Oh dear, we’re in trouble.
A new survey shows that almost half of gay men in England have watched pornography for “education” about how to have sex. This is like watching The Matrix to learn kung-fu.
The charity GMFA asked over a thousand gay men where they learned about sex. Not surprisingly, an overwhelming majority reported no instruction in school — or at least, no instruction that applied to same-sex relationships.
Related: Data Shows Ladies Love Gay Porn. Can You Blame Them?
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
And so where did they look for instruction instead?
Pornography, of course!
And that would be fine, except nothing that happens in porn is real, so that 41 percent of gay men who learned about anal sex from porn are in for some surprises. You seldom see the hygiene preparations in adult films, not to mention diligent STI testing.
What’s more, 34 percent learned about oral sex through porn. And 13 percent of respondents said they had riskier bareback sex after watching bareback pornography.
Don’t get us wrong, porn is great. It’s fun. Let’s all watch a lot of it. But we also have a responsibility to be smart and not dive into bed without learning how to do it safely in the real world.
Related: An Infographic Of Global Internet Porn Habits
If there’s a lesson here, it’s not to criticize pornography for being unrealistic — that’s not its job — but to criticize schools for doing such a poor job of preparing young people for the bodies they inhabit. Pretending that everyone is straight and celibate until married does a disservice to everyone. Straight people wind up pregnant; and queer people wind up with infections and injuries.
And that’s just the worst-case scenario. Because you so seldom see happy fulfilled partnerships in porn or in educational materials, LGBTQs are unprepared for building strong relationships. They might think that finding love is impossible, if they don’t see any models among all the straight couples presented by popular culture. Or they might think that the only way to connect is with a glamorous sex act.
Having a fantasy life is fine — let’s just hope that near-majority of gay men who learn about sex from porn don’t get stuck in theirs.
Related: Hetero Guys Open Up About Their Gay Porn Fetishes With Each Other
MarionPaige
one thing about European Gay Adult is that the models typically have “normal / realistic” bodies. In fact,
I would argue that the European Gay Adult Consumers’ dislike of the muscle-bound steriody look that US Gay Adult producers pimped to death is what help lead to there being a wider variety of body types in Gay Adult in general. Also,
European Gay Adult Producers typically didn’t follow the SF / LA Marketing Strategy defining a certain look to tops and bottoms. In general, most Euro models were versatile.
Some years ago, a UK Based Gay Adult Producer said he created his company because Gays in the UK typically didn’t like the over muscled bodies in Gay Adult coming out of SF / LA.
Billy Budd
@MarionPaige: You are right of course and I also prefer normal lean bodies. But I watch porn exclusively for masturbation. Porn cannot teach me anything because when I am in bed I give myself completely. Even in a one night stand I try to make love and not only FUCK.
redcarpet30
I learned mostly from porn. Luckily there were some online resources that explained some of the risks, procedures, etc that I was able to read before I did anything, but that was only by shear luck.
But who cares about those gay kids? They aren’t even supposed to be having gay sex anyway, it says so in the bible! /s
Stache
Sex is like riding a bike. You don’t learn how by watching instruction videos. If you did it would be by the very best riders in competitions. Most just get on and ride it. Yeah, you’ll fall and scrape yourself up a dozen times but because it’s fun you keep doing it till you get it right.
Stache
@redcarpet30: I learned by watching allot of black porn. Some of those guys really know how to f*ck. It should be required learning before you’re allowed to have sex;)
1898
This is why the Bible Belt areas of the U.S. have dramatically higher rates of STD/STI infection than the liberal/blue-state areas — there’s little or no sex ed in schools, or sex ed that focuses only on how to prevent pregnancy.
Brian
Porn is prostitution. You are watching acts of prostitution
Billy Budd
@Brian: Who said prostitution is inherently a bad thing? I think it can be a beautiful thing, especially if not connected with drugs or violence. It is one person giving himself to make other people happy. It has always existed and always will. We must remove the stigma.
Brian
@Billy Budd: Prostitution is a distortion of sex and sexuality. It’s inherently dishonest.
Billy Budd
@Brian: Your popularity at Queerty is a direct result of your strange opinions.
Stache
@Brian: Hey Brian I got some good snuff porn you could star in.
oliver_lockwood
DAMMMMN… Noah didn’t just announce the flood, he caused it. (Spill some T, throw some shade.) Lord, this new possible feud is a reminder of Dustin Lance Black’s and Sam Smith’s back around Oscar time… (So Imma grab some popcorn, brb.)
On a serious note after reading the entire interview, I agree with Noah on some points, specifically the much needed diversity and transitioning away from the singular portrayal of gays in Hollywood. Given his age and current standing in the proverbial Hollywood food chain, I don’t think that anyone with influence in Hollywood would take him seriously. As for his career, it could be really good for him or really bad, Unfortunately no middle ground. (I hope he’s business minded to be like a Kardashian and twist this to his advantage.)