College football star Michael Sam became the first openly gay athlete to be drafted by a professional sports team today, when the St. Louis Rams selected him number 249 in the 7th round of the National Football League draft.
Sam, a defensive lineman, joins basketball player Jason Collins--who played with the National Basketball Association’s Brooklyn Nets with great success this season–in reaching a historic pro sports milestone this year.
Sam shared tears of joy–and several beautiful kisses–with his boyfriend upon the learning of the news via a phone call from the Rams while at home with family and friends.
Congrats to Sam and all the courageous athletes and activists whose sacrifices over many years made this incredible moment possible.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Watch history unfold live (and ready the tissue!):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW-_fFdkegs
Blackceo
Saw it live and it was a beautiful moment!!! Congratulations to Sam and his lucky boyfriend. It is a great moment and one to be recognized for sure but I hope that eventually the focus will simply be on a man playing football and how many sacks or interceptions he can get.
NG22
I’m so proud of Michael. He has already made it farther than any other openly gay football player. If he’s able to officially make the team after training camp, it will be a joyous day for the LGBT community–regardless of one’s interest in football. And how convenient that he doesn’t even have to move. He gets to stay in Missouri. Win-win.
I know some of the fellow black guys may not appreciate that Michael is playing in the snow, but I really find he and Vito to make a sexy couple. You just know they’re having some crazy intense blowout sex tonight!
Happy for them. Proud of them. All my love.
Aromaeus
@NG22: “playing in the snow” I’m going to use that now whenever I talk to my friends about hooking up with a white guy.
NG22
@Aromaeus: Not my phrase! But I like how it sounds too.
Mezaien
The haven will bless you sweet couple. Walk up straight, be strong and show them all who you really are congratulation and all the love from me, AdamHomo
tardis
Jesus Christ. Good for him! So happy for him and them!
DK
@NG22: Ha, I love the term “playing in the snow” — running joke between me and my college roommate who had a thing for white girls, haha.
This was a beautiful moment, historic, and ESPN did something right for once and handled it perfectly: with silence, just letting the scene unfold. You can see the pressure melting off him and his boyfriend, and even my cranky, cynical heart warmed, broke, and melted at the same time as he and his boyfriend cried together.
Just by being visible he’s a pioneer and doing it with grace and dignity. And I hope it leads to the day when for for other talented gay athletes this is no longer a “moment” and just another step in their careers.
Well done, Michael Sam.
P.S. He is also unbelievably hot, in a non-stereotypical way. Would be refreshing to see more Michael Sams represented in gay-themed media rather than the usual parade of Hitler Youth, Abercombie-Bel Ami twinks, and straight guys we’re supposed to obsess over.
NG22
@DK: Right? Michael is so hot. As far as I’m concerned, he became a black gay sex symbol overnight. As BlackCeo said, lucky boyfriend–he gets to have that bawdy, and the D.
Desert Boy
Michael is drafted! Woo Hoo! The “kiss” is the icing on the cake!
Blackceo
According to Outsports.com the number of requests for Michael Sam jerseys is “ridiculous”. NFL is scrambling to try and fulfill the demand.
@Aromaeus:
“Playing in the snow” is my phrase I used in the Derrick Gordon/Gerald McCullouch thread, but I happily welcome anyone who wants to use it. I actually came up with it while I was at university and saw one of my friends literally frolicking in the snow with some white guy. From that point on I have referred to a black guy with a white guy as playing in the snow.
Blackceo
@DK:
@NG22: Ha, I love the term “playing in the snow” — running joke between me and my college roommate who had a thing for white girls, haha.
Ahhhh….ok so I’m not the only one who has thought of that. I have never met or heard anyone else use that term until now. I just love that phrase. Do you also use “rapping on the mic”. Thats my other kiki phrase for sucking D. Whenever I would speak in code about something in public I would ask my friend “did he/she rap on the mic?”
