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More Funny, Freaky, Filthy M4M Craigslist Ads

Dr. Eric Schrimshaw at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health made a shocking discovery when he conducted a study on M4M Craigslist personal ads: One in 10 of them seek straight men. Gasp!

In the spirit of Schrimshaw’s study, we did our own roundup of M4M Craigslist ads last week. Not surprisingly, there are some pretty freaky ones out there. So freaky, in fact, that we decided to fish for more.

Scroll down to read more of the funniest, freakiest, filthiest M4M Craigslist ads currently out there. (But don’t say we didn’t warn you.)

Tile: Big Bro Seeks ABDL Diaper Boy

Ad: Hi Everyone,

I’m looking to explore a dad/son (or big bro/little bro) relationship with a submissive, obedient sub. I want someone to take care of and treat like they’re my little toddler. I am into the entire abdl scene — changing your nappies, feeding you bottles, giving you a bath before bed, and letting you fall asleep on daddy’s chest.

I want someone who needs strict limits, someone to train to be the obedient boy you’ve always wanted to be. Maybe you need chastity. Maybe you need to be 24/7. I am the adult, so I will decide how you are to behave and dress, what you need to eat, and how you’ll be punished when you’re a bad boy.

If you’re interested, please tell me a bit about yourself — particularly your age, height, and weight. I’m interested in anything from play dates to a LTR. I can host with tons of great abdl diapers and supplies.

Title: Fuck my doll, I’ll watch(sex toy)

Ad: You’ll want to try out my doll TRUST ME.

I live alone.

DDF HIV neg for same.

Must be attractive

Title: Any pervs around my age?

Ad: I’m a vgl twink with brown hair and brown eyes. I’m looking for pervs around my age who are into taboo stuff like incest or molestation. I really like roleplaying and wearing clothes the make me look younger. I posted a pic of clothes I bought for these purposes. I love perverted lust. I’m want someone with deeply hidden creepy, perverted fantasies. I’m open to pretty much everything as long as it is safe.

Title: my new bra & panties

Ad: Hi, let me know if you like my new bra, panties, garter belt, and stockings, would you like play with me and take my panties off and ?????????? If you would then you must host, you must be white and you must be mature over 40 no kids

Title: Kick me in the balls!

Ad: Looking for a dominant guy to have a REALLY HOT time kicking me in the balls . . totally owning my balls with his feet . . socks on, socks off, sneaks, boots, you name it . . . I have a high pain-tolerance and LOVE to be dominated by feet so, I won’t wimp out on you . . . multiple cummer here too and can cum from the kicks . . MAJOR PLUS if you have martial arts kick training. 5’10, 175, bro/blue, clean cut, clean shaven . . private / discreet / safe / sane. New poppers!

Title: College/HS Pizza Delivery ASAP

Ad: I am looking for a guy to deliver me pizza now

You be White, 18-25, good shape.

You pick up my order and knock on my door. I ask you to please put it on the table for me. I have enough for the food, but no tip. You tell me I can give you your tip another way…..

In FIRST EMAIL, stats, pics, and what you want as a tip. Will not reply without.

Only White in shape 18-25

Change the subject to which pizzeria you will go to.

Title: Sniff my funky socks fag!

Ad: Yo, 21 laid back, flat hat wearin bro here. White thug, I drink beer, smoke cigarettes, fart a lot n watch tons of sports.

I’m lookin for a generous fag to sniff my funky white Sox I got on!!!

I’ll verbally dominate you while your nose has to sniff my dirty socks!!!!

 Title: greedy feedee looking to grow obese

Ad: hey there, I am an eager and hungry feedee looking for an ltr with a determined feeder looking to indulge me. for all my life I worked hard to stay fit, lean, and muscular, but I’ve always loved food and wanted ti get bigger. I’ve been experiementing with stuffing myself on my own in the last year or two and it’s become an addiction. I’m now up to 260 from 150 originally, and the sky is the limit :)

put the weight you’d like to see me get to in the subject line ;)

Title: Looking for a Twink willing to get Fat

Ad: So I’m looking for a cute young guy, preferably skinny to average build that would be willing to get fat for me. I like seeing the guy I’m with grow as our relationship grows. It’s part fetish part romance. I love the idea of feeding a cute guy Italian food I’ve cooked or hand feeding sweets. I’m the type of guy that’s really looking for a guy to care for both emotionally and physically. If this sounds like you hit me up.

Please be close to my age (28 or under).

