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Meet the Ex-Gay Who’s Married With a Newborn, But Avoids His Gayness By Doing ‘Guy Stuff,’ Like Roughhousing

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By now you’ve heard that conversion therapy is a farce. Trying to train the mind to refuse same-sex leanings? What do you think this is, an David Lynch film? With Iris Robinson’s reparative therapist friend Dr. Paul Miller being investigated by Britain’s medical oversight board, it’s a great time to look at some real-life patients of the therapy. At least one of whom considers himself cured.

Exorcism. Fasting. Marriage. Those are just a few of the tricks in the ex-gay book. And Anthony Venn-Brown, now 58 and a former Pentecostal preacher, tried them all over 22 years. And despite a wedding and raising two daughters, it didn’t take.

With Sydney’s Mardis Gras underway, Australia’s ABC host Monique Schafter talks to 29-year-old Haydn, who felt his homosexuality at age 14. But as a Christian, Hadyn says he was “unable to change myself. I see it as being a spiritual regeneration, as I trust god with my sexuality.” His wife Ji Hyun knows he’s an ex-gay.

But how does he deal with his same-sex attractions that remain? By doing guy things, duh! With his straight bro friendships, he goes to “play football together, go do guy things together, hang out with guys, just do guy stuff.” Uh. Huh. And one day, he says, “I think that one day I will reach a point where I’m not sexually attracted to men.”

In a post-show forum with viewers, Hadyn wrote, “Melissa, I don’t think God made me for this. In His good purpose, which I cannot understand, He gave me this to struggle with. Everyone has a cross to bear and this is mine. Why this? I may never know. He could have given me women to be attracted to, but instead He gave me this. It helps me to appreciate God as father and to draw close to the Dad that I never really had (emotionally speaking).”

By:           editor editor
On:           Feb 25, 2010
Tagged: , ,

  • 56 Comments
    • rf
      rf

      And baby makes 3…3 destroyed lives that is.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 3:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      note that this dude does not claim to be over his same-sex feelings, just trying to change his behavior to see if that will do it.

      Farewell, adieu, bon chance, and….until we meet again.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 3:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David in Houston
      David in Houston

      Wow. That is unbelievably sad. Hadyn not only destroyed his own life, but his wife and kids too. He’ll probably end up doing drugs or drinking alcohol to suppress his feelings. It’s not hard to imagine him trying to kill himself because he failed to become straight like his church wanted.

      I find it interesting that he admits that he is still attracted to men, and he never once said that he finds women attractive. It’s so heartbreaking to see what religion is doing to these people. They’d rather live their entire life in misery than anger an imaginary omnipresent being.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 3:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      Don’t sweat it. Plenty of these guys go through this phase. I didn’t play the vid, that stuff makes my skin crawl, but did he ever say he had made it with a guy? In any case, from the looks of him, he’s only as good as the first “Mr. Right” that comes along. Sad.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 3:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Enron
      Enron

      The guy has GAY written all over him.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 3:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stevenelliot
      stevenelliot

      UM if gay is by chance genetic, then he just created himself a potential homo by having that baby. Maybe the baby will grow up in a world that accepts it for what it is instead of changing it into something else……

      Feb 25, 2010 at 3:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      Don’t you just love the ex-gays who say things like “And in order to fight my attraction to men I’ve taken up the Manly sport of Nude Greco Roman Wrestling” I mean give me a break.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 3:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Adrian
      Adrian

      I love being gay, and a love it when I see happy older gay men. if you are a happy gay man between the age of 50-80 then I salute you!!! unhappy young gay guys should learn from their gay elders instead of praying to God to change their sexual orientation.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 4:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      And as for the chick, she knew what she was getting into, so I have no sympathy for her. Nor should she have any special consideration when the custody issue comes up.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 4:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey
      Qjersey

      Why do so many ex-gays and closet cases date and or marry asian women?

      Feb 25, 2010 at 4:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • terrwill
      terrwill

      @Qjersey: Good point, Possibly because Asian women tend to not have big boobs and look kinda boyish, so these pathetic self hating fags can imagine they are with who they really want to be with………..

      Feb 25, 2010 at 5:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • michael
      michael

      I think you’re being far too harsh on Haydn. He’s simply a bisexually oriented man who has been taught by religion to loathe his same-sex compoment. This is nothing new. It has happened through history and will continue to happen.

