We knew NOM’s national march on Washington would be lame, but we couldn’t have predicted just how delightful lame it was: spotty attendance, crazy-time signage, and a generally low level of enthusiasm plagued the whole darn thing.
First, let’s chortle cruelly at their low attendance. Two thousand people would be a lot for a house party, but as marches on Washington go, it’s more of a gentle breeze than a powerful monsoon. For comparison, that’s about the same number of people who dropped by a cute local beer festival at a Hawaii hotel.
Just check out the photos. Plenty of room to spread out!
According to some online commenters, the small crowds might be the fault of embarrassing New York Senator Ruben Diaz. He seems to have made vague promises to church groups that they could get a free trip to DC if they showed up at the rally, but didn’t do much to ensure that the people who took the free ride actually went to the rally instead of wandering off to a museum or sex shop.
And then there’s this:
— The Bilerico Project (@bilericoproject) June 19, 2014
“Gay sex leads to adult diapers!” reads this man’s sign. “Open door syndrome!” This guy told a reporter, “If anybody opens the back door unnaturally from outside, you end up having open-door syndrome. You can’t close the door. Anal sex harms [gays]. It reduces their life by, on average, 25 years—anal or oral sex.”
This is a delightful fake claim that antigay groups like to repeat — the idea that gay men are uncontrollable fountains of excrement. It’s demonstrably false, absurd on its face, and a clear sign that whoever is saying it is not quite all there, mentally. It’s like a tin-foil hat made of Depends.
This flaccid march was supposed to be one of NOM’s big projects for 2014, a show of power and force. Well, it sure hasn’t worked out that way for them — all they’ve managed to do is prove their own dwindling clout. Ha ha.