A new book is trying to get to the root of what is “normal” for most couples, and some of the findings indicate that a large percentage of men come to a …er…”speedy” conclusion.
Dr. Harry Fisch is the author of The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grownups, and though the book is mostly targeted towards the heteros, it still has some rather revealing findings about sex and intimacy that will definitely be conversation starters for the gays. Among them:
- 45 percent of men finish having sex within two minutes.
- Married couples have more sex than those who are single.
- The average man has eleven erections every day.
Now, about that two minutes…Dr. Fisch references multiple studies to get to that number.
There have been studies in which couples consented to be scientifically observed having sex, and one of the observers timed each session with a stopwatch to make a fairly accurate assessment about the length of the coupling. Not surprisingly, there is an extremely large variation in the time it takes a couple to have sex, ranging from the excessively short (about two minutes or less, which famed sex researcher Alfred Kinsey dryly noted was a “frequent source of marital conflict”) to the “Are you done yet?” (over forty minutes).
So there you have it, folks. The sweet spot for your partner is definitely somewhere in between “is that it?” and “are you done yet?” Now that you’ve got some basis for what “normal” is, you can go ahead and do some personal studies of your own.
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Stache99
The average man has eleven erections every day.
I can’t imagine that but I wonder if they consider those to be full erections.
Billy Budd
I have the opposite problem. When I wear a condom while topping, I have difficulties to reach orgasms. I solved this problem by cum*ing by having the partner give me a BJ while playing with my as*, or by jer*ing off while kissing (deep french kisses).
DerekR
@Billy Budd: TMI x 10…….I know you feel that almost every post needs your 2 cents……they don’t.
hyhybt
If at first you finish early, try, try again.
Billy Budd
@DerekR: censorship and negative criticism such as yours are not welcome here. The comment section exists for a purpose. Comments.
Billy Budd
Aren’t we allowed too give a personal perspective about the matters discussed in the articles?
Billy Budd
Also, my contributions are anonymous, which gives me a lot of freedom to discuss sensitive or personal matters. Who cares! nobody knows me in here anyway.
SpunkyBunks
@Billy Budd: Billy Budd you can say whatever you want but you are tacky. Think before you speak.
Bromancer7
@Billy Budd: Discretion is the better part of valor. Just because you CAN comment on every single article doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
GayTampaCowboy
Ok, so it really makes me wonder WHO pulls the stats out on these books. For example, according to this article, 45percent of men finish having sex within two minutes, that’s not the AVERAGE, it’s just a statistic. I think they should give more stats if they are going to be that specific. What percent finish in 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc. Oh, and does this mean PENETRATIVE sex and does NOT include foreplay? This stat really makes men sound like very BAD lovers. Oh, and if a str8 couple isn’t having frequent sex (2 times a week for committed couples), it isn’t surprising if a guy blasts off quickly when he FINALLY gets where he wants to be with his wife.
if you REALLY want to get the gist of what’s in this book, click the link to read the FULL review. You’ll find a MUCH better overview – and you won’t be so shocked. The 11 erections stat INCLUDES partial erections – not full on wood! Talk about a distinction with a difference ahhahaha.
The book also speaks to the fact that the QUALITY of sex is more important than the QUANTITY of the sex. REALLY? There’s a shocker – but I guess it’s important to validate an axiom.
HirsuteOne
When I’m blowing guys in parking lots, 2 minutes is a good thing. Chop, chop, stud, I’ve got places to go.
SaiLait
My partner just has to give me that smile and I’m ready! I’ve never thought about timing our lovemaking; I just enjoy!
Stache99
@HirsuteOne: You should do a video. You could call it HirsuteOne swallows a hundred loads. You could make a fortune;)
HirsuteOne
@Stache99:
LOL
Charlie in Charge
@Billy Budd: Wait woah – so you can criticize article but it’s not OK for us to criticize you? What?
Lvng1tor
Don’t forget we are animals and sex was meant for breeding purposes. just cause we find enjoyment in it doesn’t mean our original programming doesn’t work. Quick cum quick breed means men would have better chance of getting a mate pregnant. our reproductive organs were really about efficiency
Blackceo
@Billy Budd:
Well that was quite the visual, lol. I too though have the same issue being long winded with or without a condom. There have only been a few guys who have been able to make me cum giving me a blowjob. I remember senior week of high school at the beach hooking up with this guy who was blowing me for 45 minutes and all I could think of was Taco Bell. But he seemed to be enjoying himself and I wasn’t gonna stop him. You have to have SKILLZ when rapping on my mic.
