Someone as unbelievably smokin’ hot as former rugby star Casey Conway should have no problems dating or hooking up, right? Well, maybe not.
In an interview with NITV, the openly gay Aboriginal Australian hunk opened up about the challenges with coming out and being a gay man of color in a majority white gay scene.
After tentatively coming out to his club’s managers, he negotiated the gay scene as a semi-closeted man before he got the memo that any version of the closet, well, sucks.
I was out-and-about on the [gay] scene and meeting people. I was doing that undercover and it finally came to a point where I had to start accepting it. I wanted more than what I was having.
When he finally came out and started dating, he found that his ethnicity made him an outlier in a gay scene that was mostly white.
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There was a lot of casual racism. People would say things like, ‘You’re hot for an Aboriginal guy’ or ‘I’ve never been with a black guy.’ I’d think, ‘You know that’s not a compliment?’
Unfortunately, Conway’s experience is one gay men of color know all too well.
Head over to Conway’s Instagram to look at a ton of pics that will definitely make you doubt the sanity of the guys who rejected him.
And remember, ‘you’re hot for a guy’ is never, ever a compliment.
surreal33
RACE is ever present, always relevant and a factor in every aspect of life. No surprises here just more of the same.
Danny De Cruz
So people who aren’t hot should expect homophobia and or racism? Get it fucking up ye!
SportGuy
There has always been a race problem in the gay community. One would think that a group made up of minorities would be able to treat people fairly. Sadly, the gay community has proven to be no better than the main stream which is sad.
Bob LaBlah
From the article: “There was a lot of casual racism. People would say things like, ‘You’re hot for an Aboriginal guy’ or ‘I’ve never been with a black guy.’ I’d think, ‘You know that’s not a compliment?’”
Here’s what he should have fired back at them (or at least I sure as hell would have said) “Please answer this for me because I am a little baffled and you sound like the type who can SURELY answer it. Is it true that your ancestors, the ones the British FORCED to get their asses on the boat and come down here or be beheaded, consisted of nothing more than pickpockets, thieves, robbers, murderers and prostitutes? And if SO, which of the lot were YOUR ancestors”?
I’ll bet that “explorer” he hooked up with won’t ask that question to another darker skinned guy who turns him on.
SeeingAll
@Bob LaBlah: (Yeah….but criminals ARE hot..)
Tackle
Many Black men, or men of color wouldn’t have this problem, or it wouldn’t be much of a problem, if they would STOP having a preference for White men. Yes there is going to be a problem with r@cial sexism/r@cial dating within the gay community. But a lot of it, non-White men bring upon themselves by their exclusive, or first preference for White men. I have not seen a gay man of color who does not prefer White men to be concerned with White men not dating them…
DDstar1me
I am so sick of these race- baiting articles. Racism runs rampant in many different cultures. It’s not always about black and white.
It has to do with the human condition. I can bet if we all came in the same shade we’d find something to hate another group of people for one way or the other. This subject is tired. It never gets resolved. So, I resolve to just live my life and F*** anyone who doesn’t like me or find me attractive because of this that or the other.
I’m a gay man who enjoys men. Period! race shouldn’t matter if your getting good sex. Cause if a man is giving my the D-right. I couldn’t careless about his color. I just want a good nut. Yah feel me!
SeeingAll
@Tackle: Do you think that’s the case ? Just asking honestly. In NYC, for instance, we used to have a lot of black bars that were for black men into black men. Yes, there have always been those with a preference (or fetish?) for another race exclusively, but….
Captain proton
am I alone in looking at his photo and thinking “what color?” ?
SeeingAll
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-11-01/anthony-mundine-aborigines-homosexual-gay/5063836 Not everyone is happy about a gay aborigine.
Xzamilio
@DDstar1me: Here’s the deal, babes… if you’re sick of race-baiting articles, try to figure out what it is about your gullible ass that seems to like taking the bait. This was as casual an article that you can get… nothing in depth but simply commenting on a truth. You don’t like truth… I get it. But it’s a truth that many of us deal with and I wish it would go away, too… so YEAH, it’s worth addressing, because even if it doesn’t go away, it’s something that should make those who have those prejudices think twice about being so proud of them.