Title: I want to molest you while you are unconscious or helpless

Ad: My fantasy is to molest a guy while he is very vulnerable and helpless. Maybe even unconscious. I want a guy who is willing to make himself vulnerable. Maybe drink a lot and get very drunk till you are kind of out of it. Or maybe take a sleeping pill. Or maybe I can choke you out safely. Or knock you out with a punch if you are not afraid of that. I don’t know. I’m not crazy or looking to really hurt anyone. I just want to make a guy my bitch and the best way to do that is if he is helpless and can’t fight back.

Title: Room mate with a twist

Ad: Very shy swm is seeking a room mate or mates. I live alone in a rather large place. You get a private room and bath. The room is not furnished. The rest of the place is very nicely furnished. I provide everything except food. My stats are that I am six feet two inches tall, weigh bout 210, in shape no beer belly. Very clean, Im sorta a neat freak. I am open to both men and women, even couples. If the vibe is right. Must be warm and fuzzy. People with sensuality about them. I have been told that I am very well equipped where it counts !

Please when replying to my ad, make sure you be as detailed as possible. Photos must have a shot of a seattle newspaper or equivelent. Giant sunglasses are advised, or black bar. Please do not make demands of me or request a bunch of photos, or private information. If I am interested in you, I will send a reply with a date and location for our first meeting. XXOXO

By:           Graham Gremore
On:           Apr 6, 2014
Tagged: , , ,

  • 24 Comments
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      I will die without learning every possibility in terms of sexual desire. Some people are really NUTS. The guy cums from being hit on his testicles, and calls himself SANE.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 8:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      By the way, there are crazy straight guys and crazy gay guys. I am not focusing on any gender preference.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 8:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      A quibble, but this is the second time you’ve made the mistake: It’s Columbia University, not the non-existent “University of Columbia.” You know – that big one in uptown NYC, one of the best-known schools in the US? (At least outside of Queerty-land?) And if you click on the study from the original article, Eric Schrimshaw is identified as a “Ph.D.” which makes him a “Dr.” only in academia, but if he were an M.D. they would definitely identify him as an M.D. Translation: his Ph.D. is in something medically irrelevant and possibly ridiculous (I’m guessing sociology!).

      Aside from that, I like this feature! But the Pizza Boy ad seems almost normal.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 10:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      I have a doctorate too. Took me 5 years of effort and sacrifice. Call me Dr. Billy from now on.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 11:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SpaceInvader
      SpaceInvader

      Wow. These are some truly scary,freaky personal ads. What in the hell is wrong with people? You DO NOT reveal your dark/dorky/dweeb/deranged self until at least 6 months into dating a man.Otherwise he’ll run back to his : previous bf /husband/partner/gf/wife/room mate/best friend /buddy/etc.!!!

      Apr 6, 2014 at 12:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      Editors: thanks for correcting the Columbia error so quickly!

      @SpaceInvader: I wonder what the success rate is with these (and should I put “success” in quotes?). Guess we’ll never know.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 12:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daveliam
      Daveliam

      @Ben Dover:

      I find it amusing when people use the anonymity of the internet to attack other people’s credentials. You show your ignorance when you think that the only “real” doctors are MD’s. Perhaps the time you spend mocking hard-working strangers online could be used to figure out what “doctor” actually means.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 1:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      I noticed a few annoying “white only” ads along with the freaky aspects. I am white but racial elitism always bugs the hell out of me. As a white guy I refuse to date “whites only” guys. Ugh.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 1:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stache99
      Stache99

      The molester guy that wants you to be unconsciousness I seriously worry about. Sounds like he’s into necrophilia. Just like Jeffrey Dalmer.

      Most of these ads outside of pizza boy I can’t imagine anyone taking their offers up. Then again I’m probably just showing my naivety.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 1:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @Daveliam: I’m not attacking anyone’s credentials. I’m not even blaming Dr. Schrimshaw. He works in academia, so he gets called Dr. at Columbia and other academic places. That’s the social convention.

      But readers are misled if they assume he’s an MD just because he works at a place called a School of Public Health. I’m sure he does brilliant work in sociology or basket-weaving or whatever he got his Ph.D. in, but he’s not an MD; he has a Ph.D. in some other field. The study and the first article show he’s more ignorant about HIV transmission, for instance, than the average Queerty reader is, which is depressing and a little scary since he’s pontificating ignorantly about such matters.

      In the US, out in regular life, generally you get called Dr. only if you’re a medical doctor, or a dentist, or *maybe* a veterinarian. That’s the social convention. A Ph.D. of another sort, outside academia, generally doesn’t get called Dr. because in the US that’s considered absurdly pretentious. If this social convention annoys you, I don’t know who you can complain to: Merriam-Webster? But if you have two Ph.D. degrees you could move to Germany where the social convention is they’ll call you “Dr. Dr.” and they won’t even giggle!