DK
@NG22: Ha. Touche’, but as far as I’m concerned he’s just a gay sex symbol, not a black gay sex symbol.
I think it’s time for the Jim Crow level of separation and segregation in the gay community’s representation of its own sexuality to end, and to challenge the circular “the market decides” logic that mainstream attractiveness only has one look — everything else has to be compartmentalized and have its otherness pointed out.
Nobody refers to Tom Daley and Matt Bomer as a ‘white gay sex symbols’ they’re just a gay sex symbols. And so is Big Mike. 🙂
DK
@Blackceo: I’ll ask my buddy where we got that from. Knowing us, it was a rap song or a movie. I tried to look for an origin but couldn’t find it — Google has several references to “playing in the snow” vis a vis interracial relationships dating back over a decade but it was a thing at my college when I was a freshman and that was…well, I don’t want to date myself, but yeah, haha.
ppp111
According to an article prior to the draft, about half a dozen closeted NFL and college active players contacted him offering support. Obviously he didn’t name any but I have to admit I’m curious as to whom they are.
Blackceo
@DK:
I think it’s time for the Jim Crow level of separation and segregation in the gay community’s representation of its own sexuality to end, and to challenge the circular “the market decides” logic that mainstream attractiveness only has one look — everything else has to be compartmentalized and have its otherness pointed out.
Nobody refers to Tom Daley and Matt Bomer as a ‘white gay sex symbols’ they’re just a gay sex symbols. And so is Big Mike. 🙂
————————————————
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ALL OF THAT!!!! SPEAK ON IT!!! PREACH!!! I can’t clap hard or loud enough!! We constantly going on about how others treat us when we have sh*t in our own yard that needs to be addressed and cleaned up.
GayBacon
Ugh, his boyfriend is so lucky! Sam is a hunk!
Wolfwalk
So happy that Michael gets to stay in Missouri, although I’m in KC and a Chiefs fan. Would have been wonderful if the Chiefs had picked him, but at least he’s still in Missouri. A great athlete with a great future. And he and his bf are so darned cute!
rhino79
Just some thoughts…
1) As a native Missourian, I’m proud. Maybe this is a sort of historical antidote to the Dred Scott case?
2) The whole “Gays can be athletic and masculine”-thing kind of falls apart when you and your lady friend cry the whole time.
3) Please, please, please wear condoms and do not become another young black male HIV statistic.
4) There sure are a lot of white people in that room.
Kangol
Absolutely amazing, wonderful and moving. Congratulations to Michael Sam, and thank you, St. Louis Rams, for taking this huge step forward.
I wish Sam, his boyfriend, and the Rams many good things to come. Our society also moved in a positive direction today too.
DarkZephyr
Michael Sam is a beautiful god. Makes me week in my knees. Those pecs and biceps are pure art. I wish him and his boyfriend that I am mildly jealous of all the best.
@rhino79:
“2) The whole “Gays can be athletic and masculine”-thing kind of falls apart when you and your lady friend cry the whole time.”
You can be masculine and still cry at times. Its human.
“4) There sure are a lot of white people in that room.”
So what? He has many friends who support him who happen to be white. Jesus I hope I live to see the day where people STFU about race. For God’s sake.
NG22
@DK: Well I’m black myself, and have seen that many in our community are not attracted to black people because we do not always conform to Western standards of beauty. I wish things were different, but I just didn’t even want to deal with some clown on the thread calling Michael unattractive. Basically, I can’t speak for anyone but myself.
asby
Another pro african american athlete with a white other half
michael mellor
It’s interesting that a team based in a largely conservative state picked Michael Sam. Where were the teams from more liberal states like New York and California? They’ve been homophobic.
Billy Budd
I think interacial couples (straight, gay) are THE FUTURE. People will mix and mingle, it is inevitable. It is the only way to completely eliminate racism. Here in Brazil we DO mix and mingle. We are a mixture of races, and I think it is beautiful.
