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  Dear Diary

My Drag Queen Brother Has the Really Gay Gene

Tanner (left) and Trevor (right)

Years ago I read an article in Psychology Today that suggested a possible gay gene could be isolated to men who have older straight brothers. It reported that when a woman is pregnant with a male child, her body creates certain enzymes and testosterone to create that male child. And when she has a second male child, her body creates the same amount of enzymes and testosterone, suggesting an explanation for the younger gay brother gay phenomena.

I know, BORN gay? What a theory. This may explain why so many gay men have older brothers. Is this true? Or is it just me?

I haven’t read anything about that theory since the article was published, but in the case of my family it would explain a lot. My older brother, Nate, is straight. I’m gay. And my younger brother, Trevor, is gay with three snaps in Z-formation. In fact, he’s the loud and proud drag queen in New York City, Ms. Holly Dae. Girl, she is GAY.

Ms. Holly Dae

Being gay and having a gay brother has always been a blessing for me. We have so much in common: show tunes, smallbathing suits, narcissistic melodrama over pre-mature balding… Before I moved to Los Angeles, we even lived together in New York City. Since we look nearly identical, we could go out to the gay bars and instantly become a sort of novelty piece, which could be entertaining.

Now having lived in Los Angeles for five years, it’s time to move again. I’m taking an extended two-month road trip with my fiancé, which I will blog about regularly for Queerty. Before moving to England and of course, I am throwing a huge going away party this week. Trevor, never one to miss a good party, is flying out for it.

We’re busy people so it’s not a surprise that he’s never visited Los Angeles before. He’s never met any of my friends out here. Heck, he’s never even met my fiancé. As I begin this pretty massive move in my life, I’m relieved in a way to have him here. More than a gay ole good time, he’s a reminder of who I once was, how we’ve changed into adults, and of where we’re going.

I suppose that’s just a brother. Gay and straight or bi or crazy drag queen. He’s my brother.

Photo credit Jessica DiGiovanni

By:           Tanner Efinger
On:           Jul 14, 2011
Tagged: , , , ,
  • 41 Comments
    • No. 1 · EdWoody

      “And when she has a second male child, her body creates the same amount of enzymes and testosterone, suggesting an explanation for the younger gay brother gay phenomena.” How on earth does A lead to B? I think you missed a part of this theory out… like the actual explanation part.

      (Not to mention saying gay twice and getting the singular of phenomenon wrong. But that’s a cheap shot.)

      Jul 14, 2011 at 6:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 2 · j

      This looks like its gonna be a really good read! Can’t wait for the next one :)

      Jul 14, 2011 at 6:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 3 · Jeremy

      Your younger brother is hot!

      Jul 14, 2011 at 6:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 4 · j

      @EdWoody: Whine whine whine whine.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 6:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 5 · ewe

      You will have to prove to me and everyone else what chromosome the straight gene is located on before i even entertain a gay gene. Just sayin in case the need for a legal defense ever comes up in court where the tyranny of the majority might attempt to exteriminate the minority. It’s no game and neither is biology.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 7:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 6 · EdWoody

      @j: I realise that, which is why I tried to soften it at the end. But it’s not like this blog isn’t filled with dozens of others doing the same.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 8:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 7 · Q

      Though a nice theory, it hardly spans the full spectrum of gays & families. It works well for me (though I have 2 older & 1 younger…all straight) & for the author of this article, but what about my BFF’s family? She is #7 in an 8 child family (they’re Mormon & from Utah…and PS they do love their gays :) ), where her #1 Brother, #2 Sister & #6 Brother are all gay. Now either the Nerve Gas Army Depot in Tooele County gave them super powers (because let’s face it, being gay is awesome), or it’s just the magic of nature.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 9:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 8 · Elloreigh

      “Years ago I read an article in Psychology Today that suggested a possible gay gene could be isolated to men who have older straight brothers. It reported that when a woman is pregnant with a male child, her body creates certain enzymes and testosterone to create that male child. And when she has a second male child, her body creates the same amount of enzymes and testosterone, suggesting an explanation for the younger gay brother gay phenomena.”

      No no no! You’ve got this completely wrong. A “gay gene” is not what’s at work here. The human genome has already been sequenced and they haven’t found one. More likely (and the research is still in its infancy) is a combination of factors, including some genetic – but that’s not the same thing as a “gay gene” in a direct cause & effect relationship.

      A woman’s body doesn’t do anything to determine the sex of the child – that’s determined by the father’s contribution of a ‘Y’ chromosome.

      In the older brothers theory, what seems to happen is that a woman’s body sees the male fetus as an alien invader based on sex-specific proteins coming from it, and may create antibodies as a result. The theory is that as more male children are conceived, the mother’s body gets better at defending itself, with the side effect of feminizing the male child. It’s not a case of her body creating “the same amount of enzymes and testosterone”. It’s a matter of her body reacting to proteins from the male fetus.

