While New York’s size queens were on the hunt for the city’s largest member this weekend, a group of people assembled at a bar in Brooklyn to collectively turn their backs on society’s obsession with big peens. Their mission was simple: To find the smallest penis in Brooklyn, and award it $200.
The Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Pageant attracted a handful of poorly-endowed men, and with confirmation from a teeny tiny ruler, event organizers crowned 27-year-old Queens resident Nick Gilronan as the man with “the smallest penis in Brooklyn.”
In an exclusive interview with Gothamist, this model/actor says he’s comfortable in his own skin, and blames the media for making men with small peens seem inadequate:
Gothamist: Half of the guys wore masks, but stood out and from the get-go were a crowd favorite—what can you say about that?
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Nick Gilronan:I’m very confident in my body, so no need to wear a mask. As for being a crowd favorite from the start, that totally caught me by surprise. When I contacted Aimee and Bobbie from Kings County Bar and confirmed my attendance, I immediately began to plan my set. I looked at the contest as a fun and entertaining event and intended to put on a good show for the audience. Looks like my efforts were successful.
G: Do you think that small dicks have a bad rep?
NG: Yes. That’s the media’s fault, I think. For both men and women, they push out images of people who just aren’t regular normal people. The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship. Same thing with breast size. We’re all made in different shapes and sizes, but the media puts pressure on people to look a certain way. Most people do not look that way. Some people let that false sense of body image upset them and they shouldn’t be upset at all. Even worse, some people use those false standards and judge other people. It’s disconcerting.
Congratulations, Nick! Stop by the Queerty office sometime and we’ll throw you an extra-special bearbeque.
You can find photos of all the event’s tiny penises at Gawker (link NSFW).
[Photo: Gothamist]
tardis
Interesting story to say the least.
See what I did there?
Sleepy
Most of these guys are a bit heavy and so their dicks are probably normal, just covered with fat… The winner, however, is… unique. I’m wondering if he’s intersex. He doesn’t have descended testicles and his penis is clitor-esque… Ch
hyhybt
It’s sad that a sentence stating where to find photos of penises has to have a NSFW warning attached.
Wingfield
I’m all for a smaller penis but jeez… Literally I don’t think that guy is capable of intercourse.
jeff4justice
Good for him. You gotta deal with the cards your dealt.
openguy
Doesn’t do it for me but the guy has way better self-esteem than I do
Tackle
I love this guys attitude, but I disagree with some things he said. It’s true that the size of a penis does not matter for who he is as a person, in a relationship. But it’s not all the medias fault. Anyone who’s had a personal experience with a small penis knows that there are certain things that they just cannot do. Example, a guy with a muscle or big butt. If you’re on your stomach wanting to be penetrated, a small penis cannot get past the ass-mounds to do the job. And I have seen gay porn with guys with small endowments, and every time they thrust back, the penis comes out. Not to be mean, but I think people, both men and women want to feel something more than just finger size.And the after affects like they have been damaged. But in a good way. But if a guy is a top, I guess penis size wouldn’t matter.
hyhybt
@openguy: I figure the size of mine doesn’t matter because nobody wants my clothes off anyway.
Fwan
Good for him. I admire how brave he is, knowing that the gay scene is very fixated on length-girth. And one thing I find interesting is that some of the comments go to the fact that he can’t have intercourse because of his small penis. Intercourse is not only penetration, so if he enjoys of a non-penetration based relationship, or if he prefers to bottom, there are 2 possibilities of having intercourse with a small dick.
nerovenus
I have had men with 13+ inches in my life, and men with less than 5! I am a bottom. Just say, there is a place for everyone! A big dick is no good of one does not know how to use it. A small guy who can use it can give more pleasure than a big guy who can’t use it!
dwndckd
Ohhh, I understand now! It relates to receiving an award for—“making no fucking sense at all!” So, when there is nothing meaningful to say, or do—just tell the world that you have a small dick… eureka! Fuck, why the hell didn’t I think of that?