They are gorgeous, young, very beautiful together. I wish he has a VERY successful career, makes tons of money, and show everybody that gays can be masculine and athletic. As I said many times before, gay relationships were almost a synonym of masculinity, a long long time ago.
DarkZephyr
@asby: So what?
Tackle
Good for Michael that he got drafted and that was a brave move on his part to come out before the draft. As far as some of the shade he’s getting for having a White bf, maybe it’s not a preference but rather someone who Michael connected to, and they have a lot in common. However if Michael’s choice for a White or other is based on a preference, I can see how that may cause (some ) Black gay men to feel uneasy. Because most times a preference for non-Black, shows an inferiority complex about ones self,and other Black men. If that is the case with Michael,but we don’t know. That’s why I would be careful calling him a role model or some great person based on athletic achievement. And as far as him being god, hunk,hot and all that good stuff. He’s nice looking: until he opens his mouth. One of the most attractive things for me are teeth. And his are horrendous.
ingyaom
NFL already has the jersey:
http://www.nflshop.com/St_Louis_Rams_Gear/Michael_Sam_St._Louis_Rams_Nike_2014_NFL_Draft_Number_10_Pick_Game_Jersey_%E2%80%93_Navy_Blue
Cam
Just one complaint. He was the SEC Defensive Champ, the last SEVEN of them went in the first round of the draft. The openly gay guys goes in the 7th.
Thanks to the Rams for drafting him. Thank you to Michael Sam for his bravery, I hope he kicks ass on the field to the point that he becomes the best bargain the Rams ever got.
He and his boyfriend make an adorable couple and thank you to them for being brave enough to come out and for ESPN for showing their kiss.
This is a guy who came out BEFORE his career took off, a great man.
middleagespread
Never, ever, thought I would live to see an openly gay man in the NFL. We have come far in just a little over 45 years. Being visible matters. Having a voice matters, speak up speak out. Congratulations to Michael, verry happy for you.
hassia
@tackle, there seems to be many things that you your self needs to tackle.
Cam
@Tackle: said…
“Because most times a preference for non-Black, shows an inferiority complex about ones self,and other Black men.”
______________________
And you of course have the studies that back this up? Lets see the link. Because it couldn’t have ANYTHING to do with both of them thinking the other is hot or anything.
So come on, lets see the link to those studies.
Lvng1tor
And we’ve already reduced this accomplishment to sex…..great job!
Billy Budd
Inter-*racial relationships should be valued ABOVE all others. They are a sign of evolution. People who don’t like inter-*racial relationships are usually RACIS*-TS
Black Pegasus
I just wanna take this opportunity to reflect on a couple of things.
1. Never in my lifetime would I have believed a Black President and his Black Wife would be living in the White House. History was made and it happened in MY lifetime!
2. Never EVERY would I have believed an Openly Black Gay Foorball player would be drafted in the NFL. But it happened, and history was made in MY lifetime!
I say that to simply say this; regardless of how I feel about the lack of “Black Celebrity Gay COUPLES” and who these black athletes choose to date, I can’t help but to feel an abundance of happiness for this guy. HISTORY has been made, Michael Sam can give two f@*ks about how I feel about the race of his boyfriend(s). He’s getting his life and that’s all that matters.
Congratulations Michael! Tackle hard and make them MAD!
Tackle
@Cam: No it doesn’t have anything to do with Micheal and his bf, as I stated in my post that maybe he is with someone he connected with, and have a lot in common with.
And about me providing a link. I don’t need to prove or try to convience ANYONE of what I, and many others know is the truth. This does NOT apply to all Blacks who date non-Blacks. Many do not have a preference.Which is great. But for many with that preference,it has to do with growing up in a dominant culture/society, and being conditioned at an early age to a Western standared of beauty. Many are not able to shake-off ,or deprogram from this brainwashing. It’s kinda basic common sinse. And providing a link for this is not gonna help. You’re gonna believe what you want to believe anyway.@Billy Budd: And that’s just silly. No relationship should be valued ABOVE all others. They should be valued equally. And all are NOT a sign of evolution. There are various reasons that people can be with anyone. Same race or not. And many times it’s nothing as deep as an evolved conscience, or (evolution) as you put it. And people like yourself who have a problem with, and don’t like older people are usually AGEST.
a new member
To those of you regarding race and beauty. Beauty is everywhere. Just look for it.