      Where Haydn is misguided is in this notion that he will one day not be attracted to men. This is a foolish, misguided notion. I think he should just accept his attractions and continue to be a good family man and father. He doesn’t need to act on his attractions to men if he doesn’t want to.

      The key is that he remain faithful to his wife if he wants to continue a relationship with her.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 5:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joseph
      Joseph

      I love being gay! I don’t understand why anyone would want to change themselves so much! It just boggles my mind. These “therapies” should be outlawed!

      Feb 25, 2010 at 5:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Acem
      Acem

      You know what, I’m not mad at him. At least he’s being honest and upfront, and isn’t deceiving his wife. If she can along with it, and they’re happy in this convoluted setup, then so be it.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 5:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DoodleNoodle
      DoodleNoodle

      The problem is really at the core of the “Bible’s” interpretation of “God”; a loathsome jealous serial killing freakazoid no better than any typical mythological greek God, that the real culprit lies. The second culprit are the myth pushers, the third culprit is the num-nut who buys it and takes up as an advertisement for such a Hollywood script.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 6:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DoodleNoodle
      DoodleNoodle

      ON another note, I’d rough house with Haydn any day!

      Feb 25, 2010 at 6:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David in Houston
      David in Houston

      @michael: There is no indication that Haydn is bisexual. He’s doing what most extremely religious self-loathing gay men do: pretend to be straight to please their angry God.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 7:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      No. 10 · Qjersey said…
      Why do so many ex-gays and closet cases date and or marry asian women?
      _________________________________

      Perhaps she is getting the Aussie Equivilent of a Green Card.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 7:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dontblamemeivotedforhillary
      dontblamemeivotedforhillary

      The U.S may need to open their eyes to the gay immigrant norm which resembles this relationship as the Gay lifestyle is still classified as “deviant” when it comes to immigration. There are so many Hollywood examples of this casually known as arranged marriages. Australia is mildly ahead on this matter but the European Union is the Gold (as in human) standard of acceptance. If we tore down these walls, would there be so many “Ex”-gays?

      You’re better off adopting your International Gay Lover…..

      Feb 25, 2010 at 7:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ogre Magi
      Ogre Magi

      and people wonder how the gay gene gets passed on.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 7:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      David in Houston,

      How do you know that Haydn mightn’t find women attractive as well as men? Where in the article does it say that Haydn is not attracted to women at all?

      As far as I’m concerned, if he was able to have sex with his wife, he’s bisexual in his orientation. The evidence points to him him being bisexually oriented.

      Why do so many gay men refuse to accept the bisexual orientation in men? Does it go against the gay cultist ideology?

      Feb 25, 2010 at 7:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Australia is very backward on gay rights. It’s a hole. Just yesterday, the federal parliament voted 45-5 against gay marriage. Nuff said.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 7:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris
      Chris

      Dan really failed at getting rid of his accent.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 7:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Endless Men
      Endless Men

      What is more sinful between being a gay christian or pretending, hiding the feeling that you are not gay?

      Feb 25, 2010 at 8:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brown Gay Al
      Brown Gay Al

      @Qjersey: The same reason you see Asian gays of 20 yrs with 40+ white gays. They want to date white so much its sickening. Have some self respect man.

      For the girls it doesn’t matter if the guy is an ex-gay as long as he is white. Privileges of being white I guess.

      Feb 25, 2010 at 8:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lj
      lj

      UH HUH. Sure. Right. Give me a break. Notice the ASIAN wife. No white girl would put up with that nonsense. Get a grip. You are a gay man.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 12:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rashid
      Rashid

      We only live once. There’s so little time and so much to take in. If you believe in God, then it is absolutely disgraceful to live your life without being true to yourself. How can you be true to your creator whom you love if you can’t be true to yourself and love yourself? It’s remarkable how people of all faiths lose sight of what life is all about: love. I say this as a gay, Muslim, Arab-American who has lived in the Middle East for almost two decades.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 1:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rf
      rf

      @lj: “Notice the ASIAN wife. No white girl would put up with that nonsense.”

      Um, tell that to Dina McGreevey.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 6:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"
      Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"

      Well, Haydn, all that effort denying yourself your desires to love your fellow man, swirling down the drain to hell, your pathetic sinner. Don’t you know you cannot wear blended fiber fabrics? Moses wrote that that too is an offense sin to God, and so it is STRAIGHT to hell for you. [And, while this isn't covered in the story or video, bet he enjoys bacon wrapped grilled shrimp too.]

