Comments on: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka’s New Roles: Fathers

By: Rudy

Rudy — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:56:31 +0000

@M Shane: I can’t tell if Everett is just working overtime trying to retain his badboy reputation at age fifty or readying his third act as the next Quentin Crisp.
Certainly, he can’t really think of himself as some kind of radical while appearing nightly with Angela Lansbury on Broadway?

By: M Shane

M Shane — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:11:20 +0000

“Please. I want to be illegal. I want to live outside the mainstream. These awful middle-class queens—which is what the gay movement has become—are so tiresome. It’s all Abercrombie & Fitch and strollers. Everybody has the right to do what they want to do, but still…”
“And I think this surrogacy thing is crap. It is utterly hideous. I think it’s egocentric and vain. These endless IVF treatments people go through. I mean, if you are meant to have babies, then great. But this whole idea of two gay guys filling a cocktail shaker with their sperm and impregnating some grim lesbian and then it gets cut out is just really weird. If I did have the impulse to be a parent, I would adopt—or foster. But this whole thing of forcing the idea of parenthood and marriage on us gay men is so bogus.”
–Rupert Everet interview the Daily Beast

By: alan brickman

alan brickman — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:44:55 +0000

So in other words instead of being a straight self promoter…he’s now just a gay one…

By: marius

marius — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 05:45:08 +0000

Having gay dads is probably better for a kid than having a father you never met (me) and an overwhelmed mother raising 3 kids on her own.

Just saying that a lot of straight guys don’t even deserve to have children. They are worse than selfish.

Sorry for veering so much from the original story.

By: strumpetwindsock

strumpetwindsock — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 19:46:38 +0000

Remember that saying that it takes a village to raise a child? I don’t know about you, but I am part of that village.

By: strumpetwindsock

strumpetwindsock — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 19:45:22 +0000

@Don Laker:

So we should define ourselves strictly as whatever straight people are NOT?

I don’t think its that great a strategy to leave the raising of the next generation to the fundies and the homophobes.

How can we expect the straights who support us to raise open-minded kids (including the next generation of queers) if we are not in the picture and too full of ourselves to do any of the work?

By: hyhybt

hyhybt — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 18:09:33 +0000

@Don Laker: Ignoring the fact that this specific story is fiction, how exactly is it more selfish for gay men to want to have children than for straights? More *difficult*, yes.

By: marius

marius — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:38:17 +0000

NPH and Burtka are not having a baby – previous posts.

Some gay men make wonderful parents. Most aren’t famous. I can’t speak for the selfish aspect to it.

By: Don Laker

Don Laker — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 10:03:29 +0000

This is a purely selfish act. Imagine, two gay guys being selfish and self-centered! Shocked, I am shocked. I don’t care what NPH does (notice how all the self-righteous gays come out AFTER their careers are fully in place), but gay men having children is pure selfishness–like all the guys who get married and have kids, knowing full well they are gay. Get over yourselves. We’re queer–that means different.

By: Rock

Rock — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:47:58 +0000

A spokesperson for the couple just released a statement debunking these rumors. The rep told AfterElton,
“If Star says it, then it must be true! No, we are not currently expecting a baby. Maybe someday…”

By: Shae

Shae — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:14:19 +0000

Towleroad blog says that its not true.

By: zainelee

zainelee — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:52:13 +0000

Seriously people? They are doing this to try and fit in? Christ even gays who I thought wouldn’t be so judgemental. The balls people have behind a computer. So stupid.

By: Bri

Bri — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:19:16 +0000

@Andramata:

Have anyone every looked into adopting? Any gay man?

Uh, Dan Savage adopted. Wrote a book about it, too.

By: Andramata

Andramata — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:02:21 +0000

People are talking about adopt. Have anyone every looked into adopting? Any gay man? it is not easy! At all. It’s a grueling process and the chances of you getting the a kid as a single man yet a gay man are slim to none. Unless you have large amounts of cash to go through the legality of adoption it’s better to find a girl and get a kid of your own. Your genes your last name and you will live on! This way the state can’t take the child back when they find out he/she has two daddies!

By: Huh?

Huh? — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:30:51 +0000

@M Shane: “I think it will be interesting to see how these one sex rearings come out. Going wisdom is that it’s not a bad idea to have a bit of both male and female love to attach to in forming an identity. Maybe if one of the dads goes in drag and takes fem. homones. most of the time. Or even has a sex change for the kids sake! What the hell!”

…”What the hell!”…as in “What the hell are you talking about?

By: hyhybt

hyhybt — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:46:33 +0000

If they’re going the surrogacy route, I like the idea of taking a sample from each, mixing them together, and never testing to see which one took.

But really, it’s no one’s business but theirs. Congratulations.

By: TANK

TANK — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:23:26 +0000

@Mughal:

And lesbians, too. No, your sperm and egg are not that special, and it’s indefensible given the millions of children worldwide who need caring parents.

By: Mughal

Mughal — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:20:34 +0000

When my husband and I decided to have a child, we gave one split-second’s thought to surrogacy. Then my mother, aghast, said why be so selfish? If two guys wanted to be parents, there were thousands of children waiting to have a family. So we threw the momentary surrogacy thought out the window and waited. Freakishly, we got a call from our adoption agency 43 days after being approved and ended up with a five-week-old baby girl. Seven and a half years later, we couldn’t be happier than we were when we picked her up for the first time. And frankly, our daughter acts more like me and talks more like me than I could imagine any biological child doing! Guys and gals—adopt, adopt, adopt. Your sperm honestly isn’t that special.