      It has also long been theorized that the release of hormones in relation to maternal stress may also affect fetal development, including orientation.

      We may never be able to nail down an exact origin for same-sex orientation. and it appears those origins may be different for lesbians. We can’t even be sure at this point that there is just one path to male same-sex orientation; it could be different influences producing a similar outcome.

      Regardless of how it happens, the one thing that does seem certain is that it’s not something one consciously chooses. In the end, I’m not sure that how it happens matters so much.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 10:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 9 · Jonathan

      I always wished I had a brother! You are both so lucky! Congratulations on your engagement.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 10:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 10 · Nate

      Odd, I read a similar/the same theory somewhere before… Though I discounted it as I am the eldest of two boys and my younger brother is straight.

      Great blog post too :)

      Jul 14, 2011 at 10:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 11 · Codswallop

      How’s this for a theory? If there IS a gay male gene, it’s actually a sex-linked female trait that controls hormone and enzyme production and levels during pregnancy.

      Some studies seem to show that male homosexuality runs along matrilineal lines. So maybe the females in the maternal bloodline are genetically more likely to produce the hormonal conditions during pregnancy that results in gay male children.

      Thus you end up with male homosexuality being both genetic AND due to conditions in utero, without there being a “gay gene” to find in the gay male DNA code.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 10:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 12 · MikeE

      Sorry, the “Straight older brother, gay younger brother” thing doesn’t work for the VAST majority of gay men I know. Almost all of my gay friends and acquaintances are already the oldest child in their families, which completely contradicts this “theory”.

      When I first read about this (years ago), I thought to myself “hey, yeah, I’m the youngest son!”, then started examining all of my friends and acquaintances family relationships… and realized I was pretty much the only person out of dozens and dozens that I knew who was a “2nd son”. Almost every single other gay man I knew was actually either a single child, or the oldest sibling (not just the oldest male sibling). Not only that, the oldest sons being gay ALL had completely straight younger siblings.

      So I guess this theory needs work.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 11:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 13 · Jeffree

      @Elloreigh:, & @Codswallop: Those theories are based on “epigenetics” which explain the interaction between fetal development (in utero environment including hormones) & actual genetic expression. That’s one of the possible explanations of differences between even “identical” twins.

      The “older brother” theory runs close to the data that suggests a higher % of children born to older mothers turn out to be gay or lesbian.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 12:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 14 · Jim

      I’m the older brother and it’s my younger brother that’s the straight one.

      I do have an older half-brother, also straight – but we don’t have the same mother — so that shoots a big hole in that theory.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 12:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 15 · Jeffree

      My comment got flagged for moderation, but it was about “epigenetics” and the interaction between genes & the in uter0 environment.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 12:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 16 · Keith

      Don’t buy it. I’m the oldest of four boys and only the youngest is straight. The middle two didn’t come out until they’d been married and had kids but they’re both living with their husbands now.

      I also have two sets of cousins, all boys, all straight. So out of the ten boys in my generation 30% are queer. I think we beat the odds :)

      Jul 14, 2011 at 12:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 17 · Bobby

      I know a family that has two children: 1 older girl, and a not too younger boy.
      The girl recently came out to her parents, and it wasn’t much of a surprise to her.
      And the boy, while he hasn’t came out, is gay as all get up.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 1:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 18 · Biorn

      I think a lot of people are missing a key point in the theory. This theory does not say that the more elder brothers you have the gayer you’ll be. It says that with each male child a woman has, there is a higher chance of the next boy being gay. But the actual theory is a lot more complicated than just this little snippet.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 1:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 19 · JSmith

      @Elloreigh: What about phenomes? genetic variables that change during the womb isn’t that what’s been speculated as the type for the “gay gene”

      Jul 14, 2011 at 1:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 20 · inoits2 · Member · 265 comments

      Not sure I buy the older brother thing since I am an older brother. My family on both sides I riddled with queers. My two first cousins , several uncles and numerous relatives in my grandmas generation. She would remark with scorn about them and say ” they never got married” then wouldn’t talk about them. I thinks it’s definitely genetic in most cases since it seems to run in families. Hell, being a gay I can see gay face in many people just like downs syndrome

      Jul 14, 2011 at 2:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 21 · Kat

      It’s very weird how supposedly only 10 percent of population might be gay, but the pattern in which gay children are produced poses an interesting question to that statistic. Why is it that a mother produces multiple gay babies, while her sister or her sister-in-law produces none at all? Statistically, it should almost look like we would see one gay kid here and there in average of 10 families! I am no geneticist, but is there perhaps a link we haven’t examined between genetics and hormonal development stage? How about that of the mothers?