Cam
@Tackle: said…. “And about me providing a link. I don’t need to prove or try to convience ANYONE of what I, and many others know is the truth.”
_______________________________
Actually yes you do. You didn’t say “I think” or “I believe”, you said, ““Because most times a preference for non-Black, shows an inferiority complex about ones self,and other Black men.””
If so many people KNOW that this is the truth, then you would have no trouble pointing to any study that says so. Since you cannot do that, then we all know what that really means. Just a B.S. statement.
odawg
@Aromaeus: He clearly prefers it. I’m not surprised at all. In fact, when his coming out story first broke, I counted down until it was revealed he was a snow queen.
odawg
@Cam: Why should it point to a study to convince you? For many gay men of color, personal experience of being fetishized by white men over and over again tells us all we need to know.
odawg
@Billy Budd: What?
odawg
@asby: Of course!
samwise343
@Billy Budd: So what you’re saying is an interracial relationship has more validity than a non-interracial relationship? I thought the whole idea was about EQUALITY. (I just knew that there is something wrong with you.)
odawg
@samwise343: Well said!
Billy Budd
@Tackle: Dear Tackle, let me tackle you in the simplest way: I have nothing against old guys. I am getting old myself. But there is no doubt in my mind that, for me, a 19 yo good looking man is more attractive than a good looking 75 yo man.
Regarding the value of inter**racia*l relationships, I just meant that they are a positive thing, and should be valued as something good by people. in the city where I live, more than 75% of the population are miscegenated, that means, they are a mixture of races. I think that is beautiful. A beautiful thing. If you don’t agree with me, I don’t give a ****.
DK
@Tackle: @Tackle: “However if Michael’s choice for a White or other is based on a preference, I can see how that may cause (some ) Black gay men to feel uneasy. Because most times a preference for non-Black, shows an inferiority complex about ones self,and other Black men.”
Yes, to most of what you’re saying, but no to this because no, I can’t see how who someone else — let alone a stranger — is and is not dating is anyone’s concern. It is almost universally true that people who spend energy fretting about what is going on in the bedrooms of other consenting adults have serious low confidence and self-hate issues.
Their time would be better spent working on their lack of personal fulfillment, instead of being uneasy about things that are not their business.
It is true that preferences are conditioned; there’s nothing wrong with that or advocating for increased visibility of underrepresented groups in public outlets. But that advocacy should stop at the door to other folks’ houses.
So I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but to anyone who felt uneasy when Michael Sam’s kissed his boyfriend, it’s not his potential inferiority complex that’s the real issue: it’s your own. Check your prejudice.
DK
@DarkZephyr: Thank you for reading this rhino clown. It’s sad that these self-loathing queens feel the need to project onto Michael Sam their identity issues — in this case rhino’s masculine anxiety, fear of emotion and intimacy, and racial hangups.
Unfortunately, Michael Sam is not their therapist, so I hope they can find some other ways to work through their internal rage and sadness.
LadyL
Here’s how far we’ve come: my elderly, very Catholic mom is disappointed that Michael didn’t get picked for the Chicago Bears; she thought he would be great for the team.
Also she agreed with me that the ascendancy of Mike Sam might be the beginning of other NFL players feeling safer about coming out–and that would be a good thing.
Who knew?!
DK
@odawg: You spent three months lying in wait, with popcorn, “counting down” till you could find out the race of who someone you don’t know is dating?
