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  LUNCHTIME GOODIES

One Million Moms Outraged By Hot Male Model Having A Picnic

lets-get-zestySorry, kids of America. Your Kraft macaroni and cheese dinner is tainted with the homosexual agenda, according to One Million Moms, and you can’t have second helpings. Try these algae crackers instead.

Homophobic hate group One Million Moms is on a tirade again this week, this time directing their attention to “the most disgusting ad” in the current issue of People Magazine. It’s “a full 2-page ad [that] features a n*ked [sic] man lying on a picnic blanket with only a small portion of the blanket barely covering his g*nitals [sic],” or as we like to call it, the greatest ad we’ve ever seen in People Magazine.

The ad, OMM says, “will push away loyal, conservative customers.” Sounds good to us!

All three women from the organization got together and issued a statement condemning Kraft’s amazing new ad campaign:

Christians will not be able to buy Kraft dressings or any of their products until they clean up their advertising. The consumers they are attempting to attract – women and mothers – are the very ones they are driving away. Who will want Kraft products in their fridge or pantry if this vulgarity is what they represent?

One Million Moms cannot get over the gall of this company. It is unnecessary for Kraft to use s*x to sell salad dressing!

Looks like we found our new favorite salad dressing!

By:           Matthew Tharrett
On:           Jun 14, 2013
Tagged: , , , , ,

  • 27 Comments
    • Grrrowler
      Grrrowler

      You just had to go and mention taint after posting a picture of that guy didn’t you? Now all I’m thinking about is cucumbers.

      Jun 14, 2013 at 4:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • miagoodguy
      miagoodguy

      That’s just a really odd advertisement for macaroni and cheese which I associate with kids/family/. I guess Kraft is trying to expand its target demographic.

      Jun 14, 2013 at 4:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @miagoodguy: That is not a mac and cheese add, read what the the sows wrote in their statement. Its an ad for Kraft salad dressing.

      Jun 14, 2013 at 4:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Darling Nikki
      Darling Nikki

      Just because you call yourselves “One Million Moms” doesn’t mean its true. And most moms will look at this ad and go “hmmm, maybe I will make a salad tonight”….

      Anyway, I’ll never think of the phrase “Zesty Italian” without thinking about this ad. Thank you VERRRRRRRY MUCH KRAFT.

      New meaning to Kraft Services too….

      Or tossing salad…

      Can’t help myself ;)

      Jun 14, 2013 at 4:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1EqualityUSA
      1EqualityUSA

      1,000 hormonal moms wills bring their aunts to the picnic. Pests.

      Jun 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      The add is clearly the doing of a str8t women, the contortion of his body/torso is awkward, as is the placement of the blanket, he looks exposed but neither comfortable or sexy. With that said, at least they didn’t shave his pits.

      Jun 14, 2013 at 4:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • miagoodguy
      miagoodguy

      Sorry. It is for salad dressing so yeah, now the advertising makes complete sense. really? It is still a weird advertisement.

      Jun 14, 2013 at 4:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles175
      Charles175

      MOM like most old and stale people, these are bitter that their lives suck. Reminds me of the old 1983 movie entitled “Porky’s II The Next Day”

      clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jkm5QrSzi_k

      Jun 14, 2013 at 5:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dixie Rect
      Dixie Rect

      The commercials are better and funny. He’s going to be the new ‘old spice’ guy.

      Jun 14, 2013 at 6:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      OK.. so straight women are driven away by pictures of good-looking men?

      Jun 14, 2013 at 7:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MickeyP.
      MickeyP.

      I’m outraged! But,then again,I’m a lesbian! :)

      Jun 14, 2013 at 11:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      OMM = one more maggot joins the small organization! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass leaving the salad oil aisle! And don’t come back, you Krafty bitches!!!

      Jun 14, 2013 at 11:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charli Girl
      Charli Girl

      @MickeyP.:
      Hee Hee LOL.. Me toooooo…now where’s the women “krafters”????