DDstar1me
@SeeingAll….Tackle is 100% correct. I was guilty of that myself. I found that I was only getting attention from Latin men. And it was mostly from Latin men who themselves only preferred black men. It never bothered me until one of my close friends forced me to come to terms with the fact that I only wanted to be with Latin men. I started dating black men and I felt more at home. Black men feel more like home to me. I’m comfortable and free to be myself. It may sound strange but that’s how I feel.
DDstar1me
@Xzamilio…ok. I can appreciate that opinion.
SeeingAll
@DDstar1me: thanks for your side of it
José Ramón Harvey
Omg he’s hot and experiences racism! Blah blha
Captain Obvious
@Tackle: You don’t end r@cism by segregating. And the meme that black men are obsessed with white men needs to stop. There are plenty of black men who exclusively date black men and no one else. Likewise there are plenty of white men who exclusively date black men and they frequent black bars/clubs. Do they deserve r@cism too or is it only when black men like white men but it’s ok for white men to date whomever they want?
There’s one race… it’s called human. Humans of varying skin tones wanting to date other humans with a different skin tone is not evil. Just like there’s nothing wrong with wanting to date someone with the same exact skin tone exclusively or a different one exclusively.
Who you personally choose to end up with is not a political agenda. It might be a hard road and it could even be a long one. So what? What is it to you?
robho3
I’ll give him my number- sad that there is this stigma in 2015. All I see is a hot guy black, white, green, purple – it’s all good.
Adrian Phu Phan
It sucks but it happens.
CWM85
Gay man of color? He looks Caucasian to me… hmmmm Looking at him you don’t think he’s black, Asian, indian etc. You see a white man. Also I know quite of few people who won’t date outside their skin color and not just whites. I personally have no racial preference even though I’m more attracted to Central American, Spanish and Asian guys but have dated Asian, black, white and part Indian. I think people who won’t date someone based on their ethnic background is definitely missing out and shallow.
Kieran
In my experience sexual attraction is color blind. Cute is cute and hot is hot regardless of race or ethnicity.
Michael Mikolasek
Sad that someone this hot would experience racism…..
Captain Obvious
@CWM85: The heck are you talking about… he’s Aborigine and looks Aborigine. Jesus if he looks Caucasian to you then you don’t know what Caucasians looks like.
I know it’s hard to believe everyone who’s attractive is not Caucasian… *gag*
Hussain-TheCanadian
This man needs to bring his tush over here to Canada; I know its cold but i’ll keep him warm.
In all seriousness though, I think most men like/want white men is because they are the majority, and most of them, in appearance at least, are out. My last two Boyfriends were both Iranians, and very much in the closet.
So in a nutshell I think this is the reason.
Tony Stokes
Did someone from The Onion write this headline?
Tobi
He’s black?!
Captain Obvious
@Tobi: Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Aborigines are just as mixed as black Americans, but there are Africans who look just like Aborigines, and black Americans. And he’s also light skinned which you can find right here in America. He’s not even that light skinned, a good 75%(or more) of the global population is his skin tone(mostly Asians and Africans but also some Europeans). A lot of us are also lighter than this guy but if we straighten our hair people think we’re white… hence the Michael Jackson complex(not saying the player above did that).
NoCagada
@Captain Obvious: The word CAUCASIAN came from the people of the area of the Caucasus Mountains. If you looked at the average person from there, they don’t look like you.
Desert Boy
He should relocate to the USA, He would be busy 7 days a week.
Stan Schulz
Gay racism: when a non-white gay guy isn’t being hit on by the “right kind” of white guy.
Glücklich
Huh. In the home page photo he looks black. In the photo at the top of *this* page he looks Indian, i.e. South Asian. I prefer the latter photo because’s he’s smiling. He’s fine as hell in both.
Captain Obvious
@NoCagada: The hell are you talking about? This article is about the player above who is ABORIGINE NOT CAUCASIAN and yet you’re still on about how he looks CAUCASIAN. Are you slow?
He looks like my cousin who is black and ABORIGINES are clearly more closely related to AFRICANS than anyone else.
