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CEREAL KILLERS

Open Letter “Praises” Minnesota Anti-Gay Group’s Campaign Against General Mills

At the end of June, a young activist showed up at General Mills headquarters in Minnesota to address anti-gay protestors from Minnesota For Marriage, who were chastising the breakfast-cereal company for standing against a proposed ban on marriage equality. Rather than engage the “Dump General Mills” crowd, this daring youth sprinkled the haters with glitter, like some giant kindergarten project.

Today, we received an open letter addressing MFM and the “vicious” attack that left tens of people mildly irritated. At first we didn’t know whether to laugh or be outraged. Hey, it’s Friday.

Here’s the letter:

Dear Minnesota For Marriage,

First of all, let me applaud you for courageously standing up for marriage, a sacred institution that has been under malicious attack since the dawn of time.

The veracity of this attack was seen most recently during your protest outside the offices of General Mills, when a young teenage girl and/or boy (you can never tell with the gays) viciously glittered seniors and young children. Some, as your Web site notes, were even “as young as three.” If I’ve learned one thing in life, it’s that young children HATE glitter, and generally consider it assault, as do we, when they get it all over themselves.

It took a lot of courage, like soldier-going-overseas-and-getting-shot-at courage, to stand up against such a flamboyant assault on democracy. How I wish I could have seen the faces of all those “hundreds of protestors” you bragged about on your site. Unfortunately, it seems the ultra wide-angle shot of the group you posted to your site only managed to get about 25 people in it…

And don’t get me started on the audacity of General Mills. Who do they think they are opposing this amendment by saying things like “We value diversity. We value inclusion. We always have and we always will.” Are those things Jesus would have stood for? I don’t think so. And are those the kind of values we want to teach our now-covered-in-glitter-get-your-freakin-hands-out-of-your-nose-I-wish-I-would-have-never-given-you-this-art-project children?

I think not.

Click through to read more of the letter

Photo: Minnesota for Marriage

 

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Jul 6, 2012
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 22 Comments
    • Mk Ultra
      Mk Ultra

      “Viciously glittered seniors and young children”
      Oh, we gays are a merciless group, aren’t we?
      The mafia would leave a horse head in your bed as a warning.
      But that’s too gentle for us.
      Glitter is truly the most offensive, and dangerous message there is.
      Especially when sent by such a dark, dangerous deliverer like a teenage child.,
      I mean, they kill our children, drive us out of our hpmes and jobs, take away our rights like taking candy from a baby. Anything thay we enjoy, they try to destroy.
      But I guess that’s okay becauae we committ the serious and veinous act of glittering. :-\ sarcasm

      Jul 6, 2012 at 4:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Making up stuff is fun!
      Making up stuff is fun!

      Uh … OK … but you’re clear that the letter is meant to be ironic, right?

      Jul 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Diesel69
      Diesel69

      JESUS FREAK—–USING CHILDREN FOR HATRED—–STONE THE FREAK–STONE HIM—

      Jul 6, 2012 at 4:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kev C
      Kev C

      wtf am i reading?

      Jul 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott
      Scott

      Kev- it’s called satire, sweetheart. ;)

      Jul 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chuck
      Chuck

      Yes, I hope Dan Avery knows this is satire. It’s unclear from his article.

      Jul 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mk Ultra
      Mk Ultra

      shit. My first thought was it’s satire.
      But honestly, consideting the bizarre and sinister rhetoric the haters use, it’s hard to tell.oh

      Jul 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      Ok Queerty, I have to ask…

      Are you SURE that this letter isn’t a joke? I mean other than the movie Showgirls, I didn’t know that something could be that unintentionally funny!

      Jul 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris
      Chris

      @Cam: Of course it’s a joke. How could anyone read that letter and not realize that it was a joke?

      Jul 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The US education system
      The US education system

      @Chris: “How could anyone read that letter and not realize that it was a joke?”

      It’s my fault, really … my bad.

      Jul 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • StraightGrandmother
      StraightGrandmother

      I didn’t take it as a joke. As for glittering, I say if you throw it up in the air (as opposed to throwing it at somebody)wherever it lands, blame it on gravity.

      Jul 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Making up stuff is fun!
      Making up stuff is fun!

      @StraightGrandmother: OK folks, let’s just settle this once and for all: That letter is a joke. Its tone, from beginning to end, is ironic. The letter, I repeat, is a joke.

      Jul 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Triple S
      Triple S

      I know I’m bloody flamboyant and feminine at time, but I’m pretty sure you can see my masculine frame, even past my makeup :P

      Jul 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Paul Mc
      Paul Mc

      Its hilarious, so over the top.

      Redefining carnival…. Yea…

      the most traditionally traditional marriage state ever – in the history of tradition. Yea!

      Well done Chad.

      Jul 7, 2012 at 8:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gppm1103
      gppm1103

      @Chuck:

      I think Dan takes this job a bit to seriously.

      Jul 7, 2012 at 9:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @Chris: said…

      “@Cam: Of course it’s a joke. How could anyone read that letter and not realize that it was a joke?”
      ________________-

      Chris, have you seen some of the things that the anti-gay folks actually say? The idiocy that comes from them? This letter is not far off from things that the Mormon Church or the Evangelicals come out with on a regular basis.

      Remember, he Mormons stated that the couple kissing on a public street was an attack on them. That is why I was double checking on whether or not this letter was actually real. But on the bright side, you got the chance to be snarky, so it’s a win/win.

      Jul 7, 2012 at 10:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Raziel Kainne
      Raziel Kainne

      “And with your help, and the help of the 25 people who showed up at the prote…I mean the hundreds of people who showed up at the protest, we can make that dream a reality.” this comment near the end of the letter seems to be a glaring example of purposefully ironic “error” on the part of the writer, chad. i’m definitely considering this letter as as a humorous attempt at irony…

      Jul 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aquarelle
      Aquarelle

      Ugh, why are you still talking about this kid, he isn’t even that good-looking. Sometimes I don’t get the gay community.

      Jul 7, 2012 at 8:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MKisNE
      MKisNE

      Well it’s nice that the writer mentioned the gay girl/and or boy is young, because when I saw that kid glittering those people I figured he was he was walking because he’s too young to drive. = viscious?

      Jul 8, 2012 at 12:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MKisNE
      MKisNE

      @Aquarelle: Well you’re probably gonna “get” the gay community on this site.

      Jul 8, 2012 at 12:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      Re No. 18 · Aquarelle : Let me guess. Someone will criticize you for making a personal comment about some random teenager and then you’ll whine that you are being cyberbullied or whatnot and how hurt you are. It’s a pretty good guess given that’s just what you’ve done in comments for several different articles.

      Jul 8, 2012 at 12:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @Aquarelle: And yet you continually come onto this site and post.

      Jul 8, 2012 at 8:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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