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No, Luan’s High School Principal Is Not Making Him Disappear From The Internet

If there’s one thing all the bloggers at this website agree on, it’s that Luan — the fast-talking, trash-talking cewebrity — is The Awesome. We’ve seen his motor mouth put anti-fem gays in their place. We’ve seen his lightening speed lips advise ghey guys who are so desperate to be in relationships. And now we see Luan working up a sweat over his Texas high school trying to intervene on his Internet career. OH HELLZ NO.

Administrators at Luan’s school, where he graduates in two months, have discovered his YouTube channel, which is pretty silly, because this kiddo has been vlogging long enough to regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views per video. (I’ll go out on a limb and attribute his mass appeal to his sass appeal.) But they’ve got a problem with how Luan’s web videos are, uh, reflecting on the school. So his principal told him he can either delete the videos, or get suspended.

So Luan is folding, and agreeing to the terms.

“I know you think I’m a bitch for not fighting this,” says Luan. “I feel like a big bitch.”

Oh. April Fool’s? You stupid bitch! Love it.

By:           JD
On:           Apr 2, 2011
Tagged: , , ,
  • 21 Comments
    • Joe
      Joe

      If Luan feels himself to be so wonderful (and who knows, maybe he is) why does he feel the need to adopt the persona of a young black girl?

      Apr 2, 2011 at 2:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JayInDC
      JayInDC

      @Joe: What a racist, sexist thing to say.

      Apr 2, 2011 at 2:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Red Meat
      Red Meat

      @Joe: why do you feel you need to take the persona of a white straight guy? you are gay dumbass? Double standards much?

      Apr 2, 2011 at 3:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike1987
      Mike1987

      @Joe: That’s funny Joe, screw the other posters (well, maybe not)

      Apr 2, 2011 at 4:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe
      Joe [Different person #1 using similar name]

      I forgot to mention wheelchair-bound, transexual, holocaust survivor.

      There. Now you really have something to whine about.

      Apr 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Riker
      Riker

      @Joe: Some gay men are sassy. Some gay men are fem. Get over yourself, honestly.

      Apr 2, 2011 at 7:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hellarious
      Hellarious

      If you ever get into a barfight, it really helps to have a sassy guy with you: they often can fight tooth and nail, and are strong as f*+k. Don’t underestimate someone because he seems femme. I wish I could pack a punch like some of my sassier friends……

      Apr 2, 2011 at 9:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alex
      Alex

      Lol. That was a good one!

      @Joe: what persona would be more consonant with him being himself?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 2:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • declanto
      declanto

      I want to hug him and feed him bon-bons and see if I can maybe fit him into my Prada and take him home.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 4:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • declanto
      declanto

      @Joe: You are soooo fucked. Have you seen anything like this? http://luanlegacy.tumblr.com/ Admit it, you’re envy-driven. Well, eat your heart out, He’s hot, You’re not.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 5:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scribe
      scribe

      luan this really got me… i actually felt bad for you…. maybe you should look into acting lol. i was ready to write a check for a lawyer and protest

      Apr 3, 2011 at 9:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe
      Joe

      Wow, lots of really uptight people on qweerty today.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ruhlmann
      Ruhlmann

      @Joe: I clicked the video, went to make coffee and was listening to it from the kitchen. When I came back I was shocked to see a young asian man and not a young black woman. Am I racist or sexist? No I am not.

      Apr 4, 2011 at 10:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      @Ruhlman: How someone speaks is more a function of where they grew up than the hue of their skin. Several Asian-American people I go to school with grew up in an area which is predominantly African-American and their speech patterns are, at times, indistinguishable from many urban AAs.

      My Black neices were born & raised in the same rural environment I was, and they, like me, talk like “hicks” when at home & around family/friends.

      That may not apply to Luan, but as a fellow standup comic I’ll add that I rarely perform in my own vernacular. It goes with the territory. I am not a 67 year old Irish man, or a 42 year old Scottish spinstress, but that’s beside the point.

      Apr 5, 2011 at 12:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ruhlmann
      Ruhlmann

      @Jeffree: As a French Canadian (Northern Ontario dialect) with First Nation relatives and Black, Newfie and Quebecois friends I understand that.

      I have no French accent at all but the cadence of my speech, some pronunciation and my enthusiastic inclusion of my hands when speaking is discernable as French. You retain in varying degree those first five years of cultural and familial environment regardless of what you might conciously or unconciously assume once you venture forth into the world marginally competent when entering school in multicultural societies. You may want or for survival need to become like “them” whatever that is, but you don’t become “them” if you are psychologically healthy and have self respect unless of course your DNA entitles you.