And while we’re on the subject all of humanity started in AFRICA not by osmosis in the mountains. So how about you stay on topic?
Arcamenel
Unfortunately that’s an experience all brown and black queer people have or will go through at some point.
JerseyMike
@Tackle: EXACTLY… I could careless if a white guy never looked my way.. In my youth I fcked the rainbow.. I have friends of all shades but at the end of the day I am most comfortable in a relationship with someone that looks like me.
Kangol
@Michael Mikolasek: No one should experience r@cism, whatever they look like.
@Kieran: I’m with you, but tell that to half the posters here on Queerty. Or even tell this site, which seems not to grasp that brown and dark-skinned latino gay men, let alone asian-americans and asian gay men of any complexion, exist. (And let’s not even get into the complete absence of gay arabs, native americans, etc., on here.)
Jim Beshear
He is very exciting and HOT.
Masc Pride
Cry me a river. I smell a hypocrite. Took a brief look at his Instagram and couldn’t help but notice he seems to only surround himself with the very type he complains about. Interesting how it always seems to work out that way.
enlightenone
Well, if he wasn’t attracted to gay males who have a delusional sense of superiority, he would experience much less rejection!
I hope he reads my comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Obvious
@Masc Pride: Uh he’s a gay Aborigine in Australia. Of course he’s around white guys… it’s a majority white continent…
I don’t think you really understand the minority experience in areas where white guys may be your only or best option when the pickings are slim to none otherwise.
I still don’t get why so many think people of color should have no interests in white guys but have nothing to say about white guys who prefer people of color.
Why are people of color not allowed to be interested in white guys without nasty comments? Why are gay people still trying to segregate based on color in 2015?
enlightenone
@Arcamenel: “Unfortunately that’s an experience all brown and black queer people have or will go through at some point.”
ALL black and brown —- people are NOT attracted to these guys with a delusional sense of superiority!
enlightenone
@Michael Mikolasek: “Sad that someone this hot would experience racism…”
Shallow much?
SeeingAll
@Captain Obvious: I agree with most of what you’re saying on this subject, except for white guys who go for black guys not being criticized. I’ve heard some pretty rough things said about “those type of white guys” amongst gays.
Nick Marriott
Man,you are fucking HOT HOT HOT,PERIOD!……seriously beautiful!……please marry me?
moldisdelicious
So basically folks empathize with him because he’s attractive? How fucked up are some of you folks?
I have to say that too many gay folks are uneducated and ignorant. That’s nothing to be proud of. Just because of you have any aspirations to represent anything positive doesn’t mean you have to drag others down with you.
moldisdelicious
And for the record, for all you slow people holding on to the idea of race. Race doesn’t exist. It’s a social concept that was created to ensure that Europe would have power through all the places that were stolen. Let’s smarten up people. Show the world that we ate not just sex objects and are human beings
Bob LaBlah
There is something about him that gives an aura of insecurity with himself. I think the same applies to many of the commenters here. One must be pretty lonely to get upset about who is screwing whom in this world of plenty. If it ain’t interested or you aren’t interested, simply move on to the next one. Its just that simply. Why hate on someone else’s happiness? That’s for the frustrated.
SeeingAll
@moldisdelicious: (rolls eyes)
L Daniel E Kaufman
Hehe this topic always tickles me. I have some hot friends who have problems like that. No one hits on them cause they’re too hot. But rascism? I wonder if it was more choice thing?
moldisdelicious
@Bob LaBlah:
Insecurity is apart of being gay. Same thing with all these white guys running around pulling the race card all the time. It’s so pathetic.
SportGuy
@moldisdelicious: Yes very true that the majority of the gay community falls into this category, which is why as a whole it’s pathetic.
Captain Obvious
@SeeingAll: Well I really meant that in these silly conversations where black/white people start bashing black people for being interested in white guys in the first place. They always seem to forget that there are plenty of white guys who are also exclusively into black guys. They suddenly don’t exist when these arguments come up.
People also forget that just because you’re black doesn’t mean you fit in with the majority of black people. We’re also a minority of a minority so you just plain have better odds finding someone who matches up with you better if you look to the larger population.