      As per the comments about the child’s life in ruins, hmmmm, maybe the child will take notice of the father’s stupidity and learn. While it is certainly true that many children of alcoholics become alcoholics too; witnessing the ugly “Mr. Hyde” monster my Dad turned into when drunk taught me moderation and self-control.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 8:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jon
      Jon

      Yeah I read my Bible every day and I love Jesus and guys. These str8 camps are so silly.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 8:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hardmannyc
      hardmannyc

      I’ll bet those ex-gay programs are great places to get laid!

      Feb 26, 2010 at 9:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • terrwill
      terrwill

      @hardmannyc: Excellent point, I saw an interview with a Gay teen whos parents sent him to a “conversion camp” for Gay teens, to cast out the “Gay demons.” The interviewer asked him what kind of activities there were at the camp…..The kid replied “Bunch of Gay teens, alone in the woods, away from their parents for the first time. You do the math”……..Priceless

      Feb 26, 2010 at 10:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert, NYC
      Robert, NYC

      I’m glad I’m gay, happy, out and proud for years. I wouldn’t change places with any straight when I look around and see how they’re screwed up the world with their testosterone based oil wars, political corruption both here and elsewhere,oppression, philandering, soaring straight divorce rates while holding up the one man/one woman marriage mantra, welfare mothers popping out babies one after the other some with different men and then there are the absentee straight fathers ducking child support and WE’RE a threat to that by being allowed to marry? Whenever I look back at the past and the stigma, discrimination that we endure, I still would not want to change who I am. I believe in being true to oneself, no matter how hard it is.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 10:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      No. 21 · jason said…
      David in Houston,

      How do you know that Haydn mightn’t find women attractive as well as men? Where in the article does it say that Haydn is not attracted to women at all?

      As far as I’m concerned, if he was able to have sex with his wife, he’s bisexual in his orientation. The evidence points to him him being bisexually oriented.
      ________________________________________

      Being able to have sex with a woman doesn’t mean he enjoyed it. We can all have sex with our hands…does that mean that we are attracted to our hands? All of my TRUE bi-sexual friends would not have a problem with this situation because they are attracted to women and would be fine. The only reason he would be having issues is because he is NOT satisfied with the current relationship because he wants to be with men. Why is it you jump into every single thread and try to trumpet the bisexuality of these poor guys. If they were happy sleeping with women then they would sound just as relaxed and at peace with themselves as you do……..

      Feb 26, 2010 at 11:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert, NYC
      Robert, NYC

      How on earth can a bisexual man or woman stay married to the same person knowing they have this other side to them that in many cases they often can’t contain? Why would someone be so dishonest and marry someone and not tell them? What’s the point in marrying? How do they manage it living a double life, often a life of deceit and deliberate deception at that? Then it begs the question, why get married if you can’t be true to your marriage vows, what’s the point? To me its living a lie if they can’t come clean with their spouses who aren’t bi? That’s nothing more than sham marriages. It would be different if both were bi I suppose, but lets face facts, just how many of those marriages exist? I’d say not many.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 11:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      @Cam: I second your thoughts and add that he wouldn’t feel the need to go public like this either. By doing so he’s trying to convince himself more than anyone else. But he’s only 23; he’ll find out soon enough that life is short, but the nights are long if you go this route. If he’s gay, then it’s pretty certain that if and when he has sex with his wife, she isn’t the one in his mind that’s helping him do the deed. She might as well not even be in the bedroom. What he’s talking about isn’t sex, it’s just semen transmission.

      More to the point, I watched part of a gay magazine show on cable the other night. It looks like it’s on semi-regularly, but I didn’t catch the name. Had a ditzy but hot lipstick lesbian hosting. One segment was a documentary about some Iranian men living in legal limbo in the UK trying to get asylum. One of them’s partner had been executed, publicly, in Iran before he could get him out. Another fellow was trying to get citizenship so he could get his partner out, who was still in hiding in Iran. Another segment was about a gay policeman in Jamaica who is regularly abused and even beaten by HIS FELLOW OFFICERS once they found out. Interesting that he refused to leave Jamaica because he didn’t want to be chased out of his own country. And all these guys are still gay. Haydn ought to consider if his pathetic ass has any answers.