Um, perhaps if you seek professional help to confront, finally, the self-loathing that has robbed you of confidence and thus led to your bitter internal loneliness and longing, you would be fulfilled in your own relationships, instead of “counting down” about Michael Sam’s? Just a thought.
Whew boy! The demons are really flying out of Pandora’s Box today — good job, NFL!
Cam
@odawg: said…
“Why should it point to a study to convince you? For many gay men of color, personal experience of being fetishized by white men over and over again tells us all we need to know.”
_________________
Because when he makes a flat statement that this is what these relationships mean, you aren’t saying “It’s an opinion” You are stating it is a fact. If you cannot point to any study, then all it is is just some bitter guy who wants to pretend that his opinions are fact. If you have nothing else to base your opinion on besides being a bitter Betty then at least have the honesty to admit that.
odawg
@Cam: It’s funny that rather than trying to understand where someone is coming from and how their experiences shape their perspective, especially as gay men of color in a community that many times reflects many of the exclusionary practices of the larger society, you want to call the OP bitter. That says more about you than it does about him.
odawg
@DK: Yes. I sat around with popcorn just waiting for it. You can’t be serious. Stop projecting your ignorance on me.
orcanyc
Congratulations, you make us proud
James Hart
@Tackle: WOW! You really know how to put a damper on a happy occasion. Michael made history. I hope he gets picked up after this summer. Some sports commentators said that he “doesn’t have the ‘athleticism’ to make it in pro football.” I hope that’s not true. I love football, and I’ll be following this carefully. Congratulations, Mike!
James Hart
@LadyL: If your mother has those views, she doesn’t sound “very Catholic.” She sounds like she gave up her faith long ago.
hex0
This was beautiful! Who cares whether his partner is white or black, why is this an issue?
Blackceo
@Tackle:
Tackle….I understand EXACTLY what you are saying. I’m not going to say some or most or a few because I don’t need the research police to tell me to post a link. Therefore, I won’t speak for anyone else, but rather from my own various experiences with black guys I know who dated white guys. Some of the guys I knew were definitely self hating and part of the psychology was the need to be accepted by a white guy.
As for all this “show me a link”…this is one of the reasons why I said in a previous article its too hard as a man of color trying to date a white guy who doesn’t understand that this psychology exists, along with other things. I can talk to my partner and he fully understand me talking about this particular issue and other issues of race without me having to give a history lesson on why certain things are the way they are and why the Black experience and the Black gay experience is so layered. Tackle…I don’t need a link because I know what you were saying.
That said though…I think we need to just celebrate this moment for Michael Sam. This has nothing to do with his little boyfriend. Michael Sam got drafted. Thats the history, thats the story, and thats what should be the focus.
LadyL
@James Hart: Not the case at all. My mom grew up in a large Catholic family raised primarily by a very religious mother, graduated from Catholic schools, and has known the kind of traumas, setbacks and tragedies that make believers cling to their faith as a port in a storm.
But she has also had to come to terms with having a gay daughter (and nephew, and friends) and she recognizes that she lives in a world that is changing. I don’t know how my mother reconciles her upbringing with a growing acceptance of LGBT, but I appreciate that she tries.
DarkZephyr
@odawg: What would “white men fetishizing black men” have to do with Tackle’s claim about black men having internalized inferiority issues and Cam’s request for a study proving it? “white men fetishizing black men” would be a statement about said white men’s own mental state and not that of the black men they fetishize. Your point falls flat on its face. And just a little FYI, not all white guys who date black men do so because they “fetishize” them. And by the same token, SOME black guys fetishize white guys. *I* know this from personal experience, but this does not make me peg all black men who have shown interest in me as fetishists. The fact that you use terms like “snow queen” for a man of color who is in a relationship with a white man sort of indicates that sort of a tendency in YOU actually. And your sarcastic reply to DK is especially laughable concerning the statement you made previously:
“He clearly prefers it. I’m not surprised at all. In fact, when his coming out story first broke, I counted down until it was revealed he was a snow queen.”