Not sure why people think if you both gay and your skin tones are similar you’ll have the same interests, like going to the same places, and want to participate in the same activities.
I personally find dating the same “race” a turn off just because it feels like a lot of the time the other guy could be your brother or your cousin. Like they look similar to you or you have a cousin they look similar to. When the guy is a different color/ethnicity it feels way less like inbreeding.
I also usually have more in common with white guys than black. Hispanic and Asian guys usually say their parents don’t want them with black guys. I’ve never really had that problem with white guys and the ones who aren’t into me don’t bother me at all just like any other guy who isn’t into me doesn’t bother me.
SeeingAll
@Captain Obvious: I understand.
moldisdelicious
@SportGuy:
The thing that I don’t get is how folks basically are oh so serious about this thing called preference. We are gay. Does that mean we are going to like every guy we run into? No. Does that mean we are never going to be attracted to a woman? No. Its cringeworthy seeing folks being way too passionate to generalize what they think they’re attracted too. When folks say they like a certain group of guys, they’re bullshitting because if you line all those guys in the group up and they will still be picky. Why can’t it just be simple? Reject a guy and move on. Folks don’t even have to say why. Just say I’m not into you and keep it moving. It’s annoying seeing all these lames trying so hard to make themselves seem desirable when theyre anything but having to resort to the whole “I’m into black guys, I’m into white guys”, “don’t message me if you’re black”. It’s so stupid. These dudes really need to get a grip and realize that not everybody is thirsty over them and that they are just like everyone else in the planet. Not this stupid narcissistic, idolizatiion crap that gay men seem to think is so hot where it’s found frequently on dating apps.
Now watch how folks get all upset thinking I’m talking crazy and shit. Gay culture sadly does not promote intelligence. It’s promotes stupidity and simple mindedness. That’s the problem. Folks make the simplest shit complicated and it doesn’t even need to be.
Gabriele Babo Galassi
Why would being ‘hot’ save you from racism? Why are we even having this conversation, as if being ‘hot’ should be a pass for acceptance? Get a grip, ffs.
Blackceo
Dammit I said I wasn’t going to look into this thread because I knew it would be full of ignorant comments from people who don’t experience or know shit about r@cism yet act like they can speak on it. First of all, the title of this article is so completely ignorant it took me awhile to actually read the article. So because he’s “hot” he’s supposed to be exempt from experiencing r@cism from white gays; it’s absurd that because he’s “hot” he shouldn’t be experiencing it. Yeah….not how r@cism works.
Second, yes he is a gay man of color. No he does not look Caucasian. I’m lighter than he is ok. On one hand I appreciate Queerty for even acknowledging that r@cism exists in the gay community, but the title of this thread just shredded any fucking chance to offer more praise. Third, as far as interracial dating goes, let people live. We should be past criticizing Black men who like to play in the snow. (And before anyone wants to start some mess, I’ve played in the snow as well). I’m equal opportunity and find men of all races and backgrounds have attractive men. For those men of color who exclusively date White men, yes some of it is self hate. But you also have to take into account what a person grew up around and if their parents connected them to their culture. And then sometimes its just a plain preference and its as simple as that. Also, the “Don’t date a ______ guy” isnt exclusive to any race/culture. When my grandmother found out I was gay she had no problem with that but said “Just don’t bring home any White boys”. But lord knows there are those white folk with foot in mouth disease with their “You don’t act like most Black guys” or “You’re so well spoken” or “You’re hot for a Black guy” or “What are you? Are you mixed?” What the entire fuck?!!!! Do you know how much like an ignorant bastard you sound?
I guess for Conway being in Australia it is difficult being a gay man of color. Not much diversity there as opposed to if he were in some place like the US where he could explore other scenes. I grew up surrounded by White people but thank god my parents put me in Jack and Jill and made sure I had strong connections to my culture. We are overall a very segregated community though and I don’t see that changing any time soon.
Ditamo
Well, white people in America is the majority, so I don’t see why black people would limit themselves, or any ethnic group to tell you the truth, to just dating their own race/ethnicity. I don’t see anything wrong with it. For me what is important is your social status and what you are doing with your life to improve it. Of course if it’s just sex we are talking about, than looks is what is most important.