      Pretty sure Jesus is more interested in those guys than this conformist, weakling Aussie.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 12:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      How many straight guys could bear up under what we do, even in relatively open countries like America and Australia?

      Ex-gays don’t show me shit.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 12:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony Venn-Brown
      Anthony Venn-Brown

      Its hard not to pull the age card here…..but possibly Haydn is me…….30 years ago. Loving being a husband and father, struggling with same sex orientation more than I could ever let on…….believing it was evil……and eventually if I tried hard enough…..one day God would make me totally heterosexual. I remember those days well.

      Life today is wonderful as a fully out proud gay man.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 3:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • romeo
      romeo

      Thanks for the input, Anthony (#38). I rest my case.

      Feb 26, 2010 at 8:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Luis
      Luis

      Oh please, this Asian woman just got married to that little shit just to get the Australian residence.

      Better be married to a self loathing faggot than go hungry back in China…. right?????

      Feb 26, 2010 at 9:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james
      james

      What are these Australians trying to be? Stupid Americans?

      Feb 26, 2010 at 11:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lily
      lily

      Well as an Asian lesbian I can say that there’s still a perception in China that gayness can be suppressed, so she probably bought this crap. There are a lot of gay men in China who have families and perhaps gay sex on the down low isn’t seen as threatening to a marriage as an affair to a woman. Plus the younger generations of women in East Asia seem to like it when guys play a little gay (eg male pop stars pretending to kiss, gay movies being quite popular) so maybe she’s not too concerned if he’s bisexual.

      I saw lots of cute young gay couples holding hands when I was last in Shanghai :)

      Feb 27, 2010 at 7:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J M
      J M

      man,i just have to say this again:

      What I think is so amazing about religion is that they offer a bargin that is so unbeliveably preposterious that anybody in their right mind would immediately reject such nonsense as ridiculous and would probably even think the person suggesting it was probably insane….yet nobody even thinks of this when this crazy idea is put forth from religion….we’re all conditioned to not even consider that the sanity of the person speaking it is probably in a very real questionable state…

      here it is, imagine this: if somebody came up to you and offered you a bunch of rules to live by which the bulk of made no real sense and goes against what it even means to be human AND in return for obeying all these crazy rules you will get a great big prize! the very best prize! and you would get it AFTER YOU DIE. and it would be that you would have another life, AFTER YOU DIE at some place nobody has ever been to to prove it exists, you’ll just have to take the word for it from somebody else who has never been their either. nobody has ever proved it exists.

      haha, and then they also tell you that you can’t just brush this off, cause nobody has ever proved that it DOESN’T exist. which makes no sense. holding out hope based on the fact its not actually disproved to exist. yet nobody can prove it and never has been able to, inspite of millions and millions of people who believe it over the centuries. then they say, well, faith is what it’s all about.

      hahaha.

      isn’t that INSANE? what i don’t understand is why everybody who goes around talking about this in this manner and believing the religion isn’t immediatly taken away to an insane insylum. AND, we let our KIDS hear this, and let those crazies teach kids that nonsense. in any other arena except religion, any teacher teaching children such massive lies would immediately be fired, and probably brought up on charges of harm to a child.

      getting your prize, AFTER YOU DIE. why doesn’t everybody see the absolute insanity and massive deception or fraud that this really is? in a legal sense, to claim this and then collect money for the spred of this would, in any other place but religion, be legally prosicutable fraud and the places it was done would be closed and the people running it be jailed, and featured on many Dateline episodes of criminal activity.

      but, call it religion, and you can lie and decieve and take money for fraud and promise anything you want that can’t be proved, nor do the ones spreading the lies ever have to, personally, deliver on those promises. no wonder those big preachers at those tv churchs are so rich, and yet they’re not in jail or the insane asylum.

      what a crazy world.

      Feb 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony Venn-Brown
      Anthony Venn-Brown

      Hi James……this might give you and insight into what is happening in Australia

      http://alifeofunlearning.blogspot.com/2009/11/australias-ex-gay-world-clock-is.html

      Feb 28, 2010 at 2:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony Venn-Brown
      Anthony Venn-Brown

      BTW…..there is an extended version of this segment which in not veiwable for overseas people. It has my daughter making a very important statement. I’ll let you know when it is up on youtube

      Feb 28, 2010 at 2:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Klarth
      Klarth

      @terrwill:

      No…I think it’s more about some willingness to put up with the situation that women of other backgrounds might not tolerate.

