It’s hard out there for an over-sexed Millennial with an iPhone armed with every gay hookup app known to man.
At least, according to 20-something blogger Nixon Gold.
“Sex, like most Millennials, has been on my brain a lot lately,” Gold writes in a post titled Confessions Of A Gay Man Looking For Love In The Hook-Up Generation. “And when I say a lot, I pretty much mean every single day for the last 20 f*cking years.”
Gold claims that “not a single day” passes when he doesn’t think about, engage in, or watch other people have sexual relations with one another.
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“So my question is this: Am I alone?” he ponders. “Or are there other people who are just as horny, but who aren’t talking about it?”
Related: Guys Reveal How They Really Feel About Open Relationships
Gold estimates that “at any given time, all over gay New York City there are two people going at it like a pair of horny teenagers whose parents just left them alone for the weekend.”
“Sound outrageous?” he asks. “Don’t believe me? Well, I’m telling you because who and what I just described is me.”
Gold goes on to say that he has “lots and lots of sex.”
“Sometimes it’s with multiple partners, and sometimes it’s twice a day,” he brags. “Sometimes it happens in the most unlikely of places. It can be sweaty, aggressive romps in cramped stairwells. It can be loud, passionate love-making in spacious lofts with stunning panoramic views. It can be quick, seedy one-offs in Midtown hotel rooms.”
Related: I Don’t: Six Kinds Of Relationships To Try Before, Or Instead Of, Marriage
But it’s not all glamour. Because despite having sex pretty much whenever and where ever with whomever he pleases, deep down Gold fears his insatiable sexual appetite may be ruining his chances of ever finding true, meaningful love.
“Is all of this sexual activity ruining the idea of traditional monogamy?” he wonders. “Is it just so easy to get laid these days that the sole idea of only having sex with one person is no longer desirable?”
He says he tried being in a relationship one time. It lasted seven months before he realized “I just wasn’t feeling sexually satisfied f*cking the same person night after night.”
Related: There’s A Lot Of Sex To Be Had When You’re Young, Single And Gay In New York
Gold admits that there’s something “very appealing” about settling down with one guy and starting a family together, but he fears he may not be suited for it.
“As attractive and secure as that sounds, I wonder, will it ever be enough?” he asks. “When you go from having multiple sex partners in a week, can you suddenly be satisfied with just one?”
What do you think? Have dating apps completely killed the chances for future generations of gay men to partake in monogamous relationships? Sound off in the comments section below.
Jason Sutton
It’s so cute when kids think they are the first to do things. New phone, same game.
Mike
I think I’m getting too old for this site.
JPinNC
me too.
Jere
This doesn’t seem like rocket science. Hooking up and pursuing long term relationships aren’t mutually exclusive, but if this person feels that hookups are getting in the way of pursuing relationships, then he needs to decide which is more important. If he decides he really wants a relationship, then he should stop hooking up with random guys. Is there something I’m missing here?
[email protected]
Sounds like a normal 20-something to me.
Sweetie Pie
What´s wrong with hooking up?
Chris
If you’re choice to have sex is interfering with your choice to pursue a long term relationship and/or to find love, then the solution is simple: pursue having an LTR. It’s called self control.
SteveDenver
Chances are that he’ll find it, then keep on fukking right past it to the next hook-up.
sportsguy1983
First World slut problems.
DDstar1me
@Mike…I think I am as well.
Wow…the energy it must take to hookup every night. I am getting too old for this site. lol
moldisdelicious
What a loser.
Gothrykke
@sportsguy1983 Thanks, I just snorted tea all over my keyboard. Also, you win!
moldisdelicious
Responsibility is apart of being an adult. Just hope that his ass also gets tested and has safe sex practices which I’m going to guess he probably doesn’t.
Paul
My LTR of 22 years began with a hook-up that turned out to be more. If the sex in the relationship doesn’t work out, nothing else will either, so hooking up isn’t a bad way to start.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@sportsguy1983: Holy shit that’s funny!! (Claps)
redcarpet30
Then he needs to get himself an open relationship. Problem solved. But he needs to realize even in an open relationship you probably shouldn’t be getting a new peice of ass every day, if only to protect your partner, so it would probably do him some good to dial it back at least some.
The way he speaks though, makes him sound like a bit of a sex addict. Like he’s lost any control or choice in how and when he has sex.
lauraspencer
He must be pretty easy and not too discerning when it comes to partners.