Joshua Grubb
I think it’s the beard.
meghanada
Does he also experience Black homophobia, or is it off limits to discuss those two words together?
meghanada
@SeeingAll: Wow, thanks for bringing up that comment. That’s a lot of prejudice – more potentially violent than the “you’re hot for x”.
These people should get real. White gays are not the ones going onto the streets wielding bats to beat up darker gays. Darker gays have a more immediate threat in their straight brethren. Yet non-white homophobia, a greater problem than “gay racism”, is off limits as a subject of debate.
Want some data?
According to Pew Research, from 2010 to 2014, White support for marriage equality increased from 49 to 59%.
Black support increased from 40% to… 41%.
You know why is this? Because our fellow gay activists in the dear African-American community would rather whine about the fact that it’s hard to get white dick off Grindr than to combat homophobia within their families.
And no wonder. It’s quite “in” among left-wingers to demonize gay men (especially if they’re White and/or “cis”). Ethnic minority communities, on the other hand, are like sacred cows, and no aspect of their communities is ever worth criticizing, quite unlike how the gay community is treated.
— a South Asian/Latino gay.
Louis
Looks have nothing to do with racism or whether it can happen to someone.
Racism has to do with intolerance and a lack of education and it also has to do with how one is raised.
Intolerance is a learned behavior as well as a taught behavior these uneducated people who spew racism for the most part were raised to believe these things by their own parents.
People a lot of times teach their kids how THEY think in order to make their children grow up and think the way they do.
However most kids nowadays are very intelligent and realize with time that they have their OWN minds and no one controls that but them.
I cant believe we even have racism within this community but ive seen it for years especially online and its disgusting to witness quite frankly.
Learn from the mistakes of the past that so many have made in regards to racism in this country and evolve your ways of thinking otherwise it simply makes some of you look like hypocrites plain and simple.
osman
Racism exits !I am muslim and get lots of stick from guys when I mention my beliefs !!
i even had a punch up in a bar ! I tend to date other ethnic guys , latinos because similar religious values even though not same religion. i get hate from black and especially white men, I am attracted to all race’s but some judge and belittle me
Ben Davies
Vincent van den Brink omg ;-p
Tobi
@Captain Obvious: I wasn’t taking a pop, he’s gorgeous, but just from the pic. above I figured he was spanish, italian, portuguese, etc.
Tim
OK so…what if you really ARE attracted to people of a certain race? Is that racism? Or just a fetish? Or what?
Just asking.
Tackle
@SeeingAll: Yes it is. When you expand your options, you have more options. And when you limit them, you have less. A Black man who only limits himself to White men, regardless of how hot/goodlooking(as he has shown) will have these problems. Then at some point, bitch about it. And it’s a whole different story when Black men only date, or prefer other Black men, than a Black man who only dates and prefer White men…
Tackle
@Captain Obvious:And this is coming from a Black guy, who prefers White men. You’re wrong on several points. I suggest that you don’t allow your feelings & emotions to override your logic & reasoning. Who’s segregating ? I didn’t say anything about segregation. And no the, (as you say)mame about Black men obsessed with White men need to stop: I say no it does not. Much of that obsession comes from being conditioned and brainwashed by the larger dominant society. And that type of attraction is not healthy.
And no one said anything about anyone deserving r@cism. And as far as us being all of the human race, then you need to practice what you preach. Stop seeing skin color first and foremost, and look at the human qualities first.There is nothing wrong with cross r@cial dating, or having a partner of a different race. But I think there is a lot wrong when you have a Black guy, or man of color, who prefers, and only dates White men. Then complain about the r@cism he’s receiving. It’s silly for Black guys like you to be going around saying how you prefer White men, when the vast majority do not prefer you. And in a latter post, you claim to have more in common with White men, than you do with others. Really! Like What? What commonalities do you share with White that you cannot find with others? such BS. That’s just an excuse for your weak-minded, self hating , brainwashed mentality…
Tackle
For those who are confused by this guys appearance, and questioning if he’s Black. DNA test show that Australian Aborigines were one of the first groups to leave Africa, 55,000 yrs ago. His look, like many Aborigines who look ambiguous is the result of their female ancestors being raped when the Europeans arrived there in 1788. Like everywhere, a form of the one drop rule was adopted. Or if one had any form of noticeable blackness, you were considered Black. And as with many groups of people, who’e past included a history of rape, where the victims had on choice, many choose not to embrace the rapist bloodline.