By: strumpetwindsock

strumpetwindsock — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:01:21 +0000

@Kid A:

Oh Geez…. forgot about that.

‘scuse me M Shane.
I’ll trot back to the bathhouse where I belong and order myself another caesar.

By: TANK

TANK — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 04:45:43 +0000

@M Shane:

You have no actual data to support your claims; and data which discounts them. Go away.

By: Kid A

Kid A — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 04:24:02 +0000

@strumpetwindsock: What, you haven’t heard of the STRAIGHT AGENDA?

By: strumpetwindsock

strumpetwindsock — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:59:16 +0000

@M Shane:

So we’re not stable enough to handle real relationships and responsibility for children and we should just stay in our gay ghetto and stick to doing gay stuff, eh?

Maybe we shouldn’t even talk to straights. It might be catching. And queers who had kids before they came out… I guess they’re too far gone already.

Considering most of us came from families with straight parents I’m not sure what you imagine we have to resist being assimilated into. I already have a partially straight family

By: M Shane

M Shane — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:34:55 +0000

@Alan: not buying into the ‘new closet ‘ of marriage conformity is hardly jaded. sounds like you’ve been asleep.

By: Ted C.

Ted C. — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:46:39 +0000

@alan brickman: For a while, NPH was working under a “neither confirm nor deny” policy about being gay. But then his PR agent issued a denial (without checking with NPH first), so that prompted NPH to issue a correction to the denial. And that’s how he came out.

So he came out voluntarily and never lied about it, but he also probably would have liked to have dodged the question a bit longer.

Oh god, why do I even know this.

By: Manny

Manny — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:30:52 +0000

@alan brickman: He wasn’t forced out. He came out when it was right for him, as it should be for everyone.

By: alan brickman

alan brickman — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:11:44 +0000

he was forcibly outed and now he enjoys all the benfits of being gay…no hero to me..

By: Manny

Manny — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:00:52 +0000

I think Clay created the best possible family. He has a female partner/best friend to raise his son with, and a hot boyfriend to love. Everyone knows and likes/loves everyone. It doesn’t get any better than that.

By: Alan

Alan — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 23:08:35 +0000

@M Shane: You play the role of the jaded queen quite well *yawn*

By: Theo

Theo — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:44:09 +0000

I’m guessing if this is true it will be Neil’s since he has said in interviews before that David has twins from a previous relationship.

By: Jason Chan

Jason Chan — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:43:31 +0000

Why can’t we simply say “Congratulations” and call it a day.

By: M Shane

M Shane — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:12:33 +0000

Also , it seems by and large that marriage , for all the unnecessary trouble it’s bringing, with traditionalists, is an assimilationist tactic, otherwise gays would be looking for their own version of unification: Civil Unions. It became an issue with the pious turds a la Sulllivan and his death of gay liberation.

If people wanted something that was our own and not a copy of straight middle class conformity they would get behind something that will work and that we can get. Something that won’t start a religious war. That’s all we will have after all anyway.despite all the squacking.

Funny how Europeans and people who are prowd to be gay
want Civil Unions. I’ll be fucked if I ever get married after spending my life being proud of who I am. I don’t really belive that guys who want too be housewives like mom are anything but homophobic.

By: M Shane

M Shane — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 21:51:05 +0000

P.s. My fear is that these things are inextricably part of an assimilation agenda. My experience so far with these adoptions is that the people who do them are more concerned about fitting in than any interest of the child. Especially in the case where we don’t have any idea of how the marriage thing will work out overall between two males.
To bet thehappiness and sanity of a child on something which lies in the world of fantasy is questionableethically at least. People act as if marriages between two meen will be
even nearly as stable and successfulas those between straights, which ffail %60 of the time. And gay marriages are not nearly that successful.

By: galefan2004

galefan2004 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 21:00:32 +0000

@ggreen: Where I’m from, its a little of both.

By: ggreen

ggreen — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:01:11 +0000

First it was weird hair, then tattoos, now children. Is it hillbilly or homo?

By: galefan2004

galefan2004 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:37:26 +0000

@M Shane: Lol. You must be insane. Their is PLENTY of research done on how the children of same sex couples turn out. In all cases they turn out the same if not better than those raised in more traditional families.

By: galefan2004

galefan2004 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:35:43 +0000

@GaleFan2004: Thank you for masking my name. I am truly flattered. However, unlike you, I am not a complete and utter moron that would come up with a question of such stupidity. Still, thank you for the honor and privilege of being your obsession.

By: tavdy79

tavdy79 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:33:52 +0000

What’s with the assumption it’ll by NPH’s DNA that creates their sprog? It could be the genes of that handsome husband of his.

@Fitz: good point about adoption.

By: Fitz

Fitz — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:21:57 +0000

I’m not so excited to support this. Talk about a vanity project. If they want to be dads, there is no shortage of kids, even babies, needing loving good homes. no need to make another one. Your DNA ain’t that special, Doogie.

By: TANK

TANK — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:18:06 +0000

How trendy.

By: strumpetwindsock

strumpetwindsock — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 19:17:12 +0000

@M Shane:

Try telling that one to all the single parents in the world.
Didn’t the nuclear family idea die in the 1960s?
Do you think there will be no grandparents in the picture? Are these guys going to bolt their doors, home school and not let the poor kid out until s/he reaches 18?

Of course there are going to be women in their lives, if that is such a crucial part of raising a balanced human being.

In any case, more power to them. Raising kids is no easy task.