“I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex,” Lady Gaga told a British crowd while promoting MAC’s Viva Glam cosmetics line. “I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody. So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine. … It’s OK to be whomever it is that you want to be. You don’t have to have sex to feel good about yourself, and if you’re not ready, don’t do it. And if you are ready, there are free condoms given away at my concerts when you’re leaving! … I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.” That is a fantastic message for young people!
It is also a hard one to swallow.
Gaga has, in a short burst of just a couple years, built her fame credentials on overt sexuality, making pants-less and transparent costumes as relevant to her brand as catchy dance hooks. She performs on stage with her cooch on full display. She has a song called “Disco Stick.”
But what she’s doing here is separating sexual expression from sex, and it’s something “family values” advocates have always argued is impossible. If you promote sexiness, you’re encouraging sex, and there’s just no two ways about it, they’ll say.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Is Gaga, then, the best advocate for celibacy? No. But she’s a decent one. Like they did with Britney Spears a half decade ago, and Madonna a generation before that, young girls respect and swoon over this collision of New York knocks and fame whoring. She has their ear. And telling them to save their lady flower — not because there’s anything wrong with having sex, but because it’s wise to stay safe and healthy and get to know your partner before screwing — will do more than a thousand MTV campaigns.
Now don’t go calling her a hypocrite:
Chuckjones
The blogs are having a field day with misleading headlines. I agree that she is giving a good message for young people. She’s taking her job with MAC seriously. Essentially, she’s promoting safe sex and loving relationships. She’s advising against having intercourse with strangers. As for the photo of Lady Starlight, there’s a much more explicit photo from that set. They’re very good friends.
Shade
Telling folks to have sex only if they are ready and then to have safe sex… I think we can all stand behind that message can’t we?
Sam
@Queerty: Wrong again. The song is called “LoveGame.” The term “Disco Stick” is merely in the lyrics.
Alfonzo
It’s possible to have sexuality without sex. Kudos to Gaga for telling the young’ins it’s okay to NOT have sex.
On a side note, there are kinds of people who give the impression of being sexual even though they’re not sluts in reality.
RobertATL
Being in tune with your sexuality is not the same as being a slut. I see nothing hypocritical with being ‘sexual’ and telling kids to not have wanton sex, and to wait when they are ready.
marksnyder
I heard GaGa slam non-monogamy on a morning show recently. Sorry, but its OK to have sex with strangers and its OK to be non-monogamous if that is your thing. Know the risks, and do everything you can to reduce them including using lube and wearing a condom every time.
jason
I think Lady Gaga is a phony. I think her statements are designed for purely publicity-related reasons. I would go so far as to say that her pro-gay rights position is an elaborate ploy which exploits the gullibility of the dumb gay masses, paticularly gay men.
Oh for the days when gay men actually had brains and thought things through before throwing their cash at “bisexual” dance divas who are simply propping up the sleazy straight guy fantasy. One can only surmise that, sometime after the 1980’s, the gay male brain became a congealed mass of amyl- and ecstasy-affected glue.
Your gullibility is beyond the pale. You think like robots, but without their intelligence.
biguy
I have a hard time believing she’s not having sex and I hate it when people act like open relationships aren’t real relationships. I do think its cool that she hands out condoms after her shows and I’m a big fan of hers but these remarks were odd.
hardmannyc
She not saying “don’t have sex.” She’s saying “It’s OK not to have sex.”
Why are you trying to make something controversial out of something so blatantly correct and innocuous?
It doesn’t reflect well on this site’s writers’ intelligence to invent these “controversies.”
bruce
Lady Gaga is a “fantasy woman” created by heterosexual men for the benefit of heterosexual men. I put her on the same list as Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Madonna.
jason
Imagine how much thought went into that crotch shot of Gaga in the picture accompanying this article. Don’t have sex but look at my crotch. Consistency? Yeah, right.
jason
Celibacy is great, guys. But, you know, here’s my crotch. Have a look at it, guys. Oh, by the way, I love the gays. They’re my favorites. I love the sound of that ka-ching thing as you keep buying my records.
Anonymouse
Just because there’s a cooch and pair of tittaes ™ in your face showing through transparent clothing doesn’t mean “HEY! HAVE SEX!” America in general is just scared of nudity.
And she’s saying it’s OK not to have sex. Make sure you’re ready to have it, have fun with it, etc. She’s not being an advocate of anything. She’s just telling you not to be a dumb slut, pretty much.