GQ83
Ya’ll on some crazy shit with these comments. First of all dude is sexy as F@ck. Second, I’m a black man who prefers men of color over white men simply because I have never met a white man that didn’t make it seem like dating a black man was a fetish or a secret, walking around just because he’s white he has to be right. Why do black men have the acronym BBC whites don’t have BWC, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten the “your cute for a black guy” bullsh!t. I’m the guy that looks over the sea of white faces and looks at the sprinkle of Latinos, blacks, Asians, Indians. I’m not saying I don’t notice the occasional white dude. At the end of the day, I just like men no matter what color.
Bauhaus
Yes, he’s absurdly hot.
I’m attracted to men of all races and of any ethnicity. No preference. I’d say I’m somewhat opposites attract, but I’m also attracted to white men. It’s about the man himself, for me.
SeeingAll
Captain Obvious is right about this whole thing. Nobody should be obliged to go for another race because they might just not be attracted to that race. And nobody should be criticized for going after another race, either all the time or once in a while, because that’s his own business and his own reasons. The MYOB thing really comes in strongly here.
jimstoic
Racism is at least partly a form of looksism.
Masc Pride
@Captain Obvious: Total straw man, dude. No one has suggested segregation or that people of color should stay away from white men. You’re being very dramatic and intellectually dishonest. I said this guy seems guilty of the very thing he’s criticizing white men for doing. Guys like this seem to always want to talk about “sexual r-cism” in white guys that prefer other white guys, yet they always have an excuse for why their preference for white men is somehow totally justifiable (i.e.: “there are more white men”, “the gay community has brain washed me” yadda, yadda, yadda). It’s blatant hypocrisy. How about we put the other side in the hot seat sometimes?
Most white guys that are open to black guys are usually still into other white guys too. Plus, it’s no coincidence that many of those white guys are bottoms that are just obsessed with the BBC myth. Most black guys that prefer white guys are usually only into white guys, and a lot of them have fairly obvious inferiority issues and often express negative opinions of other blacks. There are very different reasons behind the attractions.
Also, Austrailia has a large Aboriginal population. On top of that, Austrailia has many other ethnicities too. His sole focus in this interview (and on his Instagram) is clearly white only. You can’t complain about it if you’re guilty of it.
SonOfKings
Black men should only date other men if color. Be they Blacl, Latino, Arab, or Asian. Just not White. I’m a Black, gay male and no cream in my coffee.
SeeingAll
@SonOfKings: Well… I think it’s time for YOU to listen to “White Boys” from “Hair” !
moldisdelicious
Does anybody in here even aware of what race is or the history of race and how it was created? To me, sounds like a lot of you guys need to do some reading.
Nick Grillo
Queerty is doing a very poor job of creating headlines lately. This one, for example, says because Conway is hot, he should be exempt from Gay Racism. There is no need to work Conway’s hotness factor into the story. Gay Racism IS the story. The community being reached by Queerty is not as shallow as they think we are. Might be time to “unlike” Queerty?
JerseyMike
@Masc Pride: Excellent point!! Most black men that date white men don’t date other black men.. How are they going to be upset with with white guys for not wanting them when they don’t want date other black guys. This says a lot about how they view themselves. I’m a black man who has dated the rainbow.. I do have a preference for black men but I don’t exclude others if I have a connection with them..
