Michael Lucas sure has his hands full – and we're not talking cock here. Not only does the porn producer have that nasty copyright infringement lawsuit, but he's got a former assistant's proposed tell all to worry about.

Long-time staffer Heather Fink (who you may know by her nom de porn assistant: Heather Reznor) has announced plans to write a memoir of her time with good old Michael. Rush & Molloy report:

…Fink is writing a tell-all about her time in "the only industry where I was never sexually harassed – gay porn."

But Lucas, despite baring all of himself in flicks like "The Bigger the Better," is taking legal action to clamp his former mouthpiece. "There's a lot to tell," Fink told us. "My trip to the dildo factory; getting a crazy, incoherent phone call from Boy George the day before he was arrested, demanding that we messenger DVDs, that [Michael] wore underpants with butt padding. Layers of them."

Wait, a part of Michael Lucas' body isn't real? What a fucking shocker!

If you think that revelation's ugly, apparently Fink's been sending Lucas pictures of doo-doo. That's right: straight up shit. Of his electronic love droppings, Lucas says she's acting like a scorned lover, insisting, "I don't want to deal with her at all, because of the obscenity of her E-mails. And the quantity of them. We were never lovers." No shit Sherlock.

The lawsuit and book are the least of Lucas' troubles, though – there've been mad rumors that another, rival porn company's on its way to NYC. More on that one later…