A gay man says he thought he and his boyfriend had a great, open, honest relationship. Then he made a startling discovery in his boyfriend’s pants. And now he’s doubting everything.
“I’m a gay man of 42 and my partner is 30,” he writes in a letter to advice columnist Dear Deirdre. “Although there’s an age gap we have always got along really well. We went out together for fun initially, but then we started having feelings for one another.”
The man says they are good companions for one another and that their sex life is great… Or so he thought.
He writes, “I was taking our suits to the dry-cleaners before a friend’s wedding and found Viagra in my partner’s pocket. I asked him about it and we had one almighty row. We both said things we didn’t mean.”
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The boyfriend said he likes to take Viagra because the sex feels better and he lasts longer. Now, the man feels totally betrayed.
“I’d like to have known,” he writes. “We haven’t had sex since. If he isn’t truthful about this, what else is he hiding from me?”
In her response, Deirdre seems completely unconcerned.
“Probably nothing,” she writes. “He has performance anxiety and wants to ensure he doesn’t let you down.”
Although, she adds, taking Viagra at such a young age generally isn’t recommended.
“Unless he has an underlying medical issue, he shouldn’t need Viagra at 30, and may actually cause himself arousal problems by using it unnecessarily.”
She continues, “If he has early morning erections they show everything is working as it should. You don’t need to pop pills to increase sexual arousal and stamina.”
Related: Man who injected his penis with Viagra calls it “one of the worst decisions of my life”
Chrisk
If the boyfriend is smart he’ll dump the controlling older boyfriend ASAP. If this is all it takes it’s only going to get worse.
Toofie
Yeah, that younger guy should RUN.
ElPillo
What a waste of time. What an idiotic 42- yo guy
major8man
Completely agree
johncp56
Hey I like younger guys and if he wants to take Viagra no big deal,,, that guy seems to be overreacting
chase_boston
implants implants implants …. (the ether´s blocks angel)
Mister P
Make him wear the pants and then discover
Hussain-TheCanadian
Why did their conversation end in a fit of anger that resulted in “saying things we didnt mean”?
That tells me there are underlying issues somewhere that are not being discussed. As usual, alot of vital information is missing from this story, to make it enjoyable, worth reading, or getting any proper lesson out of.
LostMyClothesAgain
A 30 year old taking Viagra may very well be using crystal meth.
lord.krath
This is what the old guy is bitching about? This might simply be a case of projection. If I were the younger guy, I’d be hightailing it OR asking the old dude what his real concerns are. Otherwise, life and time are too precious to be dealing with relationships that make you question your partner or yourself.
Chrisk
Sweety are you a child? What universe is 42 considered “old” ?
Jerry
Clickbait
bigblackhose
Jerry – thank you!
Man About Town
What a ludicrous thing to be upset about!
nicholsr
Did YOU truly want to die on that hill at this time of your life? You give up a man you cared about because you found a pharmaceutical that requires a script. Suck Up and Deal (SUD)
SapientHomo
You don’t need a prescription for Viagra in the UK. You can get it over the counter in any pharmacy.
dhmonarch89
I wonder if the older guy has money and the younger guy has to take Viagra to ‘show’ him he’s really interested and not using him for his money….
Doug
My first thought too. I think the guy is now wondering if his partner isn’t really attracted to him and can only have sex with him by using Viagra.
surfpenis
Pics or it didn’t happen. Specifically, dick pics.
russellhm
While the younger lad should be able to perform, there may be alcohol involved that’s causing some doubt. And so, he uses the pill to make sure—as Diedre suggests–that he doesn’t disappoint.
russellhm
The younger lad’s use of the pill seems unnecessary and so, perhaps, there’s an alcohol problem that can interfere with erections or causing them to be short-lived. As Diedre notes, perhaps, too, he doesn’t want to disappoint. The older chap appears to have challenged without much delicacy. What a shame he didn’t discuss the pill first for himself and get a reaction.
Joshooeerr
The truth is that a lot of guys are now using Viagra for the extra buzz and endurance it gives them. They don’t need it, but it gives them confidence and a faster recovery after an orgasm. There’s also apparently no shame or secrecy involved. A number of guys have openly told me they do this, and asked if I have Viagra in the same way they’d ask if I had poppers.
CityguyUSA
What the hell? Why is everyone jumping in like they have any clue what’s going on between these two or how committed they might be?
I see the typical gay males saying they should break up more than likely coming from your own bs. of feeling insecure in yourself. We need more single gay men so they can spend their years in a drug or alcohol addled state because they’re suffering from being alone because it’s not acceptable in general in the male gay community to be in a relationship where there are demands on each other for fidelity. Get back to me when you are 40 and no one’s searching for you anymore.
I’ve honestly never seen people that have such awful issues with being human to one another and allowing themselves to feel something for someone else unless it revolves around sex and being treated like shit that’s one of the largest requirements for gay males. Treat me like shit and I’ll keep coming back so you can degrade me some more ie wreck my asshole.
It’s truly sad.
Brian
They’re commenting on the information given in the article. Duh.
Stephen
Clue #1. Viagra pill
Clue #2. Couple has not had sex in a while
Clue #3. Open relationship
8 would be concerned that the partner may be using recreational drugs and need the viagra while on E, meth, crack, bath salts, etc. So we have bigger conversation.
Does open relationship to sex also include r3creational drug use, other people, Sex-Chem parties and is it exclusively with safer sex practices or is it the last thing he thinks about when having sex with others. This is so much more than just a viagra talk.
Tempus
I don’t get the feeling betrayed bit because he didn’t reveal he took Viagra but I don’t have all the facts such as what they said when they argued. If the guy taking the Viagra got upset it could be he was being defensive because despite what he says he has real need for it and was embarrassed his use of a drug like Viagra was revealed. On the other hand I know people who have used Viagra recreationally just to last longer despite the fact they didn’t medically need it so that could very well be why he was using it. Seems like there was some overreaction as it’s not like Viagra is meth or something so I assume they’ll work things out as long as they actually talk to each other.
Cam
This sounds like one of those phony invented plotlines in a made for TV movie where they have to have some reason for the couple to get into a fight.