      Jun 14, 2013 at 11:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eiswirth
      Eiswirth

      Wow, the horror! These backward bitches need to get over their 18th-century thinking. Maybe a good fuck would help.

      Jun 15, 2013 at 12:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nineinchnail
      nineinchnail

      Ameicans are weird. Had he been dressed in fatigues and been pointing a gun at a bunch of schoolkids warning them to eat their veggies it would have been OK.

      Jun 15, 2013 at 4:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BlogShag
      BlogShag

      Why does nudity offend people in the USA so much? When the fuck are we going to grow up. ? It’s stupid

      Jun 15, 2013 at 5:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BlogShag
      BlogShag

      @nineinchnail: I concur. We are so immature and contradictory when it comes to sex and nudity, fitness, health, etc…or what should be valued and cause a shock and what shouldn’t

      Jun 15, 2013 at 5:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BlogShag
      BlogShag

      What I don’t get is what’s homosexual about this ad? It’s not a pic of a gorgeous male model fucking or kissing another guy. He is just laying there by himself.

      We have seen ads like this with women half naked all the time laying by themselves (uh umm, Heidi Klum, Cheryl Tiegs, Naomi Campbell) Does that make those ads lesbian/homosexual?

      Jun 15, 2013 at 5:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Caleb in SC
      Caleb in SC

      In a country of almost 400 million, one million moms sounds like a very small minority to me.

      Jun 15, 2013 at 6:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zrocqs
      zrocqs

      Thing is, boycotts from cons*rvatives seldom work. Groups like One Milli*n Moms make a lot of n*ise, boast about what they’re doing, but when the numb*rs come in, nothing has ch*nged. Businesses seldom pay much attenti*n to them.

      Jun 15, 2013 at 6:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hephaestion
      hephaestion

      “One Million Moms” is probably 3 people.

      Just like the “American Family Association,” which is two losers working in a tiny office in a run-down strip mall office in a dingy part of Tupelo, Mississippi.

      Jun 15, 2013 at 8:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Superman
      Superman

      “One Million Moms” should be sued for dishonest advertising. Don’t these “Christian” cows know that it’s a sin to lie? They should change their names to 3 fat fraus and a pint of cookie dough ice cream. And probably a bottle of Riunite Lambrusco.

      The ad is all wrong too. First, pull the tablecloth/blanket away from the sexy dude’s g*nitals, then prop up the salad dressing where it belongs: against his taint. That way, we know exactly what we’re having for lunch. Then, lay the loaf of bread on top of his g*nitals to make it slightly more subtle (the thing looks like a thick fat c*ck anyway). And the guy should be spread-eagled, while an equally naked Tom Welling and Henry Cavill feed him grapes. There, that’ll fix it. Now I’m craving Kraft Salad Dressing. Curse you, suggestive advertising!

      Jun 15, 2013 at 9:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Steve Rider
      Steve Rider

      It strikes me as odd that all of the things that seem to bother One Million Moms are remarkably similar to what bothers closeted Republican self-loathing gay men in denial.

      Just sayin’.

      Jun 15, 2013 at 12:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      Current USA Population: 313.9 Million

      OMM Membership Number: 48,637 members =

      951,363 Moms who are too embarrassed or ashamed to show their faces. Shocking! Schocking, I tell you! (Silly girls… what are you gonna boycott… your Depends?? You’ll have as much success at that as you would at anything else. How you embarrass yourselves, lolol.

      Jun 15, 2013 at 7:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alex G
      Alex G

      Every time I see this post or promotional photo I get a craving for some Kraft Italian Oil Dressing with spices!

      Jun 15, 2013 at 8:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Atomicrob
      Atomicrob

      I just love a doctored up version of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. It’s the best. The “MIllion Moms” are really like, 100,000, isn’t that true? Sexually frustrated housewives opinions don’t mean much to us. Stay home and vacuum the dining room.

      Jun 16, 2013 at 3:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hairspray_Harry
      Hairspray_Harry

      I COULD FUCKING CARE LESS WHAT A LESBIAN MAGAZINE BELIEVES

      Jul 5, 2013 at 6:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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