It’s not even Labor Day but the toy industry is already laying the groundwork for a brisk holiday season. And this year, it’s making a play for all the little gay boys and girls—well, mostly boys—with some pretty queertastic dolls. Just invite Magic Earring Ken over and you’ll be ready to kiki in the Dream House!
Manila Luzon Doll
This mini-Luzon (actually a pimped-out Barbie) sports an adorable pineapple dress with Swarovski crystals, metallic sequins, an emerald mermaid flounce—and a hefty $700 price tag. We hear the limited edition Imelda Marcos version comes with 40 pairs of shoes.
Blond Diamond Barbie
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
We told you about this yesterday: Mattel teamed up with design duo The Blonds on a doll inspired by the fall 2008 collection of the design duo the Blonds—specifically gender-bender Phillipe Blond. The $125 Blond Diamond Barbie comes dolled up in a white faux-fur coat with hot pink lining and a showstopping bejeweled corset dress any queen would sacrifice her best wig to tuck into. If you happen to get this stunner in your stocking this Christmas, we’re dying to know what’s under the dress.
This truly outrageous 12-inch doll from Hasbro and Integrity Toys was teased at Comic Con this summer, and is the first in a full line of Jem and the Holograms dolls. (There better be a Pizzazz doll or we’re gonna have to choke a bitch.) Retailing for $125, she comes complete with cotton-candy hair, hand-applied eyelashes, mike stand and authentic Jemstar earrings. (Synergy not included.)
Barbie Styled by Tim Gunn
Project Runway‘s meticulous mentor chose the outfits for Barbie’s new Styled by Tim Gunn-Pink Label Collection. The dolls are wearing sensible must-haves, but as the press notes say they offer “design versatility that can easily and stylishly transition from day to night.” (These can’t be aimed at little girls, can they?)
Doll 1 “wears a timeless ensemble of smart separates, including a crisp white shirt paired with a sleek black pencil skirt and cinch belt,” while Doll 2 opts for a print blouse and yellow blazer with skinny jeans. And yes, they come with the accessories seen above: black-frame glasses, cell-phone, coffee cup, and even a tiny copy of Tim Gunn’s Fashion Bible. At $29.95, you won’t have to break the bank to “make it work.” (We had to, sorry.)
Katy Perry Doll
Last year Mattel designed a one-of-a-kind Katy Perry doll inspired by her California Dreams Tour: It came festooned with 70 hand-painted, mini novelty cupcakes, a glittery candy-colored bodice and fishnets with shimmering Swarovski crystals. They even added hand-painted replicas of Perry’s tattoos for accuracy. The figurine was auctioned off for the HIV/AIDS charity Project Angel Food. So if you know who has it, we’re just gonna say we’ve been reeeally good this year.
White Diamonds Elizabeth Taylor
Oh sure, you can get a Marilyn Monroe doll easy. But for our money, the real icon is La Liz, seen here in a crisp white dress and signature AIDS ribbon. (Who’d have ever thought we’d see the day when Barbie would wear an AIDS ribbon?) Hitting stores September 15, the White Diamonds Elizabeth Taylor is a steep $110 but features a realistic face sculpt approved by Liz herself—plus a script, sunglasses, jewels, a tiara and a mini perfume bottle. Wonder if it’s filled with White Diamonds perfume?
Photos: Mattel, Ninimomo, Manfred Werner-Tsui, Integrity Toys
Red Meat
Dafuq is this
Callum
Dan, WTF?? I read Queerty generally 4 times a day. I find the doll story stupid and even embarrassing. I was raised on the West Coast, spent years in San Francisco as a gay (and out) business man. I remember when Toad Hall and later Midnight Sun opened on Castro. I am currently 65 and retired and running a small cattle ranch in Missouri. Again, I am insulted by the stupid story about Dolls. I know no gay men who have any interest in such dolls. The last doll I owned or was interested in was as a one year old child . That’s when I threw a Raggedy Andy (dressed in sailor suit and hat) doll out the car window and off a bridge.
Tessie Tura
@Callum: (channeling Patrick Stewart) Oooooh, get HER!
I don’t know what cave you live in, but even here in rural Alabama (yes, Mary, and I live on a cattle farm) I know of gay men who collect dolls, including a businessman in his late fifties who owns at least a couple dozen Ella Smith dolls! (Look them up. They were manufactured in my home town.)
