America’s under attack. No, we’re not talking about Al-Qaeda or some horrific terror organization. It’s much, much worse: lesbians. And not just any old lesbians. Lesbian gangs. Eeks!
Thankfully, Bill O’Reilly and Fox crime analyst Rod Wheeler (!) took to the airwaves last week to warn their fellow Americans of the dyke threat. According to them, groups of lady-loving ladies (and some dudes) are ganging up on innocent straight men, beating them up and destroying our nation’s nascent masculinity. (It’s like Opus The Penguin come to life!)
Besides beating our boys, these fearsome ladies are going into our schools to brainwash new recruits into their dens of violent sin!! Guard your loved ones, friends, for America may never recover from the nightmarish groups, one of which apparently calls themselves “Dykes Taking Over” - a name O’Reilly relays with the perfect blend of relish and venom.
Thanks, Billy Boy. If it weren’t for you, we would continue living our lives accepting lesbians. And that would be worse than anything bin Laden could dream up…
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Wow, somebody must’ve stayed up late watching Foxfire, starring Angelina Jolie.
Okay, I don’t doubt that there are gay and lesbian gangs. We know they exist–disenfranchised people protecting their own in poor neighborhoods isn’t exactly new. But that first video? Come on. I, for one, have a hard time believing that a violent gang of queer women (or any women, really) from low-income backgrounds are going to look and dress like the Sweet Valley High Cheerleaders.
And since these gangs are most assuredly not the Sweet Valley High Cheerleaders, I’m sure not all of those “innocent” straight men they’re assaulting are just minding their own business. The targets of these assaults do have a tendency to mouth off at their assailants. Anyone remember Sakia Gunn? (Probably not.) Sakia wasn’t in a gang, but she sure as hell wasn’t beating up on some random dude–she and her friends were defending themselves against some guys who decided to egg them on. Not saying that gangs don’t attack innocent people to prove a point (they do), but this segment was even sketchier than O’Reilly’s usual bouts of horse shit.
Oh, and one more thing, folks–”nascent” means “new’ or “just forming,” and I’m pretty sure masculinity in this country isn’t at that stage.
Hey, wasn’t the assault they referred to this incident? http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....78_pf.html You know, the one with the stilletto heel? If that’s the case, then that so-called innocent straight boy was the member of a rival gang.
this is a parody, right? if not, the Daily Show & Colbert Report may as well hang it up, because this is far funnier than anything they could ever come up with.
I love how he only cited one incident. What a douche.
this is hilarious.
i was really hoping o’reilly was going to say something about how gays and lesbians aren’t associated with violence as much as they are interior decorating and shelf-building.
Rod Wheeler is a Food Protection Specialist
http://www.ibie2007.com/attendee/bio_wheeler.asp
” Experience: Former director of the Office of Food Security and Emergency Preparedness with the Food Products Association where he developed a series of food security and defense programs to support food processing, manufacturing and retail food outlets. Previously served as Secretariat of the Food and Agricultural Coordinating Council, which is a national body of Food Industry and Government Leaders. ”
Yeah dipsh*t we’ll ask your advice when a dyke spits in someone’s salad. WHAT a JOKE he and Bill-o are!
Wheeler also recanted any connection to Pink Pistols, I hope they sue O’Reilly, FAUX, and Wheeler’s a$$ off!
leapin’ lesbians!
I’m showing my age
as a transexual-lesbian woman living HER life as a woman; I see those macho guys you are talking about here and think to myself ” what a bunch of penis toting male monkey morons with their millitary hair cuts that look like they were electrocuted!” to the genetic woman dykes who fox news best imbecile , bill o’ reilly himself, is refferring to? maybe they should attack more of these “male gorrilla goons” that make me, as a transexual ; walk in fear constantly. FEMINIST POWER! HONEY! WHEN HILLARY GETS ELECTED, THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE FOR THE OLD BOYS NETWORK AND BOTH RUSH AND BILL CAN RETIRE!
Amen, sister.
But we all know Hillary’s gonna lose.
I’m not so sure. The right-wing will go batshit crazy if Hillary is nominated. Bush got away with a lot by pretending to be a ‘compassionate conservative.’ People bought into the lie. I think we’ll see unrestrained ugliness if it’s Hillary, and say what you will about the electorate, I think that ugliness will turn the majority of people off.
Which is a round about way of saying, I think she has a pretty solid chance.
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