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No, Straight Guys Working At Gay Bars Aren’t Going to Volunteer Their Sexuality

I don’t really share it right away. For some people, it ruins it for them. I don’t really make it an issue to go around blabbing that I’m a straight guy.

—Matthew Begale, a 23-year-old married straight doorman at the gay bar Sidetrack in Chicago’s Boystown, who got the job after applying there with his twin brother, who works as a bartender [via]

By:           Ryan Tedder
On:           Aug 13, 2010
Tagged: ,
  • 41 Comments
    • Black Pegasus
      Black Pegasus

      OK, and what??

      I would love to offer my typical drive-by comment, but there’s nothing for me to comment on..LOL

      Come on Queerty… Step it up!

      Aug 13, 2010 at 11:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ConcernedCitizen
      ConcernedCitizen

      @Black Pegasus: so agreed this is not anything new or noteworthy.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 11:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      What is the obsession with straight men? Couldn’t a gay person do the job just as well as some het? We bitch and moan that we don’t have equality, then douchebags like that bar owner actively discriminate against queers in hiring. Boycott the bar until they hire gay staff.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Blaine Ward
      Blaine Ward

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: Straights hire and run these bars because they can get their weak egos flattered by all that gay attention :)

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hilarious
      Hilarious

      Straight guys are so sure any of us want them. Give me a break. Have they seen the hundreds if not thousands of gay men walking around them in various cities who are far more attractive than them?

      Deflate that ego. I don’t even see how these tools get hired in gay establishments. I doubt they’d do the same for us.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdWoody
      EdWoody

      Is it not possible that he just wanted a job? And at the same place as his brother? Must we call him narcissistic?

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hilarious
      Hilarious

      @EdWoody: If he just wanted a job he wouldn’t have been quoted saying how he keeps his sexuality to himself lest he shatter the dreams of all the gay boys who are drooling over him and only him.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PopSnap
      PopSnap

      I dunno, I mean, I am all for everyone loving each other & rainbows and equality and straights being in our bars/clubs but… isn’t it just a tad self-loathing that we obsess over straight guys? It seems like a throwback to high school. I used to have a major crush on my straight friend on the football team. He & I have known eachother since grade school and he has a gay uncle so he was cool with me. It was one of the most heartbreaking things I ever went through, and it made hanging with him unbearable at times because of how much I wanted him (and no, I couldn’t “help” it, as a lonely, hormonal, gay teen).

      Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate his friendship, just as I appreciate these straight dudes being comfortable enough with us to be friendly with our community. But still, I’d rather be around other gay men at this point in my life.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • soakman
      soakman

      Oh come on. It’s the same thing any het woman would do if she worked in ANY bar. Flirt a little for the tips and have no intention of taking the customers home after work.

      It’s common in hospitality to preen your feathers and send out false signals. It how they make their money. Heck, with tips being the main method of earning their weeks wages, they have to.

      It’s the main reason why I have never tried very hard to get a job bartending at a straight bar. Men just don’t make as much there.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rick H
      Rick H

      There was a complete two page article that goes woth this story. He is a twin and both of them work at Side Track. It was a story in Red Line that again focused on just Side Track and Mini Bar on Halsted Street in the area known as Boystown.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lane
      Lane

      I think that you need to mention that the guy’s twin brother is gay and they wanted to work together.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 12:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      To everyone pointing out that these are twins, one gay, the other straight; as being somehow ok that a gay bar hires straight staff, please read this from the article:

      A brainstorm led the 23-year-old brothers to realize twins might be more sought-after in Boystown. They were quickly hired…

      Does anyone really believe this was about anything more than money? If the het twin knew he could make more at a straight venue, he’d be there. And one must wonder if the bar owner would have hired the gay twin, if the straight one wasn’t included as a package deal.

      I’ve seen too many friends turned down for jobs at gay venues, only to see those same venues hire straight staff. One friend was told flat out by the owner, he weas too queeny to work there. That is discrimination that far too many queers allow to happen within our very own establishments.

