Curmudgeonly Republican presidential candidate John McCain's campaign seems headed for disaster. The politico's failure, of course, can't be blamed on the fact that he continues to support the war in Iraq. No, no. There's a far more reasonable explanation: his wardrobe screams faggot. Via Radar:

In the final days of his imploding candidacy, John McCain has taken a page out of Richard Nixon's play book, finding increasingly bizarre explanations for his political failures. Strangest of all: He reportedly feels his handlers forced him to wear "gay sweaters."

According to one insider, the knit-picking was the crescendo of a tirade by the Arizona senator, in which he blistered aides about the minutiae of the campaign. While many septuagenarians live in a perpetual state of sweater weather, McCain reportedly declared his frustration with being told to don the perceived homosexual outerwear in order to look younger and more approachable.

McCain would need a sandblaster to look younger.