JerseyMike
@meghanada: Since you are pointing fingers at the black community I am going to assume that there is only peace and love in south asian community when it comes to gays
tdh1980
Every time we have this gay r@cism discussion we seem to miss the forest for looking at the trees. When white men are any one person’s exclusive choice for dating, it almost always speaks to conditioning via pervasive exposure to a Euro-centric ideal of beauty throughout our lives. One’s attractions are as influenced by sociocultural factors as they are by any innate predilections, so to say that people simply “like what they like” is reductive and lazy. Historically, anywhere European colonization has taken place is somewhere where whiteness has been exalted above all else, and THAT is the problem. We have to work to dismantle the white supremacy so that the community itself can be more inclusive.
SeeingAll
@moldisdelicious: Guy….race (or tribes, or ethnicity) goes as far back as ancient Egypt. And probably earlier.
Captain Obvious
@Masc Pride: You sure are claiming to know a lot about groups you aren’t apart of.
Black men who date white men have an inferiority complex and there are no white men who exclusively date black men?
Cool, you’re nuts, you could’ve just said you were nuts. Would’ve saved us both a lot of time.
Don’t even have to address the nonsense you posted about Aboriginal gay men because you could’ve just Googled searched to see you’re wrong and they say you’re wrong in their own words.
But since you’re clearly r@cist there’s really no point in engaging with you in this discussion. The only one with an inferiority complex is you which is why you feel the need to make stupid comments like that. Hopefully when idiots like you finally die off people will stop feeling the need to segregate at all.
@Nick Grillo: It’s impossible to have the discussion when people who don’t experience it are unwilling to hear those who do. Like the “Masc Pride” troll I responded to above they’re going to tell us what our experience is and what the experience of others is when they are of the majority and have no clue what they’re talking about.
Honestly gay r@cism goes much further than who you date. There are resources open to white gay men that others including even white lesbians don’t have access to because of it. Honestly though it seems the only real answer is to start our own groups and organizations that are inclusive and ignore these idiots who want to segregate.
The real problem is the people who segregate no matter what color they are. There are separate prides, separate gay organizations based on color, separate events, separate campaigns, etc. It’s ridiculous and childish. All these posts in favor of segregation and they have no clue about the damage they cause.
Who you date is not important. Segregating a minority into more minorities/subcultures politically is a problem and as a community it’s an even bigger one.
People wonder why Prop 8 passed but are in favor of segregation. The stupidity is real.
Blackceo
@meghanada:
“You know why is this? Because our fellow gay activists in the dear African-American community would rather whine about the fact that it’s hard to get white dick off Grindr than to combat homophobia within their families.”
Clearly you don’t know shot about what gay activists in the Black community are doing. I see you missed the class on intersectionality as well. For one thing, Black gay activists aren’t pressed about marriage equality the way White gays are cuz we have life threatening shit going on in our communities with epidemic HIV rates and homelessness and substance abuse and trans women being killed. Vh1 and Logo had a special last week about being gay in the hip hop community and there was a panelist on there who also said as much, that marriage equality was mostly something of interest to white gays. We have more consequential issues going on in the gay Bkack community so p,ease sit ALL THE WAY DOWN because you sound stupid and clearly don’t know what you are talking about and obviously don’t know any gay Black activists.
Georgie Land
Oh, pleez! As if brown gays don’t make dating choices based on their ‘preferences’ including race or general background! Boo-hoo!
Masc Pride
@Captain Obvious: You’re taking this stuff so personally, dude. Calm down. Guys like you are another reason why it’s “impossible to have the discussion”. You clearly didn’t read what I said. I never said that there are no white guys that date black guys. I said the reasoning behind the attractions can be very different. One usually just wants “BBC” (I’ve seen a lot of black guys complain about this also) and the other usually needs validation. Very different motivations. White guys who are exclusively into black guys is also nowhere near as common as black guys who are exclusively into white guys. Guys like Casey wouldn’t be complaining all the time if white guys were anywhere near as into black guys. And you call yourself Captain Obvious?!
@JerseyMike: Thank you! Guys like this are total hypocrites, and their melodramatic rhetoric (that almost seems rehearsed at times) just makes them seem like they’re fishing for pity f*cks. Not exactly a turn-on.
SonOfKings
White for White an Black for Black and anybody else that’s hot and not White. That’s how it should be.
alphacentauri
@Tackle: Gay and bi black men who prefer other black men do exist. I’m friends with some gay and bi black men who mainly only get involved with black and sometimes latino men. They no longer get with white men, or Asian men because they said that Asian and white men want them only because they’re black, because they’re supposedly hung, and for r@c!st reasons.
