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Newt Gingrich Had To Cheat On His Wife Because He’s Such A Patriot

How does Newt Gingrich know that god loves him? Because he is such a patriot, he cheated on his wife, and god forgave him — that’s how! It’s another example of Newt so conveniently explaining away his sins while trying to legislate those of others.

By:           JD
On:           Mar 10, 2011
Tagged: , , ,

  • 21 Comments
    • Cam
      Cam

      Gingrich wants to use the Bible to control people’s lives.

      Well fine, according to Luke, if a man divorces his wife and marries another, he is committing adultry against his first wife. And ADULTRY, is a big no no, one of the TEN BIG NO NO’s…whereas gays only have Grumpy old St. Paul talking about us….God himself handed down the Ten Commandments.

      So actually the only Biblical way that Gingrich would be cleared of his sin and be completely forgiven would be to leave his 3rd wife and go back with his first.

      Newt, until you do that…I don’t want to hear word one from you about what the Bible says…got it?

      Mar 10, 2011 at 10:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Bonzitski
      Scott Bonzitski

      I’m gay and God said He does NOT forgive me because He made me that way and it is NOT a sin…SB

      Mar 10, 2011 at 10:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim Hlavac
      Jim Hlavac

      Oh Newt didn’t just go against the No Adultery Commandment.
      #2 — He lied, so that’s “bearing false witness.”
      #3 — He coveted his neighbor’s wife and maid servant
      #4 — Took the Lord’s name in vain.
      and #5 — somehow cheating on three wives and chucking two of them is not “honor thy father and mother” particularly when the two sets of parents stood there for the first vow of “until death do us part.” And the second. And maybe even the third.
      So the man has burned through a full 1/2 of the Commandments.
      And he’s yet to throw a rock at himself for the Bible is pretty clear that only stoning to death is good for divorcees.

      Meanwhile, I did not “lay with a man as with a women” – it’s physically impossible. I lay with a man like he’s a man. So I’m in the clear. We all are on that one.

      Mar 10, 2011 at 11:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      Don’t use god and the flag?!!? If he can’t use god and the flag he has nothing to say let along defend himself.

      He is a clown and if there is a god, this idiot will be the Republican nominee! Obama landslide 2012!!!

      Mar 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mykelb
      mykelb

      Newtie is grand for the Democratic Party. I hope he gets the nomination.

      Mar 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • divkid
      divkid

      his cant is perfectly in accordance with an august tradition:

      “LORD MAKE ME CHASTE , BUT NOT YET”

      he KNOWS in his soul he is one of the elect; and that his actions are already predetermined, could not have been otherwise. his sad struggle is all part of gods divine plan for glorification of newt.

      Mar 10, 2011 at 1:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • divkid
      divkid

      actually i got that sooo wrong i don’t believe this fine upstanding citizen has a single belief in his body other than lust for raw naked power.

      his former baptist, and now catholic beliefs are merely and transparently, vehicles for his ego, similarly his muslim-bating and secular bashing.

      these power obsessive personality types are interchangeable. you could have dropped him down amidst the soviet apparachiks, or in 30s berlin, or the khmer rouge. he would have talked the talk. and convinced you he was believer in: {insert here}

      because its all about the prize: and thats power. but they don’t feel the effects, are not satiated, unless and until they get to push people around. or if the historical circumstances permit — much worse.

      Mar 10, 2011 at 2:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the crustybastard
      the crustybastard

      Newt Gingrich is the living embodiment of the adage, “when fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in the flag and waving a cross.”

      Mar 10, 2011 at 2:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dvlaries
      dvlaries

      Yet dim Newty doesn’t understand that Clinton doing Lewinsky was merely co-patriot Bill’s way of saluting Uncle Sam too…?

      Mar 10, 2011 at 5:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • justiceontherocks
      justiceontherocks

      Well, the presidency is a hard job. You have to work very hard. I guess old Newt has admitted that if he gets to the White House he will do things wrong.

      Don’t you love it when an amoral prick like him lectures everyone else on morality?

      Mar 10, 2011 at 5:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oprah
      Oprah

      Who actually has SEX with this goon? Really? Isnt he disgusting?

      Mar 10, 2011 at 7:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      I can’t believe you Oprah! Both you and Newt believe that homosexuality is a sin. Why wouldn’t you support him?

      Mar 10, 2011 at 8:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris
      Chris

      Oh god, the republicans are going to tear themselves apart in this primary and obama’s just gunna rip the shit out of them in the election :D

      Mar 10, 2011 at 9:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      As Hemingway said “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

      Mar 10, 2011 at 9:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oprah
      Oprah

      Soupy

      Well, Newt is a republican. I am an unabashedly conservative liberal.Actually, i am also a fiscally and socially conservative if that makes sense?I dislike Newt because he is physically, unattractive, and he is lately ruining his steady intelligence repute with inflamatory rhetorics.I am also very religious, that explains my opinions on gay-ism’. That doesnt mean i am a bigot, it just means i follow the scripture. :)

      Mar 10, 2011 at 9:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oprah
      Oprah

      And please Soupy, enuf with the old tired ‘shelfish’ arguement. LOL

      Mar 10, 2011 at 9:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      Sure, we can move on the abomination of shaving (Lev.), cursing (ephes.), gossip (lev.), football on saturday (exodus), eating pork (lev.), cotton/polyester blends (lev.), and associating with women who are having their periods (lev.)

      Do you follow those scriptures? Because they are equated the same as lying with a man.

      Mar 11, 2011 at 8:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981
      Shannon1981

      I just don’t get how anyone gives this man any credit. Seriously. He’s a liar, an adulturer, and an all around sinner according to the book people like him preach at us from. It’s ok for him to ‘sin’ but not us? I grew up being force fed the buybull. I know what it says. Why the fuck do people like him get to pick and choose which parts are worthy of obeying and which ones aren’t? He’s a despicable waste of flesh, and I can’t wait for the day he is done for good.

      Mar 11, 2011 at 10:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      This is very similar to Oprah on here, who gets to pick and choose which part of the scriptures are more important. Re: shellfish vs. homosexuality.

      Mar 11, 2011 at 10:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oprah
      Oprah

      Soupy

      Those are new testament. I follow the old testament. lol

      Mar 11, 2011 at 3:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      Miss Oprah, leviticus and exodus are old testament. You don’t know your bible at all, do you? You filthy sinner.

      Mar 11, 2011 at 5:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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