My friends and I talk about how we spend time on a variety of apps and never meet anyone. Just a bunch of boring back and forth and “more pics?” Nobody ever seems to meet. It is also difficult to find someone that you find physically attractive who then finds you attractive. I’d be curious to see who he is hooking up with.
alphacentauri
@SteveDenver: LMAO! Exactly. Guys like this are why they hate us. I would not be surprised if he’s HIV+ or has STDs or if he’s one of those silly Truvada whores that has raw/Bare back sex with a lot of poz men and thinks he’ll stay DDF/Neg, etc. when he’s just some dizzy queenie twink with a death wish.
GusBlogging
I really get his posts – Although I’m a bit younger I’m facing the same issue: It is hard to commit to someone when your distracted by many other “available” guys. I know how superficial that sounds, but I enjoy my life as a single a lot which makes it hard to commit.
This is actually one of the things I’m discussing on my blog as well. 🙂
Gus from http://www.gus-guyblog.com
SonOfKings
That ole loose bottom ho needs to slow his roll. This is ridiculous. Having a strong sex drive is no excuse for acting a damn fool outchea scrounging for new azz every night. My sex drive is strong as ever, but I don’t put myself out there every hour of every night like I was the town pump. I last had sex two or three months ago and, honey let me tell you, it was so good that was more than enough to last. I’m still basking in the afterglow. But I may be stepping out again this weekend…
bottom250
Sweetheart enjoy life. I love hooking up. It is part of the joy of being a gay effeminate bottom.
o.codone
@GusBlogging: Take a call on the dance floor? Okay, you’re 15, right? And what’s with that look on your face on your blog?
“I’m really trying to look like Kim Basinger wearing my boyfriend’s shirt after being fu ck ed in the face for the entire night”?
“I’m trying to look like that puppy in the window of the pet store who everybody says looks adorable”
“I’m siting on something, and when I move, it feels kinda good”.
Pick one, but for god’s sake get rid of that ridiculous pic.
David Jefferies
I’m available
moldisdelicious
@GusBlogging:
you know what you and that guy’s problem is. you’re too damn self absorbed to realize that it’s NOT all about you. YOU want a relationship? okay but a relationship involves TWO people, not yourself. all these guys engaging in hookups are basically all about themselves. same thing with open relationships. this whole ME, ME, ME thing and you know what…. think that guys should start masturbating a lot more instead of using each other because the only thing that’s going on is guys are fostering a sociopathic mentality where they don’t even know how to communicate or even treat the next guy. it’s sad. then these guys often wonder why they can’t find a man or why they can’t stay in a monogamous relationship or even an open relationship where they have to lie about who they’re sleeping with to their s/o.
bottom250
@GusBlogging: Sweetheart that is so me too.
Mike Smith
Took me way tooooo long – but monogamy is finally perfect.
Chris Duffy
“20-something blogger”. There’s your first, biggest problem.
Derek Perron
Stop hooking up
AndYouWillDeal
He won’t. The brain loses the capacity to form emotional attachments when one has lots of random, NSA sex.
Walter Delmar
Delete all the dating apps. Start with that.
DarkZephyr
“I just wasn’t feeling sexually satisfied f*cking the same person night after night.”
So its clear that sexual satisfaction is his number one priority, rather than loving and connecting with another person. If that is the case he should simply accept it and enjoy his life.
Captain Obvious
It’s so hard to learn how to masturbate before you leave the house. Isn’t that rule #1 for every guy under 40?
I don’t know why sluts nowadays are so proud of their slut status. They act like they’re trophies when they’re really bottom of the barrel and bringing nothing to the table.
If your only “relationships” are sex then you’re literally not valued as relationship material and you don’t value yourself either.
I hate being lumped in with these morons. If only I was born a few years earlier… Late 70s would’ve been nice.
enlightenone
@DarkZephyr: “So its clear that sexual satisfaction is his number one priority, rather than loving and connecting with another person. If that is the case he should simply accept it and enjoy his life.”
Just the right mind to be a “porn star,” right? I’m a fast learner! Thanks.
Markajv
Well, let me start out by LMAO at this “Confessions Of A Gay Man Looking For Love In The Hook-Up Generation” HAHAHAHAHA! Oh you Millennials. Your so cute……I mean STUPID! EVERY “Generation” (I hate that he segregated) is a “Hook Up” Generation. Hello! Just look at Str8 men. That’s all ya gotta do. You’re a guy, you want sex, you get sex, you go back to cave and eat banana.
