From a 1996 op-ed: “But consider what the bill, in its timidity, does not do: It does not ban gay marriage. It doesn’t even require that states that adopt gay marriage do so through democratic means. To the citizens of Hawaii, where a handful of lawyers appear poised to impose gay marriage on the majority, the federal government turns its back, offering no relief. A nation which a hundred years ago unself-consciously refused to admit Utah as a state unless and until it renounced polygamy, no longer has enough moral confidence to insist on a common culture of marriage. As I said: timid.”
Andrew
Personally, I would have made Maggie’s card require black mana. But that’s just me.
terrwill
Maggie: C U Next Tuesday!!!!!!
Tarcash
@Andrew: Nah, black is for death and decay. In this case, she is using self-righteousness and devious methods. At the very least, Black and White mana.
Or am I just way too much of a nerd?
DeAnimator
@Andrew: I agree. You should have to have like 10 swamps down to summon that hateful excuse of a human.
Josh
Nah. As an old school Magic nerd, I think casting her as a White Mana Villain is perfectly accurate.
She uses faith as a weapon to beat the chaotic masses into a cohesive weapon.
She seeks to impose Order, HER brand of order, but order still.
She seeks ‘the good of all in the community”…as long as “all” fall under her definition of community.
She’s perfectly cast in White, much the same as Radiant, Archangel was once upon a time.
*Goes back into my nerd cave*
The Don SF
I can outnerd all of you… the Summon Bigot text should be above the description box. Seriously.
And she should be the type card that costs like one mana and slowly takes your life or requires you to sacrifice better cards.
Okay I’m done.
raphael
WOW!!!!
The Don, Josh, DeAnimator, Tarcash, and Andrew, I <3 you guys!
she should have, for every cleric in play +1/+1
ah this brings back memories. I am such a nerd!
http://xkcd.com/422/
Josh
You’re right, The Don SF! And it should read “Summon Legendary Creature – Cleric Bigot”
We should think of what her keyword powers do…
Here’s my thoughts:
Lies: <> has Protection from White.
[Because, “Hey, she’s a Christian, just like us…right? We shouldn’t contradict her, even if she’s a nutcase, because if we do, God might not…I dunno…like us or whatever?”]
Intolerance 2: Whenever <> is blocked by non-White creatures, <> gets +0/+2 for each creature blocking it.
[Because whenever she’s confronted by logic(Blue), passion(Red), ‘alternate sexualities'(Black, as far as she’s concerned) or compassion(Green) she falls back on her beliefs and refuses to budge.]
Hysterics: Whenever <> is blocked by non-White creatures, <> gets +1/+0 for each creature blocking it.
[Because whenever she’s confronted by logic(Blue), passion(Red), ‘alternate sexualities'(Black, as far as she’s concerned) or compassion(Green) she flies into nutball accusations, wacko conspiracy theories and wing-nut ‘religious’ theories.]
Exploits God: At the beginning of each players Upkeep, <> each player loses 1 life.
[Because, after all, her interpretation of Christianity doesn’t just cause harm to HER definition of God, it harms ALL Christian interpretations of God.]
Exploits Children: <> cannot be blocked by creatures with Toughness less than it’s own.
[Because her sickness can only be countered by people with stronger moral/mental capacities than her own.]
Exploits Families: Whenever <> attacks, all other White creatures you control that can attack, do so.
[Because we all know Maggie thrives on gathering the gullible and weak-willed to her bosom and rallying them against her percieved enemies.]
OK, so…do I win the nerd award? Any other interpretations of these keywords? LOL
Josh
PS – She’s legendary because…do we really want to see more than one of her on the table at a time…?
raphael
@Josh: EEEK!!!! I may love you Josh!!
Andrew
@Josh: Josh ftw.
Josh
LOL, Raph & Andrew.
*Blush* It’s good to know my geekiness is appreciated!
DeAnimator
@Josh: Greatest post. Ever.
Josh
Awww! Thanks, DeAnimator! Hehe.
I’m all embarrassed. Maybe I should be more proud of my geek cred.
Francis
It is not surprising to me that this self appointed marriage ayatollah has not breathed a word about all the high profile marriage scandals by right wing moral hypocrites. They project what they can’t handle onto us and then, when their human imperfections become exposed they shut up, make excuses, or tell the world how sorry they are for violating their principles. But do they ever question the standards they set for themselves and others? Never. They live in an absolutist world that really doesn’t exist while feeling smug and superior, but it is all a lie. Maggie’s only fear is of homosexuals, her career is a decades long obsession, in the meanwhile, many same sex marriages have more integrity than these self appointed moral ayatollahs.
Andrew
Time to remove Maggie’s mug from Qty… please, let’s not go into another weekend viewing her face…
DeAnimator
@Andrew: I agree.
EgoCheck
Your MAgic the Gathering card makes me smile.