      We racial/ethnic minorities are always receiving messages to “marry up”, meaning into white culture. Maybe this Haydn has a good job and comes from the right kind of family, so her folks were down with this.

      or, maybe they really do love each other, in spite of teh ghey. Who knows?

      I do wonder about bringing children into such an arrangement, though. People always think having kids will solve problems, or change people, or cement relationships, when all it does is create a flawed/broken foundation for the child(ren)’s life/lives. *SMH*

      Feb 28, 2010 at 4:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      I have to say it but the subject of the article (Haydn) is SO far up the river!

      Feb 28, 2010 at 5:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert, NYC
      Robert, NYC

      J. M. #43…quite right. Also, nobody ever died and came back to prove the existence of an afterlife or a supreme deity. Its all about instilling fear, the only way religious cults over the millenia have been able to control the minds of people who can’t think independently for themselves. It hasn’t changed and it never will. Note how many people suddenly cling to religion when something goes awry in their lives, even the most hardened criminals. Its nothing more than reflex action as a result of centuries of indoctrination, similar to the argument against marriage equality, all religious cult based.

      The light that some believe is the afterlife is, according to scientific fact, the very simple lack of oxygen to the brain. Its similar to when you get an electric short (burnout) from an outlet, a spark of light often emerges briefly, then disappears. Likewise, when the oxygen is gone, the processes grind to a halt. The electricity in your brain is unable to travel across the gap between the neurons, and everything in your brain stops hence an explosion of what appears to be light. This is death. Every electrical impulse that existed in the brain before death is still there afterwards for approximately 15 minutes, a known fact among the scientific community. There is not futher evidence of another level of existence once that has taken place or of a supreme deity, nobody has ever seen it who has had a near-death experience but there are some who claim that the light is the supreme being, arguably NOT.

      Feb 28, 2010 at 9:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • whatevah
      whatevah

      I have tremendous empathy for Haydn and his family and what the future will be for them. When Haydn realizes his attraction to men is not going to go away I hope he will be alright and not do himself harm.

      Anthony thank you for sharing your story and experience. I’ll be checking back to see your daughter on u-tube.

      Feb 28, 2010 at 4:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ann
      Ann

      @Robert, NYC… as a bisexual woman, I take issue with some of your statements. I have had committed relationships with both men and women and never felt the need to act on my sexual attractions to the sex opposite of that of my partner while in those relationships.

      That’s like saying nobody should be in a committed relationship because there’s always going to be someone outside that relationship they may be sexually attracted to. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is two men, two women, a woman and a man, a bi woman and straight man, a bi man and a straight woman or any other combo you can think of. If a person is in a committed relationship or marriage, none of that matters.

      Sure, some relationships break down due to sexual infidelity, but that happens no matter what the sexual orientations are. Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons, not just infidelity.

      I guess I just get tired of being accused of not being capable of fidelity just because I’m bi. It’s a load of crap.

      Mar 3, 2010 at 3:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Edward Toyebo
      Edward Toyebo

      Very interestring. When Haydn’s children grow up, what message will be sent if and when HIS children come out. Always a strong possibility since sexual orientation is not a learned process. This is by no means a judgement but fact.

      My coming out was not easy. There was the struggle with IS IT POSSBILE I’M STRAIGHT. I had a girlfrieind back in high school. At one point we thought we were pregnant. Both her family and mine were ready to accept our decisions on the matter. Turns out she was two months late on her period.

      Religion reared it’s ugly head. Our father was an ordained minister. His stance on homosexuality was then very firm. I was destined for eternal damnation. For years I rejected any notion there was a God.

      All that was such a long time ago. I am now approaching fifty years of age. I have god in my life now. It took some time to find Him. He is a loving god who is all inclusive, never exclusive. How I view my sexual orientation is based upon spiritual values, not religious teachings.

      What I would like to say about anyone strggling with thier sexual orientation and religion: our sexual orientations are God given. They are gifts. How we conduct ourselves and use these gifts should be the MORAL DEBATE, not that we in fact use them.

      Mar 20, 2010 at 5:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony Venn-Brown
      Anthony Venn-Brown

      so true Edward……Its often a generational thing. People from our era got married…..then came out later in life. People of my Dads era didn’t come out and many never acted on their same sex orientation. Hayden is unusual in that he is doing something that is becoming less and less common. We now know that even if you marry the orientation never changes. So the best you can hope for is a level of ‘heterosexual functionality’. Eventually though the disconnect of who you really are and the person you are presenting as has negative impacts. The longer it takes to deal with that the more difficult it is for everyone involved. Wife….children and the person themselves.

