“I heard about the horrific shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, while our synagogue in Washington was celebrating Shavuot,” Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld writes in a new think piece published by The Jewish Chronicle Online. “Even though the holiday is a happy time, I cried as I recited our prayers.”
Rabbi Herzfeld leads Ohev Sholom, a Modern Orthodox synagogue in Washington, D.C. After the shooting, he says about a dozen or so members of the congregation approached him and said they wanted to show solidarity with the victims and their families.
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So they did something that, for them, was pretty crazy. They planned a visit the Fireplace, a popular gay bar near Dupont Circle.
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“We did not go to recruit members that night or to express any new theological ideas,” Herzfeld writes. “Our goal was simply to try to connect, build bridges, heal a little and be with a community in pain.”
“I had not been to a bar in more than 20 years,” he continues. “And I had never been to a gay bar. But we all realized that we had to act. Our country was in tremendous pain–is still in tremendous pain. We wanted to try to connect and offer support.”
Herzfeld says he understands that “the intersection between the gay community and Orthodox Judaism is obviously a work in progress” and that there’s still a lot of gray area between the two, but if ever there was an opportunity to find common ground, this was it.
Related: What Will It Take to Get Orthodox Jews to Embrace Their Gays?
The experience proved more eye-opening than he even anticipated.
“We walked inside and just by standing there with our kippot I felt that we were embracing a community that was looking for an embrace,” he recalls.
“That night I felt both the pain and the reassurance in the room,” he adds. “I felt pain when I stood in that bar–pain that I wouldn’t have been able to comprehend without being there.”
So what’s the takeaway from all this?
In a word: Empathy.
“As an Orthodox community, we need to communicate a message of unconditional love and unconditional safety and protection to all of our children from as young an age as possible,” Herzfeld writes. “We need to communicate a message that actively challenges homophobia and transphobia–and to actively assert that such harmful messages will not be tolerated.”
“For some children,” he concludes, “this can be a matter of life and death.”
zooby
Trump decided to meet with 400 anti-LGBT conservatives. Wait, I’m so confused. I thought Donald loved the gays more than Hillary. Do you mean he wasn’t telling the truth? Let’s see all of the self-hating gays saying Donald is better for the LGBT community explain their way out of this…
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
He tries to con the gays into supporting the terrorists nation of Israel that has killed American sailors, American citizens and that is running an apartheid, which is what he was paid by Israel to do?
GayEGO
Hmmmmmm, I never know what to believe with all of the hoopla going on.
Curtispsf
Is it TOO much to ask to simply accept that what Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld did was an act of love and empathy for a hurting community? In general, and I say in general, we have less to fear from Jews than we do from so-called Christians. And THAT is a fact.
gayhope1990
@Idonothavetobeagreewithyou:Israel is one of the most gay friendly country in the world and a paradise for lgbt in that bloody Middle East where lgbt are targets for religious zealots.By the way the Jews and Israel are two different things.
dwes09
@IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou: “He tries to con the gays into supporting the terrorists nation of Israel that has killed American sailors, American citizens and that is running an apartheid, which is what he was paid by Israel to do?”
Since you are clearly too addled to make it clear whether you are referring to this rabbi or to the previous comment regarding Trump, it is not surprising your comment is a logical mess.
The Rabbi is not likely to get any money from Israel, what exactly makes you think he might?
Please explain the notion of apartheid in Israel, when all Israeli Arabs, be they Jewish, Christian, Muslim or Druz are granted the same constitutional rights. The occupied territories are a totally different story, and the feelings of the Israeli people towards them is complex and varied.
And as previously stated, Israel has a great record on LGBT rights regardless of whether those LGBT people are Ashkenaz, Ladino, Sephardit, Arabic non-Jew or North African. Although Israel does not perform civil/secualr marriages (and that may well change in the next few years), any marriage performed in any other country including same sex marriage is afforded the same rights and protections. That is not the case in any other middle eastern country.
dwes09
One thing to note is the inaccuracy of the photograph heading the article. The congregation and Rabbi this article is about are stated as being Modern Orthodox. They are as far removed from the pictured Chassid as the Amish are far removed from Unitarians. They do not wear either Pais (the sidelocks) or the Shtreimal (the hat). The men do not necessarily have beards and the women do not dress in an extremely plain way nor do they wear wigs, shave their heads or otherwise totally cover their hair. And they freely associate with other Jews and gentiles with neither suspicion or distaste.
I am always amazed by how little some people, even in the US know about Jews or Judaism.
dwes09
@IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou: And by the way…you clearly do not have to agree with anybody, but remember that when you assume your imagination is reality, you will be corrected and ridiculed.
Brian
Is anyone else tired of the gay bar? I certainly am. It’s for people with no imaginations.
The gay bar is a make-believe world that is ultimately sterile and stereotypical.
OzJosh
So this Rabbi goes to a gay bar, seemingly “just stands there”, doing not very much, but then feels entitled to wax self-congratulatory about empathy, etc. This sounds to me like classic religious egotism and hypocrisy. I’d be a lot more impressed if he did something about challenging his religion’s still archaic and hateful and discriminatory attitudes to homosexuals.
dean089
It’s nice to find out that all clergy are not extremist nut cases.
scotshot
@OzJosh: The fact he showed up at a gay bar wearing his kippot is a statement, and to support gays and Orlando is pretty damn good. It’s all one step at a time.
Ogre Magi
@OzJosh: I think you are correct
Zekester
Why would Queerty use a picture of a Hasidic Jew for a story about a modern Orthodox Jewish rabbi?
Zekester
@Curtispsf: We also have less to fear in THIS country from so-called Muslims than we do from so-called Christians.
Malcolm Forest
This orthodox religious person tried to mend fences between you stupid Americans and his religion and all you can do is bitch about it.
When was the last time a JEW killed anyone else in the USA or on PLANET EARTH?
WHEN was the last time a MUSLIM killed anyone else in the USA or on PLANET EARTH?
Which is the more aggressive nasty religion trying to murder the GLBT community and anyone else on PLANET EARTH?
You stupid Americans. You are pathetic.
Malcolm Forest
@Zekester: Must be nice to live in your tiny neighbourhood.
Please answer this question correctly and honestly. In the whole world, which religion right now is murdering more people and killing more more members of the GLBT community?
I promise you, it is NOT Judaism.