Lady Gaga, or someone along those lines, has sent an open letter to President Barack Obama asking him to make Mother Monster a UN ambassador on LGBT rights. But there’s something rotten in the state of ARTPOP:
Dear Barry — I am sorry this letter is so informal. But it is from my heart. I want to be the United Nations Ambassador for LGBT rights. As you know, I and my mother Cynthia run the Born This Way foundation and we have helped save the lives of many LGBT youth. I was bullied as a youth and understand how LGBT youth feel. Every single night, I cry just thinking about their pain. I am them. They are me!
As the UN ambassador for LGBT rights, I would need your support and activism. It is important that you attend some of my performances in promotion for my new album ARTPOP. It is important that you play some of the songs during your speeches. It is important that you help me pass laws against bullying, particularly on the Internet. There are many people who call my little monsters faggots. There are many who call me names as well. We need to stop these people because they are leading others to participate in bullying.
Finally, I want to say how much I identify with the bullying you receive just because you are Black. You certainly are not a slave, you are not on welfare, you don’t rap about ho’s and guns, and you don’t walk around with tattoos glued all over your body. You don’t deserve the bullying comments from the right wing conservatives. I understand how you feel. Please support me in my latest endeavor. Love, Lady Gaga.
Though Gaga and “Barry” have been on friendly-ish terms since she towered over him in a 50-in heel two years ago, we think even the Lady has a bit more decorum than this, so we’re going to call bullshit on this letter. Aside from dropping the f-bomb and referring to slavery and “ho’s and guns” in respect to the President’s “Blackness”, Gags wouldn’t have the self-absorbed chutzpah to actually use this letter to plug her upcoming album/life experience ARTPOP. At least not without mentioning the release date. Nice try, Internets!
Of course, if this letter turns out to be real, it’ll be embarrassing for everyone involved.