religious dispatch

Lutheran Pastor Samuelson: Believing the Bible Bans Gay Sex Is Not Bigotry

Following August’s vote by the ELCA to permit noncelibate Lutherans to become clergy, Queerty has brought you perspectives from Lutherans Concerned/North America’s Ross Murray, straight pastor Erik Samuelson, and queer pastor Lura Green. Today, Erik publicly responds to Lura’s message to him — and has an apology for everyone else. But, there’s a but

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Pastor Lura, thanks for your response to my article. I haven’t commented on my original Queerty post because I haven’t really known how to respond to the challenges the commenters have offered. I’m realizing how little I really understand what many LGBT people have gone through, and I’m saddened by the abusive experiences it’s clear so many have had in the Christian church. But your email really helped me see their responses (and my own comments) more clearly, and to wrap my head around what I might say next.

First, I appreciate your efforts to preach a bit of “law” to me, I needed it. I see that much more clearly now. You said it in a way that I could hear it, and I thank you for that. Where the gospel is in this, I’m still not sure.

A little explanation of terms for non Lutheran readers (feel free to skip): When Lutherans talk about law and gospel it means something a bit different than it does in other contexts, even religious ones. We usually think of law and punishment or law and reward—and when many Christians use the word law they mean rules, and gospel they mean cash and prizes for following the rules. Lutherans will talk about law in two ways 1) “the first use of the law” means those things (like stop signs and “do not murder”) that are generally good ideas and basically keep us from harming one another and 2) “the second use of the law” (or theological use) means those conversations, laws, experiences, flashes of insight or whatever that point out to us (in a way that wakes us up) how crappy we are being, or how crappy we are treating other people. By bringing the truth to light (even when it hurts), the law wakes us up to how we should be living. My f-bomb my previous post about my down syndrome neighbor is the second use of the law. (Feel crappy about using that word when you heard about my neighbor? Good. That was my point. I didn’t see the word “mongoloid” once in the comments on my post. Seems to have worked.) The purpose of the second use of the law is not just just a list of dos and don’ts or to just make everybody feel crappy, but to hold up a mirror that helps us see how things really are, and through that to bring about real change in attitude and action. For Lutheran Christians it reminds us that we are all ALL screw-ups no matter how hard we try to fix ourselves (or how hard we try to follow the law or make other people follow it) we really do need the forgiveness we experience in Jesus and in reconciliation with one another. The ELCA heard the law when we realized last week that the way we’ve enforced the “laws” of Leviticus, etc. on our LGBT brothers and sisters has been crappy—those very laws showed us the “law” of how far we were from actually doing what God intends—and so we changed, a small change but a real one.

So, Pastor Lura, here’s my confession. I’ve never been called a heterosexist before (though I probably should have been) and in this case I really deserve it.

The way I co-opted the word “queer” was not just offensive, it was dismissive of real people, real experiences, real pain. I didn’t mean it the way it came across (probably should have said “a tiny taste of what it is to be queer”) but even that, I now realize, is awful. You’re absolutely right: I have no idea at all what it really is to be queer, no matter how many stories I hear about it. I probably will never know. So to you, and all the people I hurt with this line of comment, I’m sorry. I won’t use “queer” in that way anymore. I didn’t realize how this comes across (much like the really stupid “But some of my best friends are gay!”) and I’m going to knock it off.

I also confess that I did a poor job of communicating to Queerty readers what the ELCA vote might have to do with them. In my defense, I’ve never read (let alone written for) a gay news website. But I didn’t take the time to frame things in a way my audience could understand (and my lame attempts with the word queer only made it worse). This was confirmed to me by the fact that my straight, Lutheran friends really enjoyed my article, while most of the Queerty folks and my LGBT friends thought it was a load of crap. (In fact, some of them have taken to calling me “The Betrayer,” Queerty readers are in good company.) I was writing from where I was at, from my point of view (maybe even to myself), and most people (especially those on this website) actually didn’t give a damn about what I had to say. Aand I don’t blame them. For this too, I am sorry.

So I’ll try again.

I think what happened at the ELCA Churchwide Assembly in relation to homosexuality is important for two reasons.

1) We are no longer perpetuating the injustices that we have imposed on LGBT pastors (and by inference LGBT people in general) by supposing that we can “accept” them and their sexuality in the church but only if they refrain from actually falling in love or otherwise living fully into their identity as sexual human beings (aka having sex). I think that we (that is the ELCA) actually knew this was b.s. all along, but it made us feel better and kept us from having the real conversations we were too “nice” to get into, or to face the fact that its hard to support this kind of treatment of anybody given what we Lutherans believe about God and the Bible.

2) By allowing theological, biblical, and ecclesiastical (i.e. church structure) validity to those Lutheran pastors, congregations, and people who believe “homosexuality is not wrong, sinful, or deviant” we have done more than “agree to disagree”. We have validated this understanding as an authentic, Lutheran, Christian, biblical point of view. And in doing this, despite what some (including many commenters here) believe about what the Christian church is all about, we have in fact said: “The purpose of the ELCA is NOT to condemn or otherwise work against LGBT people.” And even though we haven’t taken the bolder step (which many would have us do) to say “in fact, every last one of us celebrate LGBT people and their full sexual identities” the act of the ELCA to officially make room for this understanding is a big deal.

