Michael Lucas knows you want to know every detail of his day. That’s why the ageless porn mogul posted a very special rundown of his actions on May 8th, 2007. It’s a pretty typical day. Lucas has breakfast with his boyfriend, runs his highly successful business and chats with a lovely German mag, EreXXXion. Nothing spectacular.
Until around the five o’clock mark. That’s when things got heavy…
5:00 PM — Came across a link to Queerty.com that someone sent me. Hadn’t read anything so hateful towards me in a long time. I was surprised how it really put me down. It made me feel like I didn’t want to continue working at this point, so I left for home early.
5:30 PM — While walking home I was thinking to myself that, Yes, perhaps I am really vain. But I kept in mind the nature of the business I am in. Do I really look as ugly as this blog portrays me? I am 35… is this just a pre-midlife crisis? I really shouldn’t read hateful blogs. On the other hand, the guy who writes that thing is probably making $7 an hour, has never traveled anywhere beyond New Jersey, and is definitely not on my comp list. Maybe I am just getting more sensitive with age. Maybe…
Oh no! Poor Michael. We’re sorry, you pouty love machine. We didn’t know that comparing you to that dreadful old hag, Medusa would cut so deep. You’re nothing like Medusa. Honest. But don’t worry, your face has definitely turned – and will continue to turn -many a man into stone. Wink, wink…
As for your description of us – we’ve never felt so close to you. Seriously. It’s as if you’ve written our life story! It’s so spot on, it’s sort of creepy. Now we know what Rockwell feels like…
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Hopefully Lucas will find it in his heart to forgive us. We’re even willing to look past the temporal liberties (we know for a fact he saw our good-hearted ribbing before five o’clock). Even if Lucas doesn’t forgive us, we’ll rest easy knowing he’s got loads of love and support:
10:30 PM — …Checked my inbox, where I had an email from Harvey Fierstein. I haven’t heard from him in at least two months. He said he loved how my column is going in the New York Blade, so I emailed him back. His words made me fell much better. Life isn’t so awful after all… There are still people who like me. 🙂
Emoticon, indeed. Here’s one for you, Mr. L: – from us to you.
Editor’s Note:
We still haven’t decided which Lucas-endorsed image we want to use as his permanent picture. We’re leaning toward the second one from the aforementioned post. Thoughts?
Also, are we the only ones who think those emoticon hearts look like farts? Stop using them. People think you’re just passing gas…
George W. tush
There’s no reason to bow to his demand that you use one of his air brushed press photos. There are good reasons not to use them. Specifically, they are not good photos. They are boring. In each, it seems as if he’s peering into a mirror. The photos are boring and publishing them only makes you blog boring.
The pic of him black with his shirt open is much, much better than any of his recent press portraits.
christian_value
thank you so much queerty for making my day! I was in a REALLY bad mood and reading this story about Michael Lucas totally cheered me up because I was rolling with laughter. Who would’ve thought that someone who makes a living off having sex on camera while managing to maintain a perfectly pouted facial expression devoid of emotion could be so sensitive? I really have to say an extra special thanks to Michael Lucas himself. I REALLY insist that he keep posting his daily thoughts so that we can all laugh our troubles away!
J.T.
I tried to leave a comment on Lucas’ blog telling him to quit whining and “suck it up,” but he must moderate his comments. The only ones he has allowed to be posted are talking about how mean and awful queerty is and how beautiful Lucas is. I think I may have just gotten nauseous.
naprem
Aww, did poor little rich boy get upset? Boo hoo.
Ronita
This guy is a total idiot — I’m embarrassed he’s gay.
Jack Scribe
He reminds me of an aging Paris Hilton in drag. Michael, here’s a beauty hint: the knee and elbow skin is the first to go.
dons888
🙂
I love Queerty.
bob
I want my last 5 minutes back. ML is a waste of time.
Allandale
Girls, girls girls! Stop fighting! You’re both ugly!
What is this, some kind of sick gay downward-spiral symbiosis? Why does Michael Lucas give a shit about Queerty? Why does Queerty give a shit about Michael Lucas? Who told either of the above that they actually matter two shits?
Jesus, all of you need to get over yourselves and each other.
anaemi easy
Umm, who is Michael Lucas? Sorry, I don’t own a TV.
Kit
I guess I just don’t know my emoticons. When I read “I guess I just don’t know my emoticons. When I read “<3," I thought you were offering up your bared backside. Considering the subject, mooning Mr. Lucas seemed an appropriate response. But showing you have a "heart" on for him works too.
jose
i would love to see him trying to cry with all his botox.
fang
couldn’t resist posting this, seen as Queerty is having a Milchael Lucas ‘Pout-a-thon’ right now! lol
fang
oops – forgot the link! Damn that pout, it’s getting me all verklempt!
http://www.youtube.com/v/-lnRhzH5Ug8
fang
and after that, i’m sure you’ll all be gagging (no pun intended!) for more of the trout pout’s uhh…. interesting interviewing style:
http://www.youtube.com/v/zszgzDdOLME