      Apr 6, 2014 at 2:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daveliam
      Daveliam

      @Ben Dover:

      Well I know numerous PhDs and they are all called Dr, because they, you know, have a DOCTORATE. You might think it’s pretentious but it’s not any more pretentious to call a PhD “Dr.” than a M.D. Of course, that’s assuming that their title plays a role at all. When meeting people, they usually use their names, not their titles. The same way that MDs do.

      This guy isn’t claiming to be an MD, so I’m not sure why you think that it’s worth pointing that out. He has a PhD in Health Psychology. He’s qualified to do the work that he’s doing. Yeah, I agree that his other study isn’t the strongest, but that’s not because he’s someone not qualified.

      Also, a veterinarian IS a medical doctor, so I’m not sure why you are qualifying that one. Perhaps, it’s just because you don’t really know but have this weird chip on your shoulder about people with advanced degrees (your “basket weaving” comment tells wonders). Not really sure why you are speaking for American “social conventions” because you sure don’t speak for mine.

      Apr 6, 2014 at 7:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @Daveliam: Yes, Schrimshaw didn’t claim to be an MD, and he presumably had no idea Queerty was going to link to that study. But the Queerty editors apparently speed-read it and seemed to assume he was an MD. This was misleading, considering the nature of the study.

      If he had been an MD, the study would have identified him as an MD. Why? Well, gee, even you know why. It would be a tacit acknowledgment that an MD is considered just a little more professionally significant, even at the Mailman School of Public Health, and especially in the non-academic world. Notice how the medical degrees get specified as such – okay, include DVM, and the dental degrees – but everybody else gets lumped in as an unspecified “Ph.D.”

      But yes, I think most of what goes on in academia is complete bullsh*t, so I’m sorry I can’t kowtow and kiss the hem of your garment!

      Apr 6, 2014 at 8:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daveliam
      Daveliam

      @Ben Dover:

      Yeah, whatever. You clearly have no idea how higher education even works. I love how your comparison of MDs as “specified” but PhDs as “unspecified” failed to acknowledge that an MD has a distinct degree. You are an MD IN a field. Just like you are a PhD IN a field. The more you talk, the more your ignorance shines through. The very fact that you think that I’m asking you to ‘kowtow’ in any way is very telling…. Have a great night!

      Apr 6, 2014 at 8:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @Daveliam: Aw, did I hurt your feewings? I didn’t realize that academics were such whiny crybabies. And you’re a good example of why most people hate them so much. Yes yes yes, of course I realize that MDs are “distinct” MDs IN a field, but everyone else gets referred to as “Ph.D.” and the reference is not made “distinct.”

      In the comments to the first article, a couple of us made fun of Schrimshaw being worried that condom use in ORAL sex is rare. If a “health psychologist” (whatever the hell that is) is so incredibly ignorant about how HIV transmission works, or for that matter how sex works, maybe he should STFU and stop pontificating about HIV. If that’s how higher education works, often it’s no help to anyone.

      Apr 7, 2014 at 10:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daveliam
      Daveliam

      @Ben Dover:

      I don’t work in academics, you fool. Also, your point about “distinctions” still doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. It’s clearly not worth discussing it with you because you either can’t or won’t take the time to understand how it actually works. And with that, I’m done.

      Apr 7, 2014 at 11:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @Daveliam: You didn’t explain your hair-splitting distinction between “distinct” and “specified,” but I gather that it’s insignificant.

      Apr 7, 2014 at 11:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daveliam
      Daveliam

      @Ben Dover:

      Ugh, I can’t believe I’m responding again. But here goes: I didn’t have a distinction between “distinct” and “specified”. I had a distinction between “distinct” and “unspecified”. You made the claim that MDs are “specified” but PhDs are “unspecified”. When I pointed out that BOTH MDs and PhDs actually have distinct areas of specialization in their degrees, you still refer to PhDs as a general category. Why is a PhD a general category but an MD not? You have never explained this and I suspect that it’s because you don’t actually understand how MD or PhD education works. You are also forgetting the dozens of OTHER doctoral level degrees out there besides MD and PhD, but, again, it’s probably because you don’t know that you don’t know about it. Clearly, however, that doesn’t stop you from running your mouth about topics about which you clearly don’t understand.

      Ultimately, my point is this: MDs are one type of doctor. They are by no means the only type of doctor nor the most numerous type of doctor and, in the US, anyone who has a doctoral level degree gets called Dr. For some reason, you feel the need to disparage anyone who isn’t an MD, as if their work is somehow less than. MDs often don’t do scientific research. The people who publish about medical research are often (not always, but often) PhDs in the various fields of biology. Educate yourself before criticizing others.

