Mitt Romney took a few swipes at his primary GOP presidential competitors. Of Rudy Giuliani, Romney maintained the former mayor of NYC doesn't have the conservative chops on gun control, abortion and gay marriage. It's this issue that forms the crux of his argument against John McCain – although, you wouldn't know it because he can't stop talking about himself.

Speaking to The Christian Broadcasting Network, the former Governor of Massachusetts said :

I don't think there's been a bigger defender of traditional marriage among the political world than me over these last several years than me. I fought for a federal amendment to the constitution to establish marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman. Senator McCain voted against that.

That's funny, because only a few years ago Old Mitten supported gay rights. The converts are the most pious, huh?

Speaking of pious, it's no secret that Romney's a Mormon courting the Evangelicals – those marriage loving crusaders. Thus, Mitt takes a moment to proscribe the Mormon proclivity for polygamy. He begins:

I vehemently oppose polygamy. I hope it's prosecuted aggressively wherever its found in the nation. My faith has made it an excommunicable offense since the 1800's, but I'm first to admit that among my ancestors were people who had multiple wives. I sure don't and I've been married to my high school sweetheart all my life and so has my dad and before him his dad.

See? No polygamy, just good old-fashioned child brides.

Still, that's small potatoes to Romney's aforementioned faggot flip-flopping. The Evans hates the faggots. Oh yes. Of course Romney's sticking to his anti-gay guns. And, in fact, he seems to think that voters appreciate a politician who changes their mind:

My experience is that to the voters, the response is overwhelmingly positive: 'We've got a guy who'll admit his mistakes, tell us what he's going to do and he'll honor that.'

Oh, yeah, the right-wing Evans love a good flip-flopper. Especially when they're from New England. More specifically, Massachusetts. Just ask what's his name.