      That’s why when I do occasioanlly go out to a bar, or club, I make sure it is gay owned and operated.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • good service
      good service

      @soakman: Exactly. I go to a gay restaurant where all the hot young waiters flirt with everyone male/female young/old hetero/gay/bi, and I know for a fact that almost 1/2 of them are straight! Flirting for both straight and gay waiters gets them bigger tips, regular customers and it makes the work/dining experience more fun and enjoyable for everyone all around… why not.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 1:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DR
      DR

      If they’re good at their jobs and the bar patrons like them, what else matters? Enough with the ghettos, already. When I go out, all I care about is whether or not my bartender can pour a beer, not who he sleeps with.

      And for Mr. Emininem, the non-discrimination laws in Illinois apply to gays AND straights, so for all of you bitching about how these guys should only hire gay bartenders, those gay bars would be in violation of the law.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 1:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey
      Qjersey

      Well there is a well known promoter in NYC that only likes to hire straight guys to bartend at his parties because “gay boys are too much drama.”

      Then there are the straight bouncers who sneer at you.

      Oh yeah and straight strippers who get freaked out if you touch them.

      Give me a hot gay boy any day.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 2:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack
      Jack

      These straights are comin’ in our here hoods and takin our jobs!

      They took UR Derb!!

      Aug 13, 2010 at 2:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • whatever
      whatever

      Don’t get the str8 obsession whether in porn, bars, strippers. If gays are that insecure that they need the lovin’ of a supposedly straight guy, well I feel sorry for them.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 2:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Toby
      Toby

      So this is a one quote interview?

      He’s cute and I don’t suffer from ADD, you can do as many as 10 quotes!

      Aug 13, 2010 at 3:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james_from_cambridge
      james_from_cambridge

      Oh who cares? So if someone finds out in a mostly straight work environment that someone is gay they should be fired? Why not, after all, the straights might feel uncomfortable, right? Anti-discrimination laws cut both ways boys. Shut up and enjoy the straight view…

      Aug 13, 2010 at 3:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @DR:

      the non-discrimination laws in Illinois apply to gays AND straights, so for all of you bitching about how these guys should only hire gay bartenders, those gay bars would be in violation of the law.

      Nothing wrong with that. Maybe it hets got a taste of what queers got through, maybe they’d fianlly appreciate our lives. Unfortunately, the kinds of places who prefer to hire hets, don’t really care about the LGBTQ community.

      Just read the article, it’s all about making money off us with these hets. They don’t give a damn about our equality–just our money.

      @james_from_cambridge:

      So if someone finds out in a mostly straight work environment that someone is gay they should be fired? Why not, after all, the straights might feel uncomfortable, right?

      I’ll hazard a guess that this happens a lot more often than hets being fired for being straight.

      Anti-discrimination laws cut both ways boys.

      Anti-discrimination laws are to protect the minority–not the majority.

      @Qjersey:

      Give me a hot gay boy any day.

      Judging from the thumbs downs, Qjersey, we might be in the minority on this.

      @good service:

      I go to a gay restaurant where all the hot young waiters flirt with everyone

      Funny…I go to a restaurant to have supper.

      @Jack:

      Isn’t there a public toilet you should be trolling right now, Jack?

      Aug 13, 2010 at 4:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @DR:

      the non-discrimination laws in Illinois apply to gays AND straights, so for all of you bitching about how these guys should only hire gay bartenders, those gay bars would be in violation of the law.

      Nothing wrong with that. Maybe it hets got a taste of what queers got through, maybe they’d fianlly appreciate our lives. Unfortunately, the kinds of places who prefer to hire hets, don’t really care about the LGBTQ community.

      Just read the article, it’s all about making money off us with these hets. They don’t give a damn about our equality–just our money.

      @james_from_cambridge:

      So if someone finds out in a mostly straight work environment that someone is gay they should be fired? Why not, after all, the straights might feel uncomfortable, right?