Personally I do not collect dolls, but there is a market for these items, and there are man gay men who want to be informed. So shake the dust off your crinoline and go back to being butch. I’ve got bush-hogging to do.
ronsfo
Burning Man is next and we’ll be sure to visit the Barbie Death Camp.
http://www.facebook.com/BarbieDeathCamp
This year’s Burning Man theme is “Fertility 2.0”
See you in BRC (Black Rock City)
Peter
Having a strong love for dolls means a man is in touch with his feminine side. But what about the gay men who grew up in touch with their masculine side? As a kid in the 80’s, I loved GI Joe, Transformers and He Man. A few months ago a gay guy told me I look like Big Jim. I’d never heard of Big Jim, so I Googled it. LOL! But seriously, lets be a little more inclusive. I think having a more even mix of “masculine”, “feminine” (and in-between) stories on this site would make Queerty more well-rounded.
Peter
@ronsfo:
DAUGHTER -“Mommy, does Barbie come with Ken?”
MOTHER -“No, she comes with GI Joe and just fakes it with Ken.”
lol. funny page
DerekR
@Callum: Boy for being 65 you sure are more than a bit narrow minded and just as clueless.
I personally know of a friend’s friend who not only collects dolls but also creates them – buying the heads and arms but stuffing the bodies, sewing the clothes, selling them at doll shows etc.
Do I get it? No, but who f*cking cares what I get. It is his interest and what floats his boat.
So Callum, get the f*ck over yourself and what you think you know and just STFU. Or better yet, start your own blog and post topics which you can more closely relate.
Tessie Tura
@Peter: I still have the Big Jim Sports Camper I had as a child. They are collectible. It’s basically the same as the Barbie Camper, but done in browns. Seriously. I had a Big Jim doll but his muscle arm broke.
Tone
They’re gorgeous. I don’t really collect dolls, I’m more into arts & crafts pottery and mid-century glass. I could see myself buying a Liz doll, if only for the camp value.
I have one of the original Billy dolls though, and he looks absolutely fabulous on the ledge above the radiator. And I still have my childhood G.I. Joe with flocked hair. I also bought an Earring Magic Ken Doll on Ebay, so I suppose in a way I can cop to being a doll collector, if one with very limited scope.
I don’t know what all the fuss is about. To each our own. You collect what you like, I’ll do the same and we’ll get along just fine.
Frank McGinness
Damn I was hoping for a man doll so I can fashion him aforezkin restoration device to give to the doll man at 19ththe and Castro SF. Guy has many political bents exhibit through dolls at his 1st floor windows.
Dumdum
@Callum: I came out in San Francisco in 1975 at 15 I too recall those bars and that era in San Francisco’s shameful history of Gender hatred and my Gay brothers in Clone Valley AKA The Castro.Everyone wore 501 jeans, plaid shirts and sported beards and mustaches.Women were sneered at and treated with contempt if they tried to enter the holy sanctum of men. A bunch of lumberjack wannabes.The gay community was rife with gender and racial segregation.Polk street was for the Twinks and Fairies.Castro was for THE MEN.San Francisco went through a very dark period during the plague.But has been reborn the clubs are mixed and things are changing it’s not as bad as it was but still race and gender issues exist in the very last place on earth that they should. Not all Gay boys want to play with dolls but I sure as hell wanted Barbie and my parents freaked.I got GI Joe instead,took him outside tied him to a stake, poured gasoline on him and torched the bastard,did a war dance around him til he was nothing but a smoldering puddle of goo. In my defense my Nana who survived the Nazis.(God bless her.)Told my bio parental units that.”It takes all kinds of people to make a world.”
MK Ultra
I had all the Spice Girls dolls and a bunch of britney Spears dolls when I was a kid.
I still have them packed away somewhere.
But my doll collecting days are long over.
PerryBrass
Thank you for the piece on dolls. For years I have thought about and wondered about the relationship between gay men and dolls: there really is one. I know of few gay guys who did not have a special feeling or yearning for dolls as kids, and I now know dozens of guys who either collect, make, sell, or want dolls. They can be hot wrestling dolls, sexy big-dicked boy dolls, little girl dolls, high fashion dolls, baby dolls, star dolls (lots of Chers). I have written several stories about dolls, and sexual fantasies involving dolls. What I wish had been in this doll story was something about guy dolls—because so many of the guys I know want them, whether they are “real” or not. Perry Brass, author of King of Angels.