I simply can’t assume they think and believe these things simply out of hate, because they are homophobic, or because they are somehow “less enlightened” than I am—because I know these people and their stories and I know this is not where they are coming from.

I don’t know what these policy changes mean for you, Pastor Lura, or for other LGBT pastors and lay people in the ELCA, or to LGBT people outside of the ELCA. But for me these changes mean that I can actually talk to LGBT people, people under 40, and those with LGBT friends or family (which is most people I know) without having to apologize or explain away why my church teaches that “God loves everybody” and “everyone is welcome” but treats some people exactly the opposite and by doing so constantly exposes itself to be hypocritical.

I can now say: “The ELCA lives in the real world, a world where some people are against homosexuality and some people embrace it—and in this church there really is room for everybody. Yeah, there are folks that hold to some teachings I disagree with (some profoundly), but this is true with pretty much every controversial thing in my church. And yeah, there are some outright bigots and homophobes, and we’re not real proud of them. But we also don’t just say “go to hell” and leave them out of the party. We’re family. We love one another anyway.”

You and I simply can’t write off those who read the Bible and have an understanding of faith profoundly different than we do. The folks at Queerty certainly can, and I have no business telling them how they should think about or treat these folks. But as a fellow Christian, you and I don’t get the option to hate anyone or even to ignore people who disagree with us.

I also agree with you that homophobia is deviant and that heterosexism is sinful, but we need to be careful on whom we put those labels. I spent a lot of time at the Churchwide Assembly listening to the stories of those folks who stood in the red-mic line to speak against these changes. And yes, some of them are jerks.

I met some outright homophobes and and an honest to goodness bigot or two.

But many, many of them are not. And yes, I think the way of reading the Bible many of these people employ is not the best one and I disagree with their conclusions, but I simply can’t assume they think and believe these things simply out of hate, because they are homophobic, or because they are somehow “less enlightened” than I am—because I know these people and their stories and I know this is not where they are coming from.

If they act out in actual hate speech or action, then you are right, we need to challenge that. But simply believing homosexual sex is not allowed in the Bible (and that all of us are better off if people refrain from it) is not bigotry, it’s not hate speech, and it’s not in and of itself sinful. No matter how wrong, backward, and contrary to the core of Christian teaching we might find it, this is an opinion that people are entitled to.

You and I simply can’t write off those who read the Bible and have an understanding of faith profoundly different than we do. The folks at Queerty certainly can, and I have no business telling them how they should think about or treat these folks. But as a fellow Christian, you and I don’t get the option to hate anyone or even to ignore people who disagree with us.

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These people—even the homophobes and bigots—are our brothers and sisters and calling them homophobes and sinners is not going to build relationship, its not going to bring understanding, and it’s not going to help any of us work this out together. We can’t “love the sinner, hate the sin” and really be in relationship, just as that has never worked in the other direction. Our consciences are bound to one another, there is no “us” and there is no “them,” and I believe the only way to actually make a difference is through love, and yes, a love that includes the law as we have been talking about it here. Speaking the truth in love as you have done with me. That’s what changes hearts.

Thanks again for your response to me, and thanks for the law that I needed to hear. I think the gospel has come for me in finding a different and better way to say all of this—and it reminds me of how much I need conversations with my LGBT brothers and sisters (and the conservative folks too) to understand really what it means to be a Lutheran Christian and to serve my neighbor.

I can’t wait for the next installment of this conversation, and I do hope it’s over a home brew.

And to Queerty readers: Thanks for listening, and thanks for being willing to engage in conversation with someone like me that clearly is coming from a different place than you are. I have enjoyed the comments (yes, even the nasty ones) and this process has helped me learn about myself and about how I can better speak about these things with LGBT people—something I anticipate getting the opportunity to do more and more now that these changes have taken place in the ELCA.

A few comments from my point of view.

I’m glad to claim, with Pastor Lura and many other Lutherans, that “homosexuality is not wrong, sinful, or deviant.” But I need to say to folks like the commenter named Brian who insists on straight people claiming this loudly and publicly before they will seriously engage in conversation with them, please realize that as a straight Christian this strikes me exactly the same way as fundamentalists who refuse to talk to me until I have made clear that “I’ve accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.” Both of these demands are demeaning to me, and say to me that you are only willing to engage with me if we are in total agreement on everything, which is crap. You don’t want a conversation partner or a friend, you want a convert. Insist on this if you must, but you are closing down any possibility of actual conversation with me.

Also, if folks haven’t ever encountered a church that believes that “homosexuality is not wrong, sinful, or deviant,” (and even if you have) please check out the Lutheran churches on the website for Lutherans Concerned North America an organization that has been helping congregations be intentionally welcoming to LGBT people for many many years and was a huge factor in these changes in the ELCA. No, they haven’t signed the “Universal Brian Declaration” but they are living it out in ways more powerful than any seven words can communicate.

You will find in the list of congregations helpful notes including which Lutheran congregations have LGBT families as part of their communities (a strong sign of acceptance in my book), which congregations bless same-gendered partnerships, and which congregations have out LGBT pastors. Also check out the work of “Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries” who have been working for nearly 20 years (the ELCA is only 21 years old) to ensure that qualified people who are excluded simply because of their sexual orientation can serve as pastors. This is how Pastor Lura herself got to serve as a pastor, and she’s a damn good one. These folks, and these congregation, will be much better witnesses to this than I am.

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