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New Plan For Winning Marriage Equality: Annoy People With Tacky Accessories

Because the real measure of whether something is a real cause or not is whether there’s a ribbon and/or jelly bracelet attached to it, a bunch of enterprising gays have come up with our very own marriage equality thingamajig: The white knot.

As some have already pointed out, the white knot is horribly irredeemably racist, being white and all. Curse you race-baiting marriage equality knot! Besides, it’s confusing. Does the knot symbolize the union of marriage? Is it a pun on the phrase “Why Not?” Does it represent the thorny, knotted nature of the issue or just the fact that married people get bored of sex and ultimately wind up experimenting with bondage?

Who knows? Who cares? All we know is that the one thing the world does not need more of is annoying self-righteous political fashion accessories.

The idea was inventive thirty years ago when it was first used to show support for AIDS victims, but since then it’s been appropriated by every single last cause in the universe, turning a once powerful statement into an easy way to know who to avoid at cocktail parties.

Did you know that the color white on a ribbon can symbolize adoption, Alzheimer’s disease, bone disease and bone cancer, child exploitation and abuse, diabetes, free Speech, innocence, Multiple Sclerosis, peace, poverty awareness, purity, student sexual assault or victims of terrorism? Well you will, knot-wearers, once someone comes up to you and congratulates you on your support for allowing outspoken, adopted, very, very sick, virgins who’ve been sexually abused by terrorists the right to get hitched. Or you know, kinky.

The site already has blog badges, flyers and a Facebook group, so it’s too late to stop the ribboned masses from smugly showing that they care. Soon we’ll be seeing Rachel Zoe pinning diamond cloisonn√ɬ© white knots onto Debra Messing’s Oscar dress– but we’re not happy about it. I’m afraid not.

By:           Japhy Grant
On:           Nov 19, 2008
Tagged: , ,

  • 36 Comments
    • Nate
      Nate

      Although I would never wear one of these, part of me would get really snarky if I had one of these clipped on my jacket.

      Old lady “Oh, what does your pretty ribbon mean?”

      Me: “I want equal marriage rights!! ARRRGH!!!”

      Nov 19, 2008 at 2:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff
      Jeff

      I didn’t think it was such a horrible idea. The more publicity, the better.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 2:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      I’m a frayed knot.

      Oh, you.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 2:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe Moag
      Joe Moag

      DAMN! And I was gonna bust out my Frankie Goes to Hollywood shirts and update them. Damn!!!

      Nov 19, 2008 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe Moag
      Joe Moag

      How about white hankies in our back pockets? I forget – does that mean I fist or I want to get fisted?

      Nov 19, 2008 at 2:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pete
      Pete

      WOW…the whole tone of this blog has completely changed…almost every post It reads as Snarky and sarcastic…

      Used to be witty and insightfull…too bad.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bob
      Bob

      Yes, let’s dismiss a tactic that could raise awareness of the issue simply because we like to be bitchy and criticize everything. Sigh …

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sam
      Sam

      Fredo777 :)

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe Moag
      Joe Moag

      Wait – I remember. White Hanky, left back pocket, means I want get fisted by a Mormon.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • michael
      michael

      I don’t mind the creation of a symbol but maybe they should have
      used rainbow fabric or something, the white fabric is kinda creepy.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • michael
      michael

      what about 2 interlocking cock rings? Now I have to go think up something for our sisters.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • michael
      michael

      what about 2 interlocking cock rings? Now I have to go think up something for our sisters.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ILOVEZ
      ILOVEZ

      I’m so posting blog badge on my blog.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hughman
      hughman

      1. It’s a knot because of the common phrase used for marriage to “tie the knot”. Duh.

      2. White is usually a symbol for marriage in dresses, etc.

      3. Thirty years ago, i.e. 1978, the disease wasn’t even called AIDS yet let alone known as a medical disease, talked about or organized against. To say the red ribbon was invented then to show support for people with AIDS is obviously wrong.

      God forbid your lame attempt to snark about anything should get in the way of, you know, actual thought or writing.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ethan
      Ethan

      Why is this a bad idea, in the scheme of things every bit helps…

      Why be so negative about it…

      Nov 19, 2008 at 3:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      @Sam: Hi, Sam.

      Do we know each other from another site?

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Al Benson
      Al Benson

      Legitimate question: Is the new ‘tone’ on this blog because of the change in editorship or from a lack of patience in the aftermath of the losses we suffered. I am hoping its the latter; the last thing we need is cynicism.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Darth Paul
      Darth Paul

      Knots are just a terrible symbol of marriage since it reinforces that idiotic and childish notion that you own your partner and vice versa. Unless you’re in BDSM, there’s nothing loving or even sexy about owning a human.

