Whether it's "sexual intercourse" or not, oral sex remains a perplexing pleasure principal. Thankfully Tango Mag offers readers a surprisingly lengthy piece on "The Etiquette of Oral Sex," which includes this wowzer:
Pleasuring someone is usually a solo performance, which can be nerve-racking. If you’re giving it, you need to be extremely comfortable with, as biologists say, your partner’s crotch. Conversely, if you’re receiving it, you need to be extremely comfortable with your own. The net result can leave one or both partners wanting more, wanting less— or simply wanting to beat their heads against a wall.
We may not know much, but we do know that's not how you do it.
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This has been covered in many other mags already - so old.
How is a blow job nerve wracking? It's IMHO very relaxing; something you can put your whole concentration on and let go. As to being 'messy' that's a major part of the fun.