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Old Man Gay, But Not In That Way

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We hate to do it, but we’ve got to quote Alicia Silverstone’s Clueless character and say “Old people can be so cute sweet!”*

Take, for example, Arizona-resident Norman Derouin, who’s having some trouble with sexualized slang:

Call me of the older generation, but I remember a time when to be identified as gay was to be identified as a happy, outgoing guy. “Let’s Be Happy Let’s Be Gay Let’s Declare a Holiday” was a popular song.

I feel disenfranchised. I cannot say in mixed company that I am feeling gay. I would get looks.

I have nothing against the people who are of that genetic disposition. But please, come up with another widely approved description!

Hmmm, “faggot” is probably out, as is the truncated “fag”. Many people may find “Poofta” objectionable and “butt-fucker” far too crude. We’ve always been a fan of “homo,” but have a feeling people won’t agree.

So, what does that leave us? Not much. Sorry, Mr. Derouin, you’re just going to have to come up with a new word for “happy and outgoing”. How’s animated? What about gregarious? Oh, we know! Frolicsome! That’s very masculine.

*That hurt us more than it did you.

By:           Andrew Belonksy
On:           Mar 12, 2008
Tagged: , , , , , ,

  • 15 Comments
    • hisurfer
      hisurfer

      I’ve read this before, and a long time ago. I think he copied it from a Dear Abby letter from the mid 1970’s. Or maybe it was an Andy Rooney routine.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 12:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • qjersey
      qjersey

      Well even though some people in our communities don’t like to use the word “gay” because it is “white,” most of US agree to use this word, and don’t care what the non-queers think about us using it.

      All words evolve over time, “gay ladies” used to mean prostitutes.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 12:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Patrik
      Patrik

      The line is actually “Old people can be so SWEET!”
      GET IT RIGHT!

      Mar 12, 2008 at 1:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • chandler in lasvegas
      chandler in lasvegas

      “Older generation” my wide white ass. This guy is one of those closet cases that “never was defined by my sexuality” and now they want to find a word that describes them. How about Log Cabinette. He sounds like a classic “homosexual”. I had tons of friends that never came out, that lived through AIDS and now having so many of their friends taken by OLD AGE are now sitting home alone bitching like this guy. Get active and BECOME Gay you miserable fuck. There is still time.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 2:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • key
      key

      “What’s it called when you’re Gay for someone of the opposite sex?”
      HOMER SIMPSON

      Mar 12, 2008 at 2:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Maverick69
      Maverick69

      Instead of gay, I prefer bone-smuggler and the ones who like to bury them.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 3:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lucas
      Lucas

      I prefer the slangs of the British variety: bender, puffter, nob shiner, etc. :-)

      Mar 12, 2008 at 3:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jere
      Jere

      Is it that time of the year again? Yes, I believe some cranky old guy has poked his head out of his stucco-encased home to shake his fist at those crazy kids and whine about how things just aren’t they were back in the good old days. Why, next he’ll be complaining that music is too loud, nobody has proper manners, and he hasn’t received a hand-written letter in ages. He did, however, get an email from his grandson full of ridiculous and lazy spelling errors such as “LOL” and “WTF” and “ROTFLMAO.”

      He thinks it’s all pretty queer… oh, dammit, we fucked that word up, too.

      Why do we waste ink (or bandwidth) on stuff like this?

      Mar 12, 2008 at 3:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Paul Raposo
      Paul Raposo

      I’ve always liked “gearbox.”

      Mar 12, 2008 at 5:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • oakling
      oakling

      It’s all deeply stupid: he can still use gay. Everyone still knows what it means in that context. If he gets funny looks, it’s up to him to explain or ignore them or whatever. We didn’t make anyone look at him funny; he’s not taking responsibility for his own feelings or for what he’s projecting onto the people around him. Just like all homophobes.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 5:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bitch Republic
      Bitch Republic

      Those old people will be dead soon and everyone will have forgotten that gay ever meant anything else. ;)

      Mar 12, 2008 at 5:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hells kitchen guy
      hells kitchen guy

      Chandler: I think the point is that he’s a not-homphobic straight man who’s old enough to remember when “gay” meant something else, as in “The Gay Divorcee,” or “Gay Paree.”

      sheesh, must be that time of the month for you!

      Mar 12, 2008 at 8:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Larry McD
      Larry McD

      I’m in my 60s and I can remember when, about 25 or 30 years ago, a slick-suited pompous Young Republican jerk (redundant?) managed to get an essay into TIME on exactly the same theme.

      Maybe this old A-hole is the same guy, looking for a second act in his sadass life. If he’s not, I offer the same trade I offered then…. the day these guys agree that there’s only one meaning for pansy, fruit, nancy, queer, fairy, etc. etc. then AND ONLY THEN can they have gay back with a single “happy” meaning.

      Mar 12, 2008 at 11:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sugarsmack
      sugarsmack

      I like when people add “a” to gay or queer and use it as a noun. That distinguishes it from the old adjective. He’s a queer. Are you a gay? That bar is full of queers. Gays in the military… ETC. It sounds funny and naive, in a nice way.

      Mar 13, 2008 at 7:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MIchael
      MIchael

      I hate the word Queer personally, but, whatever you want to call yourself, more power to you. I am HUMAN!

      Mar 20, 2008 at 12:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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