      I’vew worked with 100’s of people in this situation the stories are always the same.

      Anthony Venn-Brown
      An Ambassador for the GLBT Community
      Award winning author of ‘A Life of Unlearning – A Journey to Find the Truth’
      Co-convenor of Freedom 2 b[e]
      Honoured to be on the 2007 & 2009 list of the 25 Most Influential Gay & Lesbian Australians
      “The enemy is ignorance”
      “My morality is a choice, my sexual orientation however isn’t’
      ‘When we choose to live authentically, we chip away at others’ prisons of pretend’
      Blog: http://alifeofunlearning.blogspot.com/
      Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/gayambassador
      Become a fan of ‘A Life of Unlearning’ on Facebook
      Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/gayambassador
      My YouTube Channel is here http://www.youtube.com/user/avb7

      Mar 20, 2010 at 9:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony Venn-Brown
      Anthony Venn-Brown

      so true Edward……Its often a generational thing. People from our era got married…..then came out later in life. People of my Dads era didn’t come out and many never acted on their same sex orientation. Hayden is unusual in that he is doing something that is becoming less and less common. We now know that even if you marry the orientation never changes. So the best you can hope for is a level of ‘heterosexual functionality’. Eventually though the disconnect of who you really are and the person you are presenting as has negative impacts. The longer it takes to deal with that the more difficult it is for everyone involved. Wife….children and the person themselves.

      I’vew worked with 100’s of people in this situation the stories are always the same.

      Anthony Venn-Brown
      An Ambassador for the GLBT Community
      Award winning author of ‘A Life of Unlearning – A Journey to Find the Truth’
      Co-convenor of Freedom 2 b[e]
      Honoured to be on the 2007 & 2009 list of the 25 Most Influential Gay & Lesbian Australians
      “The enemy is ignorance”
      “My morality is a choice, my sexual orientation however isn’t’
      ‘When we choose to live authentically, we chip away at others’ prisons of pretend’

      Read more: http://www.queerty.com/meet-the-ex-gay-whos-married-with-a-newborn-but-avoids-his-gayness-by-doing-guy-stuff-like-roughhousing-20100225/comment-page-2/#comment-283369#ixzz0iln3YQ1l

      Mar 20, 2010 at 9:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony Venn-Brown
      Anthony Venn-Brown

      this article on situational heterosexuality might answer a few questions.

      http://alifeofunlearning.blogspot.com/2010/04/most-misunderstood-concept-in-ex-gay.html

      Apr 6, 2010 at 9:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Miridigi
      Miridigi

      Hi,

      I know that most of the comments on here are older, and no one may see this, but I wanted to say that I am a Christian who fully supports homosexuals being open about their sexuality and living in relationships with one another.

      I think my fellow Believers have done a great injustice to the Gay community when we try to tell you that your sexual orientation is a sin and something that you have made a choice about.

      I truly do believe that God made you with your sexual orientation, just as he made me with mine (I’m straight btw). The fact that you have been accused of living in sin based on who you are sexually attracted to is asinine to me. I’m constantly reminded of when Jesus was asked by the religious leaders of His time which the greatest commandment was. his answer was simple and beautiful “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart’. And the second is like it ‘Love you neighbour as you love yourself'”. I challenge my brothers and sisters to show me how being gay is not showing love to others. How is being gay on the same level as theft, murder, cheating, paedophilia, bestiality etc? Correct me if I’m wrong, but when two gay people enter into a relationship with one another, they are both consenting to it and intend to show love to each other. This is nowhere near the same as abusing a child sexually (basically rape, but with a special name) or molesting an animal (the animal is being forced), no one would want to have sex forced on them, but this isn’t the case in a gay relationship.

      In closing, I want to apologize for the persecution that the Church has put Gays through, and hope that they can forgive us, imperfect as we are, for not properly reflecting God’s love to you, and giving many of you a false view of an angry god who hates you for who you are.

      Aug 9, 2011 at 2:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • maiq
      maiq

      wauw Monique Schafter you’re a pretty!
      i like your accent & smile (verry much)

      greetings from maiq. (the Netherlands)

      Sep 23, 2011 at 8:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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