There is a “Horrendous” advertisement for the drug “Truvada” which “Gilead” sponsored which shows porn (Hooker/Whore..not STAR)J.D.Phoenix. You can find it on YouTube named “I Like To Party” Watch it then do EXACTLY the opposite!! (It’s dangerous, horrendous marketing ad from a company that does not care about your health, they just want your money…..Oh wait that’s the American Dream!)
(If you are “Hooking Up” so much it’s become an addiction I would talk to your Dr. right away about maybe being put on this medication. If you are having safe sex 100% of the time with randoms I am talking Condoms always for anal sex, Condoms for oral sex (I know It sounds horrible but start counting how many times you have hooked up) you are still not 100% safe from catching some STD or worse H.I.V. (Believe me I know someone who got tested poz and he never had anal sex in is life, just oral) I’ll just leave you with that a you can trash it or run with it.
Here’s what I would say to someone in your horrible predicament. (Some Gay men don’t even get the chance to hook up because men in general are picky as shit and the reject rate is through the roof. Just look at Grindr. More rejection than connection because of all the “No Fat, Fems. Blacks, Asians, Fats,Fats….blah blah blah look at my headless shirtless cliche’ bathroom mirror chest pic and let’s meet and have sex…PFFFFT!!!!) – If you are at the point where your “Hook Ups” are interfering with your “Relationship Search” than I would say you don’t really want to stop “Hooking Up” So stop lying to yourself. Think about how selfish it would be if you did meet someone and started dating and committed but you still have to hook up. You’ll ruin what you say you want. Believe me I have been on the receiving end of cheaters in my life ….It is the worst way to treat someone you say you …even just “Like” let alone “Love”
Make a conscious decision what you REALLY want. If you can’t do that go see a therapist, psychiatrist or some professional and get it worked out….”Hooking up” is easy to do…..building a relationship that lasts forever is WAY harder. Use your brain! Make the decision. This is all on you!
……..and stop being a Millennial….I think that’s worse than anything else.
moldisdelicious
@DarkZephyr:
Lol. Wow. Smh. These dudes are doing it wrong. If you find a guy that satisfies you the right way, he is available and nothing is wrong with him, he’s a keeper. Im convinced that these guys that do a lot of hooking up have self esteem issues. They want to feel desired by other people so they go about it in the easiest way by fucking everybody that gives them the time of day. After awhile, you beginning to see that these guys are basically insecure and should be going to a therapist to figure out why they feel shitty about themselves and how to feel better. He knows he can’t handle a relationship because he aint mentally ready for one
Mykaels
Translation: kid in his 20’s. Got it. Moving on.
enlightenone
@Markajv: Watched the YouTube video, thanks! My comment:
Partying is one thing, being a “straight” or gay “slut” is another. It would help if we separate sex from partying, one is an intimate act that requires some responsibility and forethought (a clear head, no pun intended) with inherent consequences that could be life altering, and the other a recreational outlet! Popping a pill like it’s Gatorade is a slippery slope back to the pre-AIDS era.
Doughosier
There is no easy path. You have to decide. Going for a relationship means the sex can get dull but with hookups,time is the enemy. I assume the poster is good looking but before you know it, you’re not as attractive as you were and you can find yourself old and alone.
enlightenone
pre-AIDS era…Continued
We truly need to stop the lame rationale “I’m only human.” What makes us “human” is our ability to choose and control our impulses. Our sexual drive isn’t instinctive only, on automatic pilot! We’re NOT animals, right, or only when it’s convenient?
dannydan
Wow, despite this being one of the sluttiest news sites I know of, I’m surprised at the amount of rational people here in these comment sections, especially this one.
You guys have seriously given me a little more hope for our community.
I was starting to think that I was the only gay person alive that didn’t think with his dick.I’m glad I’m not the onlyone who sees the flawed logic with open relationships and being proud sluts.
People don’t like being refered to as sluts, but by definition, that is what is going on.
enlightenone
@dannydan: “…I was starting to think that I was the only gay person alive that didn’t think with his dick.I’m glad I’m not the onlyone who sees the flawed logic with open relationships and being proud sluts.”
Glad you weren’t disappointed this time. 🙂
As an “always OUT” gay man, I was a young sailor during the AIDS crisis. Freedom isn’t about sex without consequence, but rather the ability and support to love self and others openly. Not that there still isn’t an AIDS crisis, history can and does repeat itself!