2 minutes to me would be a turn off. I mean I’m just getting loosened up at that point. But I wouldn’t want to be down there for 45 minutes either and because I don’t really enjoy bottoming too much I wouldn’t want a guy up in there for 45 minutes either. However, I will gladly dig someone’s back out for that long if they don’t mind.
MMDD
Isn’t the ultimate purpose of sex to get off? Who cares if it’s within two minutes or two hours? (On second thought, two hours is a bit much.)
hyhybt
@MMDD: most people enjoy the part between the beginning and the end, and most people like for experiences they enjoy to last a while.
MMDD
@hyhybt: I do too, but just because something doesn’t last that long doesn’t mean you can’t turn right around and do it again. And you know, you have to eat an ice cream cone quickly before it melts, but that doesn’t make it taste any less sweet. 🙂
vive
@Stache99, they must be including nocturnal erections in that count of 11, otherwise I can’t imagine it to be the case either.
vive
Within two minutes of what?
NG22
@Billy Budd: I thought that insight was kind of hot, tbh. It certainly sounds like a good time.
samwise343
@Billy Budd: Talking like that here only works if you’re Zac Efron or Tom Daley.
Billy Budd
@NG22: I am temporarily overweight, but I am very cute and I really know how to perform well in bed. I am also very humble.
MMDD
Since this thread is about sex and cumming, it’s ridiculous for anybody to get their panties in a wad about somebody describing his sex life. In my experience with my husband, the more you have sex, the less likely you’ll cum so quickly. He used to cum very quickly during blow jobs, usually within two to three minutes; now it takes him around fifteen minutes. I can’t imagine getting upset with him over that, especially since I was the one “in charge” down there in the first place. (On the contrary, it turned me on to know I was turning him on so much and only made me want to do it to him more.) A hard penis moving in and out of a warm, wet hole is gonna respond accordingly. That’s how they were designed.
Tackle
@Billy Budd: “You seem lika nice harmless guy. Who happens to use this form ( Queerty) for entertainment and to express yourself? But when you have this many posters speaking out against you, then maybe you should take heed, and not that you should stop posting, but maybe tone it down just a bit. I have noticed that on articles that are sex related, or articles that feature men you find attractive, you can be vulgar, which in turn can be rather tacky. Saying on multiple posts that you’ll fu@k this guy, and suck that one is classless, and if the guys you are saying that about happens to read your post, they are probably thinking, YUCH!! Maybe you’re trying to OVERcompensate on here, by being this upfront, aggressive, bold, take-charged dominant studd, due to you being overweight, and not really feeling that good about yourself, and lacking self confidence in person? But I think people are beginning to see this.
hudson
boys, boys, boys lets give Billy a break. personally, I almost always find him amusing and i’m sure many of the rest of you do as well. 😉
Billy Budd
I am not a stud. I never said I was. But I am very sexual and open about my sexuality, and when I see something that I like, I do express myself freely. I thought this blog was an environment where we could drool over gorgeous guys, talk about sex, and LGBT related issues. Just because my profile is a little bit higher than average, people are being deliberately cruel and aggressive. I will never use their methods, because that would make me go down to their inferior levels.
These people are just envious of finding someone who is opinionaned, a free thinker, and unafraid to give honest opinions about anything. It bothers them.
jckfmsincty
Only 45%?
OrchidIslander
@Billy Budd: Billy, I say “frig em” and you continue to post away. If they don’t like your posts, they don’t have to read them. Like TV shows one dislikes, they can change the channel. You are hurting no one and – unlike some of your detractors – you are not attacking anyone either. If your comments were homogenized and fell into line like everyone else’s, you’d be more palatable to those who have issues with nonconformists.
Who says they have the right to censor you? They don’t.
You keep being you and if they have a problem with you, well, that’s their problem – not yours.
toberlin
GayTampaCowboy (really like this Name):Doing the Math for “the str8”: 2 x 2 “minutes a week”=4 minutes sex for commited couples….Oh dear!
Billy Budd
@OrchidIslander: Thanks so much for the kind words.
jockjack5
Surely having 11 erections a day would only occur in a 14 years old that has only just recently experienced this for the first time in his life and is rapidly growing to like the experience, and thus encourages his pecker to do so at every opportunity.
Oh to be a teen again!
jonjct
@Bromancer7: discretion is the better part of valor. what is the worst part of valor? what is valor? what does any of this mean? is this Greek?