      I assumed, incorrectly, without a visual cue that Luan was a young AA woman. Reviewing the video I can see it’s all too exagerated in manner and vulgarity, I would hope. I believe Luan is a performer rather than an honest manifestation of this variant of urban African American(?) cultural influence or association. In this it may be that it is Luan who is racist and sexist. Just now I wonder of it. Adieu, Jeffree.

      Apr 5, 2011 at 5:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      @Ruhlmann: Yes, Luann is a performer, and his manner is exaggerated & hyperkinetic. He’s probably not had much training, as evidenced by his material and delivery. On stage, one does need to play up intonation and gestures, but for a video, it’s waaaay too much for my liking. I have no idea how he speaks off camera.

      Thanks for the genetic and cultural history. I can’t reciprocate because as an adoptee I know nothing of my ethnic background other than a few hints from facial features. My first words were in the Southern Italian dialect of my first foster family, but I grew up speaking English and learned a couple other languages along the way. I do voice-overs from time to time, but it’s tedious work. Stand-up is
      a more enjoyable hobby.

      You & I could have a long discussion about Luan’s motivations and cultural identity, but it would all be idle speculation. And since I find him uninteresting [& vapid], I would probably change the subject anyway! Or nod off…. His fault, not yours.

      “Adieu” is a funny word. In Switzerland and parts of Southern France it still means “goodbye” but further north it’s said when someone is about to die, or has in fact died! I hope it means something else when you say it. You’ll have to enlighten me as to its use where you’re from.

      Puisque je n’ai pas l’intention de crever pendant la nuit, je te dis “A la prochaine.”

      Oh, & I’m sorry to have misspelled your name in the prior post.

      Apr 5, 2011 at 6:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alex
      Alex

      @Ruhlmann: ” You may want or for survival need to become like “them” whatever that is, but you don’t become “them” if you are psychologically healthy and have self respect unless of course your DNA entitles you.”

      Woah. What does that mean, unless your DNA entitles you?

      Apr 5, 2011 at 11:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ruhlmann
      Ruhlmann

      @Jeffree: Jacques-Emile Ruhlmann was a cabinet maker and designer from the Alsace Lorraine region of France. I am a Furniture Polisher and Ebonist by trade. I am inspired by his artistry and use his name online often. I hadn’t noticed you mispelled it.

      A la prochaine ( see you ) is how my posh Montreal relatives would have said adieu. Rest assured I meant good bye, farewell. Northern Ontario French is pared and basic Quebecois. I grew up hearing things like “ferme la vitree” which of course in proper French should have been “ferme la fenetre”. It is also sprinkled with English words that are sometimes awkwardly pronounced with a Francophone accent. The car ( l’automobile ) was “le shar” or “la machin”. My mother called it Francais de Bois. I grew up in a forest.

      I am sorry to hear that your heritage is not known to you. I Know I am most like the people I loved the most in my family. I am “thingy” about certain things in everday life and I can identify how I came to be so. I am not sure how important this is but I am glad of it. I hope your not knowing has not been an impediment to enjoying life.

      Baa maa pii, Jeffree ( you can google it)

      Apr 6, 2011 at 12:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      @Ruhlmann: Wassup? Kwa de 9? Merci de ton message. One of these days, I’ll share the story of how I got into —and almost got “viré” from–the bilingual school.

      The French has come in handy. My better half is Swiss-Canadian, and the in-laws-to-be do accuse me of being “posh” until they hear my English! Chuis pas BCBG, pourtant! I’m sure they call me “plouc” behind my back.

      My favorite Canadian word is “le dépanneur” which I learned very quickly while in Montreal for the comedy festival. Luan would prob call it the “kona stow” because, well, who really knows!

      Be well.

      Apr 6, 2011 at 12:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ruhlmann
      Ruhlmann

      @Alex: If Luan’s mother or father were African American his mimicry of said, could be viewed by some, and claimed by him, as legitimate…maybe. His gender of course throws a big fat heavy wrench into the whole thing and right now I need a drink. Toodeloo Alex

      Apr 6, 2011 at 12:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alex
      Alex

      @Ruhlmann: That’s what I thought you meant, but I wanted to be sure…

      To summarize: what you’ve said is that everyone must sound the way your stereotypes do — whether based on where they grew up, or what ethnicity/social class they are in — or they’re either psychologically unhinged or lacking self respect.

      Just because someone doesn’t sound the way you expect they should from their looks, you start judging the bejesus out of them? That makes you, not Luan, the bigot.

      Apr 6, 2011 at 12:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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