      I’ll hazard a guess that this happens a lot more often than hets being fired for being straight.

      Anti-discrimination laws cut both ways boys.

      Anti-discrimination laws are to protect the minority–not the majority.

      @Qjersey:

      Give me a hot gay boy any day.

      Judging from the thumbs downs, Qjersey, we might be in the minority on this.

      @good service:

      I go to a gay restaurant where all the hot young waiters flirt with everyone

      Funny…I go to a restaurant to have supper.

      @Jack:

      Isn’t there a public toilet you should be trolling right now, Jack

      Aug 13, 2010 at 4:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dawson
      Dawson

      @Hilarious: I’ve yet to see a gay guy be more attractive than a straight guy. Maybe I just get horrible luck, but most of the guys I meet look to “fabulous” to be “butch,” and I like “butch” men.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 5:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Phil
      Phil

      @Dawson: Probably because you assume all the “butch” men are straight and don’t approach them because of it? Self-loathing is strong in this one, it is.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 6:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • McMike
      McMike

      The 100% straight guy is about as common as the 100% gay guy. IMHO, unless a man only watches lesbian porn he can not claim to be not turned on by a man’s package. If he wasn’t turned on by it, he wouldn’t be whacking off to it. Just an opinion…

      Aug 13, 2010 at 7:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james_from_cambridge
      james_from_cambridge

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones: “Anti-discrimination laws are to protect the minority–not the majority.”

      You are pathetically mis-informed. Local anti-discrimination laws and the new hate-crime Federal law apply equally to everyone. If you refuse to hire someone at a gay bar because they are straight, you CAN be fined and/or sued. Same if a bunch of gay dudes decide to attack a straight guy and beat him up for being straight. They CAN be charged with a hate-crime. The language in the Federal hate crime bill is very specific and if someone’s sexuality is mentioned in the attack, they can be charged. Now, is it likely that a gay street gang is going to beat up straight boys for being straight? No. But would they face Federal charges if they did? Yes.

      http://politics.usnews.com/news/religion/articles/2009/07/16/should-religious-conservatives-fear-the-hate-crimes-bill.html

      “[The law]would authorize the Justice Department to investigate and prosecute violent crimes whose victims were allegedly chosen because of their SEXUAL ORIENTATION in state or local jurisdictions unable or unwilling to do so. The bill moving through Congress also adds women and the disabled to the list of those covered by the law. Advocates say hate crimes laws are necessary because bias-motivated crimes terrorize entire communities.”

      Aug 13, 2010 at 7:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james_from_cambridge
      james_from_cambridge

      @McMike: When straight boys look at straight porn, they’re not concentrating on the man’s tool. The man’s penis is there so they can imagine that they’re the ones giving it to the chick, not because they’re aroused by it.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 7:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james_from_cambridge
      james_from_cambridge

      @McMike: When straight boys look at straight porn, they’re not concentrating on the man’s tool. The dick is there so they can imagine that they’re the ones giving it to the chick, not because they’re aroused by it.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 7:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Straight and gay are invented words. They don’t adequately describe the reality of male sexuality. Male sexuality is a lot more complex than a couple of words invented by some cultural guru jerkoffs who think they know everything about sexuality.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 7:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jimmy
      jimmy

      I don’t care what he is; I just want to suck his dick.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 8:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alan brickman
      alan brickman

      straight guys at gay bars make bigger tips…it’s true!!!

      Aug 13, 2010 at 9:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mr. Enemabag Jones
      Mr. Enemabag Jones

      @james_from_cambridge

      I was making a philosophical point, not a legal statement.

      I find it absurd that 90% of the population who already benefits from preferential treatment, should receive further preferential treatment.

      Online crusising has been blamed for the decline of gay bars, when it is mostly to do with bar owners like John Dalton who are more interested in bringing in larger straight crowds, than catering to LGBTQ crowds, turning gays bars into “mixed” bars.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 9:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kev C
      Kev C

      Straight guys working at gay bars should keep their sexuality in the closet and try passing for gay or be fired.