Christina, Madonna and Lady GaGa have all used sexual imagery, but they all know what they’re doing with it… unlike Britney Spears, who is just a dumb slut (who I still love. Oh yeaaah)
jason
Anonymouse,
Oh, please, if you believe that then you believe in the tooth fairy.
Lady Gaga is using female nudity and sexuality as a marketing ploy. She is really not much different from the Playboy Bunnies. The only thing that is different is that Lady Gaga knows how to exploit stupid gay guys. It’s all about the money.
By the way, if nudity is OK, why isn’t Justin Timberlake posing with his crotch showing? How about other males? Why aren’t they posing with their crotches or claiming to be bisexual?
The simple fact is that women are allowed to but men aren’t. It’s a sexist and homophobic double standard. Wake up to it.
TonyD
I see nothing wrong with taking control of your sex life, or lack of- females seem to be the superior beings on responsibility, while men make up “sex addiction.” Quite frankly, I wish I wasn’t so sloppy with who I did the nasty with when I was younger, but youth is for errors, right?
sam
@jason: sigh. jason, jason…
it’s not Gaga’s fault there’s a double standard in america.
In american music videos, you can get away with girl on girl sex, and all kinds of near boob exposure. It’s true. So naturally she includes it.
But have you seen ANYTHING from her stage show? it’s the queerest thing i’ve seen in my life. Male dancers near naked masturbating themselves through their skimpy undies, male dancers kissing male dancers, gaga calling on her gay boys.
She couldn’t get away with that on american tv, or even in the general media. it just wouldn’t happen. So kudos to her for doing what she bloody well can.
good lord it amuses me when people don’t understand the woman 😛 all she’s doing is making great music and shows and saying intelligent thingswhen optional.
Tell me ONE time that Gaga has said something blatantly ridiculous or patently untrue (except perhaps her opinion on why she’ll always wear heels). her opinion on sex is mature and wise. Doesn’t stop ehr being allowed to go for the mor eoutrageous side of her own sexuality.
And if you honestly thinks he’s doing it to turn on straight men, clearly you haven’t looked at the comments on her youtube videos. most straight guys think she’s a dog.
Jose
@jason:
“The simple fact is that women are allowed to but men aren’t. It’s a sexist and homophobic double standard. Wake up to it.”
and who is perpetuating this double-standard? Seems like you’re just arguing against some phantom enemy and then pointing at Lady Gaga for no reason. Lady Gaga’s all about sexual freedom of expression all while promoting safety in practice.
Anyway, “By the way, if nudity is OK,”; it is IMO. And I also think women like Lady Gaga shouldn’t be held at fault but rather the perception of male sexuality needs to catch up.
She is a huge proponent for gay rights and the gays love her music and style and happily money at her. why hate?
meh, you’re kinda set on your hatred for her. Ah well good luck with that.
Anonymouse
@jason:
“Lady Gaga is using female nudity and sexuality as a marketing ploy.”
No shit, Sherlock.
JTLYK, everything you see is a marketing ploy.
I don’t even know what your argument is. What are you so angry at? When did this become an argument about double-standards and men vs women when it was just about a celebrity quote that advocated safe sex? Why are you even talking about Justin Timberlake? You can find Justin Timberlake topless on the cover of rolling stone. Usher in nothing but boxers on stage and in his music videos. Eminem on a poster with nothing but a stick of dynamite to cover his wang.
You are just afraid of female sexuality.
Crystal Haidl
She’s a sexy and talented 24 year old celeb who is blending her own young sexual learning as a commercialized “sexperienced” bully pulpit for her fans, aka Madonna and Brittany et al. If she allows herself to mature into the sexually honest role model she says she sees herself as, she’ll address the confusion she promotes between the cause and effect of sexual tease with her new-found and presumably temporary celibacy. Everyone has a right, and maybe even a responsibility to themselves, to follow our own unique sexual path, but there is also a responsibility on how our sexual choices effect and influence others- perhaps that’ll be her next vid.
hardmannyc
She’s a tireless, empathetic and devoted advocate of gay rights — the best friend we have other than Cindi Lauper. Why the hating?
Shanna
It’s fine to be celibate, but it’s also fine to “have sex all the time” provided its safer sex. What ought to be promoted is not following what others (including pop stars) do, but figuring out what’s right for oneself.