By your own admission you DID in fact count down until you found out who he was dating. Perhaps you didn’t literally sit there with popcorn but DK’s point was a very good one, hyperbole aside and I think applies to you quite well.
And by the way, congratulations on doing your part to continue stirring the pot of racism that exists in the LGBT community. Its not like we could use the benefit of being united against common anti-LGBT enemies or anything.
Ogre Magi
his boyfriend is cute! Which one do you think is the top?
Billy Budd
@Ogre Magi: I prefer to believe they are both versatile, like me.
odawg
@DarkZephyr: Whatever you say.
Blackceo
@Billy Budd:
OMG I can’t even picture Sam getting topped by that guy. I have a complex when it comes to that. I’m 6’3 and now that my current partner is 6’2 it is not an issue (and we are both vers) but when I was single if a guy wasn’t a certain height he couldn’t top me. It is my own complex about being dominated by someone significantly shorter than me, which is why knowing a guy’s sexual preference if he wasn’t at least 5’10 or 5’11 had to be known from the start.
Black Pegasus
@Blackceo: I’m with you. I purposely chose to reflect on the significance of this moment instead of the imaging I see before my eyes. You known damn well I can go hard on that issue, but I’m not in the mood to belabor those points at this time. Instead, I’ll just be happy for how far we’ve come as a society. I feel an odd sense of inner peace right now lol…
It’s a beautiful time to be alive.
Cam
@odawg: said… “@Cam: It’s funny that rather than trying to understand where someone is coming from and how their experiences shape their perspective, especially as gay men of color in a community that many times reflects many of the exclusionary practices of the larger society, you want to call the OP bitter. That says more about you than it does about him.”
_________________
Just because you agree with somebody, you shouldn’t try to lie and twist facts to try to back them up.
What ACTUALLY happened was that HE did not bother to try and understand, nor did you. You both just lashed out accusing gay black men of being insecure, and gay white men of fetishistic. Saying that most of them do that.
Since you both made a declarative statement that this was fact not opinion, I made the incredibly simple request of “Lets see the study that proves this statement”
Neither of you could provide that and instead got upset that you were called on your rac-ist B.S.
Sorry to wreck your day but just because you have a douchey opinion of others doesn’t excuse you from having to back it up.
I’m sorry you feel that gay black men are so incapable of thought that whatever they are attracted you you feel that must date white men to support this horrific insecurity, and I’m sorry you think white gay men so incapable of thought that they must date black men because of only a festish and not because of any attraction or love.
Honestly it sounds like you have way more issues than any of the people you accuse of having them.
DK
“Stop projecting your ignorance onto me” — you mean, stop calling you out for being being self-loathing. No, sorry, but you can and should deal with your own issues instead of using Michael Sam and and his boyfriend as vicarious therapists to work through your insecurities.
By your own ridiculous admission, you sat around counting down to find out the race of the person Michael Sam is dating. It slipped out, oops. Because you cannot go back and edit your comment your churlish obsession with the private lives of others remains exposed. Its a churlishness that lends itself to parody.
At the root of this is jealousy and insecurity that surfaces every time lonely race hucksters see a dude being happy with someone who is not them — ironically, it makes them even less attractive than they feel because that’s the least attractive trait a man can have.
I do sympathize, because while easier than at any point in history, it is still relatively hard to be black, and doubly difficult to be black and gay. To triumph personally over cultural conditioning that suggests over and over that your inborn traits make you less than wanted, less than attractive, less than others is not easy. But part of growing up is becoming comfortable in your own skin.
When you conquer the prejudices against self and others that causes this discomfort, then who Michael Sam is dating won’t concern you beyond being happy for him. *shrug* And we all know enough insecure queens to know that’s true.
Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready. #sorrynotsorry
vive
Maybe it is just simple statistics, in that it’s hard enough finding a compatible boyfriend who is gay, since your choice is restricted to maybe one in 10 or 20 men. Never mind finding a compatible boyfriend who is gay AND a minority.