CWM85
@Captain Obvious: Why the hell are you so offended? I simply stated the guy looked Caucasian to me. Not United Kingdom, or east Europe but like Spanish, Italian, Greek and middle east Caucasian. Calm the fuck down…. geez…
CWM85
@Stan Schulz: Huh?
Blackceo
@Captain Obvious:
“The real problem is the people who segregate no matter what color they are. There are separate prides, separate gay organizations based on color, separate events, separate campaigns, etc. It’s ridiculous and childish. All these posts in favor of segregation and they have no clue about the damage they cause.”
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What is the alternative? I agree that segregating is not the answer but take separate pride events for instance. When I was really into doing pride each year I followed the Black and Latino pride events because the entertainment and workshops and forums were specific to our culture and what’s going on within it. You don’t see forums about empowering gays of color amongst predominantly white pride events and so therefore we created spaces for us to do so. So yeah we have to have separate pride events in order to celebrate culture within culture. The dominant culture has no incentive to do that which is why it pisses me off when idiots say why is there a Black Entertainment Television (BET) and not a White Entertainment Television. Because you already have them. They are called ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and a whole host of others. My ethnicity and culture define me more than my sexual orientation, which is in large part why my preference is for Black or AfroLatino and Arab men. I have dated White men but could never see myself marrying one, unless he had the mind and attitude of cat daddy Lawrence O’Donnell of MSNBC.
alphacentauri
@tdh1980: How do you feel about how a lot of gay white men seem to only want black men simply because they’re black or for r@c1st stereotypes/myths like “big black dick”? I have met very few white gay men who claimed to be into black men who did not want them only because they’re black or because of the myth of “BBC/BBD”. I have met some gay black men who wanted me only because I’m white and bisexual, and I did not like this.
Mike Smith
The gay community isn’t so inclusive – woops ha!
Captain Obvious
@CWM85: Because you tried to diminish his African heritage just because he’s attractive. He’s a black male ABORIGINE from Australia. There’s nothing Caucasian about him. He doesn’t look remotely Caucasian.
Why are you trying to pretend he looks anything but black?
Louis
I have about had it with your crap QT you people allow people to bash bully and mock people consistently yet the moment you are sick and tired of it you people INTENTIONALLY spam the comment.
Do your damn job and start banning these people from this site because they are the ones making this site complete garbage.
If you have a personal prejudice against someone based on the color of their skin and that’s the reason you do not date someone who is black then yes that is racism.
Some of you clearly do not even see your own prejudices within this community instead you individuals continue to act pathetically MACHO and insensitive.
Grow up already im tired of seeing your Neanderthal bs all the time.
tdh1980
@alphacentauri: I’m opposed to any decision to be with anyone for purely r@cist reasons. It’s not flattering to be someone’s “big black dick” or “sweet black ass” mandigo fantasy.
John
@Captain proton: To me his shade/tone/color is attractive. I spend lots of money on bronzers, lotions, oils trying to get this shade. Very handsome except personally not a fan of so much ink. It seems everyone today thinks its hip/cool to cover themselves with it. this man was decorated with muscles and fuzz, no ink was needed.
Masc Pride
Out of pure curiosity, I clicked on the “Gay R-cism” tag to see what else was there. The entries are by the same guy. Surprise, surprise. We’ll probably be seeing a lot more of these courtesy of Mr. Smith.
Masc Pride
@Captain Obvious: This is absolutely NOT what the average black guy looks like:
instagram.com/p/4v8SafNphh/
This guy also never said he was black. He said he got the ‘I’ve never been with a black guy’ comment when in a mostly white scene. Guarantee you he has chosen Mixed Race or Other on any hookup apps/profiles he may have. He looks way more South Asian or Hispanic than he does black, and you know it. Even the writer here refers to him as a “gay man of color”, not a “gay black man”.
Franklin
Ya’ll are funny. Especially you Masc Pride. You seem to have gay men of color all figured out huh?