      Apr 7, 2014 at 12:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @Daveliam: Yes yes yes, of course I know all that. My point was, notice how that STUDY calls PhDs all the same thing: “Ph.D.” That’s the convention, that’s the tradition, for some reason which apparently you don’t know either.

      “in the US, anyone who has a doctoral level degree gets called Dr.” NO THEY DON’T, except in an academic setting.

      “Why is a PhD a general category but an MD not?” Exactly, and obviously you don’t know either!

      Apr 7, 2014 at 12:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daveliam
      Daveliam

      @Ben Dover:

      “in the US, anyone who has a doctoral level degree gets called Dr.” NO THEY DON’T, except in an academic setting.

      Maybe I just don’t understand you. Give me an example of a time when an MD would get called Dr., but a PhD wouldn’t. I don’t understand what you mean.

      “Why is a PhD a general category but an MD not?” Exactly, and obviously you don’t know either!

      No, I was asking YOU. Why do YOU think a PhD is a general category but an MD is not? And, a good answer isn’t “because it is”. Because it isn’t but you are acting like it is.

      Apr 7, 2014 at 1:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @Daveliam: Oh Jesus F*cking Christ: “Miss Manners believes that the word should drop its original meaning, and only apply to medical practioners.” – See http://www.quora.com/Can-Ph-D-s-call-themselves-a-doctor

      Also see: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090212094424AA6bFg7

      “Why is a PhD a general category but an MD not?”… “No, I was asking YOU.” And I was telling you from the start that I neither know nor care; I was merely pointing out that it’s a convention in the US, that’s just the way it is, and it’s the usage employed in the study by the Mailman School of Public Health.

      As for WHY it’s a convention, who cares? You might as well ask why do we “bless” people when they sneeze. (Well actually I know the answer to that one but I DON’T CARE.) It’s kind of like the Geico commercials: “Everybody knows that.” (Except you apparently!)

      Apr 7, 2014 at 1:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ben Dover
      Ben Dover

      @Daveliam: This has been like talking to the socially clueless physicist, DR. Sheldon Cooper on “The Big Bang Theory”!

      Apr 7, 2014 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Captain Obvious
      Captain Obvious

      I find it interesting that this is what the second article on this site to feature diaper fetishes and cover it up as some sort of “expose”.

      First and foremost gay people are supposedly open to the freaky and “weird” and it’s freaky and weird to be gay according to homophobes and even non-homophobes who don’t “get it”. So remember your glass house while you’re chucking those stones.

      Then you go out of your way to find lesser fetishes most haven’t even heard of to cover up your obvious interest in AB/DL.

      Look, much like Mac on “Always Sunny”, you need to own your interest. If you like it so much then stop writing about it and try it out.

      Shitting on other people on the internet and bashing their fetishes for “laughs” so you can vicariously get off isn’t cool or witty.

      http://www.queerty.com/photos-yes-emo-boy-baby-play-is-a-real-thing-20130118/

      This is the last article on the same thing where you took it upon yourself to post pictures of teens or young 20 somethings with their faces and had no concern for their well being.

      What if they are in high school or college and you just put their business out there for people to see? And before the “Well they put it on the internet.” defense, they put it on fetish sites. You’re going to fetish sites and fetish tumblrs to take those pics.

      You are bookmarking diaper fetish sites and downloading pictures.

      You have a diaper fetish. Own it. Stop writing about it in a negative way, it’s not fooling anyone but others who also have the same fetish but feel insecure about it.

      Ironically it’s rivaling leather as a big mainstream fetish, so you could just join them if you care that much to keep talking about them.

      Sexual freedom and exploration has been a right of gay men who have been outcasts world wide. How dare you try to take that away to hide your own insecurities. You’re no better than the homophobes who do the same to us among their circles. They laugh at gay porn with their friends, you laugh at diaper pics with your readers.

      Frankly you can’t get an STD spanking it in a diaper, less whores running around trying to be witty twinks in the city trolling Grindr all day isn’t exactly a bad thing either.

      Get over yourselves. Fetishes are healthy, suppressing them is not. Case in point: bitchy articles, meant to hurt, and humiliate.

      Apr 7, 2014 at 2:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kieran
      Kieran

      @Captain Obvious: You make a good point. Is the dude getting off sexually wearing a diaper more “freaky” than all those drag queens in the community who get their rocks off putting on ladies panties, bra and wig?

      Apr 7, 2014 at 3:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dragonhawk1959
      Dragonhawk1959

      @Billy Budd:
      In-sane is more like it.

      May 14, 2014 at 9:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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