existed 2000 years ago?
Jesse Kerr
Once again… read the article. He’s “staring in” a work of written fiction he had nothing personally to do with… except possibly the title he created the creature for based on one of his anti-evolution rants. He’s still a hardcore “Christian” biggot. Not starring in anything save the future lawsuit of this website and the author of that book.
Ricco Mashatt
This post is a marketing stunt! Stop misleading people who don’t read!!
gaym50ish
It appears there’s going to be a rumor getting started here — a rumor that Kirk Cameron is starring in a porn movie. And it’s because some of you are not reading past the headline.
There is NO MOVIE! It’s a BOOK! Cameron is not STARRING in anything, but is being lampooned by this book’s author.
winemaker
Seriously people, why are we paying attention to this asshole? We’ve got more important things to deal wit than this idiot! Let’s move on to more pressing issues!
NJjoe
What a joke this non-lister of this so called “actor.” Has anyone cared about Cameron after he finished “Growing Pains?” I agree, why do we pay such attention to this dink?
1EqualityUSA
My gaydar pings every time I see this man’s face. It’s odd that he focuses so much on gays, when Christ never said a word about gays. Divorce and being judgmental was mentioned.
Stefano
@gaym50ish: @Jesse Kerr: Yep some people have no reading skills…It happens all the time on Facebook, some people just read the headlines. lol
ptb2014
Let us hope one of his 6 kids turns out to be gay. 6 KIDS? hasn’t he heard of the population problem in the world or it this just his short sighted oudated by centuries religion kicking in?
Linda Wiest
I thought he was so against gays….