DarkZephyr
@vive: Or MAYBE they just genuinely care about each other! Seems that way in the pictures and video!
Why are people DOING this? Making a huge deal about race? There is no reason for it!
odawg
@Cam: Whatever you say.
Merv
They make an incredibly hot couple. I’m surprised some people are drawing attention to their race. In my part of the country, interracial relationships are the norm. Nobody thinks much about it.
I hope they find a place for him on the roster, because I do understand he’s small by NFL standards for some of the positions he’s been playing. Ironically, it’s his relatively small size that makes him so appealing. If he were 350 pounds, like some linemen, I doubt so many people would be drooling over him.
Tackle
@Cam: Where is it written, and who makes the rules that one MUST provide a link to their truth, personal experience, life journey of being a gay Black man,in a dominant society, and the many forms of discrimination that comes with that. Can YOU provide a link?? Also you are the one who for yrs
That have admonish, and been very critical of celebrities who choose not to come out: calling them cowards, and ashamed to come out. And these are people you don’t know. And you did not say” you think “, or ” you believe” . You said they were. Provide your link to back up your statement. And since you cannot, do that, then we all know what that means. Just a BS statement.
samwise343
@Billy Budd: Billy, you wrote “Inter-*racial relationships should be valued ABOVE all others,” That is not a positive thing.
DarkZephyr
@Tackle: “You said they were. Provide your link to back up your statement. And since you cannot, do that, then we all know what that means. Just a BS statement.”
I guess you are conceding that without proof your statement is BS then.
Tackle
@Blackceo: And I agree with a lot of what you are saying. Some good points made. However, I clearly stated In my post, that it was not directed at Micheal Sam. Because I do NOT know his preference. So it is no to this case. Me personally, I do not follow football. Or watch TV. So the only time when I think of Micheal Sam, is when I log on to Queerty, and see a story about him. Away from this, yes I’m working on my personal fulillment, and enjoying all life has to offer.
Tackle
@Blackceo: Thank you for that. And I remember your previous article (last week) where you talked about the White guy you dated, who just did not get it. And about the people who are requesting the link, the very fact that they are requesting a link, showes they don’t get it. And even if I posted one, they still wont get it. Because some things you just have to live it, and experience it. And great points about what the real focus should be on.
Tackle
Correction: # 73 was for @DK:
Cam
@Tackle: said…. “@Cam: Where is it written, and who makes the rules that one MUST provide a link to their truth, “”
________________________
So in other words, you claimed to make a factual statement, can’t back it up and now are twisting any which way to try to excuse that.
Fact is, you can’t back up your statement. Save yourself some time and just admit it was a B.S. comment.
Franklin
I’m sorry, but I have to admit that there are a significant number of black gay men out there that exclusively date white men, and I don’t need a link from a study to tell me that. However, since you asked, I’ll refer you to this study done on OK cupid profiles and reply rates by race.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/
One of more telling parts of the study wast the fact that blacks and Indians/East Asians got the least replies to their profiles across the board. Also, when the question was asked “Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own race?” gay white males showed the strongest preference with 43% indicating that they preferred to date someone of their own race. When the same question was asked of gay black males, only 6% indicated that they had a strong preference to date someone of their own race. That’s the least amount of all the other races and genders. This seems to be backed up in real life as almost every out black celebrity I can think of, Don Lemon, LZ Granderson, Lee Daniels, Jason Collins, Derrick Gordon, Shaun T., all of them have white partners. So, you tell me what’s causing this, because I’m hard pressed to believe that this is just a simple matter of preference. Look, I’m not saying that there’s anything inherently wrong about interracial relationships, but when someone shows a totally EXCLUSIVE preference for another race other than their own it does send up red flags for me. And yes, I have seem white guys that primarily date outside of their race, but most of the one’s I’ve met will still show at least some attraction to the occasional white male.
