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Masturbating Anti-Gay Pastor Caught Apologizing In Public

Yesterday Louisianan Reverend Grant Storms got caught masturbating near a children’s playground. He claimed he was just peeing in a bottle, but today he has made a tearful public apology for his “inappropriate, sinful actions.” But just so you know, he still wasn’t masturbating.

The self-admitted porn addict said that while he was parked near children he wasn’t looking at them; “I’m not a pedophile,” he said. “I’m not a child molester.” However, he did admit to looking at porn an hour before heading to the park (TMI, yo). As for his public fiddling: he admits being in his van with the seat reclined, his pants open, and his hands in his undies but stresses that he was NOT masturbating. We can buy that—sometimes you just gotta scratch an itch and keep on scratching until a passerby reports you to the cops.

So… he wasn’t masturbating but still calls his own actions “inappropriate” and “sinful”? Maybe his God disapproves of jock itch. Either way, he did accurately call himself a “hypocrite” and says he no longer works for the church that used to call the public sexual antics at Southern Decadence “illegal and immoral.”

“When I look back,” Storms said, “there was a lot of things I would have done differently. I was very proudful, I was very arrogant, I was very mean spirited at times and I apologize.” Thanks Stormy, but you’re in God’s hands now.

By:           Daniel Villarreal
On:           Mar 1, 2011
Tagged: , , ,

  • 11 Comments
    • Jack
      Jack

      ‘Proudful’?!

      Mar 1, 2011 at 4:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Harbo
      Harbo

      Well, he’s at least partially telling the truth. He is a “hypocrit” (he needs to brush up on his spelling), “he is very proudful, very arrogant, very mean spirited.”

      But I’m not buying the apology. If he hadn’t been stupid enough to get caught, he’d still be spewing his pack of hate-filled lies. Sorry, reverend, yopu’re still a sack of shit.

      Mar 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      I want these fuckers to keep dropping like flies. That sentiment probably makes me just as hateful as they are, but so be it.Out every last one, persecute them as they have persecuted us. I cannot stand these hypocrites. And dude, admit you were jerking off. Damnit, you were getting your jollies after looking at (more than likely gay) porn while looking at little kids.

      Mar 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gigi
      Gigi

      Crocodile tears. Don’t believe him! (Btw, his description of having his hand in his pants made me sick!!)

      Mar 1, 2011 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      QUEERTY: “Thanks Stormy, but you’re in God’s hands now.”

      LOL – The Rev could only hope he was in the hands of an alleged deity who by default condemns you to everlasting torture for the most trivial infraction but lets you off the hook if you grovel every so often, believe in the deity, and proclaim that the deity is “the man.” Alas, the Reverend will be in the hands of a judge. and any proclamations regarding the judge’s omnipotence will be ruled “irrelevant and immaterial”.

      Just to add some factual information, the term for the bottle the reverend claimed to use is a “pee bottle”, commonly used in tents on mountaineering expeditions at high altitudes, where high levels of fluid intake are useful and where stepping outside at night to pee can be very unpleasant due to harsh weather and extreme cold. It is usually advisable for the pee bottle to have a different shape than that of bottles used to store water – mental processes slow down at high altitude.

      Mar 1, 2011 at 6:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dennis kena
      dennis kena

      he needs to be destroyed. it’s the only way they will learn not to f**k with us.

      Mar 1, 2011 at 10:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jaroslaw
      Jaroslaw

      If he is truly sorry, pray to God and take your lumps. I see no point in his “confessing” to the TV cameras. He is not only giving crocodile tears as mentioned by GIGI, I think he’s mentally ill or a media whore or both. I’m guessing that if a passerby called the cops, he was probably pretty flagrant. (Most people are too self absorbed these days too notice too much.)

      Mar 1, 2011 at 11:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Taylor Siluwé
      Taylor Siluwé

      I didn’t even know ‘proudful’ was a word.

      Thanks pervert … I mean, Reverend. ;-)

      On another note, this guy should stop talking. That’s what lawyers are for – to keep dumba$$es from digging deeper holes for themselves.

      Mar 2, 2011 at 12:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 7 · Jaroslaw wrote, “If he is truly sorry, pray to God and take your lumps. I see no point in his “confessing” to the TV cameras. He is not only giving crocodile tears as mentioned by GIGI, I think he’s mentally ill or a media whore or both. I’m guessing that if a passerby called the cops, he was probably pretty flagrant. (Most people are too self absorbed these days too notice too much.)”

      He’s confessing on TV to fulfill a Biblical prophesy. “For lo it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a media whore to pass up a photo op.”

      Mar 2, 2011 at 1:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jaroslaw
      Jaroslaw

      B – I must have missed that verse in Bible Study! Funny!

      Mar 2, 2011 at 7:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • HD Gay Vid
      HD Gay Vid

      Shame on you !

      Mar 2, 2011 at 8:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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