      Haha, just kidding.

      Or not.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 10:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • McMike
      McMike

      @james_from_cambridge: And what exactly are they imagining when the chick is blowing the guy? Are they imagining it’s them getting blown? How often do you watch a guy getting blown and think “Yeah, man, that’s me getting blown”? Men are simple creatures and we don’t come up with back stories about how long it took the pizza guy to deliver the pizza. I watch straight porn 95% of the time and the guy getting blown is always featured and the guy going down on the girl is hardly ever shown. Straight porn is more gay then straight and if it wasn’t the girl’s climax would be the money shot and not the guy’s. I wonder those who disagree actually ever get cruised by guys who’s girlfriends are looking the other way.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 11:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • scottyhouston
      scottyhouston

      The fact that we’re even processing this issue concerns me. Honestly, is this really news worthy? Who cares?

      Aug 14, 2010 at 1:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack
      Jack [Different person #1 using similar name]

      I was only joking, guys. Gesh.

      Haven’t you ever seen the South Park Episode where
      the line “Dey took UR Derb” is a punchline?

      What we really need to do is all jump into a big gay pile and have ourselves an orgy. Soon enough, the str8s will disappear!

      ikid.

      Aug 14, 2010 at 10:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CHIP1218
      CHIP1218

      Has anyone here besides me actually been to Sidetrack? How about the plain fact that the heterosexual twin seems like a nice guy at the door. He’s friendly and seems competent at his job. Go to the big clubs in NYC and a good chunk of the staff is not gay either. Usually a doorman/bouncer is a big beefy police officer/security guard doing this as a part time job.

      Aug 14, 2010 at 12:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      @Chip1218: I have been to Sidetrack about 7 times. Both the Begale brothers are smart, handsome and are unfailingly polite.

      They’re there to do their respective jobs & they do them well. That’s all that matters: the “Outside” Begale manages the door well and “Inside” Begale never forgets what you drink.

      Until I read this thread, I honestly couldn’t remember which one was gay & which was str8 — and frankly, I don’t care.

      Until ENDA is passed, my priority is keeping my three jobs to afford college and praying that my one homophobe boss doesn’t pinkslip me if I discovers I’m gay. He’s canned three other people, and if I’m next there’s nothing I can do about it.

      Aug 14, 2010 at 1:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DR
      DR

      @Mr. Enemabag Jones:

      “Nothing wrong with that. Maybe it hets got a taste of what queers got through, maybe they’d fianlly appreciate our lives. Unfortunately, the kinds of places who prefer to hire hets, don’t really care about the LGBTQ community.

      Just read the article, it’s all about making money off us with these hets. They don’t give a damn about our equality–just our money.”

      —————————————————————-

      So you say. But if we expect to be accepted, we can’t spend our time living in ghettos and separating ourselves form the straight folk. At least I won’t, anyway. It was a nice idea when I was 20, not so nice now that I’m edging oh-so-close to 40.

      Yes, businesses are about making money. I want the best guy at the door to greet my customers. I want the best guys behind the bar serving drinks. I want the best guys on the floor waiting tables. I want the best guys dancing. And if a straight guy fits into the mix, so what? As long as he treats the gay clientele the way any customer at a business expects to be treated, then I’m happy.

      PS… you’re wrong on non-discrimination clauses. They protect everyone, your philosophical argument notwithstanding.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 8:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • L.
      L.

      And to top it off, this post is filed under “Closet cases” on the main page. Jeeeezus.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 7:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      At least 11 posts on this thread were by Jason and his sockpuppets. In case you hadn ‘t noticed!

      Aug 15, 2010 at 9:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evan
      Evan

      um…so what?

      Does everyone now have to come out to every person they meet? Or just bar staff? Should lesbian strippers come out to their male clientele now? Gay men at Chippendale’s? What about the cute guy at the gas station – don’t know that he’s ever told me what he likes. Do I need to know?

      Aug 19, 2010 at 6:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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