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  noted bigots

Once Upon a Time, Maggie Gallagher Thought DOMA Was Too Little

maggiemagic

From a 1996 op-ed: “But consider what the bill, in its timidity, does not do: It does not ban gay marriage. It doesn’t even require that states that adopt gay marriage do so through democratic means. To the citizens of Hawaii, where a handful of lawyers appear poised to impose gay marriage on the majority, the federal government turns its back, offering no relief. A nation which a hundred years ago unself-consciously refused to admit Utah as a state unless and until it renounced polygamy, no longer has enough moral confidence to insist on a common culture of marriage. As I said: timid.”

(BTB via GAY)

By:           editor editor
On:           Jul 29, 2009
Tagged: ,

  • 18 Comments
    • Andrew
      Andrew

      Personally, I would have made Maggie’s card require black mana. But that’s just me.

      Jul 29, 2009 at 3:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • terrwill
      terrwill

      Maggie: C U Next Tuesday!!!!!!

      Jul 29, 2009 at 3:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tarcash
      Tarcash

      @Andrew: Nah, black is for death and decay. In this case, she is using self-righteousness and devious methods. At the very least, Black and White mana.

      Or am I just way too much of a nerd?

      Jul 29, 2009 at 3:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DeAnimator
      DeAnimator

      @Andrew: I agree. You should have to have like 10 swamps down to summon that hateful excuse of a human.

      Jul 29, 2009 at 5:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      Nah. As an old school Magic nerd, I think casting her as a White Mana Villain is perfectly accurate.

      She uses faith as a weapon to beat the chaotic masses into a cohesive weapon.

      She seeks to impose Order, HER brand of order, but order still.

      She seeks ‘the good of all in the community”…as long as “all” fall under her definition of community.

      She’s perfectly cast in White, much the same as Radiant, Archangel was once upon a time.

      *Goes back into my nerd cave*

      Jul 29, 2009 at 9:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Don SF
      The Don SF

      I can outnerd all of you… the Summon Bigot text should be above the description box. Seriously.

      And she should be the type card that costs like one mana and slowly takes your life or requires you to sacrifice better cards.

      Okay I’m done.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 3:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • raphael
      raphael

      WOW!!!!

      The Don, Josh, DeAnimator, Tarcash, and Andrew, I <3 you guys!

      she should have, for every cleric in play +1/+1

      ah this brings back memories. I am such a nerd!
      http://xkcd.com/422/

      Jul 30, 2009 at 4:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      You’re right, The Don SF! And it should read “Summon Legendary Creature – Cleric Bigot”

      We should think of what her keyword powers do…

      Here’s my thoughts:

      Lies: <> has Protection from White.
      [Because, "Hey, she's a Christian, just like us...right? We shouldn't contradict her, even if she's a nutcase, because if we do, God might not...I dunno...like us or whatever?"]

      Intolerance 2: Whenever <> is blocked by non-White creatures, <> gets +0/+2 for each creature blocking it.
      [Because whenever she's confronted by logic(Blue), passion(Red), 'alternate sexualities'(Black, as far as she's concerned) or compassion(Green) she falls back on her beliefs and refuses to budge.]

      Hysterics: Whenever <> is blocked by non-White creatures, <> gets +1/+0 for each creature blocking it.
      [Because whenever she's confronted by logic(Blue), passion(Red), 'alternate sexualities'(Black, as far as she's concerned) or compassion(Green) she flies into nutball accusations, wacko conspiracy theories and wing-nut 'religious' theories.]

      Exploits God: At the beginning of each players Upkeep, <> each player loses 1 life.
      [Because, after all, her interpretation of Christianity doesn't just cause harm to HER definition of God, it harms ALL Christian interpretations of God.]

      Exploits Children: <> cannot be blocked by creatures with Toughness less than it’s own.
      [Because her sickness can only be countered by people with stronger moral/mental capacities than her own.]

      Exploits Families: Whenever <> attacks, all other White creatures you control that can attack, do so.
      [Because we all know Maggie thrives on gathering the gullible and weak-willed to her bosom and rallying them against her percieved enemies.]

      OK, so…do I win the nerd award? Any other interpretations of these keywords? LOL

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      PS – She’s legendary because…do we really want to see more than one of her on the table at a time…?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • raphael
      raphael

      @Josh: EEEK!!!! I may love you Josh!!

      Jul 30, 2009 at 11:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andrew
      Andrew

      @Josh: Josh ftw.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 11:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      LOL, Raph & Andrew.

      *Blush* It’s good to know my geekiness is appreciated!

      Jul 30, 2009 at 6:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DeAnimator
      DeAnimator

      @Josh: Greatest post. Ever.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 9:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Josh
      Josh

      Awww! Thanks, DeAnimator! Hehe.

      I’m all embarrassed. Maybe I should be more proud of my geek cred.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 10:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Francis
      Francis

      It is not surprising to me that this self appointed marriage ayatollah has not breathed a word about all the high profile marriage scandals by right wing moral hypocrites. They project what they can’t handle onto us and then, when their human imperfections become exposed they shut up, make excuses, or tell the world how sorry they are for violating their principles. But do they ever question the standards they set for themselves and others? Never. They live in an absolutist world that really doesn’t exist while feeling smug and superior, but it is all a lie. Maggie’s only fear is of homosexuals, her career is a decades long obsession, in the meanwhile, many same sex marriages have more integrity than these self appointed moral ayatollahs.

      Jul 31, 2009 at 11:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andrew
      Andrew [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Time to remove Maggie’s mug from Qty… please, let’s not go into another weekend viewing her face…

      Jul 31, 2009 at 1:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DeAnimator
      DeAnimator

      @Andrew: I agree.

      Aug 1, 2009 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EgoCheck
      EgoCheck

      Your MAgic the Gathering card makes me smile.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 12:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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