      This is purely a joke and it’s kind of sick, but, maybe we should study hormones and genetics of the mothers who repeatedly produce gay babies in a lab??? That actually might yield some relevant data.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 2:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 22 · Tim

      There are a lot of people commenting about how they’re family breaks or fits the mold of this theory, either way I don’t think it matters very much. Why do we need to understand exactly how it happens? To be honest, there is sound logical science just about proving everything in our universe, and there are still people that choose to believe otherwise. I think it’s best that the science not outweigh how important it is to achieve acceptance without knowing exactly the way “the gay” is formed/created/born/made/crafted/happens. The world needs to accept before it understands this in my view. I don’t want my life and love to be reduced to a few genetic switches that happened at birth, I want people to love and accept me before they even know that stuff.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 2:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 23 · inoits2 · Member · 265 comments

      @Tim:iI agree. The constant pursuit of an explanation kind of implies we are damaged goods. Why not do a study to find out why straights aren’t gay.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 3:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 24 · bumpus

      dear tanner….to put it as simply as possible…..i love you.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 3:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 25 · Jennifer

      Fun times guaranteed this weekend. Hearts and Rainbows!!!! :D Celebrations with family and friends as you embark on a new adventure / chapter in life cannot possibly be anything short of amazing.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 3:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 26 · Matthew

      “I haven’t read anything about that theory since the article was published, but in the case of my family it would explain a lot.”

      Whether or not the theory fits your particular case isn’t relevant unless it’s actually true that the birth order is the cause (or part of the cause) of you and your siblings’ sexual orientations, otherwise it’s simply speculation.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 4:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 27 · Ernest

      I’m a gay male from a family of 5 kids. My younger brother is also gay. So are three of my cousins. My fiancés uncles are gay and they are the only two boys in a family of 5. The women however are straight except for one of his cousins being a lesbian. EWE, you can’t tell me that a Gay gene does not exist because clearly it does! How else can families have gay siblings, cousins, etc?

      Jul 14, 2011 at 4:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 28 · j

      @EdWoody: Oh, well that makes it ok then. I should congratulate you on your very mature mentality. Well done.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 5:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 29 · mtroy

      There’s a lot of Modern Jackass-ing going on in here. http://www.thisamericanlife.or.....edge?act=0

      Jul 14, 2011 at 5:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 30 · Ganondorf

      Hey, what’s a fat gay?

      A homooo. Don’t be fat and gay.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 31 · missanthrope

      @inoits2:

      This. How many scientists have conducted experiments about how straight people turn out to be straight? All of this is a huge waste of money for wortless CV padding that could be going to AIDS or cancer research. You, stuff that actually helps people.

      And Psychology Today prints isn’t worth wiping my ass with when it comes to describing actual science.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 5:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 32 · missanthrope

      @Ernest:

      Maybe your family is just really (literally) gay?

      Jul 14, 2011 at 5:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 33 · paul f

      I’m the last of four in my family. My older brother is very straight. After years of being picked on, he finaly came out and said the reason for the crap he put me through was to prevent me from “turning” gay. His treatment method didn’t work, I still “turned out” gay.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 8:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 34 · Adam

      Sounds like a great blog! I’m excited for it.

      Sidenote: I’m the oldest boy in my family, two younger brothers, one older sister, and as far as I know, I’m the only gay one.

      Jul 14, 2011 at 8:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 35 · Elloreigh

      @JSmith: You mean the interaction of genes with environmental factors as possibly having same-sex orientation or the disposition thereto as an outcome? Yes, that’s another theory.

      Jul 15, 2011 at 12:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 36 · The Oldest

      Yeah and I am the oldest of six. So now what?

      Jul 15, 2011 at 12:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 37 · Mark

      Not that it was the point of the article but being blasted with hormones in the womb is a congenital issue not a genetic one

      Jul 15, 2011 at 1:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 38 · Jeffree

      @Mark: I believe that scenario falls under the epigenetic theories being researched these days.

      Jul 15, 2011 at 1:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 39 · ganymeade

      I’m the older bro of 4 other siblings all str8. I’m 5 ‘ 6″ 130lbs, got mistaken for a girl on occasion. Love fashion, show tunes, wax everything.RE Decorated my folks living twice b4 I was 15 and made some of my own clothes. I work as a RN and studied piano, modern dance and 19th cent romantic lit. i believe in a gay gene obviously.

      Jul 15, 2011 at 11:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 40 · ganymeade

      @Jeffree: epigenetics is a very likely scenario.

      Jul 15, 2011 at 11:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag
    • No. 41 · GG

      Just go read that:

      http://www.psychologytoday.com.....the-switch

      Jul 21, 2011 at 3:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment · Flag

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