Cam
@Franklin:
You have now tried to change the focus of the discussion based on the fact that you could only find a numerical study, not a study that spoke to reasons.
The claim was that most blacks who date whites do it because of self hate and insecurity, and most whites who date blacks are fetishizing them.
I called B.S. on the comment and asked for a link to back up the comment since it was stated as fact. And nobody was able to provide it.
Franklin
Well Cam I can’t say for sure the sun won’t turn into a bran muffin tomorrow, but after living on this earth for as many years as I have I know what I know.
Franklin
I don’t think that anyone is saying that all black people who date outside of their race are doing it because of self hate and insecurity. But lets not pretend like there are aren’t more than a few who do. People of color in the United States, and a lot of other places in the world for that matter, are constantly bombarded with images that hold up Caucasians as the standard of beauty, even from an early age. They read fairy tales about people that don’t look like them. They watch movies with heroes/heroins and read magazines with a majority of models that don’t look like them. Look at some of the most “beautiful” black women in media today. With the exception of Ms. Lupita, most of them are light skinned with long bone straight hair. Gay magazines aren’t any exception this this. They’ve even done a study, which has been repeated numerous times, in which different colored dolls were placed in front of children and a series of questions was asked like “Which doll is the pretty doll?”. Can you guess which doll most children picked.
http://youtu.be/tkpUyB2xgTM
You can sit up and pretend if you want to, that we all live in some color blind, post-racial America, but some of us prefer live in the real world.
toberlin
Congratulations USA!And what a brave and happy man.
(Here we still waiting for an active soccer pro to come out. I think even if a lot of fans/teammates would support this here I am not sure if this would be the same in abroad games.Could be a problem..)
Blackceo
@Franklin:
Bravo to all this!!! I absolutely agree. I don’t need a study to prove this because I’VE LIVED IT and have known guys who have this warped psychology. I don’t know if the issue with Cam and Tackle is the fact that Tackle said “most” but this does exist in numbers that aren’t just a few. Same as with a few Black females I have known who have said “I want to marry a white man so I can have pretty babies”. What the actual self hating hell?!!!!
I’m glad I never had this issue but I understand why some do because of the constant bombardment that Eurocentric standards of beauty are the be all end all. That is why I was so happy to see Lupita N’yongo be chosen as People’s Most Beautiful. Halle Berry and Vanessa Williams don’t really count to me because they have more European features and are more crossover. Lupita is a dark skinned sista with no long weave going down her back and dark skinned girls of all backgrounds needed to see that.
mz.sam
With many criticisms of Sam not being big enough or slower than the average NFL player…SCREW THEM! ‘MICVIT’…a hot couple All-The-Way!!!!!
Alan down in Florida
@michael mellor: This has nothing to do with Missouri being a largely conservative state. This is all about local boy makes good. The groundbreaking nature of it is gravy for the Rams and has already increased season’s ticket sales.
DarkZephyr
Ok I’m confused. Black men who date outside their race are bad and white men who date inside their race are bad?
Merv
@Blackceo – If Eurocentric standards of beauty are the be all and end all, then how do you explain tanning salons and waxed chests? They’re deliberately trying to eliminate two physical attributes common in European men.
In any event, if there are self-hating black people who want nothing to do with their own race, then screw them. They’re idiots.
Kangol
@Billy Budd:
There were interracial relationships in the past, but one partner or race was dominant. You need to speak in a historical context. You mention Brazil, an amazing country in which over 50% of the population now identifies as black or brown, but black and brown people in Brazil also have suffered from structural and personal racism and white supremacy for centuries, including up to today, where the majority of the poor are black and brown, where black and brown Brazilians still are underrepresented in the professions, in politics, in education, everywhere except popular culture and music. As the recent rolezinhos make clear, “interracial” relationships and racial mixing with not resolve the problems a society faces if there is still racism and white (or any racial, ethnic or cultural) supremacy.