Queerty is better as a member

Log in | Register

Michael Lucas Hates Himself

michaellucasasarab1.jpg
Finally, a Michael Lucas feud we can endorse! The pugnacious porn producer launched a fresh crusade today against – gasp! – himself!

Russian born Lucas sent out an open letter today questioning why one of his flicks, The Intern, won more GAYVN honors than another title, Gigolo. He complains that Gigolo received “raging” reviews and basically pleads that the GayVN’s recognize the penis-heavy piece as the masterpiece he perceives it to be. Be sure, however, that Lucas does not want to raise the comparative bar too high:

My company has many questions about this situation. I do want to be clear: I am NOT comparing “Gigolo” to any other company’s work. I am making a simple comparison to this movie and “The Intern.” Even a retard wouldn’t make the mistake that “Gigolo” is on a totally different planet. It’s like comparing champagne to Coca-Cola, like comparing a diamond to a rock.

What sort of rock? Something hard and craggy, we’re sure…

Read the entirely narcissistic conspiracy after the jump…

Though I was happy to win four GAYVNs last night to become the third most award-winning studio of the year, I wanted to express my big concern that all of my awards were for the movie “The Intern.” “The Intern,” I agree, is a great comedy, but it could not be compared or put anywhere close to the same level of “Gigolo.” In fact, there were some absolutely ridiculous moments last night. For example, “The Intern” won Best-Renting Title of 2007. I am my own distributor, and I know we sold at least twice as much of “Gigolo” than “The Intern.” My accounting is available for that.

The reviews for “Gigolo” were outstanding. After being in the business for 12 years, I can tell you that the packaging was absolutely stunning and incomparable to any other cover. It was created and shot by Tony Dimarco, who has been in photography for 13 years. The art direction by Tony was outstanding. Take a look at the cover once again… only a blind person wouldn’t see what I’m talking about. The videography by Tony and Mr. Pam could only be compared to mainstream productions. So could the amazing screenplay, also written by Tony.

Last year I won the award for Best Actor in “Michael Lucas’ La Dolce Vita,” where I did nothing but walk around New York City with a sad look on my face. In “Gigolo,” I had a very complex part, which, according to many reviews, was the best performance in porn. And how come none of the other actors were acknowledged? Ray Star was brilliant.

This film got raging reviews, where everyone was comparing it to a mainstream feature with five-star sex. What kind of mystery is there for such an acclaimed film not getting awarded at all? Not for one category? I talked to many reviewers last night who were stunned by this fact, reviewers who were in fact judges and who actually told me that they voted for this film. What I’m hearing now is that this movie didn’t get to all the judges and was accidentally sent to Specialty Publications where it was sitting for some time before getting shipped to GAYVN. And I found out about that just now.

My company has many questions about this situation. I do want to be clear: I am NOT comparing “Gigolo” to any other company’s work. I am making a simple comparison to this movie and “The Intern.” Even a retard wouldn’t make the mistake that “Gigolo” is on a totally different planet. It’s like comparing champagne to Coca-Cola, like comparing a diamond to a rock. “Gigolo” is a serious feature that sold in comparably higher numbers and had higher production values, a serious storyline, and impeccable art direction, screenplay, and packaging.

I have many questions, and I need the answers.

I am fine for not ever being recognized as the Performer of the Year. I am fine having never being admitted into the Hall of Fame after all these glorious reviews about challenging the industry to create bigger blockbusters and raising the industry bar. I’m just asking about the comparison between my two films. If Tiger Tyson is more deserving, than I am, then I respect it. But I’m just talking about the reviewers own reviews, their own feedback about both of those films.

So what went wrong with “Gigolo” that it got nothing? If you praised “Gigolo” as a groundbreaking film, then acknowledge it. “Gigolo” is a serious feature that was raved about. “The Intern” is a cute comedy. What went wrong? Where is the common sense? I want the answers.

I don’t want to hear from any other companies on this matter. I am not comparing my films to theirs… only to each other. And I cannot derive any sense out of this comparison.

By:           Andrew Belonksy
On:           Feb 17, 2008
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
  • 10 Comments
    • M Shane
      M Shane

      not even coherant.

      Feb 17, 2008 at 8:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DavidDust
      DavidDust

      Oh God, here we go again…

      Feb 17, 2008 at 9:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hipsz
      hipsz

      wha?????

      Feb 17, 2008 at 11:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dawster
      Dawster

      we are talking about PORN here… right? i mean… am i missing something?

      Feb 17, 2008 at 11:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • -M-
      -M-

      Somebody needs to get a day job… seriously.

      Feb 17, 2008 at 11:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hells kitchen guy
      hells kitchen guy

      Jesus, it’s like what Woody Allen said in Annie Hall, they give out awards for everything out there.

      Feb 18, 2008 at 3:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dons888
      dons888

      I compare it to something like a constipated turd. Michael Lucas gets an award for a porn movie and he thinks its the nobel prize.

      Feb 18, 2008 at 8:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • seitan-on-a-stick
      seitan-on-a-stick

      Is this what Crystal-induced dementia sounds like or are all porn stars, like, retarded? (apologies to people with diminished mental capacity who rightly take offense to this word)

      Feb 18, 2008 at 9:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack Jett
      Jack Jett

      WTF?

      Feb 18, 2008 at 11:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DCLadyGov
      DCLadyGov

      I like the guy. It is his lips or something – give him a break:)

      Feb 18, 2008 at 2:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

    Add your Comment

    Please log in to add your comment

    Need an account? Register It's free and easy.



  • QUEERTY DAILY

     




    FROM AROUND THE WEB

    Copyright 2014 Queerty, Inc.
    Follow Queerty at Queerty.com, twitter.com/queerty and facebook.com/queerty.