      This whole affair just smacks of gay-imitating-straight (yet again). Let me know when the gay marriage initiative comes up with something unique and amounting to something else besides outrage and publicity for its own sake.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ethan
      Ethan

      @Al Benson … I hope its the later as well but it kinda shows up in most posts…

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris
      Chris

      I’m sorry, why is this a terrible idea again? I mean, yes, the Livestrong bracelets have been latched on to as something trendy (as have Genalen bottles and AIDS walks and Live Aid concerts) but that doesn’t make them harmful to the cause of supporting gay marriage. Only not as helpful as something else, something that you don’t suggest. So… kinda gotta call shenanigans on this whole post. I think the ribbons are a good idea (or at least a not bad one).

      Plus, seriously? Racist? Billy Idol must be a real pig.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tim
      Tim

      @Joe Moag: You made my day Joe!

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jack
      jack

      look… being completely serious here, i am of two minds.

      i like the idea of a asymbol. that said, the ribbon seems pretty corny and derivative.

      i think the criticism is deserved but throwing the IDEA of a solidarity symbol out on that basis is a little “precious” don’t you think?

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jack
      jack

      oh, and don’t pick on the new guy. andy used to piss me off regularly snarking things i believe in. i probably started posting because of that.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ahoke
      ahoke

      LULZ at people saying this blog is just now becoming snarky. did you actually read it before?

      Nov 19, 2008 at 4:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tim in SF
      Tim in SF

      Oh, God, THANK YOU for saying this. I saw the White Knot idea on Towel Road this morning and spent at least thirty seconds frozen in ambivalence: Is it lame because it’s an overused symbol, it’s been done (and re-done and re-done), it’s tired and unoriginal, it’s more eighties than Member’s Only jackets, it’s cliched beyond redemption, or because it’s so fucking boring?

      So hard to pick just one. But do I really want to be the bitch who calls this lameness out? No.. not really. So, thanks Queerty, for performing an unpopular but very necessary task. You are the new Richard Blackwell for lame social trends.

      Hey, wanna know how my husband and I symbolize our marriage? BY WEARING OUR WEDDING RINGS.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 5:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe Moag
      Joe Moag

      @Tim in SF: RIGHT ON!

      Nov 19, 2008 at 5:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChristopherM
      ChristopherM

      I do not want my method of promoting my support for equal marriage rights to be answering questions every five minutes about why I’m wearing a white bow. That’s cute for a five-year-old kindergarten girl, not for grown-ass people.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 6:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Roland Basque
      Roland Basque

      I think it’s really cool to be anti-gay.I mean what does “gay” entail?Is it about a bunch of heterophobes trying to advance their own intolerant and narcissistic agenda?Everyone I know enjoys mimicking and making sport of the self absorbed nebbish twits who consider themselves candidates for veneration just because they are so called gay.Nobody really likes queers they just consider them material for great comedy.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 10:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Roland Basque
      Roland Basque

      IS there anything queers do beside whining and bellyachin’ about their poor misunderstood plight.Queers know they are an aberration of nature.Yet they try and force feed this pap and piffle about how wonderful they are and how society should grant them there every little wish.What great advances have queers contributed to the well being of all? They live in their own egotistical convuluted world and think the rest of society should worship them.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 10:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      The trolls come out at night.

      The trolls come out at niiiiiiiiight.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 10:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jake H.
      Jake H.

      oh homegirl… did you just get dumped? you have got some serious sand in your vagina. wash that shit out, baby. feel better, child.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 2:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug
      Doug

      @fredo777: I see fredo as every single blog spot on queerty has yet to meet your idiotic innuendos.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 3:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • michael
      michael

      @Roland Basque: yaaaawn!
      The trolls are so boring and dim tonight. Wake me up when one of them comes up with something thats original, unique and truly inflaming. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 4:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      @Doug: Wtf are you yammering on about now?

      Don’t bother. On your best day, you’re not on my level when I’m at my worst.

      Adios.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 5:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Willie Hewes
      Willie Hewes

      Um, yeah. Lame. Sorry.

      It’s not a BAD idea, just not a good one, either. Keep thinking, people. We have to do better than this.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 9:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael vdB
      Michael vdB

      I don’t know. I can see how this campaign can get confusing with the white theme that the “End Poverty” Campaign has on right now. Besides the fact there are already soooo many ribbons, bracelets, and car decals out there that it just has become ho-drum. Much like the “Baby on Board” signs you see in the back of someone’s car as they cut you off on the highway. I support my positions through dialouge, not some tacky piece of material.

      P.S. Japhy, don’t ever stop posting the fun stuff. I needed more then just a half naked man to lighten my day. PUPPIES! :)

      Nov 21, 2008 at 12:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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